- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Trust me Lou Lou, once you get to university the majority of these people won’t matter. You make your true friends at university and the rest fall flat. I would ignore all of these people and focus on getting sick grades, getting into an amazing campus uni and moving there, you won’t regret it, it’s the best time of my life!!!
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you for that!! That is such good advice, and that’s exactly what I’ve been doing. I work really hard and I desperately want to get into a good university! Some of my teachers have asked me if I’d be thinking about oxbridge, but I doubt I’ll get the grades to get in and it doesn’t seem like a good place to make friends... and it’s a heavy workload. You’re definitely right! Thank you!
- Date posted
- 4y
@Lou Lou Have you looked at Royal Holloway? It’s a beautiful campus university which I went to, very good and well respected. It’s in Surrey. I met the most amazing people there, honestly I nearly remember my six form “friends” because you change so much at uni and learn and develop and join societies with people who genuinely have the same things in common with you. Trust me. This part of your life is like this, some friends come and go. If you need friend time then don’t be afraid to reach out to them and arrange things... if it isn’t reciprocated then that’s fine because you know you’re end goal is uni and moving forward. You’ve also done amazing at challenging your OCD and as you get older the more it will actually be your super power, you’re mature, you’ve learnt so much about yourself already and you’re going to be such a compassionate young lady. Hang in there Lou Lou, you are so brave and bright!
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
People that don’t make time for you or appreciate you are not worth your worry or time. I think a lot of people experience this when changing from school to college. I definitely did but then I eventually found real friends who never made me question our friendship. Having lots of friends is overrated so maybe just focus on the friend you love. Maybe look on the app Meetup to find people outside of your place of education also ☺️
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- 4y
Thank you!! I’ll definitely look into this❤️
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- 4y
You could bring it up to them and let them know how you feel
- Date posted
- 4y
Either that or make plans with One of your acquaintances and try to merge in to their group
- Date posted
- 4y
Yeah, It’s not really an issue with my immediate friends. I just want more friends in general, and I never want to intrude on someone so I’m waiting on them to approach me to ask me to do stuff with them, if that makes sense Thanks so much for the response!!!
- Date posted
- 4y
I’m almost 20 and I can safely tell you that I used to have the same fear. I still do. I always make the plans invite people out but I sort of realized that that’s just because I’m willing to make that effort. And I believe so are you and that’s a really good thing. Trust me at some point your friends will see it and appreciate it and you and will start to make plans yourself. There is nothing wrong with making an effort but if this really weighs you down you can always talk to your friends about it and tell them how you’re really feeling. And you’re not repulsive be kind to yourself you’re amazing and u got this
- Date posted
- 4y
Yeah, I feel you on that. Thank you for the advice!! Sending you love ❤️
- Date posted
- 4y
tell your parents to allow you to see a therapist. It will help
- Date posted
- 4y
People really gave some good advice on this form. Im glad and hope you meet lots of good people soon :)
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
From 2 months I realised I had OCD mix of alot of intrusive thoughts for the first time everything been so bad in my life since then but Thank god after taking medication it gone much better but after 2 months i have been struggling in my life in some way and i couldn't connect to the people around me because sometimes i become more anxious then I started playing a game consists of group of friends answering questions of different things movies quotes anyhting and i started to talk to them and after time i made group of friends and i was the leader 4 boys and 4 girls they were so funny and really respectful they matched my energy so well especially a boy there and after time i started falling for him more and getting attached to them more and if someone at home knows about this they will be so mad at me because I don't know them and it's wrong behavior to talk or play that lots of time with people you don't know But I can't stop talking to them they make me feel like all my intrusive thoughts calm down and the moment I feel like i need to leave them i feel stressed or anxious and my intrusive thoughts gets bigger I got so much attached to them and that boy and it Hurts and especially that boy seems like he likes someone from the team and I shouldn't have been attracted to him in the first place I feel so lost and idk what to do my OCD been severe these days I don't wanna cut them but I should cut them...!
- Date posted
- 17w
Not directly OCD related, but: The therapist I will be talking to is not yet my official therapist and to keep a long story as short as possible: I’m from Germany, you usually get 1-2 sessions without “signing a contract” to see if you get along, I haven’t signed yet because I honestly want a different therapist but I also don’t want to wait 6 months and this will already be my 4th session with her. This time, me and my best friend will both attend at the same time since we’ve had ongoing and reoccurring issues for the past 6 months in our friendship, including confusing romantic feelings on my behalf and an overall misunderstanding and misinterpretation of each others feelings towards each other. We both recently graduated and she already knows what university she will be attending (somewhat pretty far away from mine) and even if I wanted to I most likely can’t live near her or attend the same uni. I don’t know how to explain this, but I have been grieving part of our friendship for the past year and the first time I felt like something was off was about 1 1/2 years ago. We haven’t been friends for that long (about 2 1/2 years) but we became very close friends very quickly and I do not want to lose her. However, I do feel like she has changed. Not personality wise but in her attitude towards emotions and friendship? We used to talk so much more and everything felt happier in the beginning as it does now. Obviously our friendship has had its hardships in the last 6 months (she liked/likes(?) a boy, I liked/like(?) her, she used to like be but only in the beginning of our friendship) but I miss our conversations and picknicks and just hanging out with her like normal. We also hat a time in which we didn’t talk to each other for almost 2 months and NOTHING about this made anything easier. I’m genuinely trying to detach myself from her like she did with me but nothing works. Last week we had our high school grad ceremony and we danced and when I held her hands to guide her through the people dancing, I felt those stupid butterflies again and I genuinely don’t know what to do. Sometimes I think I wouldn’t even befriend now her if we were strangers, but we made so many memories and I hate change and graduating, moving away from ALL of my friends and losing the best friend I ever had is too much for me. I get so jealous thinking about how she is going to met new friends at uni and finding a partner and forgetting about me. And I don’t know how to say any of this tomorrow because my therapist honestly doesn’t seem to care about anything I say and neither does my friend. Everytime I say that I feel like there is an issue we need to solve or talk about she just shakes it off. I feel helpless.
- Date posted
- 16w
I’ve been in a really difficult situation recently and this weekend I’ve been looking forward to for ages. I had a concert and then nights out planned with my cousins. But I’m a tad bit older than them and they’re a lot closer in ages, as are all their friends from uni, so I’m kinda just stuck here with nothing to do. They’re off flirting with people their age and dancing and I’m getting no attraction or even attention (not in an attention seeking kinda way just an I’m lonely kinda way). At the concert they left my 5 or 6 times to go to the toilet and get drinks, when I went to the toilet I went alone. I was left alone to the point people around started to notice and I had one guy say “left alone are you? You need to get better friends” I just feel very left out. I’m a lot older than them and I know I have to keep a mature head but I’ve already fallen into a pit of depression recently and very very low self esteem to the point I barely wanna go out in public, that I’m now sat here all anxious and in a really bad mood. I don’t even know exactly why or when it changed but last night I just snapped. My sister was off meeting new people, my cousin was dancing with creepy men, a guy I found attractive was more interested in my cousin, she started dancing all provocative on him and I was just kinda there. I then had people asking me if I was neurodivergent and bisexual which just sent my ocd spiralling and nobody quite understands how horrible it is to be in my head. There was this lovely guy saying how amazing stunning and beautiful I was but it kinda just made me go “you’re saying that because you feel bad for me, because you know they’re getting all the attention and I’m this ugly duff person on the side”, it’s insanely exhausting. I’m tired of it now. I don’t wanna be in a mood anymore but I can’t seem to shift it, I’m stuck
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