I saw someone on here talking about how they don’t think people with severe ocd can be in a relationship because they’re too much of a burden and it really really freaked me out. I know it’s not reasonable and they were probably just in a bad place but all I want is to grow up and have a husband and kids and it already hurts when my ocd is attacking that and making me feel undeserving but thinking that I’m completely unlovable makes me want to crawl in a hole. I just want to be happy and I’m afraid I’ll never be able to have a good life because of my stupid brain that latches into everything. I’ve already wasted so much time freaking out over random stupid stuff I just want to be normal and happy. I’m not sure if asking for help and advice around this is reassurance because it’s not really a part of my ocd it feels more like general anxiety. But I would like to hear other people’s experiences with dating or just generally living with ocd.

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

i saw that too:( all i have to say is you will live a happy life! just because you have ocd does not mean you won’t have a good future/life. if you want to get married and have kids do it!! you are deserving of so much and deserve love and more! it might be tricky with ocd but at one point in your life you will be calm with your ocd! my advice is to go to therapy if you aren’t in it already and do erp. it will help you sooo much and therapy is so good for you! i’m wishing you the best. you got this:)

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

I’ve been meaning to start therapy. My only concern is that I’ll be pushed into telling the therapist the nature of my thoughts and that’s the part that scares me. My brains telling me if I tell a therapist my thoughts they’ll say that I’m an exception to ocd and they’re true (which is pretty irrational I know) so I was wondering does yours push you into saying what your thoughts consist of? Or should I be able to get away with not saying what they’re about until I get comfortable?

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

@Anonymous it took me a bit to talk about my ocd themes and i know it can be very scary but with an ocd specialist they know about pretty much every intrusive thought they’ve heard it all. start by talking about a little bit of your thoughts maybe not the extreme ones and work your way up to talking about it more! take your time and do whatever makes you comfortable!

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

@sb12367 Thank you so much you’ve helped a lot!

stop.

Date posted: 4y

There’s a lot of stigma with dating people with mental illnesses and just being with people that have some sort of disability or dysfunction in general. I remember telling my advisor that I feel like a burden to anyone who would roommate with me which is why I didn’t want one. My advisor is blind and she has felt the same way. She told me that even though it’s common to feel like a burden, you’re not. Anyone who loves and cares about you will stick with you. No one is easy to be with period. We all have something that can make it difficult at times. That’s okay. I feel like there’s always that concern that having unaddressed issues or trauma will impact someone in your life and it can. My mom has unaddressed trauma and mental health issues. She is emotionally abusive towards me and struggles to parent. I think maybe that’s what they were referring to. Not that people with OCD or even severe OCD can’t be with people, but people who have completely unaddressed problems that are out of control can negatively impact how they interact with people. If you’re starting therapy or at least have some self awareness about it and are conscious about what you do as a partner, I think you’re okay. OCD shouldn’t stop anyone from doing anything.

Nica

Date posted: 4y

To a certain extent, I’d say they’re right. Any mental illness out of control affects those around you. It’s a hard truth, but it is what it is.

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

i think anyone can get married and do whatever they want. i don’t think people should be sharing any negative stuff like this. yes you are right it might make it hard sometimes but like i said if someone truly loves you and wants to be with you they will work it out and be a team and if it doesn’t work it doesn’t. it doesn’t hurt to try to fall in love. anyone can do it i feel theres a stigma around people with mental illness shouldn’t get married when really they can do whatever they want that’s their business and they will make it work

Nica

Date posted: 4y

@sb12367 You can do whatever you want, but you also have to think about the people around you. Life isn’t all about you, it’s about others as well. Healing is up to you, and it’s great to have a spouse that supports you. But after a certain point, it’s on you to fix yourself and realize if you’re being toxic, there’s a chance you’ll be broken up with.

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