- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Trust me Lou Lou, once you get to university the majority of these people won’t matter. You make your true friends at university and the rest fall flat. I would ignore all of these people and focus on getting sick grades, getting into an amazing campus uni and moving there, you won’t regret it, it’s the best time of my life!!!
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you for that!! That is such good advice, and that’s exactly what I’ve been doing. I work really hard and I desperately want to get into a good university! Some of my teachers have asked me if I’d be thinking about oxbridge, but I doubt I’ll get the grades to get in and it doesn’t seem like a good place to make friends... and it’s a heavy workload. You’re definitely right! Thank you!
- Date posted
- 4y
@Lou Lou Have you looked at Royal Holloway? It’s a beautiful campus university which I went to, very good and well respected. It’s in Surrey. I met the most amazing people there, honestly I nearly remember my six form “friends” because you change so much at uni and learn and develop and join societies with people who genuinely have the same things in common with you. Trust me. This part of your life is like this, some friends come and go. If you need friend time then don’t be afraid to reach out to them and arrange things... if it isn’t reciprocated then that’s fine because you know you’re end goal is uni and moving forward. You’ve also done amazing at challenging your OCD and as you get older the more it will actually be your super power, you’re mature, you’ve learnt so much about yourself already and you’re going to be such a compassionate young lady. Hang in there Lou Lou, you are so brave and bright!
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
People that don’t make time for you or appreciate you are not worth your worry or time. I think a lot of people experience this when changing from school to college. I definitely did but then I eventually found real friends who never made me question our friendship. Having lots of friends is overrated so maybe just focus on the friend you love. Maybe look on the app Meetup to find people outside of your place of education also ☺️
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you!! I’ll definitely look into this❤️
- Date posted
- 4y
You could bring it up to them and let them know how you feel
- Date posted
- 4y
Either that or make plans with One of your acquaintances and try to merge in to their group
- Date posted
- 4y
Yeah, It’s not really an issue with my immediate friends. I just want more friends in general, and I never want to intrude on someone so I’m waiting on them to approach me to ask me to do stuff with them, if that makes sense Thanks so much for the response!!!
- Date posted
- 4y
I’m almost 20 and I can safely tell you that I used to have the same fear. I still do. I always make the plans invite people out but I sort of realized that that’s just because I’m willing to make that effort. And I believe so are you and that’s a really good thing. Trust me at some point your friends will see it and appreciate it and you and will start to make plans yourself. There is nothing wrong with making an effort but if this really weighs you down you can always talk to your friends about it and tell them how you’re really feeling. And you’re not repulsive be kind to yourself you’re amazing and u got this
- Date posted
- 4y
Yeah, I feel you on that. Thank you for the advice!! Sending you love ❤️
- Date posted
- 4y
tell your parents to allow you to see a therapist. It will help
- Date posted
- 4y
People really gave some good advice on this form. Im glad and hope you meet lots of good people soon :)
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
This isn't OCD related at all, not even a little, and I'm really sorry, but I feel so panicked and overwhelmed right now and I need an outlet. So basically, I have this friend and we met online shortly after Christmas, not irl. We got on really well. I felt like I could tell them anything. Whenever I felt sad (which was quite often) they would help so much by just being there for me. Sending cute and reassuring tiktoks to me. I felt like they were the nicest ever. I told them stuff other people might judge me for. They never judged me and they never seemed judgemental. I started noticing some things, like their reposts on Tiktok. I noticed years ago they reposted something very anti LGBTQ+. It hurt, I couldn't understand it. I asked them about it, and they didn't exactly seem like they did hate LGBTQ+ people. I moved on, still unsure. I found recently they reposted something else. I wasn't sure whether this was super offensive, but the tone of the original post FELT offensive. I have a strong moral compass, and these things got to me so much because I'm attached to this person. And then today, I find another thing they reposted, this time about immigration. It had a strong racist tone. I know now that I need to cut them off. I don't want people like that in my life. It's one thing having different views, but I firmly stand by the idea that you should agree with those around you about things like this. But I'm so distressed. I feel so attached to them. None of this seems like them at all. They seem like such a kind, non judgemental person. I would sit waiting for their text. I would feel so happy to hear from them. We text non stop. We have loads in common. They never judged me. I thought I finally found someone who actually wanted to be my friend, who actually liked me. I'm going to feel empty and numb, and I'm trying not to cry while writing this. Who will I have? Nobody to expect a text from. Nobody to ask about my day. Nobody to send me cute pictures to cheer me up. I actually feel like I'll never get past this. I feel so lonely all the time and they were there for me when no one else was. I feel so numb and I'm terrified. Sorry again that this isn't OCD related. I just didn't know what to do.
