- Date posted
- 3y ago
- Date posted
- 3y ago
i saw that too:( all i have to say is you will live a happy life! just because you have ocd does not mean you won’t have a good future/life. if you want to get married and have kids do it!! you are deserving of so much and deserve love and more! it might be tricky with ocd but at one point in your life you will be calm with your ocd! my advice is to go to therapy if you aren’t in it already and do erp. it will help you sooo much and therapy is so good for you! i’m wishing you the best. you got this:)
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I’ve been meaning to start therapy. My only concern is that I’ll be pushed into telling the therapist the nature of my thoughts and that’s the part that scares me. My brains telling me if I tell a therapist my thoughts they’ll say that I’m an exception to ocd and they’re true (which is pretty irrational I know) so I was wondering does yours push you into saying what your thoughts consist of? Or should I be able to get away with not saying what they’re about until I get comfortable?
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Anonymous it took me a bit to talk about my ocd themes and i know it can be very scary but with an ocd specialist they know about pretty much every intrusive thought they’ve heard it all. start by talking about a little bit of your thoughts maybe not the extreme ones and work your way up to talking about it more! take your time and do whatever makes you comfortable!
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@sb12367 Thank you so much you’ve helped a lot!
- Date posted
- 3y ago
There’s a lot of stigma with dating people with mental illnesses and just being with people that have some sort of disability or dysfunction in general. I remember telling my advisor that I feel like a burden to anyone who would roommate with me which is why I didn’t want one. My advisor is blind and she has felt the same way. She told me that even though it’s common to feel like a burden, you’re not. Anyone who loves and cares about you will stick with you. No one is easy to be with period. We all have something that can make it difficult at times. That’s okay. I feel like there’s always that concern that having unaddressed issues or trauma will impact someone in your life and it can. My mom has unaddressed trauma and mental health issues. She is emotionally abusive towards me and struggles to parent. I think maybe that’s what they were referring to. Not that people with OCD or even severe OCD can’t be with people, but people who have completely unaddressed problems that are out of control can negatively impact how they interact with people. If you’re starting therapy or at least have some self awareness about it and are conscious about what you do as a partner, I think you’re okay. OCD shouldn’t stop anyone from doing anything.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
To a certain extent, I’d say they’re right. Any mental illness out of control affects those around you. It’s a hard truth, but it is what it is.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
i think anyone can get married and do whatever they want. i don’t think people should be sharing any negative stuff like this. yes you are right it might make it hard sometimes but like i said if someone truly loves you and wants to be with you they will work it out and be a team and if it doesn’t work it doesn’t. it doesn’t hurt to try to fall in love. anyone can do it i feel theres a stigma around people with mental illness shouldn’t get married when really they can do whatever they want that’s their business and they will make it work
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@sb12367 You can do whatever you want, but you also have to think about the people around you. Life isn’t all about you, it’s about others as well. Healing is up to you, and it’s great to have a spouse that supports you. But after a certain point, it’s on you to fix yourself and realize if you’re being toxic, there’s a chance you’ll be broken up with.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w ago
hi. so one big factor of my OCD is rumination. i met a guy who i have a crush on the idea of (idea bc there are red flags). my biggest fear is not finding true love, my ex told me no one else would deal with what i have (my ocd, specifically reassurance seeking and getting overstimulated after intimacy). a few weeks ago, my friends and family all gathered and tried to give me advice that sounded like “you’re shy and you’ll never find someone.” after that, i’ve felt off. i’ve been using an unhealthy coping skill, daydreaming, and i’ve just felt unbalanced. my ocd makes everything feel different sometimes, i can’t explain it. life, myself, almost like being in a dissociated state. has anyone else experienced that? i don’t know how to remain balanced during my off times and i know pms exasperates it all. i take ashwaghanda and omega 3s in a multi vitamin daily. i take them all together in the evening but i’ve missed three days recently and also messed with my rocky sleep schedule because of fun times with friends. i hope these supplements work, because i don’t know if i’d be brave enough for medication. i had a bad reaction on prozac and often am forgetful. i just have been battling my OCD consciously for almost ten years now and unconsciously for longer. i am so tired, as my mental health extends beyond my OCD. i’m in talk therapy with some cbt aspects but i only see her twice a month. i’ve broken down so many times and promised myself id get on track or that certain things would work, but it’s like i am stuck in a circle that gets smaller when i’m able to help myself. i just want to be normal. i want to be able to mess up my sleep schedule to enjoy good times and not suffer horrible consequences or fear that i will be entirely thrown off balance. i don’t want to worry or doubt or feel so dissociative that i squint my eyes for a moment and wonder why i feel so unreal. i will never understand why god has allowed me to go through this. i cannot let it be for nothing but i don’t know how much more to bend and contort my body and brain to get somewhere stable but how lovely it would be if i could. i don’t have much of a schedule right now, i get apathetic and give in with things from time to time. one thing can trigger me and i am back to square one wether in a week or month. any advice, any and all is so helpful. your stories, your thoughts. maybe feeling less alone and knowing what has helped you is exactly what i need right now. thank you 💗
