My father was emotionally abusive to my siblings and I as children, I can't say he's changed much. He came home yesterday just pissed off at the world, I guess, decided it was appropriate to make violent comments about our dogs to me and then go in the house and scream at my mother and sister. After my mom told him off, he acted like he was,,,apologetic but you could tell he still felt he was in the right. I have been fatigued and apathetic ever since that incident. I have so much to do. I can't move out right now because I'm just barely functional, don't even have a job. This childish behavior is normal for him. There are three of us and one of him, yet the household revolves around his fragile feelings. If we stand up to him then he stomps off to lick his wounds and feel sorry for himself, acts like a fucking child. I have been afraid of him my entire life, and it seems like the older he gets the worse he becomes. I can't leave my dogs with him, I can't leave my sister with him. My mom is like,,,,desensitized to him, almost. Last year she told him that she was considering divorcing him, and all he did was mock her and treat her like a child. He's such a piece of shit.

I totally understand this because I’ve had experience in abusive situations. I’m not sure if it’a an OCD thing or if everybody thinks like this. As long as you don’t act on your violent thoughts I believe that you aren’t dangerous (I know it’s extremely difficult considering this situation especially), but I do also think the same way in situations like this. I’m not sure if this helps but just know you’re not alone.

First, I’m sorry that you have to deal with such a situation. People don’t realize how much words hurt and how the way we act and treat each other has a rippling effect. Second, if this situation is stressing you out then your ocd is gonna act up. Evil doesn’t defeat evil, love does and this is the hard because it’s natural for us to want to lash back when we get treated wrong. Only person you can control is yourself so keep bettering yourself and not scooping you his level.

I literally cannot be in the same room as him without having just. Violent violent violent thoughts about him and it's hard to tell if they're intrusive or if I'm actually homicidal. He had a coughing fist last night in his sleep and I kind of wondered if he was choking to death. I wasn't particularly upset at the thought. I don't know. (He's fine, obv, his throat just gets sore from talking to customers all day.)

Thank ya for the encouragement and support, loves.