- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
The more you focus on this energy, the more real it will feel. Once you remove that immense pressure, you will see reality. I speak from experience because I clearly remember being in your shoes with ROCD. Every little part of my husband I judged and critiqued as though I had a microscope and he was a specimen. Things felt "off," I felt as though I truly did not love him anymore. It felt particularly real whenever the anxiety subsided. You are never alone in this. A good ERP tool is to profess your love for her even if it feels as though you're in denial. Continue to do things with her and be in the moment. The truth is that love is not a fairytale. Love takes a lot of work and it takes so much time and understanding. It takes a lot of commitment and patience and so many miscommunications/tiffs/off days. Sometimes, you are going to dislike your partner. Sometimes you will be annoyed of them. That is called reality, but OCD makes you fear that it means that you do not love someone. Even if you left her, the question is, would the OCD leave too? More than likely, it would resurface no matter who you were with because it isn't the person you love; rather, it is an obsessive disorder that can consume you. You are so strong and you will get through this :) you're never alone!
- Date posted
- 4y
Well what also scares me is that like when she cries or anything it seems like i dont care or get annoyed which botheres me a lot..
- Date posted
- 4y
I struggle with exactly this worry / feeling with my boyfriend. It’s super hard but I try to let my love for him, which I KNOW is there, override my OCD thoughts & worries, although it’s definitely easier said than done.
- Date posted
- 4y
Do you ruminate on this all day? Does it hit u out the blue all at once and deeply disturb you? Are you focusing on little things she does and it drifting u in to the is this right for me?? Are you doing anything to "check" if the love is there? These are good questions to look at to see if the theme of rocd is affecting you . Talk to a therapist, doesn't have to be a ocd one, it'll help your relationship alot hands down
- Date posted
- 4y
Whenever she does cry about something and usually it's about my OCD and how I tend to feel about her, i get annoyed and irritated. Right when it starts annoying me or anything like that I start to think "why am I getting so irritated? Shouldn't I be trying to comfort her?"
- Date posted
- 4y
Sometimes oversharing our ocd can lead to damaging loved ones because they can't understand what we feel. Leads to a rabbit hole of assumptions that are very wrong. If I was you I wouldn't share the ocd induced doubts with your partner anymore(dont say that ur not doing so) Rather just share you're working on it if it's brought up and that you're glad she's around . End of story.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 13w
For the past like 4 months, my ROCD has been getting worse and worse. I’ve been on lexapro for about 1.5 months now and it’s basically gotten rid of my anxiety and intrusive thoughts. But now I’m stuck with the constant feeling of not loving my bf. At this point I can’t even recognize him as someone I love. Like I will stare at him and try to feel something or recognize him but I feel nothing. It feels like I don’t love him anymore, but I don’t want to give up. I don’t know what to do at this point. I don’t know if it’s still the ocd and the medication is making it worse or if I’m truly just falling out of love with him. While not being on the verge of a panic attack and ruminating 24/7 is great, i feel like I’ve lost my identity and my emotions.
- Date posted
- 13w
Lately, I’ve been feeling so disconnected from my boyfriend, and I don’t understand why. When I look at him, it feels like I’m looking at a stranger, and my mind keeps telling me that I don’t like him, that I never really loved him, or that I was just attached and comfortable. It feels real, and that terrifies me. I know logically that ROCD makes me overanalyze every little feeling, but it doesn’t make this any easier. I keep waiting to feel something—love, excitement, even relief—but instead, I just feel numb and distant. When we talk, I feel weird. When he kisses me, I don’t feel much. I keep thinking, ‘If I really loved him, wouldn’t I feel something?’ And the fact that I don’t just fuels my anxiety even more. It scares me that I can’t remember how I felt before ROCD took over. I look at old pictures, and my brain tells me, ‘That wasn’t real, you were just excited to have a relationship.’ And because I can’t access those feelings right now, it makes me doubt everything even more. I also feel guilty because my boyfriend is so loving and patient, but I feel like I’m hurting him. He tells me he doesn’t feel loved by me anymore, and I hate that I can’t just snap out of this and be the way I was before. It’s exhausting. I don’t know what’s real anymore. I keep checking how I feel every second, and it just makes me feel worse. I know that’s a compulsion, but it’s so hard to stop. I keep searching for certainty, but no answer satisfies me. Even when I try to accept the uncertainty, my mind screams, ‘But what if you don’t love him? What if you’re just lying to yourself?’ I want to be present with him. I want to feel love naturally again. But I don’t know how to get there, and it’s terrifying.”
- Date posted
- 25d
Right now I feel like I’ve realized something awful. Like maybe… I never truly loved my boyfriend. Maybe in the beginning I was just excited to be in a relationship. Maybe I confused that excitement with real love. And when the intrusive thoughts started, maybe it wasn’t ROCD — maybe it was the truth hitting me. I write this and it feels real. That’s the scariest part. It feels calm and clear and like maybe I’ve just been lying to myself all along, holding on because I “should,” not because I truly want to. I can’t remember how it felt to love him — and that makes it worse. I feel so disconnected, so numb, like nothing makes sense anymore. Every time I try to feel something for him, it feels like I’m faking it. Like I’m playing a role, not being myself. But the thing is… I’m not at peace. If this was really the truth, why does it hurt so much? Why does this “realization” come with panic, guilt, emptiness, and so much fear? I don’t want to hurt him. I don’t want to lose him. But I also don’t want to keep living like this — doubting myself, my feelings, and my past. I feel like I’m stuck in a cycle I can’t break, and I’m scared I’ll always feel this way. Has anyone ever felt like this before?
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