- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
I had something very similar when my ocd first began. I was so terrified of someone tampering with my food that I used to check food packages religiously and if they weren’t just right I wouldn’t eat out of them. I struggled to go to restaurants for months because I couldn’t get over the fear that someone might tamper with my food. I would maybe mention to your therapist that you aren’t taking your medication because of your ocd. I found out that until I really told my therapist just how bad things had gotten nothing got better. I hope you can find some kind of relief soon
- Date posted
- 4y
She knows. She wants to try EMDR to ease the fear from taking medication but it doesn’t work like that. I’m like one of her few ocd patients. After this is over I need to get with an ocd therapist or at least DBT. I don’t know. Yeah I didn’t order from Ubereats for a while for that same reason I just now got over that fear. Or I’d eat something and compulsively wait 2 hours after eating/drinking something to see if it would “hit” my system. Idk I don’t want it to target my boyfriend now too it’s so hard. Thank you so much for your reply! I don’t normally see people talk about this type of contamination on here so it’s nice to see people who can relate it makes me feel less alone
- Date posted
- 4y
@j Oh for sure and I totally get not wanting your ocd to target someone you love too. I had ocd thoughts that surrounded my best friend for awhile and it was miserable. Finding a therapist that specializes in ocd is really helpful. The first therapist I saw didn’t specialize in ocd and that lead to my contamination ocd about food being misdiagnosed as an eating disorder and therefore treated incorrectly. Once I found a therapist that specialized in ocd it felt like someone finally understood how my mind worked and it was a breath of fresh air for sure
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
I used to have terrible fears of packaged food being tampered with years ago. I'd spend a long time in the supermarket checking every single food item to make sure there wasn't anything off with it at all. I take my vitamin pills and then be terrified for about an hour until I was sure I wasn't poisoned. Thank God that passed. Of course my OCD took other forms in the years after that. I take medication and it helps. I also use Erp therapy. All the best to you.
- Date posted
- 4y
Yeah, I wasn’t ordering from Ubereats for a while. And I am compulsively checking every item in food to see if there’s anything off or if it looked off I wouldn’t buy it or throw it away even though I knew it wasn’t true. I’ve had basically every theme so far but this one this badly. Thank you for your reply! I’m hoping I face my fears and take my meds soon. It’s been in my cabinet for over a month. My psych and therapist know about it and they don’t seem too concerned. They just want me to get better and they are confident the medication will help. It’s only my ocd trying to make me feel like I’m not normal even though these are “typical” ocd thoughts. I was feel like I’m crazy.
- Date posted
- 4y
@j *always
- Date posted
- 4y
I once did eat something that I didn’t know was an edible, and I did have an absolutely horrible time. It was also my first time on pot or anything else that might have been in it. But ya know what? After that horrible ride, I came back down to earth. And my OCD went wild while I was in space, and I am way more careful now about sharing dessert at a festival! (It had been an honest misunderstanding.) 🤦🏼♀️. But I lived through it! And every time since when I have chosen to have an edible, even those bad trips, I still came down and lived. I also have some PTSD that I thought I was done with, but reminds me every now and then that it still needs work. Scarier than edibles to me, I would actually consider shrooms if things get worse and more research keeps looking like they are a good way to help.
- Date posted
- 4y
Yeah, for me personally I’m staying away from all psychedelics. My boyfriend has done some and I’ve done research through him and internet and it’s not for me. I can’t even tolerate thc I don’t think I could tolerate anything else. I think my experimenting days are over lol
- Date posted
- 4y
@j I totally hear that! I think all the research being done is fascinating, and I love that it seems to really be helping people. All the same, I’m not signing up to try it right now, but I oddly feel comfort past the fear that if things got really bad, it might be a helpful option (again, more for PTSD or depression rather than OCD.) Also, for a lot of people, ingested THC becomes more psychedelic than inhaled THC. I guess it has to do with chemicals and the digestion of it. 🤷🏼♀️. But it’s definitely something I’m sensitive to, and it sounds like the same thing might be happening to you. I personally don’t like taking things, but sometimes, rarely, my body is so tired, sore, and tight that I try for just enough to ease myself so I can sleep. Unfortunately, ingesting it often results in going way past that sweet spot.
