Hey, just looking for some none-OCD advice, as at the moment I don’t really have anyone to talk to. I’m gonna try and keep it short, so I don’t bore you! So, I’m from England, and I’m 16. At 16 in the UK, you go from high school to 6th form, where you spend two years doing something called your ‘A levels’, and then you go to university at 18, like all countries. I’ve been in college for 8 months now, but I’d say 65-70% of my time has been spent online - so I’ve only had a relatively small amount of time to make true friends. I had solid friends throughout high school, and I say I tilt quite a lot towards being an extravert. Ever since coming to 6th form, a lot of the people who I was friends with, went to a different school, and some of the people who were acquaintances I barely see now, because the school is so large. Basically, since coming to college I only have 2 true friends, and one of those has basically separated herself from me (she’s a bit of a bitch, but that’s another story - we’ve basically been best friends since we were 4 but she routinely ditches me) I’ve found that no one ever messages me anymore. I’ve got plans to go to the city with me and 3 other girls next Sunday - but I organised it. They were all excited, but I’ve only been invited out once by one of my other friends. I just feel like no one likes me, and that I’m repulsive to people - I know it’s irrational, but the fear that I’m just unlikeable terrifies me, as I want nothing more than a big group of friends and that’s not what I have at the minute. I’m desperate for someone to be like “hey, Ellie do you wanna come and sit with us”, but they don’t. And I’m usually just sat with one of my close friends, who I love. She’s popular, and people like her more than me but she’s self-admittedly introverted and I’m not. Ugh, this is long now. But does anyone have any advice? I’ve made a lot of acquaintances, but they all have their own friendship groups from high school - but I don’t because a lot of my friends went to a different school. I’m miserable because of this at the moment, and I feel worthless.

Username: marczay95marczay95

Date posted: 3y ago

Trust me Lou Lou, once you get to university the majority of these people won’t matter. You make your true friends at university and the rest fall flat. I would ignore all of these people and focus on getting sick grades, getting into an amazing campus uni and moving there, you won’t regret it, it’s the best time of my life!!!

Username: Faye JuneFaye June

Date posted: 3y ago

Thank you for that!! That is such good advice, and that’s exactly what I’ve been doing. I work really hard and I desperately want to get into a good university! Some of my teachers have asked me if I’d be thinking about oxbridge, but I doubt I’ll get the grades to get in and it doesn’t seem like a good place to make friends... and it’s a heavy workload. You’re definitely right! Thank you!

Username: marczay95marczay95

Date posted: 3y ago

@Lou Lou Have you looked at Royal Holloway? It’s a beautiful campus university which I went to, very good and well respected. It’s in Surrey. I met the most amazing people there, honestly I nearly remember my six form “friends” because you change so much at uni and learn and develop and join societies with people who genuinely have the same things in common with you. Trust me. This part of your life is like this, some friends come and go. If you need friend time then don’t be afraid to reach out to them and arrange things... if it isn’t reciprocated then that’s fine because you know you’re end goal is uni and moving forward. You’ve also done amazing at challenging your OCD and as you get older the more it will actually be your super power, you’re mature, you’ve learnt so much about yourself already and you’re going to be such a compassionate young lady. Hang in there Lou Lou, you are so brave and bright!

Username: ClemClem

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y ago

People that don’t make time for you or appreciate you are not worth your worry or time. I think a lot of people experience this when changing from school to college. I definitely did but then I eventually found real friends who never made me question our friendship. Having lots of friends is overrated so maybe just focus on the friend you love. Maybe look on the app Meetup to find people outside of your place of education also ☺️

Username: Faye JuneFaye June

Date posted: 3y ago

Thank you!! I’ll definitely look into this❤️

Username: Gosu123Gosu123

Date posted: 3y ago

You could bring it up to them and let them know how you feel

Username: Gosu123Gosu123

Date posted: 3y ago

Either that or make plans with One of your acquaintances and try to merge in to their group

Username: Faye JuneFaye June

Date posted: 3y ago

Yeah, It’s not really an issue with my immediate friends. I just want more friends in general, and I never want to intrude on someone so I’m waiting on them to approach me to ask me to do stuff with them, if that makes sense Thanks so much for the response!!!

Username: riiiiriiii

Date posted: 3y ago

I’m almost 20 and I can safely tell you that I used to have the same fear. I still do. I always make the plans invite people out but I sort of realized that that’s just because I’m willing to make that effort. And I believe so are you and that’s a really good thing. Trust me at some point your friends will see it and appreciate it and you and will start to make plans yourself. There is nothing wrong with making an effort but if this really weighs you down you can always talk to your friends about it and tell them how you’re really feeling. And you’re not repulsive be kind to yourself you’re amazing and u got this

Username: Faye JuneFaye June

Date posted: 3y ago

Yeah, I feel you on that. Thank you for the advice!! Sending you love ❤️

Username: 1$trengtH1$trengtH

Date posted: 3y ago

tell your parents to allow you to see a therapist. It will help

Username: Coul.CCoul.C

Date posted: 3y ago

People really gave some good advice on this form. Im glad and hope you meet lots of good people soon :)

Username: I eat boys

Date posted: 4y ago

Unrelated to OCD, I just want to go off for a couple of sentences: I have no friends or any memories to look back on. Never been on a date or had someone who cared about me. I’m tired of being alone, it’s one of the reasons that I have so many mental health issues. I have always had no friends. Never been out or anything. I’m tired of this loneliness and I’m almost 20, I can’t make anymore friends because it’s not the same when you’re an adult. That’s all.

Username: Kara B

Date posted: 1y ago

This doesn't have anything to do with OCD

I’m 14 and I really started liking this guy, so I told him how I felt and asked if he felt the same, he told me that one of his friends asked him to be her boyfriend over the weekend. I'm crying alone in my bathroom rn, I can't go to my mom because she’ll be upset that I put myself out there. I don't have any friends my age that I really click with or feel safe with. I'm feeling so alone, no one really likes me at school and I sit alone at lunch and break. I just want a friend I can really trust and be myself with but I've looked everywhere and I can't find one. I feel so alone

Username: Lucywilefire

Date posted: 1y ago

Does everyone hate me

I have really terrible ocd over whether everyone hates me. I had a convo with one of my friends (he was initially interested but we just kind of became friends.) He said guys tend to like girls pics when the girl is pretty. He was initially interested in me. I know i sound really bitchy and superficial but I have really low self worth and the ocd isn't helping and I'm kind of hyperfixatijg on my face. I have this insecurity about being south asian. I've been told fairly often that I'm conventionally attractive and can certainly attract people. I'm also like super introverted and have a pretty odd personality for context like in high school people didn't like me because I wasn't like extremely liberal and people were politically correct I just tend to be odd and I feel like that's not acceptable if you're a girl. So I feel everyone just secretly hates me or I'm ugly and these are the two options.

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