I wish my ROCD and doubts would just go away ): I hate it so much. I just want to be happy with my partner because I do love him so much. Does anyone have any advice? I could really use the help on this one. This theme has been especially hard for me to handle.

Hey, I can totally relate to this, I am so frustrated with my ROCD because for me it often takes away the warmth I feel for my partner. I find that it’s helpful to accept the way you feel right now (without giving yourself reassurance - you should accept that you don’t know if this is going to go away too), and commit to behavioral activation. So for me that looks like still sending her cute, romantic messages, still saying I love you, still regularly spending time with her. For you it might look different. But still acting like that, even when your OCD is telling you you shouldn’t, even if you don’t feel it, can feel better than just listening to everything OCD says. Lemme know what you think, and I hope you do well! We’re both in this together :)

Sometimes as someone with ROCD we are very observant of our partners flaws and our brains are constantly asking ourselves if they are who we should be with, or if they are a healthy relationship for us. I ended up having to look in the mirror and ask for the first time, am I A HEALTHY person to be with. We can often have a selfish perspective and mindset. And prior to NOCD I don’t think I was. I am thankful for help in my own growth. I can honestly say I am working every day to be the best version of myself for both myself and the man I love

And I feel extremely depressed at times

Good times when I didn't doubt my love too haha. But it switches all the freaking time.

Idk I think we need help or meds bc I don't know what to do

YES. So I was the same way. I would constantly be doubting him, and if loved me and having intrusive thoughts despite reality. This was especially hard because I Went though a breakup that would make anyone without OCD have a hard time trust again. I was sick of letting it get in my way and knew I wanted to give my relationship my all. So I enrolled with a councilor at NOCD (relatively VERY inexpensive) and Started taking Sertraline (a SSRI I have gone on and off of throught college). I was having a lot of self sabatoging thoughts about us because I’m going to medical school next year so I’d be constantly measuring everything he did and was like maybe I should end it now. BUT my councilor has been able to help me bring my stress/anxiety from OCD Down from a 10 to a 3. When she said “your stress has never been at a normal level until now” wow what a feeling, I could have cried tears of joy. I now feel in control of my thoughts. I could not recommend more the combination of counciling though NOCD and medication. Should you choose to, it will completely change your life and allow you to think in the way you want to

Literally just now I am on vacation with him, and I told him I was Going to go to ERP therapy in a separate room (the OCD specific therapy) and he was like okay let me grab what I need out of the room so I don’t interrupt you. I don’t tell him specific thoughts I’m working on getting past or having about him, but he knows I struggle with uncertainty about when I leave for school. He is sooo supportive and respectful about me trying to control my intrusive thoughts and knows part of my therapy is working through my thoughts alone. Prior to my starting NOCD counciling I could totally feel that my constant reassurance seeking, questioning him, and fears were starting to wear on him. I was so frustrated with myself and knew I wanted to make a change for myself, and for him. Of course no relationship is perfect and that’s why as someone with ROCD it’s so wonderful to get it under control, because then you can clearly see what is reality and maybe an actual flaw, and what is OCD and abnormal thinking. I see soooo many less flaws in him and I love and respect him and he loves and respects me. For a while I was feeling hard to love, but after starting medication and NOCD counciling I feel like myself and my relationship is better than I have imagined it could be. Could not recommend NOCD counciling more because they teach you how to require your brain specific to OCD. It’s extreamly hard to find a OCD specialist and the ones in my community were $400+ a session. I pay $60 every 2 weeks now and it’s just such a blessing