- Username
- L💖
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I can relate to this. The pandemic has caused everyone to feel extra bored so do take that into account. I’ve been with my partner for over 2 years now and began experiencing this feeling of comfort and ease with the relationship and it scared me. It still sometimes scares me. I’ve had to really recognize that “love” is not one feeling. A long term relationship involves periods of time where you don’t feel “in love” or you may think about what it’d be like to be with someone else. This is all a part of it. This is why love is a choice. You have these thoughts and you get to decide whether or not you want to choose to stay. Throughout the past 6 months of struggling with rOCD, the beginning was horrible. Everytime my partner and I talked I felt anxious and scared. I was analyzing every little thing she did as well as questioning me if every interaction felt right. I definitely did not feel “in love”. However, I chose to live with that feeling not being there. I chose to continue to “love” her even when I felt empty. Why? Because I knew there wasn’t any thing she was doing that truly was making things bad. It was all this internal talk that was causing me to feel bad. I still struggle with it, but this past month I felt those “love” feelings again. They dwindled some. And I’m sure they will go away again. But to me that doesn’t mean that the relationship is wrong. If she was saying or doing something that made me go from a happy person to a sad person then yeah, I think there could be a problem there. But mostly when the “in love” feelings aren’t there, it doesn’t have to do with her. It has to do with my own problems that then get projected onto the relationship. Continue to seek support and knowledge on rOCD and anxiety in general. It really can brainwash you. Stay strong and know there is hope.
omg, this is sooooo true. amazing.
This made me tear up because I relate so much to this and it really helps to know that there are others going through the same thing I am, Thank you 💕
You aren't doing anything wrong. There's a video in Awaken Into Love about couples life in quarantine. And also lots of advises on long term relationship. I suggest you check that out
Sadly we cannot force feelings! We also have to expect that we may not always feel love or attraction every day! At the end of the day we choose to take loving actions because that is what we value and want! Feelings ebb and flow, plus the longer we want to feel a certain feeling the less likely we will. Same with the less we want to feel something, the more we will! Don’t force feelings or search for them, just accept them when it comes in! Feelings don’t last forever, remember that with the ones we don’t want!
true
Should you leave a good guy that you've been with longterm who treats you right, are able to be 100% comfortable with him, talk to him about anything, take care of eachother when were sad. and I tell him good and bad news right when I find out, just cause you don't have feelings? I've been with him for 6 years.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years now , safe to say I have never loved someone as much as I love my boyfriend , he feels like home to me. We developed an instant emotional connection from the beginning and I’ve never felt so close emotionally to someone . What I have struggled with throughout the relationship has been the attraction aspect , it’s not that I find him unattractive at all, objectivity he is attractive - he works out he’s Arabic tanned etc it’s more there wasn’t this instant spark or that intuitive attraction. It’s something I’ve always found to be important when dating. I pushed through this anyway because there was no way I wasn’t going to carry on seeing him I became attached to him very quickly and him to me too. The sex is great , it’s always been great but I can’t put in words what feels to be missing exactly . I feel romantically toward him not just a best friend but I’ve never felt any intense lust. I want to be able to get over this ‘issue’ but in the last 2 years I have not worked out how to not let this bother me. A quick google search of ‘do you need to have physical infatuation in a relationship’ and I cry at the responses saying you can’t force attraction , it rarely grows etc. When I am around him I don’t want time to stop , he truly is everything to me and the thought of loosing him hurts me to my core. I couldn’t stand the thought of him being with someone else and us just being friends , not in a selfish way just that we have a very special bond . We are meant to be getting married next year , we’ve spoken about it a lot and I cried tears of happiness when he mentioned the idea . I feel like the worst girlfriend in the world sometimes for having these doubts , particularly as we can both read each other like a book so I’m sure he picks up on these insecurities- what can I do I feel so lost ??
Hello, im Non binary [They/Them] and my boyfriend [I will call him V] goes by He/Him ❤️ ive never been diagnosed with OCD, but ive done my research and it makes the most sense with what i feel Ok, so im a young adult and so is my boyfriend. the only types of relationships ive been in are either abusive, toxic, or where im very anxious all of the time. With my boyfriend now, we have argued like every couple does, but i dont feel those anxious things i did with my ex, and it makes me anxious i dont love him somehow. i dont feel that heavy feeling in my chest or that feeling i got in my head when i think of my boyfriend V. i know i love V, but i get scared that since i dont get those intense feelings, that i dont. i get this soft feeling instead with him, and feel this calmness im not used to. is this normal? of course he makes me blush too, giggle, etc. but i still get scared i dont love him somehow. please help 🙏 sometimes these thoughts escalate, and it makes me really upset bc i really love my boyfriend, and want us to last a really long time (we've known eachother 8 years, but started dating almost a year ago) bc he makes me so happy, but im scared. ive started to say "If i dont love him, ill fall back in love with him. if i do love him, my love for him will continue to grow" but even that makes me anxious. im scared and love my boyfriend so much, but dont want it to be fake and hurt his feelings. is this normal?
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