- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Same! It’s with someone I work with though, and I don’t get false memories, just more “ideas” of how much happier I’d be with him instead of my boyfriend. Because him and I can talk and have so much more in common. When in reality I’ve maybe had 5 conversations with this guy and he has recommended me to listen to some songs, which I would listen to. We like similar music. And in my head I have convinced myself because of this we’re actually meant to be, not my boyfriend and I. Writing it down here makes me realize how stupid this is, how it doesn’t make any sense and it’s actually kind of laughable. But in my head it definitely isn’t and is scary
- Date posted
- 6y
Well, given how in OCD we're compelled to seek reassurance, I'll try to put it this way. Sometimes for reasons we can't pinpoint we fall out of love. It could be related to some fear of abandonment. Did you recently do through a very bed break up?
- Date posted
- 6y
Tasha123 I’m right there with you. I had the same horrible thoughts and it was debilitating. This went on for months before I knew it was OCD. I finally broke down and went to see a psychiatrist and that’s when I was diagnosed with OCD. Don’t worry, you aren’t falling out of love. You’re just suffering from OCD. Honestly, I had to go on a very low dose of medication to initially help with coping. I never wanted to go down the medication path but I’m so glad I did. Try talking to your psychiatrist about medicine. Then once you get a grasp on your thoughts, begin Cognitive Behavioral Therapy with a certified therapist. During that time, you’ll begin to find ways to cope with those thoughts and before you know it, you’ll be ready to drop the meds and move on with your life. Good luck!
- Date posted
- 6y
I've had this several times whilst with different boyfriends-although it always passed and was never the cause of a break up! People with OCD tend to be very moral, and OCD also attacks the things you care about the most, so it's natural that if you notice someone else your OCD jumps on it and tells you you love them and are going to break up your current relationship. Do you know what compulsions you are doing? Reassurance seeking, avoidance etc? Try and stop doing them and sit with the feeling till it passes. So hard I know. But you will get through it!! People with OCD are naturally very strong ?
- Date posted
- 6y
I fear not being able to fall in love. So it doesn't seem so far fetched
- Date posted
- 6y
Any advice please?
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
I am in a relatively new relationship (around 2 months) and it has been completely virtual due to varying circumstances. I have never been in a serious relationship before and my past “exes” have never been this serious or brought up any of these feelings. About a month in I started having tons of symptoms and thoughts I figured were due to an SSRI change (i eventually went back to my original med/dose) however, it has remained quite bad since. Thoughts include: -I don’t actually like my partner, I just like the feeling of being wanted -I have crushes on other people, including my partners friends who I barely know -I don’t feel butterflies so I must be losing feelings for him -I think he’s ugly/im just not attracted to him -I’m secretly a lesbian and I’m wasting his time by being with him -a general feeling of dread, wrongness, or needing out of the relationship -not being able to believe him when he reassures me about everything -all of the above is just my genuine feelings and I’m using ocd as an excuse These are obviously crazy things to think, however one of my biggest compulsions is confession and self sabotage so I have told my partner all of these things in detail. He’s really great and patient about all of it but I can tell it weighs on him. Hes even recently expressed feeling like it’s his fault and that he wonders if it wouldn’t be this bad if I was with someone else. I feel so miserable but i feel like I’d be miserable in any relationship but im scared that’s not the truth and my ocd isn’t real. When it’s good i feel the most romantic love for him I’ve ever felt toward anyone ever. He’s an incredible person but I just feel so alone and lost on what to do. I’ve literally tried to break up with him like five times and each time we’ve ended up wanting to stay together. I’m really really scared I’ll never get better or this is simply the wrong relationship for me.
- Date posted
- 17w
I need advice. I’ve had OCD in different forms since I was eight. I’ve been with my boyfriend for two years now. He has always been subtly anxious and jealous. He would say things like, “I find everyone but you ugly” or “I could never find anyone else attractive.” That stressed me out morally, especially since it’s our first relationship and I, of course, want to be good enough for him. It started around the three-month mark of our relationship. Now to the problem: When I see someone who is attractive or cute, it already begins. I start thinking—or rather, I don’t just think, I feel. I genuinely and naturally feel these emotions, like I find that person attractive, like I like them, like I want them. I even feel infatuated, like I want to be with them, spend time with them, be their partner, even sexual scenarios or feelings like I love them. These emotions feel so natural and real that I can’t tell the difference. With one person, I’ve had these feelings for over a year. But I only know most of these people by sight. It could be that I’ve fallen in love with the idea of them. That’s a big issue for me. It completely goes against my moral values. I don’t want this. For me, it would be terrible to have a crush on someone else, to like someone else, or to fall in love with another person. Or worse, to love someone else. Because I do love my partner, and I want a future with him. And I know the relationship wouldn’t survive if my fears came true. Even if he always tells me, ‘No, I wouldn’t break up with you,’ I couldn’t live with it myself. And the thing is, it’s not even such an unrealistic fear. It’s not like I’m afraid I want to kill someone or that I have feelings like that. No, this topic I’m dealing with involves real people. There are many people who suddenly fall for someone else, who develop a crush or even fall in love with another person. And I can’t reconcile that with myself. A year ago, I saw someone, and it hit me like a shock (I think in a negative way). Yes, he is attractive or cute. But in that moment, I felt so much fear, panic, and adrenaline because I felt and thought that I liked him more than my partner. When that happens, I start testing my feelings again. And of course, I feel exactly what I’m afraid of. I then constantly feel this pressure or burden, along with guilt. When I think about a scenario, or imagine the person, those feelings come immediately—followed by fear, panic, and guilt. Because of that, I avoid certain places, things, or even numbers because I’m afraid of being triggered. By now, I’m convinced these are my true feelings, because I just can’t imagine that OCD could produce such emotions, and for such a long time—sometimes over a year. I simply don’t want this. I just feel awful, like a monster. What should I do?
- Date posted
- 16w
I’m really anxious because I know my ocd is really bad right now so I shouldn’t try to figure it out cause my thinking is a mess but I’ve been having feelings of like I’m not sure if I love him anymore or worrying that I haven’t felt a lot like numb (a lot because ocd has been getting worse and worse) and thinking of like how I’ve been focusing on the negatives and only been looking at him through that lens and analyzing and also feeling like I don’t want this anymore. Basically just like negative thinking in feeling like I’m really scared it’s that it’s I don’t love him cause I don’t want it to be over and the thought of having someone replace him makes me ill. But like it feels like I’m not seeing him how I used to and it makes me upset. Today I was near someone I was like oh this person is cute and then I was thinking that the possibility of meeting someone new sounds exciting and now I’m freaking out because this in combination with feeling like maybe I don’t love him anymore is bad. Also my thoughts keep changing. and like sometimes it feels like I don’t care at all and this has happened but like worst it’s ever been and then other times I’m like I do care I do still feel. I’m just really anxious has anyone else felt this before and it was still ocd? 😭😭
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