- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Don’t talk so negatively about yourself! Everyone has rough times and I know right now seems like the end of the world but a few years from now you will look back on this and think “why was I so worried about that”
- Date posted
- 4y
Thanks a lot for saying that. It doesn’t feel like that now but you are very likely right.
- Date posted
- 4y
I’m sorry you’re going through this. Hopefully this app and therapy help you
- Date posted
- 4y
Thanks a lot I really appreciate it
- Date posted
- 4y
Sure thing.
- Date posted
- 4y
hey buddy, i hope you’re doing better by now. its okay if you’re not. listen, if you don’t have anyone to talk to about things like this then you should definitely get a therapist through this app, it’ll help you reaccess your situation from another perspective and sometimes that’s all you need. in regards to your comment about, “Others have real problems, UNLIKE ME” i just want to point out that you are wrong. Yes, people have baggage to deal with but baggage is not something that should be measured, if it’s real to you and it hurts you then it’s undoubtedly real. You deserve happiness, you deserve health and you most definitely deserve help. I wish I had more helpful advice but alas, I don’t know you well enough to truly help. If you ever need to vent I am right here to listen.
- Date posted
- 4y
that’s wonderful! im very glad you’re getting the help you deserve. you’ll be okay one day :)!!
- Date posted
- 4y
Also: I know that it is the correct therapy approach to treat OCD, but right now I HATE how anyone who comments will NOT tell me it’s alright or that I’m OK. They will explicitly only tell me the opposite, and probably insult and attack me to make me feel even worse, in some attempt to do exposure therapy. I am in such an emotionally fragile place right now and posting on here today will probably just make things worse. But I have no one else to talk to. No one else can listen to me. Everyone else has real problems, UNLIKE me, so if I tried to tell them about what I’m feeling they would just resent me and feel annoyed that I am interrupting their very busy schedules (but they actually work quickly and work hard, UNLIKE me) for my stupid problems that are entirely my fault. There is no one in my life at all who I can talk to about this. So this is the least bad place. Even though I know the responses on here will be cold and cruel and brutal and just make me feel much much worse.
- Date posted
- 4y
G*dd*mn if I hate being alive so much. It is so miserable being alive. I will never ever ever commit suicide, because it would permanently completely destroy the lives and any chance at happiness for my entire family. But it’s such a horrible feeling to be alive. I wish there was some escape from this horrible horrible feeling but there isn’t any.
- Date posted
- 4y
I kind of wish I had a terminal illness. Except it would make my twin brother horribly and permanently sad I think. The other members of my family I think would all be able to move on and get closure from it, accept it. But I don’t think he ever would.
- Date posted
- 4y
Thanks so much I really appreciate it. I am tearing up right now in a good way because of what you said, thank you. I went through NOCD twice. It was definitely helpful but we got to the point where it couldn’t really help me with my other issues. I just started seeing a new therapist once a week.
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 14w
This is just a vent. Feels nice to just be honest about who I am and my deficiencies. Mental health advocates are always like "you deserve to live no matter what" and I'm like "bet lol" I am not a good person whose presence has any positive impact on the world. I'm not evil, just useless without having the excuse of depression or whatever (it's anxiety based but again who gives a shit). If I were to go away, I wouldn't be missed because I contribute nothing of note. If we did not live in the US where you can get by without being socially accepted as long as you have loving parents, I would either be dead or would have stepped up and might actually be a valuable member of society (like between being dead and pushing through my anxiety I would probably choose the latter lol). Interpersonally, I have no redeeming qualities. No I'm not one of those people who says that shit and then lists all the ways they're actually decent but just have low self-esteem, I'm genuinely useless. I'm unreliable when it comes to group projects and my job, usually doing the bare minimum or less than that. When it comes to my work in general, I tend to drop the ball, often waiting till the last minute to get started on it, turning it in late, or simply not turning it in at all. I make promises about the things I will do and then don't do them. I also lack initiative and just follow orders. Socially, I don't have any friends and don't make an effort to try to gain any - I tend to act distant in social interactions and don't join in when people are having group conversations. I'm a talented artist, but the only work I've ever shown others in the last few years has been shoddy, amateurish, and completely unreflective of my abilities, and I've never been complimented for it lol. How do I feel about all this? Pretty freaking bad, yet I make no effort to change. I'm afraid of most things so I avoid them, screwing up my own life and negatively affecting other people's as well. Despite all this, I have this desire to be accepted by someone else as I am. The fact that I accept myself shows that it's possible, I guess (you could argue that I don't have a choice but I definitely chose to be okay with myself after years of self-loathing). I have a shit-ton of flaws and nothing to really offset them - I mean I'm self-aware but I think self-awareness is completely useless if you don't do anything about what you've observed in yourself, and less self-aware people are able to take more risks - and I just have this fantasy of someone showing up and looking at all that I am and being like "you have contributed literally nothing to society and you have no redeeming qualities but I accept you as you are and love you, for no reason other than I just do." But based on the comics I've read this can only happen if you're childhood friends who've known each other for a long time lol. No reason someone's gonna want to be friends with some random person who leaves a poor first impression and doesn't do anything to further the relationship. The plus side of this is that I have a /lot/ of room for growth, lots of things to change that could make me a better person. The negative side is that it is still just as hard to not be avoidant af as it was yesterday
- Date posted
- 12w
It’s never been this bad before. I feel like I’ll never get better. Every day I remember new things to feel guilty about and new fears pop into my head. What if I get doxxed? What if I said something online that could get me in trouble? What if I was hacked? What if someone is looking through every post, every message, every account I’ve ever made. I feel like I’ve dug myself into a hole and there is no way out. I’m 21, I keep thinking “no one will have grace for you because of your age. You are an adult. You should have know better. You don’t deserve to get better”
- Date posted
- 8w
I am having horrible regression in my recovery. Tonight i'm feeling really alone and sick from anxiety, i'm feeling scared to be alone with my thoughts. I had a family dinner with my sister, brother and mom today and I couldn't help but feel super dissociated. They are all laughing and talking while i'm just existing. I have a loud voice telling me I messed up, i'm dirty, i'm causing them harm. Being around people brings out the worst in my mind because i really want to be normal. My sister and brother did karaoke and sang Disney songs together and they sounded so beautiful and it made me sad because i truly don't feel like i will be able to ever live up to them. They are truly so smart and have their lives laid out for them. My mom takes my disorder personally and often says things like "you're disgusted of me" "you can't even touch me". I know she views me as the weakest one out of us 3, she favors them it's so apparent. My mom has bpd and being around her sinks me so deep. I feel so freaking alone guys and my ocd is actually spiraling me into a bad depression and my thoughts are becoming more serious. I do not feel comfortable in my mind or my body, i rely on distraction constantly running from myself.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond