- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
The more you focus on this energy, the more real it will feel. Once you remove that immense pressure, you will see reality. I speak from experience because I clearly remember being in your shoes with ROCD. Every little part of my husband I judged and critiqued as though I had a microscope and he was a specimen. Things felt "off," I felt as though I truly did not love him anymore. It felt particularly real whenever the anxiety subsided. You are never alone in this. A good ERP tool is to profess your love for her even if it feels as though you're in denial. Continue to do things with her and be in the moment. The truth is that love is not a fairytale. Love takes a lot of work and it takes so much time and understanding. It takes a lot of commitment and patience and so many miscommunications/tiffs/off days. Sometimes, you are going to dislike your partner. Sometimes you will be annoyed of them. That is called reality, but OCD makes you fear that it means that you do not love someone. Even if you left her, the question is, would the OCD leave too? More than likely, it would resurface no matter who you were with because it isn't the person you love; rather, it is an obsessive disorder that can consume you. You are so strong and you will get through this :) you're never alone!
- Date posted
- 4y
Well what also scares me is that like when she cries or anything it seems like i dont care or get annoyed which botheres me a lot..
- Date posted
- 4y
I struggle with exactly this worry / feeling with my boyfriend. It’s super hard but I try to let my love for him, which I KNOW is there, override my OCD thoughts & worries, although it’s definitely easier said than done.
- Date posted
- 4y
Do you ruminate on this all day? Does it hit u out the blue all at once and deeply disturb you? Are you focusing on little things she does and it drifting u in to the is this right for me?? Are you doing anything to "check" if the love is there? These are good questions to look at to see if the theme of rocd is affecting you . Talk to a therapist, doesn't have to be a ocd one, it'll help your relationship alot hands down
- Date posted
- 4y
Whenever she does cry about something and usually it's about my OCD and how I tend to feel about her, i get annoyed and irritated. Right when it starts annoying me or anything like that I start to think "why am I getting so irritated? Shouldn't I be trying to comfort her?"
- Date posted
- 4y
Sometimes oversharing our ocd can lead to damaging loved ones because they can't understand what we feel. Leads to a rabbit hole of assumptions that are very wrong. If I was you I wouldn't share the ocd induced doubts with your partner anymore(dont say that ur not doing so) Rather just share you're working on it if it's brought up and that you're glad she's around . End of story.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 16w
Lately, I’ve been feeling so disconnected from my boyfriend, and I don’t understand why. When I look at him, it feels like I’m looking at a stranger, and my mind keeps telling me that I don’t like him, that I never really loved him, or that I was just attached and comfortable. It feels real, and that terrifies me. I know logically that ROCD makes me overanalyze every little feeling, but it doesn’t make this any easier. I keep waiting to feel something—love, excitement, even relief—but instead, I just feel numb and distant. When we talk, I feel weird. When he kisses me, I don’t feel much. I keep thinking, ‘If I really loved him, wouldn’t I feel something?’ And the fact that I don’t just fuels my anxiety even more. It scares me that I can’t remember how I felt before ROCD took over. I look at old pictures, and my brain tells me, ‘That wasn’t real, you were just excited to have a relationship.’ And because I can’t access those feelings right now, it makes me doubt everything even more. I also feel guilty because my boyfriend is so loving and patient, but I feel like I’m hurting him. He tells me he doesn’t feel loved by me anymore, and I hate that I can’t just snap out of this and be the way I was before. It’s exhausting. I don’t know what’s real anymore. I keep checking how I feel every second, and it just makes me feel worse. I know that’s a compulsion, but it’s so hard to stop. I keep searching for certainty, but no answer satisfies me. Even when I try to accept the uncertainty, my mind screams, ‘But what if you don’t love him? What if you’re just lying to yourself?’ I want to be present with him. I want to feel love naturally again. But I don’t know how to get there, and it’s terrifying.”
- Date posted
- 11w
Lately, I’ve been feeling extremely confused and guilty. My boyfriend has been really busy with exams, and we haven’t talked much this past week. I don’t really feel like I miss him, and that scares me. It makes me think maybe I don’t love him anymore, maybe I’ve changed, and maybe this relationship doesn’t feel right for me anymore. A few days ago, a friend invited me to go to a club with her and another girl. I know that if I went without my boyfriend, he would feel bad — not because he’s controlling, but because in our relationship, we’ve always had mutual boundaries and respect. I decided not to go, but ever since, I’ve been spiraling. My thoughts keep going: “What if I didn’t go just because of him?”, “What if I actually wanted to go, but I stopped myself because I don’t really love him?”, “What if I’m holding myself back and this relationship is limiting me?” All of this makes me think I’m bored, that I don’t like him anymore, or that I’m staying out of habit. It’s hard to tell what I really want or whether these thoughts are part of ROCD or some deeper truth. I keep wondering if I’m just attached to him because he’s my first boyfriend and we’ve been together for so long. Sometimes I even think I wouldn’t care if we broke up, and that I don’t feel anything for him anymore — and that absolutely destroys me, because he’s such a good person who truly loves me. He doesn’t deserve to be treated with so much doubt and coldness. I feel miserable. I don’t know what’s real and what’s just obsession. It hurts that I can’t feel any clarity or peace. I just want to know if this is ROCD or if I’m in denial and refusing to accept the truth
- Date posted
- 6w
Right now I feel like I’ve realized something awful. Like maybe… I never truly loved my boyfriend. Maybe in the beginning I was just excited to be in a relationship. Maybe I confused that excitement with real love. And when the intrusive thoughts started, maybe it wasn’t ROCD — maybe it was the truth hitting me. I write this and it feels real. That’s the scariest part. It feels calm and clear and like maybe I’ve just been lying to myself all along, holding on because I “should,” not because I truly want to. I can’t remember how it felt to love him — and that makes it worse. I feel so disconnected, so numb, like nothing makes sense anymore. Every time I try to feel something for him, it feels like I’m faking it. Like I’m playing a role, not being myself. But the thing is… I’m not at peace. If this was really the truth, why does it hurt so much? Why does this “realization” come with panic, guilt, emptiness, and so much fear? I don’t want to hurt him. I don’t want to lose him. But I also don’t want to keep living like this — doubting myself, my feelings, and my past. I feel like I’m stuck in a cycle I can’t break, and I’m scared I’ll always feel this way. Has anyone ever felt like this before?
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