- Date posted
- 3y ago
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I can relate to this. The pandemic has caused everyone to feel extra bored so do take that into account. Iāve been with my partner for over 2 years now and began experiencing this feeling of comfort and ease with the relationship and it scared me. It still sometimes scares me. Iāve had to really recognize that āloveā is not one feeling. A long term relationship involves periods of time where you donāt feel āin loveā or you may think about what itād be like to be with someone else. This is all a part of it. This is why love is a choice. You have these thoughts and you get to decide whether or not you want to choose to stay. Throughout the past 6 months of struggling with rOCD, the beginning was horrible. Everytime my partner and I talked I felt anxious and scared. I was analyzing every little thing she did as well as questioning me if every interaction felt right. I definitely did not feel āin loveā. However, I chose to live with that feeling not being there. I chose to continue to āloveā her even when I felt empty. Why? Because I knew there wasnāt any thing she was doing that truly was making things bad. It was all this internal talk that was causing me to feel bad. I still struggle with it, but this past month I felt those āloveā feelings again. They dwindled some. And Iām sure they will go away again. But to me that doesnāt mean that the relationship is wrong. If she was saying or doing something that made me go from a happy person to a sad person then yeah, I think there could be a problem there. But mostly when the āin loveā feelings arenāt there, it doesnāt have to do with her. It has to do with my own problems that then get projected onto the relationship. Continue to seek support and knowledge on rOCD and anxiety in general. It really can brainwash you. Stay strong and know there is hope.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
omg, this is sooooo true. amazing.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
This made me tear up because I relate so much to this and it really helps to know that there are others going through the same thing I am, Thank you š
- Date posted
- 3y ago
You aren't doing anything wrong. There's a video in Awaken Into Love about couples life in quarantine. And also lots of advises on long term relationship. I suggest you check that out
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Sadly we cannot force feelings! We also have to expect that we may not always feel love or attraction every day! At the end of the day we choose to take loving actions because that is what we value and want! Feelings ebb and flow, plus the longer we want to feel a certain feeling the less likely we will. Same with the less we want to feel something, the more we will! Donāt force feelings or search for them, just accept them when it comes in! Feelings donāt last forever, remember that with the ones we donāt want!
- Date posted
- 3y ago
true
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w ago
Hi everyone, Iāve been struggling with a lot of doubts and anxiety in my relationship, and Iām not sure if itās normal or if it might be something more like relationship anxiety or ROCD. Iām in a long-distance relationship with someone who is incredibly sweet, caring, and kind. And not to mention this is my first relationship ever. Despite knowing all of this, I often find myself overwhelmed by doubts. I constantly question whether I really love him or if I only like the idea of him. Sometimes, I worry that Iām just staying in the relationship because I donāt want to be single or because heās the kind of person Iām supposed to be with. These thoughts feel so real, and itās hard to shake them off, even though I donāt want them. I also tend to find āicksā or small things to criticize, and it feels like my brain is trying to push him away, even though I want to be with him. I feel guilty for having these thoughts, and it makes me overthink whether Iām being honest with myself about wanting the relationship. At times, I rely on external validation, like when people tell us we look cute together. Iām scared I might be too focused on what others think, instead of how I truly feel. I also feel guilty about small things, like not responding in the way I think I should, and I worry whether Iām capable of loving someone else. Sometimes, I feel overwhelmed by how āperfectā he is, and it makes me try to find ways to dislike him, even though I know heās a good person. I also feel nervous about things like meeting his parents or not fully enjoying his sense of humor, which adds to my overthinking. I want to be with him, but Iām stuck in this cycle of doubt and overanalyzing my feelings. I just want these thoughts and anxieties to go away. Has anyone experienced anything like this? Could this be a sign of relationship anxiety or something more? Any advice or insights would be really appreciated.
- Date posted
- 21w ago
I have an amazing fiance, our anniversary is coming up soon and I'm very excited, but my head keeps going back and forth on I love him or actually you don't love him. You hate him. It's so distressing. I keep looking up things to save relationships and comparing our relationships to other people like what am I doing wrong? And anytime I think of it, I also start thinking what if all of this is just in my head and it's not real or I'm just faking all of this. It's constant back and forth and it's making things hard. I'm not texting him as much as I use to and he noticed it. He feels bad and I don't want him to think it's his fault. He's the best fiance I've ever had and I don't want to lose him, but I want these thoughts to go away. Is it even ROCD or am I just losing it? I know I have OCD around food and gross sexual intrusive thoughts but I don't know if it's effecting other aspects of my life (I was only recently diagnosed) Please help, anyone.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 19w ago
This topic triggers me so much because I donāt think I ever experienced āgut feelingsā about my relationship until the ocd. I know that generally people get these feelings when somethingās off like their values are different, or the partner has strong bad habits, or something theyāre doing is wrong. But my relationship is perfect to me: we communicate so well and I feel so vulnerable and safe. Heās amazing and sweet and we share the same values and life goals. Weāre not perfect but I wanna be imperfect w him. Iāve never felt the way I feel for him with anyone else before. So why does it feel like the next stage of our life (moving in together) feels like Iāll change my mind later on?.. I get anxious at the idea and thought of sharing our whole life but I know I want to marry him. The idea of us growing old together, I feel like my life would be complete with him. But why do I feel like I donāt want to :( Do people have doubts anout their relationship even when thereās nothing to doubt?? Thereās nothing wrong with us at all and I want what we have forever but when I think about our future I feel so anxious like I wonāt last long until I decide I canāt do it anymore
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