- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Hello! I'd be more than happy to share my story. I believe you're correct in that majority of sufferers with HOCD move on after treatment. And that's awesome! However, it is very important for people to share their success stories. For me, ERP was not super successful. I tried my best with exposure and response prevention, but my therapist mostly focused on exposure and lacked in the RP area. This would cause me to spiral and then have no way to deal with the effects of HOCD. It was so consuming! ACT really helped me. Just learning to accept the thoughts and realize the bigger picture was a relief for me. I had to be very hard on myself. I quit "cold turkey" so to speak. I refused to go on chats or look up lesbian/gay quizzes, and forums. I stopped asking my husband for reassurance. I just decided that I was going to beat this thing one way or another. I promised myself that no matter how terrible the thoughts and feelings became, there was no use in seeking reassurance or checking anymore. It is what it is! After many months, I finally began to see a lot of progress. Honestly, it flooded back to me rather quickly. I began to worry that I was just forcing myself to feel normal again (don't you just love OCD?! :)). However, I've managed the symptoms and I am so grateful for my life now. Of course, I still deal with OCD. It does not simply go away. I am a graduate student in clinical psychology and I plan to do basic research for our disorder because I believe so strongly in finding help and treatment options for us. In a way, being in this field makes me feel even more accountable for my behavior. It gives me a reason to not fall into the traps that OCD has created. I have a purpose in life and I know I want to achieve it! I suggest finding something that you also can look forward to in life- it will help you cope! You will never find an answer wasting your precious time on something that hurts you and causes so much pain. I hope that you will soon find your own way to cope and work through OCD. Have a lovely day and I'd be more than happy to help if you have questions about treatment.
- Date posted
- 4y
Thanks Kylee. I feel I’ve become treatment resistant to ERP as well and something like ACT might be more helpful.
- Date posted
- 3y
Hi lovely! I’m just starting ERP treatment and am extremely nervous! Do you feel a lot happier now? And as though you know the difference between ‘real thoughts’ and ‘ocd thoughts’ ? X
- Date posted
- 3y
@O94 Hey! So glad you reached out :) I understand feeling nervous. One thing that helped me was to lean into the fear, not just "white knuckle" it through. For example, if your therapist exposes you to pictures, don't grit your teeth or shut your body down or ignore/numb it. Your goal is to feel all the sensations without judgement. And believe me, you will feel tons of sensations. A lot of females in particular seem to need extra help in this part of the journey and many get stuck on a specific event of arousal (if you have a sexual OCD type). For instance, I just helped a lady that I've peer supported for many months who is worried that she must leave her s/o because she got aroused by pictures of naked women during therapy. It was extremely convincing and devastating for her and it made her feel like she was in denial even though she adores her partner. The thing is, OCD is so great at masking our true desire, so the best way to defeat a subtype is to lean into those feelings (even if it is arousal!). I won't get too into non concordance arousal or the complexities of human sexuality, but for the sake of this example, it was clear that she was suffering from the exposure. You must learn how to respond. It is equally important as exposing yourself! As for me personally, I have my good days and bad days as anyone with OCD. But I've learned to cope with the thoughts and feelings and let it go a lot easier than from before. A lot of people claim to be fully cured, but I know from my background that it isn't possible (yet). So the truth is that this is what the DSM 5 would classify as one of the top ten most damaging mental disorders. The good news is that the OCD community is probably the most loving and sensitive group! 🤗🤗🤗 I really enjoy supporting everyone on here because I see myself in everyone and can empathize deeply with our shared experiences. So I'm suggesting that after therapy, you should become an advocate too!!! As far as happiness goes, that is more of a philosophical question that I think can't be truly answered. Happiness is a fluid feeling, it can come and go just like any other emotion. I think the word you may be seeking is called balance (or maybe peace). And if that's what you're wondering, then yes, I'm much more at peace with my life and my emotions, and you can be, too! I wish you the best on your journey through recovery and I'm with you every step of the way! Feel free to message me or if you need peer support, my door is always open! Good luck!!!
- Date posted
- 3y
@NOCD Advocate - Kylee C. Thankyou so much for your response Kylee! 😘 Did this also happen before you got married or while you were married? Me and my partner are trying for a baby and I feel like OCD just wants to ruin it! Even though I know deep down it’s a disorder and not me! Xxx
- Date posted
- 3y
@O94 Hey no problem! I had it both before and after I married my husband, so you're definitely not alone. Although we don't have kids, I do totally sympathize with you and I can imagine that trying for a baby would bring so much additional stress from OCD. Have you gone to your first therapy session yet? How's today going so far? I wish you the best!
