- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
The more you focus on this energy, the more real it will feel. Once you remove that immense pressure, you will see reality. I speak from experience because I clearly remember being in your shoes with ROCD. Every little part of my husband I judged and critiqued as though I had a microscope and he was a specimen. Things felt "off," I felt as though I truly did not love him anymore. It felt particularly real whenever the anxiety subsided. You are never alone in this. A good ERP tool is to profess your love for her even if it feels as though you're in denial. Continue to do things with her and be in the moment. The truth is that love is not a fairytale. Love takes a lot of work and it takes so much time and understanding. It takes a lot of commitment and patience and so many miscommunications/tiffs/off days. Sometimes, you are going to dislike your partner. Sometimes you will be annoyed of them. That is called reality, but OCD makes you fear that it means that you do not love someone. Even if you left her, the question is, would the OCD leave too? More than likely, it would resurface no matter who you were with because it isn't the person you love; rather, it is an obsessive disorder that can consume you. You are so strong and you will get through this :) you're never alone!
- Date posted
- 4y
Well what also scares me is that like when she cries or anything it seems like i dont care or get annoyed which botheres me a lot..
- Date posted
- 4y
I struggle with exactly this worry / feeling with my boyfriend. It’s super hard but I try to let my love for him, which I KNOW is there, override my OCD thoughts & worries, although it’s definitely easier said than done.
- Date posted
- 4y
Do you ruminate on this all day? Does it hit u out the blue all at once and deeply disturb you? Are you focusing on little things she does and it drifting u in to the is this right for me?? Are you doing anything to "check" if the love is there? These are good questions to look at to see if the theme of rocd is affecting you . Talk to a therapist, doesn't have to be a ocd one, it'll help your relationship alot hands down
- Date posted
- 4y
Whenever she does cry about something and usually it's about my OCD and how I tend to feel about her, i get annoyed and irritated. Right when it starts annoying me or anything like that I start to think "why am I getting so irritated? Shouldn't I be trying to comfort her?"
- Date posted
- 4y
Sometimes oversharing our ocd can lead to damaging loved ones because they can't understand what we feel. Leads to a rabbit hole of assumptions that are very wrong. If I was you I wouldn't share the ocd induced doubts with your partner anymore(dont say that ur not doing so) Rather just share you're working on it if it's brought up and that you're glad she's around . End of story.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
So I haven’t been diagnosed with ROCD but I’ve kinda self-diagnosed myself because of my repeated thought patterns and my way to escape them by searching for answers online (“signs I love her” or taking “do I love her or am I attached/codependent” quizzes) and asking loved ones how they knew they were in love. But recently I started to question this symptom of ROCD, wouldn’t someone in denial about loosing feelings for their partner do the same thing? (try to look for reasons that they do love their partner) I started to feel emotionless and apathy for my partner around the 3 month mark but as we grew closer and had real and emotional talks I started to regain my feelings. But sometimes when we are cuddling i’ll get this sudden emotionless feeling and it gives me anxiety. (It also scares me to think this started at the 3 month mark due to the 3 month rule phenomenon I see on social media) Our relationship has always been soo healthy, I really love my girlfriend and I know it but Im not to sure if i’m actually “IN LOVE.” I sometimes get intrusive thoughts about her looks and feel like im in love with her physical potential rather than how she looks now and that feels so wrong but don’t get me wrong either I still still think she’s beautiful regardless of how she looks. I love everything else about her like her personality, kindness, generosity, and loyalty. She’s my first girlfriend so I don’t know how to distinguish between loving someone and being in love with someone. I also don’t know how to or how it feels to move on from someone after so many emotional/special moments with them and the thought about starting a new relationship makes me feel uncomfortable and is just something I don’t want, hence the feeling that I might just be attached/codependent. I feel so uncomfortable when thinking that if we break up I might never see her again and we’ll never get to rejoice in sharing these emotional, special, and beautiful moments. I want it to be her that I spend the rest of my life with so badly but I feel like my mind is stopping me from picturing a future of us together even though that’s what I really want. (writing this sentence^ I got the intrusive thought of “are you sure that’s what you really want” and now i’m questioning myself) I also can’t help but feel this intense anxiousness in my chest and an inner gut feeling/voice telling me to break up with her without any reason other than because I have a strong feeling she isn’t the one. I haven’t acted on this feeling because In the case that I do have ROCD I know this gut feeling/intuition cannot be trusted. I also read, in the case that I do have ROCD the way to treat it is to endure the anxiety and face uncertainty but I feel like there is no uncertainty about my relationship. I feel 100% safe with her and that she won’t cheat on me, so why do i feel like this!!! I don’t want to endure this anxiety forever, I’m so confused! I’m currently looking for therapy to help decipher my feelings correctly and see if I’m experiencing ROCD. But according to what i’ve explained.. Is this ROCD or DENIAL about losing feelings?
