- Date posted
- 3y ago
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Coming from someone with hypersexuality and extreme and compulsive porn use these thoughts became very real to me. The reason why I developed HOCD is because I used to get off to homosexual porn and fantasies. At first I was trying to accept that I was bi but something wasn't right. Then I developed severe HOCD. I contacted a sex therapist and he told me try quiting porn. It wasn't easy but I did and since then i never ever felt attracted to homosexual porn or fantasy. My point is even if it makes you do it, its not always the case. There are people who can get turned on by anything that doesn't mean they indetify in reality as such. Fantasies are fantasies and reality is reality. Once you learn how to separate those two your HOCD can get better for sure. And groinals are very common. Everybody gets them but people without OCD don't get panicked over it. Don't worry too much. Hope you'll get through it.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Ty this helps a lot! One of my themes is real event thoughts about taboo porn I watched when I was a teen and it really messes with me because I constantly question my identity and feel extreme guilt.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Isabella Exactly the same thing I have these days. Real Event OCD is the worst possible type because you can't simply dismiss it as something that never/will happened. I have the same thing about a past sexual fantasy and more specifically one and a half years ago that popped in my head while intercourse. At that time due to my excessive porn use and hypersexuality it seemed good but looking back to it I know there's no way i would like this in real life. I know its difficult but try to sperate the reality from the fantasy/porn. People like to get off to taboo/shocking fantasies and porn. That doesn't mean you would like to do it in real life. Many people get these type of fantasies over a time in their life but it is us with OCD who over analysing them.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Nick I struggle with the same thing so this sort of helps me too. I have real event OCD about lots of taboo things I've gotten off to when I was addicted to porn but I'm also sure I would act out none of those things. My compulsively porn use quickly transmissioned to whatever I could find the most shocking but I've been working on quitting and for the most part I have.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@BigGip09 I relate so much to you bro. Like literally. I've been using porn since primary school every single day. The normal stuff would become really boring and then my tastes escalated to more taboo staff and shocking. The worst thing is once even while doing something (not intercourse) with my girlfriend in order for me to orgasm I had to think of extremely shocking and taboo staff which ruined me. However what I noticed is that if i stopped porn my natural desires would grow and the shocking and taboo staff would seem more and more disgusting. But unfortunately not the past haunts me and i have to live with the fact that I did get off to these type of stuff. Real Event OCD is by far the worst kind.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Nick now the past haunts me*
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Nick Were prime examples of how porn can fuck up love and sex lives. Everyone has the same stories. The normal stuff is boring and they want something more and more crazy to get the same high. And still, people act like addictions don't exist and people act like this stuff can't help. The same thing happens with hook up culture. Sex is no longer a prize because you've done it so much or porn destroys the way your mind views sex, intimacy, and relationships. I've been a month off porn, 50 days, but the past still greatly bothers me. The taboo things I've watched, the things I've acted out on a young age, and the really fucked up shit I've seen and searched just to get the high off of a video. Those videos probably weren't even consentual and could have originated from dark websites and I don't even know it. You think all of it is fine until you realize how much damage this shit has on you. So much shit I regret in the past is because of porn honestly. The worries of being a pedo, deviant, pervert, or a sexual offender is all because of porn. None of these problems entered my life before porn or before being hooked on it. So I'm trying to recover from it the best that I can. I can't even enjoy sexual activities regularly because of how awful porn has made it for me. I can't do anything with it so I'm just not going to do anything at all. It's not going to be easy but it's still possible. What's even worse is that there's a stigma that this can't happen to women and only men, yet I know women like Isabella who have been haunted, traumatized, or scarred by pornography alone. Whether it'd be performers or viewers. It's just not a fair cycle but we're all trying to get away from it completely. I swear to God, this shit shouldn't be legal. It just shouldn't. If we had restrictions on shit like porn and virtual prostitution, the west would be seeing improvements.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@BigGip09 Totally get it. Scientists are not convinced fully yet but I believe the reason for that is not many people will admit having a porn addiction. For me anything that you try to stop but you can't is an addition period. I tried stopping porn but my relapses have been so many. I wish I have never ever watched this monster called porn. It ruined my life and I feel like the "ghosts" of my last sexual fantasies and porn use will forever haunt me. I feel trapped in my own brain.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Nick I'm definitely not denying the fact that I'm addicted or have been while trying to stop. Controlling it is difficult and relapses do happen. But nowadays I can masturbate without the use of porn which does make me feel better but the post nut guilt is what I can't take so I don't do it. That's the worst part and I don't know how to work on that. I don't see what's the harm in admitting you have an addiction. It's admitting that you have a problem rather than trying to justify said problem. It's just more hurtful in the long run.
