- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
i saw that too:( all i have to say is you will live a happy life! just because you have ocd does not mean you won’t have a good future/life. if you want to get married and have kids do it!! you are deserving of so much and deserve love and more! it might be tricky with ocd but at one point in your life you will be calm with your ocd! my advice is to go to therapy if you aren’t in it already and do erp. it will help you sooo much and therapy is so good for you! i’m wishing you the best. you got this:)
- Date posted
- 4y
I’ve been meaning to start therapy. My only concern is that I’ll be pushed into telling the therapist the nature of my thoughts and that’s the part that scares me. My brains telling me if I tell a therapist my thoughts they’ll say that I’m an exception to ocd and they’re true (which is pretty irrational I know) so I was wondering does yours push you into saying what your thoughts consist of? Or should I be able to get away with not saying what they’re about until I get comfortable?
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous it took me a bit to talk about my ocd themes and i know it can be very scary but with an ocd specialist they know about pretty much every intrusive thought they’ve heard it all. start by talking about a little bit of your thoughts maybe not the extreme ones and work your way up to talking about it more! take your time and do whatever makes you comfortable!
- Date posted
- 4y
@sb12367 Thank you so much you’ve helped a lot!
- Date posted
- 4y
There’s a lot of stigma with dating people with mental illnesses and just being with people that have some sort of disability or dysfunction in general. I remember telling my advisor that I feel like a burden to anyone who would roommate with me which is why I didn’t want one. My advisor is blind and she has felt the same way. She told me that even though it’s common to feel like a burden, you’re not. Anyone who loves and cares about you will stick with you. No one is easy to be with period. We all have something that can make it difficult at times. That’s okay. I feel like there’s always that concern that having unaddressed issues or trauma will impact someone in your life and it can. My mom has unaddressed trauma and mental health issues. She is emotionally abusive towards me and struggles to parent. I think maybe that’s what they were referring to. Not that people with OCD or even severe OCD can’t be with people, but people who have completely unaddressed problems that are out of control can negatively impact how they interact with people. If you’re starting therapy or at least have some self awareness about it and are conscious about what you do as a partner, I think you’re okay. OCD shouldn’t stop anyone from doing anything.
- Date posted
- 4y
To a certain extent, I’d say they’re right. Any mental illness out of control affects those around you. It’s a hard truth, but it is what it is.
- Date posted
- 4y
i think anyone can get married and do whatever they want. i don’t think people should be sharing any negative stuff like this. yes you are right it might make it hard sometimes but like i said if someone truly loves you and wants to be with you they will work it out and be a team and if it doesn’t work it doesn’t. it doesn’t hurt to try to fall in love. anyone can do it i feel theres a stigma around people with mental illness shouldn’t get married when really they can do whatever they want that’s their business and they will make it work
- Date posted
- 4y
@sb12367 You can do whatever you want, but you also have to think about the people around you. Life isn’t all about you, it’s about others as well. Healing is up to you, and it’s great to have a spouse that supports you. But after a certain point, it’s on you to fix yourself and realize if you’re being toxic, there’s a chance you’ll be broken up with.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
I feel completely unlovable. I have a difficult time getting close to people because of my OCD and I have to force myself to not compulsively seek reassurance. I feel like I’ll never find my person. I’m worried I’ll be an awful wife because of my inability to do anything. I want to show up for my partner, but I feel stuck because of my OCD. I think it’s safer to just be alone.
