- Date posted
- 6y ago
- Date posted
- 6y ago
My OCD is not identical to this but similar in some aspects. I’m quite new to this app so I don’t know if there are private messaging options but regardless I’d be happy to talk to you
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Thank you for replying. Are you able to find any sort of relief? When I don’t act upon my impulses I go into a panic, and will do anything to complete what my mind tells me I need to do.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Sometimes I’m able to get something to snap me out of it and suddenly distract my mind. This doesn’t always work but it’s a start
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Yes I have some of those symptoms as well. But not everytime I swallow/blink etc. it feels like I barely do anything without a compulsion and the „feels right“ or „even number“ thing. And I feel like it’s getting worse and becoming more whenever I give in
- Date posted
- 6y ago
You’re not alone. Your OCD is identical to mine. I literally have to look in the mirror a certain amount of times before I can leave the bathroom, touch the hand towel so many times, otherwise something “bad” will happen. Getting out of my car I have to press the lock button over and over, exactly 2 or 4 times. I won’t use certain lockers at the gym because of them being an odd number. I’ve went back into the bathroom or kitchen to touch something again like 4 times just this week and I’ve sighed with anger every time.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
But most of my OCD is literally what you just described. Along with generalized anxiety and contamination and a whole lot more, what you just described is my main thing. I worry so much about people dying. I 100% know what you mean by things have to feel right. I have to put things in the right spot that feels right or someone will die or something bad will happen. I have to wear the right shirt, I can’t wear a certain shirt etc. I completely relate to everything you said. I just try to tell myself that thoughts don’t control things like that which completely contradicts OCD. IT FEELS SO REAL. So as you know, it’s very troubling to feel if you don’t do a certain thing someone will die. I just try to tell myself it’s not true because deep down I know it’s not, it just feels real. I fight it with logic a lot. Idk if you’re religious or not but I also pray, and telling myself that God is in control and that He doesn’t make the world work like that helps me a lot too. Sorry this is so long!! But you’re not alone in this. Which also helps me! Knowing that I have a disorder helps me realize it’s just my mind acting up and it’s not going to happen! :) hope this hells
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Helps *** ^^
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w ago
I haven't been officially diagnosed with OCD but when I learned more about it, I never related to anything more. A little back story: when I was younger, there were a couple of youth suicides in my area and the schools felt the need to have someone come in and talk about suicide. Well the person they had come in did a horrible job teaching it and basically made it seem like the smallest negative emotion or feeling or change in behavior made you suicidal. This ended up scaring me so much that I got horrid anxiety. Fast forward to now, Everytime I feel anxiety and panic, I fear I'm going to kill myself. Everytime I feel down and depressed, I fear I'll end it all. I'm scared to be around anything sharp because the "What if" I hurt myself comes into my mind. There are always intrusive thoughts at almost every point of the day. And it's not only for me. Everytime I hear someone being negative, I fear they will be suicidal. I know in my heart that none of this is true but it's terrifying me that it's stuck around so much that it makes me scared that maybe it is true. I've had a lot of death in my family in the past year and a half and a lot of other family drama that I'd never had before that is now also bringing up existential intrusive thoughts. And I'd never questioned anything about life before but now I get the "why is life like this?" and "does anything we do matter?" and I hate it. I don't want to think like that. I just want to go through life being able to handle things normally again. It terrifies me even right now going "what if you give up?"
- Date posted
- 17w ago
I feel like there’s no way out of this. everyday i’m anxious and depressed from these thoughts. i feel like i have to constantly question if it’s OCD or not. the panic attacks are insane and i freak out. and a compulsion i have is looking eveything up on the internet when im stressing to know that it’s just my OCD and im not in danger. but looking things up add on to my thoughts and i start thinking “what if” actual suidcal people think. do others with this theme whenever they do something like if im taking a picture it’ll be like “yeah you look happy people will wonder what happened when your gone” LIKE i DO NOT want to end my life. or even as simple as cleaning my room, “yup keep it clean so when your family goes through your stuff” then i panic and can’t even do anything. those thoughts distress me so bad. i’ll sit there and think how good my life is or when im having a good day my thoughts will be like “NOPEEE what if your just saying that to convince yourself” it never shuts up and genuinely makes me think i have SI or something. i hope this reaches the right people just to know im not alone. Even when i do get better in the back of my mind it’s always “people who want to are the same a day before too” im genuinely scared and im scared one day im going to just snap and do it because its “too much” do i need to go to a mental hospital! i feel insane.
- Date posted
- 12w ago
Hi, I’m new here!! I’m praying I don’t get judged for this. But, back in late May of 2022 ( literally right before I graduated high school), I added this one random girl from my school on Snapchat. She posted something about a graduation party , so I swiped up on her story basically saying how I can’t believe we’re almost graduated. She replied and we had a really short and simple conversation. The next day ( i believe) , we started talking a lot , and I just so happened to see her at the highschool when we were grabbing our graduation outfits and doing the rehearsal. When I saw her irl, I kinda got turned off ( I heard she was kinda crazy) , and on top of that , she was a little ugly irl. I remember seeing her Snapchat bio , and she was close friends with my female cousin ( a year younger than me) , who I happened to experiment sexually with when I was 10-11 years old. I remember going to work later that day and having sort of a lightbulb flick thought ( it wasn’t a good thought though) , what if my cousin told her about what happened when we were younger? So I started to kind of panic and immediately distanced myself from that girl. I also experimented sexually with one of my female friends when I was 10-11 , and from that day onwards, I’ve been pretty much living in paranoia and a little bit of guilt about someone finding out and my life being ruined . On top of that, It’s gotten worse to now sometimes I wonder if a girl I added off of quick add ( Snapchat) is underage even if they told me they were 18+ or had 18 and above in their bio, and I get so much guilt and anxiety about that. I even had a quick thought last February on what if I did something inappropriate with my younger cousin when I was 15-16 but I just can’t exactly remember when it happened , and it still eats me alive when I think about it, because I don’t know if it happened or not. I’m sorry for the long vent, I just wish I felt normal again. No matter how much I try to do things that old me used to do, life always feels “ off”. I always kept the top part about when I was younger a secret up until early (ish ) 2024, then I vented to one of my best friends and he told me that that’s a normal thing to do at a young age. Since then, I have told multiple friends and they all say they did similar stuff, but my brain just can’t accept that. Please help me, I quite literally overthink everything nowadays. 2021 was the last full year that I felt normal ( coincidentally, the best year of my life so far) . It’s not just about sexual related things either, sometimes I’ll wonder if I messed up something at work or hit a car while driving/hit someone and drove off. I just wanna live my life how I was supposed to live it after highschool ( carefree and happy) before whatever it is ( I think it’s ocd) hit me unexpectedly. Thanks to anyone who read this , I just needed to pour it out regardless of how negative I felt typing this, I hope someone can relate , because I feel so alone in my head at times.
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