- Date posted
- 10w ago
@Nik07 Hey man. I am going through the exact same thing. I hope you’re still active on NOCD I really need someone to talk to!
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Absolutely! At the end of the day, groinals ARE arousal, but they are non-concordal, (I.e. they clash with actual desire and stem from OCD obsessions). A groinal response is a direct result of an OCD obsession, and it is not pleasant, nor is it wanted. It can become really anxiety provoking, because this is actual arousal (but non-concordal) it can lead to a possible desire to masturbate! That isn’t to say that you want x because of the groinal. This is probably reassurance, but I just feel like people need to know this!
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Ty I appreciate it! 🙏
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I know it’s uncomfortable I’m so confused again:/
Related posts
- Date posted
- 15w ago
Every time I go to bed late and I’m falling asleep, I suddenly get an intrusive thought of a child’s face and my groinal area always responds to it. It’s such an uncomfortable experience. I am way too tired to try and freak out so I end up falling asleep. The next morning I’m always trying to figure out whether I had the groinal response first or after the thought. I start giving OCD power but it feels like If I let it go, then I’m in denial or whatever. I don’t want to ever do anything sexual with a child. I don’t even feel comfortable talking platonically with people who are 17, much less a child. My therapist says that I have a deep rooted fear that I’m this horrible person and that OCD loves to feed off of it. When you get a groinal response, it makes the thought that much more real. I never want these things to happen. I want to only be into adults. It’s so discomforting and stressful. Especially since I’m hyper checking how anxious I am, and if I find I didn’t really have much anxiety, then I’m like “well if I didn’t have anxiety, what does this mean?” And more questions occur til I end up in a rabbit hole
- Date posted
- 15w ago
I’m sharing this bc I need advice or even support from anyone who can relate. If you can’t relate and don’t think you’ll say anything helpful or kind pls don’t comment anything… I’ve been struggling with somethings that’s making me question myself. There has been moments while self pleasuring when I get intrusive thoughts, in those moments it feels like I’m enjoying or even self pleasuring myself bc of the thought. Right after I immediately have an anxiety attack and my HEART drops bc it feels terrible I feel like a disgusting monster :( ppl have told me I haven’t done a bad bc of how intense my guilt and panic are but I keep thinking that MAYBE I made a horrible decision in the moment and the guilt is just realising that it’s just wrong this doesn’t make sense to me because I’ve always told myself that I would never act on this in 1 million years and I’ve been known that these things are wrong so I’m just like constantly questioning myself these feelings and exact same situation has happened two times already I even promised myself that I wouldn’t act on anything beforehand and yeah, I still felt like I did act on my thought during my alone time I’m genuinely convinced that I’m a horrible and it’s even got into the point where I don’t wanna be here anymore and I don’t even think this is my OCD :( tbh
- Date posted
- 8w ago
I keep getting these groinal responses when I think about kids or see one and it's really distressing, I only just learned that OCD can make you feel that and it's not actually attraction but it's so hard to remember that and I've seen people talking about accepting uncertainty but I'm so scared to think "maybe it's attraction maybe it's not" instead of "no it's not attraction that's disgusting" and idk what to do
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