- Date posted
- 24w
I’m a good man and I know that. My OCD revolves around relationships. While dating someone a truly enjoy, I find myself needing to compulse everything on my mind or else I feel like I’m being a liar or keeping secrets. I also am pretty confident I suffer from false memory ocd. I don’t like to put a label on things but I’m 99.9% sure I do. My compulsions a lot of times come from things I’m not even sure are real. The more thought I put into them, the more I start to believe they are real. One of the worst compulsions I had in my relationship was I had a thought “what if I find my ex more attractive” and “what if I thought the sex with them was better”. I ended up compulsing these things to my gf. After lots of time to think and get a ahold of myself I was able to remind myself that these things weren’t true and I was just in a downward spiral. There was a 2-3 month period where every time I was relieved of something then I would instantly think of something else. These compulsions have caused insecurity in my gf and I feel like a terrible person. Never meant to hurt her at all and was just trying to find a sense of relief. While I know it is not true, I can’t fix things with words and I feel terrible. I would love to hear from people with tricks and strategies that can help. I love my gf and want to fix things and understand this is not a relationship fixer app but I would like to know what are some ways you are able to deal with these kind of things.
- Date posted
- 20w
First off - I’m sorry, I post here a lot. My thoughts are going to be scattered because I have the adhd/ocd/executive dysfunction wombo combo. Im so embarrassed I am THIS neurodivergent. I swear my brain couldn’t pick one struggle and settle with it. I’m not making these diagnoses quirky personality traits by any means, in fact, in this post im venting about how exhausting and embarassed I am living with a brain like this on the daily. I need to hear someone’s advice please. I love hearing everyone’s advice on posts because it’s so useful, and brings me back down to reality. Everyone on here gives advice so tastefully in a way where it doesn’t feed into the self reassurance compulsion, but it’s also been thorough and constructive enough where it’s reminded me to ground myself in a healthy way. I love seeing others helping others, it soothes me. This community has been so kind, and I’m so happy I found it. I wish I could ask more, but I have so many questions I think it’d drive everyone here crazy lol. I am doing erp therapy now, and it’s been teaching me so many amazing techniques. I’ve been making progress. However, I sometimes have my moments of vunerablity. I’ve been experiencing this especially now more than ever because I am going through a breakup. He did it through text after nearly 9 months together. I’d do anything for him and love him through anything, and he broke my heart when I least expected it. I’d make his bed for him multiple times, but I haven’t done that for myself in years. I’d sit with him for hours to watch and do anything he likes, but he’d never do the same and I’d never do the same for me. I’m also at fault because I was too scared to speak up so I let a lot of disrespect slide. Why did my ocd do that? Why does ocd make me people please even when I don’t want to? Why does OCD make me care so much about things that will never effect me (like wanting validation from a random person on the street and hoping they’ll think I’m pretty enough to look at), but then when it comes to my future or positive wellbeing (like focusing on college/doing well in classes/personal hygiene/health), forces me to not care/neglect myself and those needs? I don’t understand it. Ocd makes me think everything’s a setup or a trap. I can never believe that I am fine right where I want to be. Why am I so hard on myself? Why do I even think this much? I care and feel so deeply but it becomes unhealthy so fast because ocd makes me fixate and I stay there for a while. For some reason I let this breakup define my self worth. I let it topple into the ocd fear that I will never make it in life - that I won’t be successful, I’ll never get the career I want, the love I want, or the life I want. My OCD’s version of “logic” isn’t even logical. Yes, I understand how the breakup means feelings of low self worth which will then topple into feeling bad about other things. But why has my brain been wired to think this way? Why does it seem so easy for everyone else to function normally with life but not me? Honestly this is the first time in my life where I’m dedicated to focusing on myself and learning more about myself instead of others in my life and it’s a very odd and bizarre feeling. I’m excited of course, but I’m also scared. My ocd makes me ruminate like “what if I will never make the most of this life I’ve been given”, “what if I truly have no worth and the most I will ever be in other people’s lives is a background character”, “why do I care if I’m a background character or not? I should feel guilty and ignorant for assuming everyone will automatically like me”, “are people lying to me when they call me pretty, smart or kind?”, “I need to look and sound perfect in both pictures, videos and in real life. I will never be satisfied for accepting who I am now”, and a bunch of other annoying questions. But sometimes it’s like I just can’t take the reality for what it is but at the same time, but I also acknowledge that I know this is ocd talking. This is so, so difficult. Do I make any sense with what I’m saying? Can anyone help?
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