Hey, just looking for some none-OCD advice, as at the moment I don’t really have anyone to talk to. I’m gonna try and keep it short, so I don’t bore you! So, I’m from England, and I’m 16. At 16 in the UK, you go from high school to 6th form, where you spend two years doing something called your ‘A levels’, and then you go to university at 18, like all countries. I’ve been in college for 8 months now, but I’d say 65-70% of my time has been spent online - so I’ve only had a relatively small amount of time to make true friends. I had solid friends throughout high school, and I say I tilt quite a lot towards being an extravert. Ever since coming to 6th form, a lot of the people who I was friends with, went to a different school, and some of the people who were acquaintances I barely see now, because the school is so large. Basically, since coming to college I only have 2 true friends, and one of those has basically separated herself from me (she’s a bit of a bitch, but that’s another story - we’ve basically been best friends since we were 4 but she routinely ditches me) I’ve found that no one ever messages me anymore. I’ve got plans to go to the city with me and 3 other girls next Sunday - but I organised it. They were all excited, but I’ve only been invited out once by one of my other friends. I just feel like no one likes me, and that I’m repulsive to people - I know it’s irrational, but the fear that I’m just unlikeable terrifies me, as I want nothing more than a big group of friends and that’s not what I have at the minute. I’m desperate for someone to be like “hey, Ellie do you wanna come and sit with us”, but they don’t. And I’m usually just sat with one of my close friends, who I love. She’s popular, and people like her more than me but she’s self-admittedly introverted and I’m not. Ugh, this is long now. But does anyone have any advice? I’ve made a lot of acquaintances, but they all have their own friendship groups from high school - but I don’t because a lot of my friends went to a different school. I’m miserable because of this at the moment, and I feel worthless.

marczay95

Date posted: 4y

Trust me Lou Lou, once you get to university the majority of these people won’t matter. You make your true friends at university and the rest fall flat. I would ignore all of these people and focus on getting sick grades, getting into an amazing campus uni and moving there, you won’t regret it, it’s the best time of my life!!!

Faye June

Date posted: 4y

Thank you for that!! That is such good advice, and that’s exactly what I’ve been doing. I work really hard and I desperately want to get into a good university! Some of my teachers have asked me if I’d be thinking about oxbridge, but I doubt I’ll get the grades to get in and it doesn’t seem like a good place to make friends... and it’s a heavy workload. You’re definitely right! Thank you!

marczay95

Date posted: 4y

@Lou Lou Have you looked at Royal Holloway? It’s a beautiful campus university which I went to, very good and well respected. It’s in Surrey. I met the most amazing people there, honestly I nearly remember my six form “friends” because you change so much at uni and learn and develop and join societies with people who genuinely have the same things in common with you. Trust me. This part of your life is like this, some friends come and go. If you need friend time then don’t be afraid to reach out to them and arrange things... if it isn’t reciprocated then that’s fine because you know you’re end goal is uni and moving forward. You’ve also done amazing at challenging your OCD and as you get older the more it will actually be your super power, you’re mature, you’ve learnt so much about yourself already and you’re going to be such a compassionate young lady. Hang in there Lou Lou, you are so brave and bright!

Clem

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 4y

People that don’t make time for you or appreciate you are not worth your worry or time. I think a lot of people experience this when changing from school to college. I definitely did but then I eventually found real friends who never made me question our friendship. Having lots of friends is overrated so maybe just focus on the friend you love. Maybe look on the app Meetup to find people outside of your place of education also ☺️

Faye June

Date posted: 4y

Thank you!! I’ll definitely look into this❤️

Gosu123

Date posted: 4y

You could bring it up to them and let them know how you feel

Gosu123

Date posted: 4y

Either that or make plans with One of your acquaintances and try to merge in to their group

Faye June

Date posted: 4y

Yeah, It’s not really an issue with my immediate friends. I just want more friends in general, and I never want to intrude on someone so I’m waiting on them to approach me to ask me to do stuff with them, if that makes sense Thanks so much for the response!!!

riiii

Date posted: 4y

I’m almost 20 and I can safely tell you that I used to have the same fear. I still do. I always make the plans invite people out but I sort of realized that that’s just because I’m willing to make that effort. And I believe so are you and that’s a really good thing. Trust me at some point your friends will see it and appreciate it and you and will start to make plans yourself. There is nothing wrong with making an effort but if this really weighs you down you can always talk to your friends about it and tell them how you’re really feeling. And you’re not repulsive be kind to yourself you’re amazing and u got this

Faye June

Date posted: 4y

Yeah, I feel you on that. Thank you for the advice!! Sending you love ❤️

1$trengtH

Date posted: 4y

tell your parents to allow you to see a therapist. It will help

Coul.C

Date posted: 4y

People really gave some good advice on this form. Im glad and hope you meet lots of good people soon :)

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