- Date posted
- 3y
@NOCD Advocate - Kylee C. Any chance I could speak direct with you? X
- Date posted
- 3y
@O94 Sure! Feel free to email me at kyleecarrier18@gmail.com I give a lot of personal peer support so I'm more than happy to help!
- Date posted
- 3y
@NOCD Advocate - Kylee C. Just sent you an email babe! X
- Date posted
- 4y
I can share my partial success story! I had two very bad bouts of HOCD, both of which happened after falling in love with a guy. I felt so depressed because I thought that I couldn’t be with my current boyfriend because I might be gay. The first time I was diagnosed but didn’t get treatment. The two years in between the boyfriends I still had obsessions just not as bad. The second time around I finally got treatment. It was so bad that I could only watch nature documentaries and struggled to be around female friends and I would have major panic attacks and took time off from work. I felt so depressed. Anyway, the success part is that I got treatment and did ERP and had a really good therapist. It was so hard at first but I knew I didn’t ever want to be at that rock bottom again. I just hit this point in therapy where I really didn’t care anymore! Like I just couldn’t be bothered. A few things that helped: -My therapist was very unbothered by my thoughts. Like I would just tell her what I thought was the biggest piece of evidence and she would just keep saying “so? So what?” It helped me be unbothered too. -Telling myself that maybe I had OCD and was also gay at the same time. And telling myself that I was never going to “figure out” my sexuality in this super anxious state anyway. This just helped me really focus on treating the anxiety and being dedicated to ERP. -Sticking with the ERP and noticing the subtle compulsions I was going. They can be soooo sneaky! But once I worked up the hierarchy to watching The L Word and stuff, everything else seemed so easy and I could function in normal life again. -Once I was doing much better I also did a ten day silent meditation course. It helped so much but I would definitely not recommend it when you are in the thick of things! So the other thing that happened was during this time my boyfriend dumped me because he didn’t want to deal with my anxiety (I never told him the theme). So this took away some of the anxiety because I didn’t feel as much urgency for certainty (like “I need to figure this out so I can marry him”) or as much sadness that I might really hurt him if we broke up cause I came out or as much guilt that maybe I was lying to him. This is part of why I say that it is only a partial success story. I think that it will come back pretty strong when I fall in love again, but I know that I have tools to deal with it and I will start therapy right away. I think that getting into a relationship will be the ultimate exposure. I do still get triggered by coming out stories and obsess from time to time (like once every three months of something) but it is nothing compared to how it used to be. I do not avoid anything anymore and I can watch anything on tv and hang out with any friend and feel happiness and not think about my sexuality 24/7! I hope this encourages you to seek treatment cause you can have success!
- Date posted
- 4y
I would love to hear some success stories as well!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
Hello, i know its late but i did have one question, is Hocd actually beatable? Like can you fully recover from it? Menajng no more false attraction, no more it feels real, i have confidenve im not gay but straight, no more doubts, basically meaning can you beat HOCD?
- Date posted
- 17w
Hi all, I deal with HOCD and been seeing a therapist for about 3.5 months. It has definitely got better but still affects me very much. Was wondering there is anyone out there who has dealt with HOCD as well and has recovered. I would love to message or even chat just see how your experience was and hear what was beneficial to you.
- Date posted
- 13w
This is killing me slowly day by day, im a straight female 20 years old, i started getting hocd after a break up with an ex and coming off intense use of 🍁🍃 for a few years on and off, i think it has messed up my brain so bad… my hocd is weird because ive been with men my whole life always wanted to be with men.. i also used to always question every relationship “do i love him? Does he love me? Am I with the right person?” Anyways after my hocd triggered my tocd due to researching hocd and finding they can often be linked, I started getting tocd and it’s worse then ever because it’s not who I want to be and I’m going back to situations where my abusive ex partner called me a “man” during a fight. I’ve always been a tomboy but never had same sex attraction. Help. This is killing me. I haven’t been able to study or leave the house most days, and work! I’ve lost motivation for everything and I’m in a dark hole. I need some success stories please
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