- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
I totally understand this because I’ve had experience in abusive situations. I’m not sure if it’a an OCD thing or if everybody thinks like this. As long as you don’t act on your violent thoughts I believe that you aren’t dangerous (I know it’s extremely difficult considering this situation especially), but I do also think the same way in situations like this. I’m not sure if this helps but just know you’re not alone.
- Date posted
- 4y
First, I’m sorry that you have to deal with such a situation. People don’t realize how much words hurt and how the way we act and treat each other has a rippling effect. Second, if this situation is stressing you out then your ocd is gonna act up. Evil doesn’t defeat evil, love does and this is the hard because it’s natural for us to want to lash back when we get treated wrong. Only person you can control is yourself so keep bettering yourself and not scooping you his level.
- Date posted
- 4y
I literally cannot be in the same room as him without having just. Violent violent violent thoughts about him and it's hard to tell if they're intrusive or if I'm actually homicidal. He had a coughing fist last night in his sleep and I kind of wondered if he was choking to death. I wasn't particularly upset at the thought. I don't know. (He's fine, obv, his throat just gets sore from talking to customers all day.)
- Date posted
- 4y
**coughing fit
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank ya for the encouragement and support, loves.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
my father was never that good of a person to begin with as he beat us when we were kids, but today as he was pissed as he was repairing tubes in the sink my cat was meowing and in the way and he got annoyed and basically kicked her away with the shin. I have moral scrupolosity ocd, and when people do something like these it irks me to the core. I tolerate my father, but after this i feel like a moral obligation to not accept him. but i physically can't, he's my father and also the only economical provider for us, i have to go to him to learn to drive and etc. i don't know. what should i do? isolating him is not an option, i just feel like i cant be friendly with him anymore. if he gets angry at me and screams i dont really care, but to do that to my cat idk.
- Date posted
- 21w
(21+ ONLY: TRIGGER WARNING) I love my dog. He just turned seven months old yesterday. But sometimes, I get so frustrated. I came home from work and I just wanted to sit down and relax and watch my favorite TV show. But then he started jumping on me, barking, and getting into things he shouldn’t be. On top of that, I was feeling lightheaded because I haven’t been taken Zoloft lately, which is completely my fault and irresponsible of me. My dog got into a laundry basket and tipped it over, spilling all the clothes on the floor and grabbing a pair of socks. I just lost it, at that point. I chased him and yelled at him and as I went to grab the socks from him, I thought about hitting him. I don’t think I did, but I don’t know. Either way, I’m truly disgusted with myself. I hate that that was my first automatic thought. What is wrong with me? I put him in his kennel for time out and I completely just lost it. I started crying and hyperventilating. I feel horrible for feeling sorry for myself when I’m not the one hurting here. I’m truly a disgusting manipulative POS that deserves to be locked away forever
- Date posted
- 16w
I corrected someone’s racist comment — he whispered it, I tried to shut it down, but he kept pushing. When I disengaged and went back to work, he started swinging his phone in my face. Later, he spiraled and assumed I had told everyone what he said. He attacked me in front of everyone, shouting in part about the rscist conversstion, calling me immature & saying i shouldnt talk to him. And no one said a thing. What hurts the most is that I’ve supported all of these people when they’ve had bad days (including when they cried at work) — but now, when I’m being publicly berated, I’m left out in the cold. I was even called immature and told I should never speak to him again. Honestly, I’m angry. I feel used. I’ve given so much, and now I’m spiraling, suppressing panic attacks daily. This happened almost a month ago, and I can’t let it go. I want to leave my job so badly, but it feels foolish to leave a “good” job because of this — and yet I feel bullied and emotionally unsafe. The reality is: This is the third time he’s shouted at me. We spoke previous times, I told him dont shout at me & apologised and I forgave him — twice. I don’t shout back. As a Black woman, I’m painfully aware of how I’ll be perceived. So I just take it. So now I just don’t greet him. He doesn’t greet me either. The silence gives me peace — but deep down, I’m spiraling because no one held him accountable. People moved on like nothing happened, and it feels like they think I’m the issue. I didn’t say anything racist. I didn’t cause this. So why was I left unprotected? Especially since they claimed they agreed with my response & that his racism was wrong. I tried to confront the bigotry ocd & protect another class of people. I got berated. My sister made a good point — this is work. These people don’t have to protect me. We’re not friends. But I’m still hurt. No more lunches. No more small talk. I’m not trying to be petty, but I’ve changed my behavior. I let him leave the office first, so if he doesn’t say goodbye, it’s clear. But on the two occasions I left early, I felt guilty for not saying bye — and now I’m spiraling about that too. I feel so alone in this. Like I’m carrying the weight of this entire situation in silence. And maybe… five years in this job is too long anyway. Someone please drag me. I have no close friends, my sister & my parents are tired of discussing this. My therapist wants me to be her & confront him or be passively aggressively mean. But I'm like this man won't react. This is the third occasion & corporate.
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