- Username
- j
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I had something very similar when my ocd first began. I was so terrified of someone tampering with my food that I used to check food packages religiously and if they weren’t just right I wouldn’t eat out of them. I struggled to go to restaurants for months because I couldn’t get over the fear that someone might tamper with my food. I would maybe mention to your therapist that you aren’t taking your medication because of your ocd. I found out that until I really told my therapist just how bad things had gotten nothing got better. I hope you can find some kind of relief soon
She knows. She wants to try EMDR to ease the fear from taking medication but it doesn’t work like that. I’m like one of her few ocd patients. After this is over I need to get with an ocd therapist or at least DBT. I don’t know. Yeah I didn’t order from Ubereats for a while for that same reason I just now got over that fear. Or I’d eat something and compulsively wait 2 hours after eating/drinking something to see if it would “hit” my system. Idk I don’t want it to target my boyfriend now too it’s so hard. Thank you so much for your reply! I don’t normally see people talk about this type of contamination on here so it’s nice to see people who can relate it makes me feel less alone
@j Oh for sure and I totally get not wanting your ocd to target someone you love too. I had ocd thoughts that surrounded my best friend for awhile and it was miserable. Finding a therapist that specializes in ocd is really helpful. The first therapist I saw didn’t specialize in ocd and that lead to my contamination ocd about food being misdiagnosed as an eating disorder and therefore treated incorrectly. Once I found a therapist that specialized in ocd it felt like someone finally understood how my mind worked and it was a breath of fresh air for sure
I used to have terrible fears of packaged food being tampered with years ago. I'd spend a long time in the supermarket checking every single food item to make sure there wasn't anything off with it at all. I take my vitamin pills and then be terrified for about an hour until I was sure I wasn't poisoned. Thank God that passed. Of course my OCD took other forms in the years after that. I take medication and it helps. I also use Erp therapy. All the best to you.
Yeah, I wasn’t ordering from Ubereats for a while. And I am compulsively checking every item in food to see if there’s anything off or if it looked off I wouldn’t buy it or throw it away even though I knew it wasn’t true. I’ve had basically every theme so far but this one this badly. Thank you for your reply! I’m hoping I face my fears and take my meds soon. It’s been in my cabinet for over a month. My psych and therapist know about it and they don’t seem too concerned. They just want me to get better and they are confident the medication will help. It’s only my ocd trying to make me feel like I’m not normal even though these are “typical” ocd thoughts. I was feel like I’m crazy.
@j *always
I once did eat something that I didn’t know was an edible, and I did have an absolutely horrible time. It was also my first time on pot or anything else that might have been in it. But ya know what? After that horrible ride, I came back down to earth. And my OCD went wild while I was in space, and I am way more careful now about sharing dessert at a festival! (It had been an honest misunderstanding.) 🤦🏼♀️. But I lived through it! And every time since when I have chosen to have an edible, even those bad trips, I still came down and lived. I also have some PTSD that I thought I was done with, but reminds me every now and then that it still needs work. Scarier than edibles to me, I would actually consider shrooms if things get worse and more research keeps looking like they are a good way to help.
Yeah, for me personally I’m staying away from all psychedelics. My boyfriend has done some and I’ve done research through him and internet and it’s not for me. I can’t even tolerate thc I don’t think I could tolerate anything else. I think my experimenting days are over lol
@j I totally hear that! I think all the research being done is fascinating, and I love that it seems to really be helping people. All the same, I’m not signing up to try it right now, but I oddly feel comfort past the fear that if things got really bad, it might be a helpful option (again, more for PTSD or depression rather than OCD.) Also, for a lot of people, ingested THC becomes more psychedelic than inhaled THC. I guess it has to do with chemicals and the digestion of it. 🤷🏼♀️. But it’s definitely something I’m sensitive to, and it sounds like the same thing might be happening to you. I personally don’t like taking things, but sometimes, rarely, my body is so tired, sore, and tight that I try for just enough to ease myself so I can sleep. Unfortunately, ingesting it often results in going way past that sweet spot.
@ARTnotOCD For sure. The evidence is beneficial for some people. Unfortunately I think my body cannot handle these things. I’m a slow metabolizer so everything hits so intensely. Every time I’ve had edibles I “trip” it’s never happened when I’ve just smoked it. But then I know what strains I’m getting I never know with edibles. Especially now that people are experimenting more with delta 8. That was such a weird experience. thank you so much for your insight and reply!
