- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
I can relate to this. The pandemic has caused everyone to feel extra bored so do take that into account. Iāve been with my partner for over 2 years now and began experiencing this feeling of comfort and ease with the relationship and it scared me. It still sometimes scares me. Iāve had to really recognize that āloveā is not one feeling. A long term relationship involves periods of time where you donāt feel āin loveā or you may think about what itād be like to be with someone else. This is all a part of it. This is why love is a choice. You have these thoughts and you get to decide whether or not you want to choose to stay. Throughout the past 6 months of struggling with rOCD, the beginning was horrible. Everytime my partner and I talked I felt anxious and scared. I was analyzing every little thing she did as well as questioning me if every interaction felt right. I definitely did not feel āin loveā. However, I chose to live with that feeling not being there. I chose to continue to āloveā her even when I felt empty. Why? Because I knew there wasnāt any thing she was doing that truly was making things bad. It was all this internal talk that was causing me to feel bad. I still struggle with it, but this past month I felt those āloveā feelings again. They dwindled some. And Iām sure they will go away again. But to me that doesnāt mean that the relationship is wrong. If she was saying or doing something that made me go from a happy person to a sad person then yeah, I think there could be a problem there. But mostly when the āin loveā feelings arenāt there, it doesnāt have to do with her. It has to do with my own problems that then get projected onto the relationship. Continue to seek support and knowledge on rOCD and anxiety in general. It really can brainwash you. Stay strong and know there is hope.
- Date posted
- 4y
omg, this is sooooo true. amazing.
- Date posted
- 4y
This made me tear up because I relate so much to this and it really helps to know that there are others going through the same thing I am, Thank you š
- Date posted
- 4y
You aren't doing anything wrong. There's a video in Awaken Into Love about couples life in quarantine. And also lots of advises on long term relationship. I suggest you check that out
- Date posted
- 4y
Sadly we cannot force feelings! We also have to expect that we may not always feel love or attraction every day! At the end of the day we choose to take loving actions because that is what we value and want! Feelings ebb and flow, plus the longer we want to feel a certain feeling the less likely we will. Same with the less we want to feel something, the more we will! Donāt force feelings or search for them, just accept them when it comes in! Feelings donāt last forever, remember that with the ones we donāt want!
- Date posted
- 4y
true
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
When my boyfriend and I are apart, it honestly feels like I've lost all feelings for him. I start questioning everything, wondering if I even love him at all. Then, when we're finally together again, the memory of those earlier doubts creeps in and completely ruins the moment. I get so caught up in overthinking and analyzing my feelings that I can't even enjoy being with him. It's like I'm constantly second-guessing myself. The worst part is, sometimes later, when we're still together, I do feel the love. But then the anxiety kicks in again! I start worrying that I'm just faking it because I had those doubts earlier in the day. It's this endless cycle of questioning, doubting, and overthinking, and it's exhausting. I'm really struggling to stay present when we're together, and it feels like this constant cycle is preventing me from truly connecting with him. We have been together for three years and we love together, and I just started feeling this way about a month ago; itās been almost every day since. One day, I randomly thought about breaking up with him. Our relationship is healthy, especially compared to my previous toxic one, where I was anxiously attached for two and a half years. My boyfriend is very supportive of me. I have talked to him about my doubts and everything Iām experiencing, and he continues to support, care for, and help me through it all. I am very grateful for that. One aspect of my current relationship that I would like to improve is our communication, but we are both willing to work on it together. I often find that my overthinking leads me to question whether I really want to try to fix things or if Iād rather just continue as we are. This creates a constant push and pull in our relationship. Has anyone else experienced something similar? Any advice on how to break this cycle and just be present in the moment? I'd love to hear from anyone who's been through something like this.
- Date posted
- 18w
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- Date posted
- 13w
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