Hey, just looking for some none-OCD advice, as at the moment I don’t really have anyone to talk to. I’m gonna try and keep it short, so I don’t bore you! So, I’m from England, and I’m 16. At 16 in the UK, you go from high school to 6th form, where you spend two years doing something called your ‘A levels’, and then you go to university at 18, like all countries. I’ve been in college for 8 months now, but I’d say 65-70% of my time has been spent online - so I’ve only had a relatively small amount of time to make true friends. I had solid friends throughout high school, and I say I tilt quite a lot towards being an extravert. Ever since coming to 6th form, a lot of the people who I was friends with, went to a different school, and some of the people who were acquaintances I barely see now, because the school is so large. Basically, since coming to college I only have 2 true friends, and one of those has basically separated herself from me (she’s a bit of a bitch, but that’s another story - we’ve basically been best friends since we were 4 but she routinely ditches me) I’ve found that no one ever messages me anymore. I’ve got plans to go to the city with me and 3 other girls next Sunday - but I organised it. They were all excited, but I’ve only been invited out once by one of my other friends. I just feel like no one likes me, and that I’m repulsive to people - I know it’s irrational, but the fear that I’m just unlikeable terrifies me, as I want nothing more than a big group of friends and that’s not what I have at the minute. I’m desperate for someone to be like “hey, Ellie do you wanna come and sit with us”, but they don’t. And I’m usually just sat with one of my close friends, who I love. She’s popular, and people like her more than me but she’s self-admittedly introverted and I’m not. Ugh, this is long now. But does anyone have any advice? I’ve made a lot of acquaintances, but they all have their own friendship groups from high school - but I don’t because a lot of my friends went to a different school. I’m miserable because of this at the moment, and I feel worthless.

First off - I’m sorry, I post here a lot. My thoughts are going to be scattered because I have the adhd/ocd/executive dysfunction wombo combo. Im so embarrassed I am THIS neurodivergent. I swear my brain couldn’t pick one struggle and settle with it. I’m not making these diagnoses quirky personality traits by any means, in fact, in this post im venting about how exhausting and embarassed I am living with a brain like this on the daily. I need to hear someone’s advice please. I love hearing everyone’s advice on posts because it’s so useful, and brings me back down to reality. Everyone on here gives advice so tastefully in a way where it doesn’t feed into the self reassurance compulsion, but it’s also been thorough and constructive enough where it’s reminded me to ground myself in a healthy way. I love seeing others helping others, it soothes me. This community has been so kind, and I’m so happy I found it. I wish I could ask more, but I have so many questions I think it’d drive everyone here crazy lol. I am doing erp therapy now, and it’s been teaching me so many amazing techniques. I’ve been making progress. However, I sometimes have my moments of vunerablity. I’ve been experiencing this especially now more than ever because I am going through a breakup. He did it through text after nearly 9 months together. I’d do anything for him and love him through anything, and he broke my heart when I least expected it. I’d make his bed for him multiple times, but I haven’t done that for myself in years. I’d sit with him for hours to watch and do anything he likes, but he’d never do the same and I’d never do the same for me. I’m also at fault because I was too scared to speak up so I let a lot of disrespect slide. Why did my ocd do that? Why does ocd make me people please even when I don’t want to? Why does OCD make me care so much about things that will never effect me (like wanting validation from a random person on the street and hoping they’ll think I’m pretty enough to look at), but then when it comes to my future or positive wellbeing (like focusing on college/doing well in classes/personal hygiene/health), forces me to not care/neglect myself and those needs? I don’t understand it. Ocd makes me think everything’s a setup or a trap. I can never believe that I am fine right where I want to be. Why am I so hard on myself? Why do I even think this much? I care and feel so deeply but it becomes unhealthy so fast because ocd makes me fixate and I stay there for a while. For some reason I let this breakup define my self worth. I let it topple into the ocd fear that I will never make it in life - that I won’t be successful, I’ll never get the career I want, the love I want, or the life I want. My OCD’s version of “logic” isn’t even logical. Yes, I understand how the breakup means feelings of low self worth which will then topple into feeling bad about other things. But why has my brain been wired to think this way? Why does it seem so easy for everyone else to function normally with life but not me? Honestly this is the first time in my life where I’m dedicated to focusing on myself and learning more about myself instead of others in my life and it’s a very odd and bizarre feeling. I’m excited of course, but I’m also scared. My ocd makes me ruminate like “what if I will never make the most of this life I’ve been given”, “what if I truly have no worth and the most I will ever be in other people’s lives is a background character”, “why do I care if I’m a background character or not? I should feel guilty and ignorant for assuming everyone will automatically like me”, “are people lying to me when they call me pretty, smart or kind?”, “I need to look and sound perfect in both pictures, videos and in real life. I will never be satisfied for accepting who I am now”, and a bunch of other annoying questions. But sometimes it’s like I just can’t take the reality for what it is but at the same time, but I also acknowledge that I know this is ocd talking. This is so, so difficult. Do I make any sense with what I’m saying? Can anyone help?

