- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I dated my husband and married him without telling him I had pocd he just knew that I had been very depressed and anxious in the past and had to get on meds. He was very supportive and after we got married and I had a relapse I finally opened up to him. It hasn’t always been easy, of course, but he is very understanding, even of the theme, and has opened up about some of his fears. I don’t think you have to bring up your ocd in the beginning, maybe just try to go on dates and see if you click with anyone, if the relationships seems to go anywhere, you can bring it up later, and can even just address it as “severe anxiety” and see how he reacts and then go forth depending. Get a good feel on how he feels about mental illnesses. Dating my husband was such a good distraction in the beginning as well and made me start feeling happy again :)
- Date posted
- 6y
I can’t say that every experience will be amazing but every person I’ve dated has been very understanding when I told them. They didn’t necessarily understand the exact implications but they were still supportive.
- Date posted
- 6y
Hi, I’ve been dating my boyfriend for close to a year and he is my main support system. I came out to him about my ocd, pocd to be specific and he accepted me. While he admitted at first he was extremely thrown off and not sure how to approach it with time he said he noticed how much I was suffering and how serious it was. The right person and people who are understanding won’t judge you for it and if they do initially once they get to know the real you they’ll know their judgement wasn’t right. I understand how you feel. Ocd and this theme in general is really tough and terrifying and is really hard to talk to people about. The best you can do is try to educate them on it.
- Date posted
- 6y
This might be a little too personal but do you ever get like intrusive thoughts during intimacy? That’s what I’m most terrified of, I feel like it will traumatize me
- Date posted
- 6y
Yes, and he understands it’s not my fault. I never used to but then one particular hard day I couldn’t keep it out. I did cry but I’m not going to let it stop me. I might be less inclined to want to have it because I really don’t want those thoughts in my head but I can’t let it keep a part of my relationship that I enjoy from me.
- Date posted
- 6y
@cruzic I know how you feel. Obsessive thoughts about sex can change theme for me and have affected relationships. I was most confident my first five years of dating and having sex. Then intrusive thoughts. Find it difficult ever since. Addiction, overuse of porn (although my tastes are very mild), obsessive fears around being an abuser, taking a long time to get aroused, obsessed with my performance, trying to do it absolutely ‘right’. The POCD is the worst though. But my wife knows, and it can affect intimacy. The hard truth is to expect they will come in and let them whenever they do. I struggle with this right at this minute. But pushing them away doesn’t work. Over time it will pass.
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you guys. I’m going to talk to my therapist more about this. it’s really scary and just embarrassing
- Date posted
- 6y
https://www.intrusivethoughts.org/blog/finding-one-dating-ocd/ I found this article and thought of you! Thought it might help!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
At this point of my life I barely have compulsions, barely let them control me, but recently I have realised my OCD is still keeping itself alive by holding me back and making me avoid stuff since I cut compulsions. So I don’t do compulsions but I avoid. And when it comes to SO OCD, I avoid dating. I am in the age where it’s the most common thing to do, I have friends who are getting married and I still haven’t seriously dated my entire life. If I date I date to marry. But it’s making it even harder. My brain tells me I can’t date to marry or date at all because no man will accept the possibility that I am bisexual or the fact I might have intrusive thoughts over sexuality. Worse than that, what’s actually holding me back is the fact that in one of our dates I know I’ll have to bring this up. And what if the man will start to get stressed over it? What if it’ll be too much for him and he’ll leave? And worse-tell the people that know both me and him all the personal things I told him about me having SO OCD? I can’t do this.. I don’t want to do this to myself I don’t want to let go of this secret to any man who can just leave me because of it at any point.. that’s what’s holding me back from dating.. and I want to be brave, I want to just go for it, I want to let it go but am too afraid I am just selling myself and my darkest secrets out there for men who can cancel me at any moment. I gave up on dating… it’s all too complicated for me and I have this voice in the back of my head telling me maybe I wasn’t born for it. Maybe I wasn’t born to get married or be in a relationship, maybe I am not good enough for all of this.. and then OCD adds its own stuff.. maybe I am gay and dating would be lying to myself and the men I date.. too much responsibility..
- Date posted
- 16w
Hi all, I’m quite new to the whole ROCD thing as I was just diagnosed after years of thinking I just “wasn’t meant for love/dating” because of how horribly I would spiral into a depressive, extremely dread-filled and horrifically anxious state of mind and immediately cut it off during the talking stage with guys. After breaking up with a guy who I truly liked and cared for TWICE, I was finally diagnosed with OCD and it all really makes sense now. It feels weird trying to explain it to others though… I don’t know if I’m alone in these feelings, but it feels like every time I start talking to a guy—usually after the first date but the worries are extreme even in the beginning when I perceive that they are starting to like me—I end up in this major depressive episode where I don’t feel real or like myself, I can’t take care of myself, I’m either hysterically crying or I feel numb, I feel completely trapped (even if we’re not officially dating yet), I question everything in case I’m missing a red flag of some kind or some hint that this person isn’t right for me (even with simple things like a guy giving me flowers, I end up thinking “is this moving too fast? Is he being weird? Is this love bombing? What if he has an ulterior motive? Why did he really give me these?” when logically I know it’s probably nothing) I feel like I’m always looking for evidence to see if they are secretly weird, if we aren’t compatible (always “casually” ask them to take the Myers-Briggs Personality Test to try to find out as much information as humanly possible right off the bat due to fear of being stuck with them only after realizing their real personality) It then typically escalates to a point where I never want to check my phone in fear that they texted me, I feel smothered from any communication, I wish for them to break up/break it off with me, the thought of them just icks me out and almost disgusts me, I can’t get out of bed, I can’t stomach going out with friends or family of theirs, and I usually need to introduce 24/7 drugs of some kind (weed and nicotine) to my daily routine to cope with the feelings/use it to eat something because I can’t eat when I’m with them/due to the anxiety around dating them. With the man I just broke up with FOR THE SECOND TIME AFTER A WEEK OF DATING, it had gotten to a point—as it always does—where the pain of trying to be with them is greater than my appreciation for them. I might smile at my phone when they text me and be full of joy around them, but the portion of time when I’m NOT around them and left to just think about the relationship or observing how they are behaving rather than being in the moment is just too much. Once I break it off though, it feels like a bag has been lifted over my head and I’m finally back to my normal self. I usually need a couple days to emotionally recover, and then I’m up and cleaning my home, taking care of myself, and back to making plans with others. I feel lonely then and might miss them, but I know it’s just not fair to ANYONE right now to date someone like me. Is this relatable? Do I sound crazy? - Z
- Date posted
- 15w
Hi all, I would really appreciate some advice on how you told a loved one about having ocd, specifically a significant other. I’ve been with mine for over 5 years, and I just had a recent diagnosis of OCD. To be honest, with the subtype I have, it’s really crippling to deal with, and I have a major worry of my partner not understanding the subtype. I would love to get some advice on how to best approach it and how to provide understanding that I’m still the same person. Thanks!
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