- Date posted
- 18w
Today, my boyfriend — who usually doesn’t post much — made a really sweet TikTok with me. He used a trend where he called me his princess and posted it on Close Friends. It was thoughtful and loving… but I felt nothing. And that terrified me. Last night, I looked at him while we were lying in bed and had a thought: “I lost feelings. I don’t like him anymore.” It hit me like a wave, and since then I’ve been so scared that this is all the proof I need that I don’t love him. The worst part? I’m not feeling any positive emotions at all. No joy. No spark. No connection. I’ve been trying so hard for so long to feel something — anything — and I just can’t. I’m scared that the numbness means the love is gone. I’m scared I never truly loved him. I’m scared I’ve just been coping all this time, forcing it. I feel like the relationship is fake, like I’m fake, and everything is falling apart. And still… he keeps showing up for me. He’s loving, kind, and consistent. He tells me how much he loves me. But I can’t feel the warmth anymore, and I don’t know what’s happening to me. I’m miserable, I feel like a shell, and I’m terrified that this is my truth — that I don’t love him and I’m just in denial. I need help. I don’t want to lose him. But I also don’t want to keep living in this constant fear, panic, and emotional numbness. I don’t know what to trust anymore — the thoughts, the feelings, or the memories that feel blurry. Has anyone felt this too?
- Date posted
- 17w
I am struggling so much with ROCD symptoms, and lately everything feels more and more real, like I am finally “realizing” that I don’t love my boyfriend anymore. When I think about him, about him speaking kindly to me, or about being with him — I feel no warmth inside me, no happiness, no calm. This makes me panic, and I start thinking that maybe this is the truth, that I don’t love him anymore or never did. It feels like my mind is connecting everything to “prove” I don’t love him — I even struggle now to remember good moments with him or any time when I felt love. When I am in his arms, instead of comfort, I feel anxious and disconnected. When he says sexual things, I feel disgust or nothing. I also had a really hard moment with my mom yesterday — I told her I don’t feel love anymore, and she told me that I am lying to myself, that I am hurting both him and myself. I keep hearing her words in my mind now. On top of this, someone on NOCD told me to focus on traits I admire about him, but when I try, nothing comes to mind and this scares me even more — like maybe I never truly loved him, I just liked the idea of having a boyfriend. I know I have read a lot about ROCD, I know about ERP, I know I should “let the feelings be there” and not fight them. But even though I know this, I feel so stuck, hopeless, and burned out. The thoughts feel so real now — like I have a gut feeling that I don’t love him anymore, that I’ve changed, and I’m just forcing myself. I am also afraid that deep down, maybe I don’t want to love him anymore, I just want to feel “normal” again — and this terrifies me. Lately I feel like everything feels more and more real — like the thoughts and this horrible feeling are the truth that I was denying all along. Now I feel almost numb, like I have accepted this horrible idea and I can’t connect to my emotions any I feel desperate. I don’t know what is real anymore. Please, if anyone can relate or give some guidance, I would be very grateful. 💔 (edited)
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