- Date posted
- 4y
@ARTnotOCD For sure. The evidence is beneficial for some people. Unfortunately I think my body cannot handle these things. I’m a slow metabolizer so everything hits so intensely. Every time I’ve had edibles I “trip” it’s never happened when I’ve just smoked it. But then I know what strains I’m getting I never know with edibles. Especially now that people are experimenting more with delta 8. That was such a weird experience. thank you so much for your insight and reply!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 17w
First off - I’m sorry, I post here a lot. My thoughts are going to be scattered because I have the adhd/ocd/executive dysfunction wombo combo. Im so embarrassed I am THIS neurodivergent. I swear my brain couldn’t pick one struggle and settle with it. I’m not making these diagnoses quirky personality traits by any means, in fact, in this post im venting about how exhausting and embarassed I am living with a brain like this on the daily. I need to hear someone’s advice please. I love hearing everyone’s advice on posts because it’s so useful, and brings me back down to reality. Everyone on here gives advice so tastefully in a way where it doesn’t feed into the self reassurance compulsion, but it’s also been thorough and constructive enough where it’s reminded me to ground myself in a healthy way. I love seeing others helping others, it soothes me. This community has been so kind, and I’m so happy I found it. I wish I could ask more, but I have so many questions I think it’d drive everyone here crazy lol. I am doing erp therapy now, and it’s been teaching me so many amazing techniques. I’ve been making progress. However, I sometimes have my moments of vunerablity. I’ve been experiencing this especially now more than ever because I am going through a breakup. He did it through text after nearly 9 months together. I’d do anything for him and love him through anything, and he broke my heart when I least expected it. I’d make his bed for him multiple times, but I haven’t done that for myself in years. I’d sit with him for hours to watch and do anything he likes, but he’d never do the same and I’d never do the same for me. I’m also at fault because I was too scared to speak up so I let a lot of disrespect slide. Why did my ocd do that? Why does ocd make me people please even when I don’t want to? Why does OCD make me care so much about things that will never effect me (like wanting validation from a random person on the street and hoping they’ll think I’m pretty enough to look at), but then when it comes to my future or positive wellbeing (like focusing on college/doing well in classes/personal hygiene/health), forces me to not care/neglect myself and those needs? I don’t understand it. Ocd makes me think everything’s a setup or a trap. I can never believe that I am fine right where I want to be. Why am I so hard on myself? Why do I even think this much? I care and feel so deeply but it becomes unhealthy so fast because ocd makes me fixate and I stay there for a while. For some reason I let this breakup define my self worth. I let it topple into the ocd fear that I will never make it in life - that I won’t be successful, I’ll never get the career I want, the love I want, or the life I want. My OCD’s version of “logic” isn’t even logical. Yes, I understand how the breakup means feelings of low self worth which will then topple into feeling bad about other things. But why has my brain been wired to think this way? Why does it seem so easy for everyone else to function normally with life but not me? Honestly this is the first time in my life where I’m dedicated to focusing on myself and learning more about myself instead of others in my life and it’s a very odd and bizarre feeling. I’m excited of course, but I’m also scared. My ocd makes me ruminate like “what if I will never make the most of this life I’ve been given”, “what if I truly have no worth and the most I will ever be in other people’s lives is a background character”, “why do I care if I’m a background character or not? I should feel guilty and ignorant for assuming everyone will automatically like me”, “are people lying to me when they call me pretty, smart or kind?”, “I need to look and sound perfect in both pictures, videos and in real life. I will never be satisfied for accepting who I am now”, and a bunch of other annoying questions. But sometimes it’s like I just can’t take the reality for what it is but at the same time, but I also acknowledge that I know this is ocd talking. This is so, so difficult. Do I make any sense with what I’m saying? Can anyone help?
- Date posted
- 16w
I’m new to treatment and only realized I have OCD a few months ago. I went through a tough and abusive marriage and ended up getting divorced. I had my first panic attack several years ago and ended up needing to go on Lexapro. This helped me significantly and allowed me to leave my partner. Several years later and I decided to stop Lexapro because I thought I was good to go. I’m in a very healthy relationship, have a great job, friends/family, go to the gym and have a wonderful life. It’s been about a year off the meds and I’ve had some panic, but I’ve been able to manage it. For some reason, the last three weeks has been really difficult for me. I have different spirals and different thought processes: what if I’m schizophrenic? What if I have a deeper mental disorder? What if I hurt someone? What if I need to leave my partner? What if I end up becoming so depressed that I end up hurting myself? My brain just goes from one what if to the next and once I conquer one, the next one pops up with even more intensity. I started taking NAC and inositol and I’m taking saffron during the day because I really don’t wanna go on back on medication but sometimes my thoughts scare me and I’m convinced that I’m not gonna get better and I know that’s just the OCD loop, but I’m wondering if this resonates with anyone else!
- Date posted
- 13w
I’ve recently been struggling a lot with OCD. I have had OCD for a long time I just didn’t realize it until more recently. About seven months ago I developed panic attacks one day randomly at work. I thought I was having a heart attack and went to the hospital where they told me it was just a panic attack and I assumed I would snap out and be better within a few days. However it didn’t. Here’s where it gets scary, I was staying at my then boyfriends house while dealing with blurry vision, anxiety attacks everyday, and more (unsure of what was going on). But at some point I saw my bfs (pew pew 🔫) on his table and it sent me into an anxiety attack after sudden thoughts that I was going to hurt myself with it. I begged him to put it away when I’m not looking so I didn’t know where he put it. He did. These thoughts lasted for about four days but began to go away. (I thought that was it and I would be back to normal). Unfortunately though I ended up moving back in with my family when we couldn’t get my panic attacks under control in time for me to get back to work and pay bills. However, coming home brought up a lot of trauma from when I was kid. My anxiety got worse but I didn’t have those thoughts again. About two and half months ago though, I got sick and went to the hospital where they gave me steroid pills and a steroid shot but sent me into some kind of psychiatric event. Ever since then though, I have been suffering from harm OCD, I have had moments of intense anger that I usually have to completely walk away and go on my own because of how intense they are, and it feels like it’s getting worse. Today I felt fine until about and hour and half ago where I started to dwell on the fact that my suicidal thought was influenced by my OCD and at the moment my OCD is at the worst it’s been. This caused me to get suddenly really depressed and I started crying thinking about how I can’t handle this. I then saw a post talking about how suicide rates are high for people with this form of OCD and it made me question if I am mentally strong enough to pull through this. I fear that at times I’m getting worse. I have good days but I have a lot of bad days. Unfortunately this sent me into such a bad panic attack I went over to my nanas crying about how I can’t deal with this. I took a 0.25 mg Xanax which helped calm down the panic attack portion of it but my brain is still uncomfortably active. I guess I just need hope. I’m so saddened by this. It’s like my life took a total 360 in 10 months and got even worse since the steroid shot. Idk what to do about it. I can’t stop the spiral. I talk to two different therapist weekly and start more next week, making it 5 times a week. I feel no improvements…
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