I’ve been dealing with intrusive violent images/urges/thoughts for months now. Lately it’s gotten worse. Sometimes when I see a person i automatically imagine hurting them, sometimes to see if I enjoy the thought or not, or sometimes it just appears in my head and I try to cut it off immediately. It’s like i just can not interact with people because I can’t tell if I’m a risk or not. If I’m capable of hurting them or not. I hate it because I’m all day trying to get an answer to whether I want to harm people or not. I’m constantly asking myself: have you ever desired the thought? Do you want to do it or not? And all of the above makes me feel anormal and like a psycho. And of course, another doubt comes into my head: do you really don’t want to be a bad person? And it’s a never ending disturbing and frustrating cycle... I can’t stop it, it’s driving me crazy and it makes me desperate. Is all this even normal?

Harm OCD

Carl Cornett

Date posted: 4y

Definitely normal considering you have obsessive-compulsive disorder. And yes, you’re going to ask what if it’s not OCD. I had harm thoughts for well over a decade. Close to 15 years. If you can imagine it, I’ve thought of it. No matter how disturbing or violent or horrifying, no matter who the thoughts could be about, I had them. The good news is therapy is very effective. In fact, it’s one of the most effective forms of therapy in all of mental health. If you’re not in treatment, get started. If you are in treatment, follow the plan. If you’ve been in treatment and you’re still struggling, refocus. Most of all, you’ve got to keep pushing.

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

Hey thank you so much for your answer! It makes me more relieved that an expert like you is telling me this. I honestly haven’t been diagnosed with OCD yet, but I’m pretty sure I do have it. I will try to get treatment as soon as possible, thank you so much for your help, and yes you’re right, I doubt if I have OCD lol

MMountains

Date posted: 4y

Make sure that you’re not ruminating.

MMountains

Date posted: 4y

It may not be intrusive thoughts. It may be rumination

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

Yes it must be, I’m ruminating all the time I’m trying hard to make it stop :(

Joey Gerbino

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 4y

Anonymous, I believe we’ve had dialogue numerous times now (including today on my post) and I just want to let you know that this post resonates with me because it sounds like our battles are similar. It’s both debilitating and handicapping state to be in. That said, I agree 100% with the NOCD Advocate stated above. Also, it’s eaiser said than done because I’m guilty of it as well, but make sure that you’re trying your hardest not to ruminate on anything intrusive: thoughts, images, videos, etc. Best of luck!

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

Yes we’ve replied to each other a lot of times actually lol. I think this app turned into a compulsion, I keep coming back and post stuff multiple times, I’ll try to stop it, because it only gives me temporary relief. And yes i hope what the NOCD advocate said above, it’s true, I hope it’s OCD because I haven’t been diagnosed yet. So thank you for the advice, I will try my best not to post anything and not to ruminate. Makes me relieved that I’m not in this alone, but I’m sorry that you’re going through the same thing. I wish you the best of luck too, you can cope this!

Chels0212

Date posted: 25w

Intrusive thoughts

I struggle so bad with intrusive thoughts. They can be so bad that I'll cry because I KNOW that's not how I feel or want to do. (Too embarrassed to say what they're about) I'll constantly try to figure out why I have them, and constantly figure out what they mean, causing me to constantly circle around and around. I had to get on anxeity meds, which helped a little but the thoughts still happen. How do you help yourself with this? How do you know that you're just not some physcopath? 😅

Young adults with OCD

Aphid123

Date posted: 17w

Is this even OCD?

Hey so a couple months ago (7-8) I remember being upset at my family member. Like she was talking too much while I was annoyed and remember wanting her to be quiet. I got an intrusive thought like a really bad image of doing something really bad to her, and my hand twitched to the side a little? Like it felt like I was about to?! And I remembered thinking "if I do this, I'll get in trouble". I got up and left to the bathroom and felt horrified! I was thinking "did I want to act out? Did the only reason I didn't act out was because of getting in trouble? If there was no consequences, would have I done it?! Does this mean this whole time I've been using OCD as an excuse?" I remember I couldn't sleep for 3 nights because of how bad the anxiety was, I was crying and I felt very guilty like I should turn myself in to a mental hospital. I couldn't eat for many days or be near her because of that thought and twitch I had! I'm worried it was an impulse or I actually wanted to hurt her. And even to this day I still ruminanate about this. Like last night I couldn't sleep well I kept waking up every two hours and asking myself "am I capable?" I couldn't eat last night. Sometimes I move on from it like I forget that happened but when I remember, I feel distressed about it! I don't want to be an evil person or do bad actions towards anyone! I'm even scared to be angry because of this because I'm scared I have more "chance" of acting out due to anger. Like was it an impulse and I held back? Is this even OCD? Please help, I'm really scared!

joshuadrennen

Date posted: 15w

struggling with harm OCD

i’m back in a cycle of having harm related OCD thoughts and feelings and urges and i get these episodes where it’s like i’m disassociating and feel like i’m about to snap and go crazy violent. does anyone else experience this? i need help

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