My OCD has massively spiked from last weekend to tonight. I usually can pinpoint why. Tiredness, not feeling well, stressed, dreaming (out of my control); these are all wonderful times for OCD to attack because you're already feeling crappy and less on guard, which makes it easier to flare up. However, I have zero clue why it's so bad currently. I'm not stressed, not tired, not not feeling well. And it's not a little flare where it's picking on just one thing. It's picking on the ENTIRE spectrum of sexuality: incest, beastiality, pedophilia, and homosexuality. It's horrible. I seriously want to cry and feel like I'm suffocating. I can't listen to music, go places, really do anything without it taking something and trying to twist it. Like driving in the car with my mom and maybe a more sexual song comes on on the radio: Oh you're listening to a sexual song with your mom. That's weird. That means something! You're into your mom! Cuddling my dogs and just feeling loved: Oh you're too close to your dogs. You're into them. You're sick. Oh you really like your trainer cause she's super nice and funny: You know a good deal of female trainers are gay right? You were wondering if she was gay or bi. Why were you wondering? Cause you're gay and you like her. Like seriously NONSTOP. I can't even watch tv and see a character that's gay or a celebrity who is gay and not start freaking out. I have absolutely nothing against the LGBTQ community. It's just I don't want it or like it for myself. But here I am freaking out. Then you have random physical arousal that goes with all that crap, and it just makes it all worse. There are seriously no therapists where I'm from who understand and properly treat OCD. It's all reassurance based. And then there's all these places I hear about that sound great and like they really get OCD. Think they offer online/on the phone therapy for my state? lol NO. Like how are you supposed to feel any better feeling like no one can help you? I know there are self guided therapy books. But I'm terrified. Petrified. I need a professional to help me get over that first hurdle. Can anyone relate?): Also, does anyone get triggered by seeing the posts on here? If there's even anything that slightly mentions sexuality on here that someone is having trouble with, my OCD latches onto that and turns it into a new attack for me. That's why I've always been hesitant to join OCD support groups. Because I KNOW my OCD will see someone's own OCD issues and latch onto them to further attack me. It SUCKS.

Yes take the step and talk to someone

Some additional reasons OCD spikes: hunger, tiredness, generalized stress, hormonal fluctuations, caffeine intake, dehydration. Sounds like it’s time to be intentional with your self care. I had to start meal prepping so that I didn’t get hangry and eat junk which further triggered my symptoms. I have an alarm for when to both wake up and to go to sleep. I have to be strict with myself to ensure I’m getting enough rest. This also helps stop me from drinking coffee and eating sugar for energy. Test things out for yourself and see what works!!

Trust me I’m right there with you, this whole week my pocd has come back to the main theme and it’s been a bad week, especially since I just started meds. It’s horrible. I feel good for an hour tops and like I can accept the thoughts but then I feel bad and feel like accepting the thoughts means I agree with them (I know it doesn’t.) but it’s hard and it loves to attack me in my sleep, or when I’m trying to fall asleep. I’ve barely slept this past week so trust you’re not alone.. I’m struggling too. All we can try to do is take it day by day. ALSO I’m in a super small town so I know how you feel about limited therapists in the area I think online is my only chance to properly heal.

Isai: I'm so sorry you're dealing with that. I know exactly how you feel about it attacking you in your sleep or when you're trying to go to sleep. Mine loves to attack me when I'm trying to go to sleep. I think a lot of people suggest deep breathing and meditation, but my OCD tries to pop in images when I try to think of a calming place. :/ sigh. Then on top of that, you have dreams about it! And there's absolutely nothing you can do about that :/ I was OCD free for a year after doing 4-5 months of Exposure Therapy. So I know it works. But I switched anxiety meds, and yeah my life became a living hell. I used to only have the HOCD. But with that new med, that's when all the other sexual things started. Every single day I had a new fear. I got off the med and back on what I was on before. But the damage was already done. And that was in summer of 16, and I still haven't gotten any sort of grasp on it. I have the same trouble as you. 1. It's very hard for me to say "yes" to the thoughts and let those, any images, and whatever physical sensations be there. 2. Because I'm an over thinker, I get confused on how to let those things be there and kind of talk back to my OCD by "agreeing" with it ("You're right OCD! I'm a TOTAL lesbian! On top of that, I'm a lesbian who loves my mom, dogs, AND kids! Wow! I am just so gross! Gee thanks! But I'm gonna go about my day now! Thanks for those thoughts and images though! I appreciate that!") but not accepting it as true. It's hard for me to wrap my brain around agreeing but not accepting if that makes sense. It's been my biggest obstacle. And I'm trying a few therapists out online that can legally work with me in my state. But honestly? If I still don't have some sort of grasp on it by the summer? I'm really thinking of traveling out of state and doing an out-patient program somewhere where you legit see a therapist everyday for like 3-5 weeks but stay in a hotel or whatever. Only thing is my old therapist said it's good to have that break from your therapist so you go live life and experience things and learn to deal with flare ups so that you implement the tools given to you. But I'm so desperate at this point and feel like OCD has debilitated me so badly, I don't care if I have to see someone everyday for the rest of my life. I just need help. If I can get like a head start and get past that confusion between letting the thoughts be there but knowing that doesn't mean accepting them as true as well as learning to be "okay" with being uncomfortable with images, thoughts, and physical arousal, I think I would be set and just need that check in. But it's getting over that first hurdle that has been the hardest thing. :/ I hope you can find someone to help you. Have you looked on the International OCD site to search for therapists in your state and/or that can legally help you from out of state?

