- Username
- Rhys34
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I suggest you don't use the term friend zone, ain't nothing worse than feeling like you had a genuine friend only to find they just wanted to f*ck you the whole time (from a girl's perspective lol) that term belittles the goodness of friendship as some how inferior. what you should say is that they've" looked at me as a friend when I wanted more" , you should state your intentions and interest in them early. If you don't state that you're interested in a romantic or sexual way and make it obvious that you'd love to get to know them and eventually date them, then being friends is a default for all people.
Not even more, but wanted something different.
Sounds just like me. Keep your head up and remember chicks don't like guys who are down on themselves. Besides there is more to life than girls but then again its natural so just do what you can do.
21 is still so young I promise you and its actually great you didn't get so romantically involved and go through all the trauma teenagers who engage in relationships go through, those traumas fuck up all their adult relationships. You will have a fresh start instead.
You need to get over your perceived need for a gf before you can have one. You can only be in a successful relationship if you see yourself as a whole valid person while single. Your current perception breeds codependency and that’s toxic. Also, you’re 21 there’s no rush. I didn’t have my first real relationship until I was 25. My gf was 27 and I’m her first as well. I used to have the same kind of attitude as you and I largely attribute my previous failures in the dating world on that. That and the fact that I’ve always dealt with ROCD, which I’m pleased to say I’m recovering from. Work on yourself, you’re worth no less as a single person. Also, I’d suggest you not use the term friendzone. Gives the vibe that you were only talking to someone for your own needs and that doesn’t come off well to many folks. Just a tip
How did you tell your partner about your ocd? I’ve never been in a relationship but I am scared to death just thinking about having to tell a future boyfriend about my ocd. I feel weird and alone and like no one will ever want to be with me. Especially if they find out about my mental illness. I’m 23 now and feel like I will be alone forever.
Unrelated to OCD, I just want to go off for a couple of sentences: I have no friends or any memories to look back on. Never been on a date or had someone who cared about me. I’m tired of being alone, it’s one of the reasons that I have so many mental health issues. I have always had no friends. Never been out or anything. I’m tired of this loneliness and I’m almost 20, I can’t make anymore friends because it’s not the same when you’re an adult. That’s all.
I saw someone on here talking about how they don’t think people with severe ocd can be in a relationship because they’re too much of a burden and it really really freaked me out. I know it’s not reasonable and they were probably just in a bad place but all I want is to grow up and have a husband and kids and it already hurts when my ocd is attacking that and making me feel undeserving but thinking that I’m completely unlovable makes me want to crawl in a hole. I just want to be happy and I’m afraid I’ll never be able to have a good life because of my stupid brain that latches into everything. I’ve already wasted so much time freaking out over random stupid stuff I just want to be normal and happy. I’m not sure if asking for help and advice around this is reassurance because it’s not really a part of my ocd it feels more like general anxiety. But I would like to hear other people’s experiences with dating or just generally living with ocd.
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