- Date posted
- 22w
This isn’t OCD related so I’m sorry, but I don’t know another platform like this where I can talk to other people and actually get responses. OCD has been a huge fucking setback for me in life. I had to drop classes, wasn’t able to do things, and just felt so shitty all the time because of it. I feel like I blame OCD for everything I’m not. I constantly feel like I’m not good enough. Just today I saw someone I once knew and felt all of those feelings I used to have that made me miserable. Anyways, I tried taking my driver’s test a couple days ago but I wasn’t able to. The DMV only accepted cash. I felt upset but it was whatever. I’m almost 19, and I don’t have a driver’s license. So passing it would mean a lot to me. I compare myself to others my age; they have cars, hobbies, friends, go to college, etc… I don’t have any of that. Maybe comparing myself and all of that is my fault. My family says it’s my fault I’m sad because I just wallow in it. Hearing them say that makes me frustrated and hurt, but maybe they’re right. My mom texted a couple of my siblings in a group chat I wasn’t a part of, “He wants to wallow and be depressed. And woe is me, wah wah wah.” That made me really angry because my siblings were agreeing with her. Maybe they are right. Maybe I am selfish and think the world revolves around me. My sister tells me I need to advocate for myself more, I just don’t want to be a burden. I’ve only been a burden my whole life. My OCD created this whole issue in my family and I hate that. I don’t know what to do anymore. I just want an answer. Am I really a loser? Do I really wallow in it? Am I not trying like my family says? I just want to talk to someone.
- Date posted
- 17w
First off - I’m sorry, I post here a lot. My thoughts are going to be scattered because I have the adhd/ocd/executive dysfunction wombo combo. Im so embarrassed I am THIS neurodivergent. I swear my brain couldn’t pick one struggle and settle with it. I’m not making these diagnoses quirky personality traits by any means, in fact, in this post im venting about how exhausting and embarassed I am living with a brain like this on the daily. I need to hear someone’s advice please. I love hearing everyone’s advice on posts because it’s so useful, and brings me back down to reality. Everyone on here gives advice so tastefully in a way where it doesn’t feed into the self reassurance compulsion, but it’s also been thorough and constructive enough where it’s reminded me to ground myself in a healthy way. I love seeing others helping others, it soothes me. This community has been so kind, and I’m so happy I found it. I wish I could ask more, but I have so many questions I think it’d drive everyone here crazy lol. I am doing erp therapy now, and it’s been teaching me so many amazing techniques. I’ve been making progress. However, I sometimes have my moments of vunerablity. I’ve been experiencing this especially now more than ever because I am going through a breakup. He did it through text after nearly 9 months together. I’d do anything for him and love him through anything, and he broke my heart when I least expected it. I’d make his bed for him multiple times, but I haven’t done that for myself in years. I’d sit with him for hours to watch and do anything he likes, but he’d never do the same and I’d never do the same for me. I’m also at fault because I was too scared to speak up so I let a lot of disrespect slide. Why did my ocd do that? Why does ocd make me people please even when I don’t want to? Why does OCD make me care so much about things that will never effect me (like wanting validation from a random person on the street and hoping they’ll think I’m pretty enough to look at), but then when it comes to my future or positive wellbeing (like focusing on college/doing well in classes/personal hygiene/health), forces me to not care/neglect myself and those needs? I don’t understand it. Ocd makes me think everything’s a setup or a trap. I can never believe that I am fine right where I want to be. Why am I so hard on myself? Why do I even think this much? I care and feel so deeply but it becomes unhealthy so fast because ocd makes me fixate and I stay there for a while. For some reason I let this breakup define my self worth. I let it topple into the ocd fear that I will never make it in life - that I won’t be successful, I’ll never get the career I want, the love I want, or the life I want. My OCD’s version of “logic” isn’t even logical. Yes, I understand how the breakup means feelings of low self worth which will then topple into feeling bad about other things. But why has my brain been wired to think this way? Why does it seem so easy for everyone else to function normally with life but not me? Honestly this is the first time in my life where I’m dedicated to focusing on myself and learning more about myself instead of others in my life and it’s a very odd and bizarre feeling. I’m excited of course, but I’m also scared. My ocd makes me ruminate like “what if I will never make the most of this life I’ve been given”, “what if I truly have no worth and the most I will ever be in other people’s lives is a background character”, “why do I care if I’m a background character or not? I should feel guilty and ignorant for assuming everyone will automatically like me”, “are people lying to me when they call me pretty, smart or kind?”, “I need to look and sound perfect in both pictures, videos and in real life. I will never be satisfied for accepting who I am now”, and a bunch of other annoying questions. But sometimes it’s like I just can’t take the reality for what it is but at the same time, but I also acknowledge that I know this is ocd talking. This is so, so difficult. Do I make any sense with what I’m saying? Can anyone help?
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