I’m confused. I don’t know how this is supposed to work. Can anyone relate to this??? I don’t have anyone who understands just what my ocd is. I barely understand it. No matter what I do and where, my thoughts hit me. I can be blinking the wrong way and I have to blink until it feels right.. same for swallowing, touching things, light switches and setting down cups. I have to sit and stand up multiple times until it feels right. Step on certain things like cracks in sidewalk as many times I feel is needed. Wash my hands multiple times. Even when texting, I can type out a whole paragraph and my mind tells me to delete it all and start again because it’s not right. When something isn’t right my mind tells me that someone I love is going to die or get hurt. And for some reason I obsess over certain days, like a day someone I love it born. I will sit there and flip a light switch with that date in my mind and a bad thought that something will happen and I can’t stop until I feel that person in my head is safe and everything is fine. In a way I feel that I am saving them and myself from something bad. Can anyone relate? And maybe share how you’re dealing with it all? Please and thank you.

My OCD is not identical to this but similar in some aspects. I’m quite new to this app so I don’t know if there are private messaging options but regardless I’d be happy to talk to you

Thank you for replying. Are you able to find any sort of relief? When I don’t act upon my impulses I go into a panic, and will do anything to complete what my mind tells me I need to do.

Sometimes I’m able to get something to snap me out of it and suddenly distract my mind. This doesn’t always work but it’s a start

Yes I have some of those symptoms as well. But not everytime I swallow/blink etc. it feels like I barely do anything without a compulsion and the „feels right“ or „even number“ thing. And I feel like it’s getting worse and becoming more whenever I give in

You’re not alone. Your OCD is identical to mine. I literally have to look in the mirror a certain amount of times before I can leave the bathroom, touch the hand towel so many times, otherwise something “bad” will happen. Getting out of my car I have to press the lock button over and over, exactly 2 or 4 times. I won’t use certain lockers at the gym because of them being an odd number. I’ve went back into the bathroom or kitchen to touch something again like 4 times just this week and I’ve sighed with anger every time.

But most of my OCD is literally what you just described. Along with generalized anxiety and contamination and a whole lot more, what you just described is my main thing. I worry so much about people dying. I 100% know what you mean by things have to feel right. I have to put things in the right spot that feels right or someone will die or something bad will happen. I have to wear the right shirt, I can’t wear a certain shirt etc. I completely relate to everything you said. I just try to tell myself that thoughts don’t control things like that which completely contradicts OCD. IT FEELS SO REAL. So as you know, it’s very troubling to feel if you don’t do a certain thing someone will die. I just try to tell myself it’s not true because deep down I know it’s not, it just feels real. I fight it with logic a lot. Idk if you’re religious or not but I also pray, and telling myself that God is in control and that He doesn’t make the world work like that helps me a lot too. Sorry this is so long!! But you’re not alone in this. Which also helps me! Knowing that I have a disorder helps me realize it’s just my mind acting up and it’s not going to happen! :) hope this hells

Helps *** ^^