Does anyone else with ocd feel like they’re gonna be alone forever? I’m 21 and have never had a girlfriend or even kissed anyone and it makes me feel like a loser. Every time I try to get close to a woman I’m interested in I always get friend zoned. I feel like I’m never going to find anyone and it sucks seeing all of my fiends in relationships and getting married, having kids and being happy. I feel like I’m gonna be the one that’s always left out.

Hi, I’m new here!! I’m praying I don’t get judged for this. But, back in late May of 2022 ( literally right before I graduated high school), I added this one random girl from my school on Snapchat. She posted something about a graduation party , so I swiped up on her story basically saying how I can’t believe we’re almost graduated. She replied and we had a really short and simple conversation. The next day ( i believe) , we started talking a lot , and I just so happened to see her at the highschool when we were grabbing our graduation outfits and doing the rehearsal. When I saw her irl, I kinda got turned off ( I heard she was kinda crazy) , and on top of that , she was a little ugly irl. I remember seeing her Snapchat bio , and she was close friends with my female cousin ( a year younger than me) , who I happened to experiment sexually with when I was 10-11 years old. I remember going to work later that day and having sort of a lightbulb flick thought ( it wasn’t a good thought though) , what if my cousin told her about what happened when we were younger? So I started to kind of panic and immediately distanced myself from that girl. I also experimented sexually with one of my female friends when I was 10-11 , and from that day onwards, I’ve been pretty much living in paranoia and a little bit of guilt about someone finding out and my life being ruined . On top of that, It’s gotten worse to now sometimes I wonder if a girl I added off of quick add ( Snapchat) is underage even if they told me they were 18+ or had 18 and above in their bio, and I get so much guilt and anxiety about that. I even had a quick thought last February on what if I did something inappropriate with my younger cousin when I was 15-16 but I just can’t exactly remember when it happened , and it still eats me alive when I think about it, because I don’t know if it happened or not. I’m sorry for the long vent, I just wish I felt normal again. No matter how much I try to do things that old me used to do, life always feels “ off”. I always kept the top part about when I was younger a secret up until early (ish ) 2024, then I vented to one of my best friends and he told me that that’s a normal thing to do at a young age. Since then, I have told multiple friends and they all say they did similar stuff, but my brain just can’t accept that. Please help me, I quite literally overthink everything nowadays. 2021 was the last full year that I felt normal ( coincidentally, the best year of my life so far) . It’s not just about sexual related things either, sometimes I’ll wonder if I messed up something at work or hit a car while driving/hit someone and drove off. I just wanna live my life how I was supposed to live it after highschool ( carefree and happy) before whatever it is ( I think it’s ocd) hit me unexpectedly. Thanks to anyone who read this , I just needed to pour it out regardless of how negative I felt typing this, I hope someone can relate , because I feel so alone in my head at times.

I’m 25 and never ever thought this before my soocd relapse. I have a bf of 5 years. Never been a high libido kinda girl. Don’t get me wrong I do get turned on by my bf but not like every day you know? - That had always been in the back of my head, is this normal and ok? But my ocd has latched onto the most scariest what if EVER. My brain is now saying How do you know you won’t prefer to sleep and kiss girls if you haven’t tried it: and it’s that unknown that is scaring the shit out of me. I DONT AND NEVER HAVE wanted to sleep / kiss a girl. But now my intrusive thoughts is all I think about!!! I don’t want I don’t want I don’t want??? So why does my brain think BUT WHAT IF??? I know ocd thrives off uncertainty which is why I think this is happening? But I don’t wanna find out or work it out because all I want is to be with my bf and marry him!! Is this just the epitome of OCD?

I can't live with OCD anymore. It's ruining my life. I feel like I'm being constantly bullied in my own mind all day everyday. I don't know if what I think and feel is ever real or normal or okay, what is me and what is the OCD thoughts. I don't know if any of my experiences are normal. I'm exhausted from picking apart every single conversation I ever have with anyone until I'm strung out by a vague and ambiguous feeling of guilt. I'm tired of feeling like I'm a bad person and feeling scared all the time and not knowing why and having my brain spin me out on an endless spiralling train of thoughts that never goes anywhere and just makes me feel disconnected from everything and everyone around me. I don't know what I feel and if what I feel is normal or if anything I am doing is real and actually me or if I'm 'losing my mind.' I don't even know if this makes any sense. I get into these states of mind where every thought in my head and everything I feel and perceive makes me question my own sanity. I don't know if anyone likes me because I have absolutely no concept of what I am actually like. I feel completely lost and confused CONSTANTLY.