- Username
- Isabella
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Coming from someone with hypersexuality and extreme and compulsive porn use these thoughts became very real to me. The reason why I developed HOCD is because I used to get off to homosexual porn and fantasies. At first I was trying to accept that I was bi but something wasn't right. Then I developed severe HOCD. I contacted a sex therapist and he told me try quiting porn. It wasn't easy but I did and since then i never ever felt attracted to homosexual porn or fantasy. My point is even if it makes you do it, its not always the case. There are people who can get turned on by anything that doesn't mean they indetify in reality as such. Fantasies are fantasies and reality is reality. Once you learn how to separate those two your HOCD can get better for sure. And groinals are very common. Everybody gets them but people without OCD don't get panicked over it. Don't worry too much. Hope you'll get through it.
Ty this helps a lot! One of my themes is real event thoughts about taboo porn I watched when I was a teen and it really messes with me because I constantly question my identity and feel extreme guilt.
@Isabella Exactly the same thing I have these days. Real Event OCD is the worst possible type because you can't simply dismiss it as something that never/will happened. I have the same thing about a past sexual fantasy and more specifically one and a half years ago that popped in my head while intercourse. At that time due to my excessive porn use and hypersexuality it seemed good but looking back to it I know there's no way i would like this in real life. I know its difficult but try to sperate the reality from the fantasy/porn. People like to get off to taboo/shocking fantasies and porn. That doesn't mean you would like to do it in real life. Many people get these type of fantasies over a time in their life but it is us with OCD who over analysing them.
@Nick I struggle with the same thing so this sort of helps me too. I have real event OCD about lots of taboo things I've gotten off to when I was addicted to porn but I'm also sure I would act out none of those things. My compulsively porn use quickly transmissioned to whatever I could find the most shocking but I've been working on quitting and for the most part I have.
@BigGip09 I relate so much to you bro. Like literally. I've been using porn since primary school every single day. The normal stuff would become really boring and then my tastes escalated to more taboo staff and shocking. The worst thing is once even while doing something (not intercourse) with my girlfriend in order for me to orgasm I had to think of extremely shocking and taboo staff which ruined me. However what I noticed is that if i stopped porn my natural desires would grow and the shocking and taboo staff would seem more and more disgusting. But unfortunately not the past haunts me and i have to live with the fact that I did get off to these type of stuff. Real Event OCD is by far the worst kind.
@Nick now the past haunts me*
@Nick Were prime examples of how porn can fuck up love and sex lives. Everyone has the same stories. The normal stuff is boring and they want something more and more crazy to get the same high. And still, people act like addictions don't exist and people act like this stuff can't help. The same thing happens with hook up culture. Sex is no longer a prize because you've done it so much or porn destroys the way your mind views sex, intimacy, and relationships. I've been a month off porn, 50 days, but the past still greatly bothers me. The taboo things I've watched, the things I've acted out on a young age, and the really fucked up shit I've seen and searched just to get the high off of a video. Those videos probably weren't even consentual and could have originated from dark websites and I don't even know it. You think all of it is fine until you realize how much damage this shit has on you. So much shit I regret in the past is because of porn honestly. The worries of being a pedo, deviant, pervert, or a sexual offender is all because of porn. None of these problems entered my life before porn or before being hooked on it. So I'm trying to recover from it the best that I can. I can't even enjoy sexual activities regularly because of how awful porn has made it for me. I can't do anything with it so I'm just not going to do anything at all. It's not going to be easy but it's still possible. What's even worse is that there's a stigma that this can't happen to women and only men, yet I know women like Isabella who have been haunted, traumatized, or scarred by pornography alone. Whether it'd be performers or viewers. It's just not a fair cycle but we're all trying to get away from it completely. I swear to God, this shit shouldn't be legal. It just shouldn't. If we had restrictions on shit like porn and virtual prostitution, the west would be seeing improvements.
@BigGip09 Totally get it. Scientists are not convinced fully yet but I believe the reason for that is not many people will admit having a porn addiction. For me anything that you try to stop but you can't is an addition period. I tried stopping porn but my relapses have been so many. I wish I have never ever watched this monster called porn. It ruined my life and I feel like the "ghosts" of my last sexual fantasies and porn use will forever haunt me. I feel trapped in my own brain.
@Nick I'm definitely not denying the fact that I'm addicted or have been while trying to stop. Controlling it is difficult and relapses do happen. But nowadays I can masturbate without the use of porn which does make me feel better but the post nut guilt is what I can't take so I don't do it. That's the worst part and I don't know how to work on that. I don't see what's the harm in admitting you have an addiction. It's admitting that you have a problem rather than trying to justify said problem. It's just more hurtful in the long run.
Absolutely! At the end of the day, groinals ARE arousal, but they are non-concordal, (I.e. they clash with actual desire and stem from OCD obsessions). A groinal response is a direct result of an OCD obsession, and it is not pleasant, nor is it wanted. It can become really anxiety provoking, because this is actual arousal (but non-concordal) it can lead to a possible desire to masturbate! That isn’t to say that you want x because of the groinal. This is probably reassurance, but I just feel like people need to know this!
Ty I appreciate it! 🙏
I know it’s uncomfortable I’m so confused again:/
Can anyone relate to having HOCD thlughts (or any form of sexual orientation OCD) and getting aroused by them? I don't mean a groinal response (tingles, twinges, etc.) or arousal-non concordance (when you're groing get's aroused but your mind doesn't), or confusing stress with arousal... I literally mean getting aroused (both mentally and physiologically) by unwanted thoughts in repeated occasions (frequently) when you test yourself? Basically like if it was a sexual fantasy, with the exception that it's a torture that you have found through compulsions. I never wanted to think any of this and I still hate and wouldn't do any of the content of my thoughts. But this happens to me and makes me feel SOOOOO in denial and anxious even though I've never had sex, interest, attraction or desires for a man (or a transexual, which is my other HOCD topic).
Hi all, I have an ERP question. I have POCD and I am terrified I would enjoy harming a child, particularly young girls. When I practice exposure I get several things: fear, dread, negative talk AND the big one, a very intense, very real groinal response. I often obsess that if get rid the fear/anxiety, I am left with the thoughts and the grional response. Which You can imagine I fear. Like, the only thing that separates me from a pedofile is my fear, why would I get rid of it? Regardless, I still experience some relieve after practicing exposure but I am left with a groinal response that stays lingering all day and eventually becomes a trigger. Anyone else experiences this? Any suggestions to work trough this in ERP?
Does anyone else feel like the groinal response comes without specific thoughts? I suffer with POCD so sometimes I just see a child or hear someone talking about a pedophile and I’ll instantly feel the groinal and a lot of anxiety. You so often read that the groinal follows an intrusive thought, but for me it’s gone beyond this.
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