- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
I totally understand this because I’ve had experience in abusive situations. I’m not sure if it’a an OCD thing or if everybody thinks like this. As long as you don’t act on your violent thoughts I believe that you aren’t dangerous (I know it’s extremely difficult considering this situation especially), but I do also think the same way in situations like this. I’m not sure if this helps but just know you’re not alone.
- Date posted
- 4y
First, I’m sorry that you have to deal with such a situation. People don’t realize how much words hurt and how the way we act and treat each other has a rippling effect. Second, if this situation is stressing you out then your ocd is gonna act up. Evil doesn’t defeat evil, love does and this is the hard because it’s natural for us to want to lash back when we get treated wrong. Only person you can control is yourself so keep bettering yourself and not scooping you his level.
- Date posted
- 4y
I literally cannot be in the same room as him without having just. Violent violent violent thoughts about him and it's hard to tell if they're intrusive or if I'm actually homicidal. He had a coughing fist last night in his sleep and I kind of wondered if he was choking to death. I wasn't particularly upset at the thought. I don't know. (He's fine, obv, his throat just gets sore from talking to customers all day.)
- Date posted
- 4y
**coughing fit
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank ya for the encouragement and support, loves.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
Early this morning, my mom and I had a really, really long discussion. We talked about a lot, but it eventually led to me. She said that because of her past relationships, which she feels like involved some sort of power struggle, sometimes if I hug her too often, she gets uncomfortable/anxious. For context, before my parents (mom or dad) go anywhere, I'll say goodbye, I love you, and give them a quick hug or two. Even if I'm just going upstairs or walking away from a conversation! I've done this since I was little. It might've been a compulsion back then, but it's just habit now. But a couple of months ago, when I was in a really dark place due to OCD, I'd give my mom really long hugs because I just wanted comfort during that point in time. Unfortunately, it ended up stressing my mom out, and she pushed me away once and said it was weird or uncomfortable when I hugged her because it didn't feel genuine. That really hurt to be rejected like that, and then later, my sister told me my mom complained about me in the car about how it felt like I was draining the energy from her and annoying. Which... That hurt, too. But I mainly felt guilt because that wasn't my intention at all, and I've since tried my best not to hug her as often. So when she brought it up again today, she said she feels like she's experiencing a power struggle with me and that when I was younger, she said she felt like everything had to be on my terms. The context behind that is due to me being a really anxious child (and baby). I'd wake her up because I'd get really bad anxiety at night and panic, and she said it was really exhausting and that she's never known what to do with me. Then she went on to tell me really private details about my father and hers marriage (they've been divorced since I was little), and how that's affected her, and I just felt really uncomfortable. Like I want to be respect her boundaries, and I don't want to make her uncomfortable, but... I don't know what to do with all of this...? I didn't need to know those details about her and my father, and I feel really disgusting inside. And also guilty because my dad doesn't know that I know any of these things now, and I'm overwhelmed. I talked to my dad and his girlfriend about it, and I just started crying. I just feel so... Ugh :( They both comforted me, and my dad said that my mom's always struggled with physical affection and that I shouldn't take it personally. But it hurts to be rejected by a parent like that. I've tried the best I can to be understanding and supportive with her, but it just felt like she's seen me as a burden or something unfixable. If you read this far, thank you so much. I'm just really struggling to process this. I felt better after talking with my dad, but once he went to bed and I went back to my room, I just broke down.
- Date posted
- 19w
my father was never that good of a person to begin with as he beat us when we were kids, but today as he was pissed as he was repairing tubes in the sink my cat was meowing and in the way and he got annoyed and basically kicked her away with the shin. I have moral scrupolosity ocd, and when people do something like these it irks me to the core. I tolerate my father, but after this i feel like a moral obligation to not accept him. but i physically can't, he's my father and also the only economical provider for us, i have to go to him to learn to drive and etc. i don't know. what should i do? isolating him is not an option, i just feel like i cant be friendly with him anymore. if he gets angry at me and screams i dont really care, but to do that to my cat idk.
- Date posted
- 18w
(21+ ONLY: TRIGGER WARNING) I love my dog. He just turned seven months old yesterday. But sometimes, I get so frustrated. I came home from work and I just wanted to sit down and relax and watch my favorite TV show. But then he started jumping on me, barking, and getting into things he shouldn’t be. On top of that, I was feeling lightheaded because I haven’t been taken Zoloft lately, which is completely my fault and irresponsible of me. My dog got into a laundry basket and tipped it over, spilling all the clothes on the floor and grabbing a pair of socks. I just lost it, at that point. I chased him and yelled at him and as I went to grab the socks from him, I thought about hitting him. I don’t think I did, but I don’t know. Either way, I’m truly disgusted with myself. I hate that that was my first automatic thought. What is wrong with me? I put him in his kennel for time out and I completely just lost it. I started crying and hyperventilating. I feel horrible for feeling sorry for myself when I’m not the one hurting here. I’m truly a disgusting manipulative POS that deserves to be locked away forever
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