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 12w ago
Looking back, my introverted nature and struggles to find belonging in high school may have set the stage for how OCD would later impact my relationships. I had my first relationship in high school, but OCD wasn’t a major factor then. It wasn’t until my longest relationship—six years from age 18 to 24—that OCD really took hold. The relationship itself wasn’t the issue; it was what happened after. When it ended, I became obsessed with confessing past mistakes, convinced I had to be completely transparent. Even when my partner was willing to work past them, I couldn’t let go of the intrusive thoughts, and that obsession landed me in the hospital. From there, my struggle with ROCD (Relationship OCD) fully emerged. For years, every time I tried to move forward in dating, doubts consumed me. I would start seeing someone and feel fine, but then the questions would creep in: Do I really like her? Do I find her attractive? Is she getting on my nerves? What if I’m with the wrong person? I’d break things off, thinking I was following my true feelings. But then I’d question: Was that really how I felt, or was it just OCD? I tried again and again, each time hoping I could “withstand it this time,” only to fall back into the same cycle. The back and forth hurt both me and the person I was with. By the time I realized it was ROCD, the damage had been done, and I still hadn’t built the tools to manage it. Now, at 28, I know I need to approach dating differently. I recently talked to someone from a dating app, and my OCD still showed up—questioning my every move, making me doubt my own decisions. I haven’t yet done ERP specifically for ROCD, but I know that’s my next step. Just like I’ve learned tools for managing my other OCD subtypes, I need a set of strategies for when intrusive doubts hit in relationships. My goal this year is to stop letting uncertainty control me—to learn how to sit with doubt instead of trying to “figure it out.” I want to break the cycle and be able to build something healthy without my OCD sabotaging it. I know I’m not alone in this, and I know healing is possible. I’m hopeful that working with a therapist will help me develop exposures and thought loops to practice. I don’t expect to eliminate doubt entirely—after all, doubt is a part of every relationship—but I want to reach a place where it doesn’t paralyze me. Where I can move forward without constantly questioning whether I should. And where I can be in a relationship without feeling like OCD is pulling the strings. I would appreciate hearing about your experiences with ROCD. Please share your thoughts or any questions in the comments below. I’d love to connect and offer my perspective. Thanks!
- Date posted
- 8w ago
Hey everyone, First time posting here! Wanted to share my story for some support but also to hopefully make others feel less alone. In short - my ROCD has made such a mess of my personal life. I was in a great relationship until spring of last year, at which point we separated mainly due to my ROCD. I struggled heavily with OCD about 10 years ago (harm based intrusive thoughts, sexual orientation ocd, etc). It took a lot of work but I was able to mostly overcome my struggles and truthfully, hadn’t given ocd much thought since then. I thought I was cured. And then 10 years later I am in a very fulfilling relationship with a girl I really love, but at about the year mark in my relationship things really changed. She wanted to have a conversation about next steps (moving in, marriage, kids, etc) and at that point my brain just went into panic mode and the ocd took over. From that point on, I was constantly scanning for red flags, felt very reserved when it came to any sort of statement or commitment and tended to avoid anything that would indicate I was committed to a long term future. It was not that I didn’t love it was just that my ocd was doing anything to keep me from making a big commitment. It eventually got a point where we had a big conversation about breaking up or staying together and my OCD convinced me that it was safer and that I would do less harm to her if we ended things, which was incredibly devastating to me. At the time I felt like my obsessing over small red flags were normal and that I needed to protect myself. I just had no clue it was ROCD. I spent the next 8 months missing her and kicking myself for my mistakes, and I eventually got the courage to reach out and see if she’d be willing to talk again, which she was. But the problem is, at this point I still didn’t know it was ocd. So when we talked again I was still plagued by ROCD as all the same thoughts and feelings came flooding back. We tried to talk through things but once again I was unable to make any sort of commitment to the future so it went nowhere. Once again, I am feeling very sad and angry at myself for not being able to handle ROCD. I feel like I let it control me twice and has robbed me of a lot of happiness and hurt someone I care very much about. I understand it’s probably not best to just look at ourselves with anger and guilt all the time but it’s hard not to when you feel like you just caused so much harm. Anyone feel like they can relate? Or if anyone is going through something similar I am happy to chat as ROCD can really be tricky. Thanks
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