My suicidal OCD is making me avoid stuff i want to do, I want to make youtube videos but I am scared bacause of youtubers who have comitted suicide in the past, and agh its so scary, I get so scared that somehow I will just snap into a suicidal way and kill myself even tho I really dont want to, im just scared ill randomly suddenly become suicidal and never get better even tho i have never been suicjdal in my life and I have never ever agreed with it being the right thing to do

You will never comitt suicide. You have ocd and that’s different. You’re just scared and ruminating about it. That’s all. I had suicidal thoughts for years and i am still around

I think that one thing you can do is trusting yourself. Ocd uncertainty about doing something to yourself will first be hard, but when you still express yourself despite the doutbts, I promise you will get so much more courageous. Because you have this unpleasant feeling about those thoughts, and overall ocd, it just means that those thoughts are nothing that you would want to do! I wish you all the very best, I'm with you.

The best way to get back at OCD for trying to prevent you from doing the things you enjoy is by doing them anyways. You’re proving to it that “see! I’m doing it and the fear you’re trying to plant in my head is a lie”. Remember they are the words of a bully, an annoying person yelling things at you. But that doesn’t make it true in the slightest. Make those videos to your heart’s content and watch OCD back down

I feel this and completely understand. They are just thoughts though and we will learn to let them just float by and recognize them as just thoughts.