- Username
- Faye June
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Trust me Lou Lou, once you get to university the majority of these people won’t matter. You make your true friends at university and the rest fall flat. I would ignore all of these people and focus on getting sick grades, getting into an amazing campus uni and moving there, you won’t regret it, it’s the best time of my life!!!
Thank you for that!! That is such good advice, and that’s exactly what I’ve been doing. I work really hard and I desperately want to get into a good university! Some of my teachers have asked me if I’d be thinking about oxbridge, but I doubt I’ll get the grades to get in and it doesn’t seem like a good place to make friends... and it’s a heavy workload. You’re definitely right! Thank you!
@Lou Lou Have you looked at Royal Holloway? It’s a beautiful campus university which I went to, very good and well respected. It’s in Surrey. I met the most amazing people there, honestly I nearly remember my six form “friends” because you change so much at uni and learn and develop and join societies with people who genuinely have the same things in common with you. Trust me. This part of your life is like this, some friends come and go. If you need friend time then don’t be afraid to reach out to them and arrange things... if it isn’t reciprocated then that’s fine because you know you’re end goal is uni and moving forward. You’ve also done amazing at challenging your OCD and as you get older the more it will actually be your super power, you’re mature, you’ve learnt so much about yourself already and you’re going to be such a compassionate young lady. Hang in there Lou Lou, you are so brave and bright!
People that don’t make time for you or appreciate you are not worth your worry or time. I think a lot of people experience this when changing from school to college. I definitely did but then I eventually found real friends who never made me question our friendship. Having lots of friends is overrated so maybe just focus on the friend you love. Maybe look on the app Meetup to find people outside of your place of education also ☺️
Thank you!! I’ll definitely look into this❤️
You could bring it up to them and let them know how you feel
Either that or make plans with One of your acquaintances and try to merge in to their group
Yeah, It’s not really an issue with my immediate friends. I just want more friends in general, and I never want to intrude on someone so I’m waiting on them to approach me to ask me to do stuff with them, if that makes sense Thanks so much for the response!!!
I’m almost 20 and I can safely tell you that I used to have the same fear. I still do. I always make the plans invite people out but I sort of realized that that’s just because I’m willing to make that effort. And I believe so are you and that’s a really good thing. Trust me at some point your friends will see it and appreciate it and you and will start to make plans yourself. There is nothing wrong with making an effort but if this really weighs you down you can always talk to your friends about it and tell them how you’re really feeling. And you’re not repulsive be kind to yourself you’re amazing and u got this
Yeah, I feel you on that. Thank you for the advice!! Sending you love ❤️
tell your parents to allow you to see a therapist. It will help
People really gave some good advice on this form. Im glad and hope you meet lots of good people soon :)
I’m 14 and I really started liking this guy, so I told him how I felt and asked if he felt the same, he told me that one of his friends asked him to be her boyfriend over the weekend. I'm crying alone in my bathroom rn, I can't go to my mom because she’ll be upset that I put myself out there. I don't have any friends my age that I really click with or feel safe with. I'm feeling so alone, no one really likes me at school and I sit alone at lunch and break. I just want a friend I can really trust and be myself with but I've looked everywhere and I can't find one. I feel so alone
Recently i’ve been feeling lonely. My bf moved away to finish his last semester of college, and i’ve been struggling to make friends at my college. I can make “in class friends” but it’s hard for me to further those relationships bc idk, i think i overthink asking people to hangout? i’m so afraid of rejection, and in my major everyone knows everyone so it feels like one wrong step and no one will like you. But because of that i don’t think i’m even taking a step. My childhood friends have dwindled down to three lovely people but they all live far away, so i’m desperately wanting to make friends i have common interests with and i can do stuff with, on a whim just bc we’re in the same city. I really don’t know what to do, and i don’t want to spend the other half of my college years cooped up in my apartment by myself. Any advice on how you’ve made friends and how to hangout with them is greatly appreciated 💜
I posted about this yesterday but I feel like I’m in an extremely obsessive cycle right now. So basically I started college and moved into dorms. My roommate and I were cool at first then began to experience some issues. Mainly codependency on both ends. So I pulled back to regain control of my emotions and also to make better decisions since I don’t want codependent friendship. I did this with the help and guidance of my therapist. I have also been in therapy for almost two years. So today, my friend seems bothered in class bc she has her nursing cohort in class and Idk if she wanted to go talk to them rather than me or what she wanted to do but she usually says bye to me after class and she just got up and left. Which was odd to me. She then was super silent later in when she got home to the dorms so I asked if wverhtbing was ok she said yeah and said she had a headache. While that may be true she hadn’t been quiet toward me or like that in the past. So anyways I’ve been in an obsessive cycle of trying to “find answers” as to what’s wrong with me and why I struggled in friendship my whole life. Why I’ve chosen some unkind friends before. I have searched the internet up and down trying to figure out what is “wrong with me” and see if I’m unliksble or if there’s traits that need “fixing” so I can be liked better. This also enables me to go into perfectionist mode and remind myself of all the flaws I have and try to fix them. It’s exhausting and tiring. I’ve done some major work on myself in therapy these past two years and have actually made drastic changes, yet I still sometimes feel like why haven’t I mad decent good friends, and why am I feeling like a bad person all the time even when I’ve improved a lot of things. Any advice. Is this a compulsion?? I feel like it is bc my brain freaken hurts and I feel like I am looping. I got home around 4:30 today and have been on the intnernt for four hours searching smh.
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