- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I dated my husband and married him without telling him I had pocd he just knew that I had been very depressed and anxious in the past and had to get on meds. He was very supportive and after we got married and I had a relapse I finally opened up to him. It hasn’t always been easy, of course, but he is very understanding, even of the theme, and has opened up about some of his fears. I don’t think you have to bring up your ocd in the beginning, maybe just try to go on dates and see if you click with anyone, if the relationships seems to go anywhere, you can bring it up later, and can even just address it as “severe anxiety” and see how he reacts and then go forth depending. Get a good feel on how he feels about mental illnesses. Dating my husband was such a good distraction in the beginning as well and made me start feeling happy again :)
- Date posted
- 6y
I can’t say that every experience will be amazing but every person I’ve dated has been very understanding when I told them. They didn’t necessarily understand the exact implications but they were still supportive.
- Date posted
- 6y
Hi, I’ve been dating my boyfriend for close to a year and he is my main support system. I came out to him about my ocd, pocd to be specific and he accepted me. While he admitted at first he was extremely thrown off and not sure how to approach it with time he said he noticed how much I was suffering and how serious it was. The right person and people who are understanding won’t judge you for it and if they do initially once they get to know the real you they’ll know their judgement wasn’t right. I understand how you feel. Ocd and this theme in general is really tough and terrifying and is really hard to talk to people about. The best you can do is try to educate them on it.
- Date posted
- 6y
This might be a little too personal but do you ever get like intrusive thoughts during intimacy? That’s what I’m most terrified of, I feel like it will traumatize me
- Date posted
- 6y
Yes, and he understands it’s not my fault. I never used to but then one particular hard day I couldn’t keep it out. I did cry but I’m not going to let it stop me. I might be less inclined to want to have it because I really don’t want those thoughts in my head but I can’t let it keep a part of my relationship that I enjoy from me.
- Date posted
- 6y
@cruzic I know how you feel. Obsessive thoughts about sex can change theme for me and have affected relationships. I was most confident my first five years of dating and having sex. Then intrusive thoughts. Find it difficult ever since. Addiction, overuse of porn (although my tastes are very mild), obsessive fears around being an abuser, taking a long time to get aroused, obsessed with my performance, trying to do it absolutely ‘right’. The POCD is the worst though. But my wife knows, and it can affect intimacy. The hard truth is to expect they will come in and let them whenever they do. I struggle with this right at this minute. But pushing them away doesn’t work. Over time it will pass.
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you guys. I’m going to talk to my therapist more about this. it’s really scary and just embarrassing
- Date posted
- 6y
https://www.intrusivethoughts.org/blog/finding-one-dating-ocd/ I found this article and thought of you! Thought it might help!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 16w
Hello, I unknowingly have lived with ROCD or OCD (not sure what one. I’m new to this). It has ruined so many amazing romantic and platonic relationships and I am so sad that just now I am finding out what the hell is wrong with me. Maybe life would be different if I have known. My OCD and anxiety is at an all time high (ATH) due to some horrible events that have happened in the recent months. I am at the point where paranoia has taken over my life now. I had my first panic attack a few weeks ago where I fainted. My anxiety attacks are so extreme I go thought cognitive distortion that has lasted days. My girlfriend of 3 years is my emotional guardian and she no long has the energy to be that and honestly it’s not her responsibility to be that. She is bi and wanted to have an open relationship and for someone who has OCD this has not been good for me. She also was assaulted in my own home by a good friend of ours when I was out of town but it’s not a clear situation because it sounded consensual at first. I just left my very high paying job. I am financially secure but the job was emotionally abusive and looking back made my OCD worse. I am taking some time off to get my head right…but now, all I have to do during the day is live in my OCD. I’m very happy I finally figured out why I act the way I do but I don’t know if I can get better quick enough to save my relationship. I have never been so worried about myself (M 28 years old). I am a confident young professional and never thought I would be writing on a page like this. Anyway…I hope it gets better.
- Date posted
- 9w
I’ve been really struggling the last week and I need some help. I’ve been seeing a guy for about 2 months who checks a lot of my relationship boxes. He’s so kind and we have a lot of fun together. The first few weeks I was totally smitten but had moments of fear about being committed. We talked about it and decided to take things slowly, and then I would have days of feeling like every thing was perfect with some fearful feelings in between. Two weeks ago now my SO-OCD and ROCD started to come back a little as well as my more anxious-avoidant behaviors. I started to get more scared of the future and it was more intense. At the end of last week, he asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes. He is exactly the type of person I see myself marrying and has great values and is so secure about me. Until last week, he generally made me feel so safe and secure. Ever since saying yes, I feel so scared and anxious and my SO-OCD and ROCD is on max. I also find myself getting more annoyed and irritated about things that were minor annoyances or non-issues before. I’m having intense physical responses to both OCD themes, and the nagging thought and feeling that I need to end things with him because we aren’t right for each other. It makes me feel so sad and guilty. Sex is becoming harder because of the thoughts too, whereas at first it was perfect. I don’t know who I can talk to about this without them telling me to just break up with him. Everything is so new so I think they’d chalk it up to my intuition. But I do want to be in love and have less fear around relationships, so I don’t want to give into the fear. I think it could help me to set boundaries and have space for myself more often. I think I need some advice or insight. I know I shouldn’t ask for reassurance, but having some around how other people have felt at the beginning of a relationship would help. Why is it that the label is freaking me out so much? How do you guys set boundaries to prioritize yourself when you feel this way?
- Date posted
- 9w
I posted the other day about my subtype of staring ocd but I’m supposed to start a new job next week. I work in wellness/beauty and will be seeing people half naked. It doesn’t trigger me as I’m treating clients but only when I’m not supposed to be looking (like normal interactions). It happens when people wear very revealing clothes or are super curvy and my eye goes to that area. It also happens when people are adjusting themselves and my eye goes to their hands. It’s very embarrassing and I quit my last job because of this and I don’t want to make more people feel uncomfortable. It left me very depressed and hopeless. It’s such a frustrating type of ocd to deal with because it impacts me financially and socially. I just want to feel okay. Anyways, I’m writing this because I’m wondering if I should share with my new employer about this issue so I don’t weird anyone out or keep it to myself? I’m not sure what to do. I need money as I have a mortgage and two kids and would like to help my husband. I’m currently on Zoloft 50mg, have done therapy but this is such a hard type to treat as it’s not the cleaning type. I know I’m not supposed to ask for advice about what to do but I need to know so I can make a decision and not get cold feet.
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