Yes I’ve looked but the closet is an 1hr 30min away and I don’t think my dad would find driving back and forth that much ideal. So it looks like I’m stuck with online sessions.. because everyone seems to be telling me my current therapist has no idea what she’s doing. I just went through another practically sleepless night. This theme is so exhausting I just want some sleep and I get maybe 4 hours and it’s not consistent.

WorriedDriver It spiked tonight after I still hadn't had any dinner by 10 PM. Entire car ride home, I felt physically aroused for absolutely zero reason and just generally bleh. When I got home, I went into the bathroom and cried and hit my head. I tend to try and "get OCD out of me" by pulling my hair or hitting my head :/ I'm so far into my panic that I just can't act rationally :/ I then ate food and felt a bit better afterwards. Now I'm feeling kind of depressed... I have a sleep disorder in which I'm constantly very tired. It's called hypersomnia. So it's very difficult for me to go to bed early or wake up and not fall back to sleep. I take stimulants to help me be awake during the day, but the downside is that those use seratonin. Our seratonin levels are already lower at night. You add the crash off of the stimulant, and I'm just a complete mess OCD wise. The crash makes me depressed, angry, and anxious. I'd been feeling better in terms of that lately, but my OCD has spiked dramatically. It sucks. Luckily, I don't like coffee or energy drinks. However, I do drink diet soda :/ sometimes I drink it because I'm trying to wake up during the day (I can still fall asleep on my stimulant). I'm trying to be better about not having those at night so that I'm not amped up and unable to go to bed. My problem probably is chocolate. Horrible. My body doesn't really do well with carbs, but I personally love them. I know I have to switch my diet soon to low carb. I did it before and felt better health wise. I don't remember if it helped so much with OCD.... Actually, when I did it, it was before I had "relapsed" with my OCD. So I can't really say if it did anything in terms of that. Maybe it WOULD help. Who knows.

Isai I'm so sorry. I completely feel you. My old therapist that led me to that one year without horrible OCD just is sooo flaky. I love him, but it's impossible to get an appointment with him! It wasn't like this a few years ago. But after I relapsed, his business definitely changed. He is truly the only one I know where I live who understands and effectively treats OCD. But how helpful is it if you text, call, and email and he reads it but doesn't respond? It's so frustrating feeling like there's only one person who can help you but that person is just so scatter brained in terms of running his business that you just feel helpless. I basically texted and said if he knew of other therapists to let me know their names cause obviously he's very busy and he finally responded saying we could meet every other week. It's a start but I wish I could see someone more often. I looked on the IOCD site, and the only other therapists registered on there are in the northern part of my state lol. Yippee. Is your current therapist helpful at all? Or does it seem to just be talk therapy or reassurance? If so, I agree that you somehow need to find someone else. I personally think in person therapy is better (at least for me in my experience), but if you can't find anyone close by, online is better than nothing. The IOCD site has great ideas on what to ask potential therapists when you're having that first consultation to see if it feels like a good match. The tips they have are really good, and I'd definitely go look those up and ask them if you decide to look for a new therapist. You definitely need someone that truly understands OCD and how to treat it (Exposure and Cognitive Therapy). I'd also ask if they've ever treated someone with your subcategory of OCD.

I’m sorry to hear that sparklypaws! That must be so irritating to have proper help right within your grasp and feel like they don’t notice how much you really need the help. It’s kind of early for me to tell, everyone on here seems to think she isn’t going to help but I want to give her a chance you know? She’s only had one session with me so I’m going to interview her more at this next one and I’ll see from there. I talked to my father about it and he said to give it a try that maybe I can at least take something away from her that’s useful and if not we’ll find someone else. Just sucks, I really want that human contact that’s part of my problem that makes my ocd so severe at times I think. I have no. Routine. I do nothing all day, I’m trapped in the house. So I’m gonna try to get my license soon because it’s time, I’m 21 and I need to start getting out I’ve just been scared.