18+ only Does anybody with sexual intrusive thoughts get scared that they’ll masturbate to their thoughts? Or that the thoughts really arouse them? because I get groinals and it’s so confusing. But I find the thoughts disgusting and I don’t enjoy the experience of having a groinal response at all.

Ty this helps a lot! One of my themes is real event thoughts about taboo porn I watched when I was a teen and it really messes with me because I constantly question my identity and feel extreme guilt.

@Isabella Exactly the same thing I have these days. Real Event OCD is the worst possible type because you can't simply dismiss it as something that never/will happened. I have the same thing about a past sexual fantasy and more specifically one and a half years ago that popped in my head while intercourse. At that time due to my excessive porn use and hypersexuality it seemed good but looking back to it I know there's no way i would like this in real life. I know its difficult but try to sperate the reality from the fantasy/porn. People like to get off to taboo/shocking fantasies and porn. That doesn't mean you would like to do it in real life. Many people get these type of fantasies over a time in their life but it is us with OCD who over analysing them.

@Nick I struggle with the same thing so this sort of helps me too. I have real event OCD about lots of taboo things I've gotten off to when I was addicted to porn but I'm also sure I would act out none of those things. My compulsively porn use quickly transmissioned to whatever I could find the most shocking but I've been working on quitting and for the most part I have.

@BigGip09 I relate so much to you bro. Like literally. I've been using porn since primary school every single day. The normal stuff would become really boring and then my tastes escalated to more taboo staff and shocking. The worst thing is once even while doing something (not intercourse) with my girlfriend in order for me to orgasm I had to think of extremely shocking and taboo staff which ruined me. However what I noticed is that if i stopped porn my natural desires would grow and the shocking and taboo staff would seem more and more disgusting. But unfortunately not the past haunts me and i have to live with the fact that I did get off to these type of stuff. Real Event OCD is by far the worst kind.

@Nick now the past haunts me*

@Nick Were prime examples of how porn can fuck up love and sex lives. Everyone has the same stories. The normal stuff is boring and they want something more and more crazy to get the same high. And still, people act like addictions don't exist and people act like this stuff can't help. The same thing happens with hook up culture. Sex is no longer a prize because you've done it so much or porn destroys the way your mind views sex, intimacy, and relationships. I've been a month off porn, 50 days, but the past still greatly bothers me. The taboo things I've watched, the things I've acted out on a young age, and the really fucked up shit I've seen and searched just to get the high off of a video. Those videos probably weren't even consentual and could have originated from dark websites and I don't even know it. You think all of it is fine until you realize how much damage this shit has on you. So much shit I regret in the past is because of porn honestly. The worries of being a pedo, deviant, pervert, or a sexual offender is all because of porn. None of these problems entered my life before porn or before being hooked on it. So I'm trying to recover from it the best that I can. I can't even enjoy sexual activities regularly because of how awful porn has made it for me. I can't do anything with it so I'm just not going to do anything at all. It's not going to be easy but it's still possible. What's even worse is that there's a stigma that this can't happen to women and only men, yet I know women like Isabella who have been haunted, traumatized, or scarred by pornography alone. Whether it'd be performers or viewers. It's just not a fair cycle but we're all trying to get away from it completely. I swear to God, this shit shouldn't be legal. It just shouldn't. If we had restrictions on shit like porn and virtual prostitution, the west would be seeing improvements.

@BigGip09 Totally get it. Scientists are not convinced fully yet but I believe the reason for that is not many people will admit having a porn addiction. For me anything that you try to stop but you can't is an addition period. I tried stopping porn but my relapses have been so many. I wish I have never ever watched this monster called porn. It ruined my life and I feel like the "ghosts" of my last sexual fantasies and porn use will forever haunt me. I feel trapped in my own brain.

@Nick I'm definitely not denying the fact that I'm addicted or have been while trying to stop. Controlling it is difficult and relapses do happen. But nowadays I can masturbate without the use of porn which does make me feel better but the post nut guilt is what I can't take so I don't do it. That's the worst part and I don't know how to work on that. I don't see what's the harm in admitting you have an addiction. It's admitting that you have a problem rather than trying to justify said problem. It's just more hurtful in the long run.

@Nik07 Hey man. I am going through the exact same thing. I hope you’re still active on NOCD I really need someone to talk to!

Ty I appreciate it! 🙏