- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
You just described me exact situation right now. Last night I wasn’t as anxious over my thoughts because I’ve been doing erp and I’ve been working toward accepting uncertainty, and I had the horrible thought, “what if you would like doing that” and it sent me on such a bad spiral. I never had a desire to hurt someone, I always wanted to help them. But now harm ocd is making me doubt everythinggg. No that you are not alone. Oh and the book, “overcoming harm ocd,” has so far allowed me to understand a lot about this theme !
- Date posted
- 4y
I’m so sorry, but I’m kinda relieved I’m not alone in this. And yes I feel you, I’ve had that thought too, just as “what if you like doing that and you don’t wanna accept it?” They are all so horrible and disturbing, but I know that if your thoughts start with “what if” u can already tell OCD has entered the chat lol. And same:( I was such a sweet person before all this who would never think of harm before, but now I doubt that, since I feel like a m**derer in waiting. But thank you so much for the book recommendation, I’ll try to see if it’s online :) wish you the best battling this horrible disorder !
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous I wish the best to you too! And I know what you mean, I was relieved to when knowing I wasn’t alone either. If you ever need support or anything just come back to this post and tag me and I’ll be there!
- Date posted
- 4y
@c.cat Same it makes me relieved. Thank you so much, the same thing for you!!
- Date posted
- 4y
Same, it’s so incredibly upsetting and illogical!!🙄🙄🙄🙄
- Date posted
- 4y
I relate to all of this so much. I hope that helps a little bit
- Date posted
- 4y
Makes me relieved, but I’m sorry I know how horrible it is. If you ever wanna talk I’m here for you :)
- Date posted
- 4y
Hi, I’m not a doctor, but I definitely think this sounds exactly like OCD and it is almost identical to how I feel and I know exactly what you mean when they say I love you and then you feel like a hypocrite. it’s a very distressing disorder and it is very clever and complicated and feels very heavy and dense when it happens it is as if the thought is so heavy you can’t remove it and it just wants to sink you like a weight. Or pull you into it’s current. The ocd thoughts have tremendous momentum and they are literally Bait Waiting for us to react. I am working so hard on this and finding that the only solution is to not react to the thought, or the bait before you, like when you think you’re a hypocrite or you instantly want to come back with a feeling that denies the love for you, try to avoid letting that happen and If it’s instant then do nothing else, just let it pass don’t get into it with your mind. That’s the ocd trap. it’s all useless matter and I have been there 1 million times and it sounds exactly like what I go through meaning you are not alone and that you just need to let the thoughts pass, which are and can make us very uncomfortable And sad. I know! but try to go through this discomfort without reacting or thinking further. Sometimes I get short of breath and my heart will race like crazy! But I Continue activities or read or find something to put my attention on. I’m also working on exposures and this is so hard but they say this helps. I am hoping!! I will have also have repeating images of memories of horrible things I had once thought about and I will try to figure it out then spiral and fear I could do it. So now I try to stop the spiral before it starts. I try my best not to flip out when they happen and keep saying I have OCD. I try not to give myself any reassurance Other than ocd. I even have the reminder on my door! And to accept. If you read about acceptance and ocd it’s a big part. Hope that helps! Remember you’re not alone, and helpful to know we aren’t either.🌷
- Date posted
- 4y
Hi, thank you for your helpful words. It makes me relieved to know you can relate, and I’m glad you’re doing better with this overwhelming disorder. Yes you’re so very right, dealing with discomfort is the best thing to do against OCD. Unluckily I’ve tried it so many times and I keep falling into this loop, but I guess I’ll keep trying. What terrifies me is, that what if by not ruminating I find out that I actually like these thoughts, and have liked them all along and so I will act on them. Yeah it’s a really hard thing to do, but the best thing to beat OCD. And I feel you when you say it feels like a heavy thought you can’t take off of your head, it does feel like it, it sucks. But thank you for your advice, I will try my best. Thank you, we’re all together in this <3
- Date posted
- 4y
Hi, thanks for listening and sharing it equally helps me. 🙏🏻What I’m watching out for is exactly the ‘what terrifies me part you mentioned…I too go down this spiral as well, and then there it is! The panic and dread and It’s always the same…I end up feeling sick in the hole and my life is over. It’s so crazy! remember questioning it is a compulsion which I didn’t realize! My therapist informed me of this. The more you question the worse the spiral gets, so let the ugly thought be there without starting the questions. I get the same feeling of confusion about liking or not liking the thoughts then I get so miserable ! So we have to not even let it be an option. Stay neural and let that discomfort sit there with no compulsions or questions. Clare Weeks, who was a great therapist once said and they use this with OCD when you feel the spiral coming or urge whatever it is..,(OCD makes us feel bad in a multitude of ways)…she said ‘don’t just do something!! Sit there, and let time pass.’ In other words sit through the discomfort without ruminating or doing a compulsion. It’s a crazy challenge, but let’s try it!! You’re not alone🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🌷
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous Thank you for sharing all this, it makes me feel better to know I’m not alone. It’s a hard task but we can do it! Wish you all the best and thank you so much once again, we got this!!