I’ve posted this under a comment before, but if anyone has the time to read it and maybe share their experience or tips with me, I would really appreciate it. This is just kind of the reason why Idk if I only have OCD or if I should get checked for BPD aswell as emotional dependency is (as far as I know) not a common symptom of OCD and neither are excessive changes in emotions/moods. I think the worst part my situation is that one of my biggest and most damaging if not destructive obsessions I developed earlier this year was this constant fear that my friend would lie to me about meeting up with a boy she liked (we are both girls and queer, she didn’t know that about me until recently, but I’ve known that she is and we both sort of crushed on each other). Not just lie, but do it behind my back, keep it a secret, and then maybe even end our friendship without saying anything. And the thing is... that basically happened. Two weeks ago she started acting strange one day out of nowhere, and then I found out (through another friend) that he was coming over to her place. We had already talked about this before, I had cried in front of her and confessed how much it hurt me. I know doing that probably wasn’t the healthiest thing, but my emotions completely overwhelmed me in that moment. And even though nothing physical happened between them, it still felt like a betrayal. I’m not saying it was cheating, obviously not, we’re not in a relationship and it is unfair of me to try and tell her who or not to date, but it still hurts. Especially as weeks ago, we already had a detailed conversation about this. She told me she didn’t actually like him that much, and that if they were going to meet again, she’d be honest with me about it. But instead of being honest that day, she said nothing. Worse, she suddenly stopped talking to me, which made me think I had done something wrong so I completely lost my mind. She knows I’m emotionally dependent on her to some extent, so when she goes cold or distant, I spiral. And that day, I saw them talking and going quiet as I walked by, and then she literally turned to walk into a different direction. I don’t know why but it just crushed me. I thought she was mad at me, and I just felt like I was being shut out and lied to. And as I’ve mentioned, later that day, after eight hours of crying, another friend told me what really happened. She even drove me to her place so we could talk. We did talk, but since then, we haven’t had any contact. And it’s driving me absolutely insane. She told me it would be “people-pleasing” if she didn’t try to date him. And I know she’s kind of right, but she still lied to me. She didn’t care if that meant that she would throw away our friendship, or at least she treated it like it was worth less than a potential (!) relationship with a guy who, as far as I know, didn’t even respond when she told him she had feelings for him. It’s honestly devastating. I feel betrayed, discarded, and totally lost and I know I can’t even logically be mad at her as the reason she didn’t tell me is obvious and as a good friend I should just be happy for her, but my emotional side is so much stronger than my logic.

From 2 months I realised I had OCD mix of alot of intrusive thoughts for the first time everything been so bad in my life since then but Thank god after taking medication it gone much better but after 2 months i have been struggling in my life in some way and i couldn't connect to the people around me because sometimes i become more anxious then I started playing a game consists of group of friends answering questions of different things movies quotes anyhting and i started to talk to them and after time i made group of friends and i was the leader 4 boys and 4 girls they were so funny and really respectful they matched my energy so well especially a boy there and after time i started falling for him more and getting attached to them more and if someone at home knows about this they will be so mad at me because I don't know them and it's wrong behavior to talk or play that lots of time with people you don't know But I can't stop talking to them they make me feel like all my intrusive thoughts calm down and the moment I feel like i need to leave them i feel stressed or anxious and my intrusive thoughts gets bigger I got so much attached to them and that boy and it Hurts and especially that boy seems like he likes someone from the team and I shouldn't have been attracted to him in the first place I feel so lost and idk what to do my OCD been severe these days I don't wanna cut them but I should cut them...!