I saw a better therapist today, she seemed as if she’s been familiar with same people as me. Still fearful and worried. I become fearful of good thoughts because I feel they’ll come around to bite me. It feels the more I try to think of good thoughts genuinely they’re filled with doubt as soon as I say or think them and it really sucks. Does anyone else fear that they’re losing their masculinity(guys)?

I fear for my masculinity as well. I've found myself worrying too much about my sexuality. I've lost my sex drive almost completely and I feel like if I find myself with a girl I won't feel anything, let alone getting anything going down there. I went from being a guy who absolutely couldn't stop thinking of girls to not feeling any attraction anymore. I keep obsessing about what happened in the past or how I failed to perform a couple of times and forget the fact that I loved girls ever since I was really young. Heck, I think of my experiences and I feel calmer, but that's just another compulsion...

Great to hear that you’re seeing a better therapist! Way too many don’t have enough experience and knowledge about pure O. I try not to rely on my thought no mattet if they’re «good» og «bad» cause I know that regardless an intrusive one will come eventually. OCD has really affected my attractions and sexuality in a way that makes me fear for my masculinity. And it’s terrifying. But I try my best to look at The bigger picture and think that my now is not my always. And things can get better through recovery.

I hope so, just feels like my brain is tricking me..

And now my groinals have been a slowed down which is good, but it’s like as soon as I see a nice looking female, I feel it, then it goes away instantly, and it’s just nothing but doubting and researching and I can’t help but to do that. Kinda scared

It almost feels I’m doing it on purpose

I can attest to that. It's recent for me though. Last time a girl stuck a conversation with me I felt everything. The spark, the anticipation, the excitement. Now I can't feel anything :(

It’s a scary thing. But that’s what OCD does. It scares us and makes us stuck. Hitting us where it hurts the most. I rarely experience attraction nowadays when I’m around girls. And that really sucks. But dwelling on it and doubting myself will only make it worse, so acceptance becomes The only option.