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous Yes! We got this!! And we got this!🙏🏻💕
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
There’s something that happens that keeps me stuck in a thought, it’s when I can see some part of myself agreeing with or relating to it in some way. That’s when the doubt creeps in. If I can understand *why* the thought is there, doesn’t that mean it’s not just random? Doesn’t that mean it actually reflects something about me? For example **(TMI/TW)**: I had the thought, *“I wonder what other people’s kinks are (including friends, family, even teenagers).”* And then I caught myself thinking, *“Well, I guess that could be interesting information… maybe I wouldn’t even stop someone from sharing it with me. Does that mean I actually want to know? Wait—does that make me perverted or incestuous for even having this curiosity?”* The same thing has happened with other thoughts, like wondering what someone’s privates might look like. I recognize that, on some level, that could be interesting—but does that mean the thought is truly mine? Maybe the answer is super obvious and I just can’t see through my OCD smoke. This was a bit embarrassing for me to write 🥲, but can anyone provide some insight?
- Young adults with OCD
- Relationship OCD
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- Harm OCD
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- "Pure" OCD
- BIPOC with OCD
- Mid-life adults with OCD
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- POCD
- Date posted
- 19w
i’ve been dealing with this “thing” since i was 15. (i’m 23 now) if i have a bad memory that i have done when i was really young or just an intrusive thought i feel like i need to tell my mom or boyfriend. it’s been on and off ever since but since January hit it’s been an everyday thing about the littlest things. mostly about my relationship. an example is i was talking to someone random at my job and we were talking about taxes and when im in deep thought or just thinking i do a thing where i bite my lip (not in the sexual way) and i had a thought when it happened “was that sexual?” and i felt like i did something wrong and i went for a while thinking that until i told my boyfriend about it. or like my ex’s face has popped up in my head in the most inappropriate times and i feel the need that i have to tell him. (my ex was not a good person) i feel like im a prisoner in my head everyday, trying to justify thoughts or remind myself that its just a thought. i didnt know that this was or could be a form of ocd. it runs in my family but i’ve just never considered it being this. i always called it anxiety or depression but i always felt like it is more than that.
- Date posted
- 16w
Hey so a couple months ago (7-8) I remember being upset at my family member. Like she was talking too much while I was annoyed and remember wanting her to be quiet. I got an intrusive thought like a really bad image of doing something really bad to her, and my hand twitched to the side a little? Like it felt like I was about to?! And I remembered thinking "if I do this, I'll get in trouble". I got up and left to the bathroom and felt horrified! I was thinking "did I want to act out? Did the only reason I didn't act out was because of getting in trouble? If there was no consequences, would have I done it?! Does this mean this whole time I've been using OCD as an excuse?" I remember I couldn't sleep for 3 nights because of how bad the anxiety was, I was crying and I felt very guilty like I should turn myself in to a mental hospital. I couldn't eat for many days or be near her because of that thought and twitch I had! I'm worried it was an impulse or I actually wanted to hurt her. And even to this day I still ruminanate about this. Like last night I couldn't sleep well I kept waking up every two hours and asking myself "am I capable?" I couldn't eat last night. Sometimes I move on from it like I forget that happened but when I remember, I feel distressed about it! I don't want to be an evil person or do bad actions towards anyone! I'm even scared to be angry because of this because I'm scared I have more "chance" of acting out due to anger. Like was it an impulse and I held back? Is this even OCD? Please help, I'm really scared!
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