Hey all! I just joined this app and wanted to ask for your thoughts and encouragement on something I’ve been experiencing lately. (*long post ahead*) I’ve had an OCD diagnosis for about 2 years now, along with generalized anxiety, depersonalization symptoms, and depression diagnoses since my teens (I’m 24). Been lucky to have great family and healthcare that have helped me get out of some very dark places. I’m currently on a very high dose of Prozac, a smaller dose of Wellbutrin, and have been in therapy pretty consistently since my late teens. Life is pretty good....I’m in grad school and am doing well socially and academically. I am moving out to another part of the country to do an internship for 10 weeks, starting this Friday. But with all of this great and wonderful stuff in life, I have definitely noticed my OCD getting worse, despite my meds and self care. I’ve been having more obsessive fears and doing the rituals and compulsions to soothe those fears. It’s taking up much more of my mental space than it had for the past 2 years or so. I think part of it is the big change of moving to a new place temporarily, finishing my first year of grad school, and going from being insanely busy to having a month of downtime that is just now wrapping up. I’m getting scared that things are going to get really bad again — so far I’ve been managing with mindfulness and acceptance, and reading up on tactics for managing intrusive thoughts and accompanying compulsions. But I am so afraid that things will get to be into the dark and horrible place they were in 2 years ago. My OCD has been really mild the past few years, since I started the meds, and to feel it flare up again is really REALLY distressing. It makes me scared that the meds aren’t working, or that all the thoughts and fears are real. I know this isn’t the truth, logically, but my OCD and anxiety are running with it. I’m just wondering if anyone else has experienced this (change-related flare ups and the fears accompanied by them) and has tools to manage relapse or flare ups. Thanks in advance :) :)
Hey everyone. This is my first post here and it’s probably going to be a long one because I guess I feel comfortable enough to be open here. I need help. When I first got diagnosed with OCD, I figured it only impacted a small part of my life. I thought I was only affected with compulsions and obsessions that dealt with contamination, tangible perfectionism and the obvious intrusive thoughts and that’s it. Well, I’ve come to realize that most of my thinking has been impacted by OCD. At this point the only way to describe how it feels to me is a forest of thorny vines growing in place of my mind or maybe through and around my brain constantly growing every-time I give into this type of thinking (which is basically all the time because I wasn’t aware this was OCD). I’ve definitely felt it more recently, but I know it’s always been there from what I recall from past memories. I got diagnosed not so long ago with OCD and I was happy to because it explained this thing I knew was wrong with me but I didn’t know how much it will and has impacted me in the past. So, I think I’ve created a matrix in my mind or strengthened the OCD thought patterns because now I feel like my OCD impacts everything I do. And I guess I’m saying I need help here because maybe you guys will be able to see it, maybe validate me and point me where I can get help. I’ve been telling the people around me, I think my thinking is disordered and I need help but I don’t think they really understand the amount it’s affecting me or grasp what I meant when I say “I Need Help”. I did have a therapist before but because of a insurance change, she can’t work with me anymore and I’m not sure when I’ll get another (just to clarify). Back to the matter, the past couple of months I’ve been in my head just thinking and thinking. About everything. To the point where my head starts to hurt or until I feel sick of thinking about it but I can’t. I find that’s my obsessions and compulsions (other than the need for order [which can also be mental]) are very mentally based and I find myself ashamed of them so I hide them so maybe that’s why the people around me don’t feel my need for getting help as much as I do. Anyways, examples of this have been, -constantly thinking about what’s the purpose of all of life and the hidden messages in life -feeling like if I don’t do everything perfectly then what the point or being very mad at myself -being obsessed with how I present to the rest of the world sometimes even in close relationships -having calculated movements and actions (having to move my body a certain way or it doesn’t feel right) -obsessing over an absolute truth -questioning friendships and other relationships - obsessing over achievements or failures -obsessing over people -obsessing over decisions and outcomes because I want to make the perfect decisions I could go on and on but basically it’s just a lot of thinking and ruminating and obsessing to the point where people tell me I look like I’m some where else all the time. And I’ve started to feel like I find comfort in it now. I’m also diagnosed with depression and anxiety and I feel like it’s all just OCD. And same goes for my dissociation. I feel like they all root from my OCD. I’m so tired of feeling like this all the time and without my therapist I feel like I’m stuck here. I can’t make decisions, I’m never present, I can’t make or keep friendships/ relationships, everything impacts me deeply because I create a emotional obsession to it, I can’t just be without questioning everything and I’m constantly in my head. I’ve also started getting high all the time because I feel like it’s the only way to escape my brain but I’ve felt like it’s getting out of hand. I’m starting to lose in any type of hope of getting better. Does anyone have an advice for working on OCD by yourself or identifying when it’s OCD (especially mental obsessions and compulsions) so I can start to chip at this boulder that’s weighing down my life and energy?
Hi, so I’ve been dealing with OCD for the past four years intrusive thoughts and all. At first it started with being scared of panic attacks then the thoughts went to being scared I’d harm myself and now they’re associated around harming other people especially my family which is very very scary. It feels like I’m deeply rooted a bad person. I can’t even tell anyone my thoughts. It also makes me confused on if I want these thoughts. I’m not even sure if I have any compulsions bc I try to just ignore the thoughts and distract myself. Lately I’ve noticed my anxiety getting a lot worse Notjhing seems to calm it down anymore and I just want to stay alone in my bed and make it all go away. I’m scared I’m scared of myself and I’m scared these thoughts could happen one day and I’m scared I want them. Sometimes my thoughts can make me feel like that… does anyone have any good resources im doing ERP but it’s so expensive. I haven’t tried medication but I want to I’m just scared it will make me worse or make me gain weight. But I’m at the point where I’m desperate and something needs to change bc I can’t live like this. I feel like I’m fighting my thoughts all day. And one second I feel confident I’m ok and the next my whole body gets hot and I feel like it’s all possible and I want these thoughts. Someone please give me advice?
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