- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
100% my father has been the cause of my OCD because of the abuse he has given me.. as well as my abusive ex boyfriend who wanted me to like women and only like him so he didn't feel jealous (I know he was ridiculous!)
- Date posted
- 6y
oh my gosh i’m so sorry! that’s so shitty. do you stuggle with HOCD also?
- Date posted
- 6y
Im so sorry that happened to you. I was also abused as a child and in a lot of abusive relationships growing up and yes i beleive it can be part of why hocd can hook in so tight. I was afraid of sex my whole life and sex repulsed because of it so it can be very scary when people assume that could be because of your sexuality and not underlying trauma.
- Date posted
- 6y
I used it! When I got with my boyfriend I was terrified that I like women... I know recovered mostly because of how accepting he has been he didn't require answers just kept continuing our relationship because he knew that it wasn't me (I kept telling him I don't want to be those things that I was scared of) and now I know what is real. I did it by ignoring the thoughts, by literally not caring.. it's so hard at first but when you do it.. you'll feel so so much better I know it is difficult and don't feel bad if you can't right away.. but please try whenever you can !
- Date posted
- 6y
i’m so sorry that happened oh my god! and yeah i also want a boyfriend but i’m just so scared because i know every guy isn’t like that but i feel like they are and i hate it. i’ve fucked up some good relationships in the past but i just get scared ya know? and that just gets me thinking maybe your scared because your actually gay and it’s a cover up and that’s when i start to feel numb like just not in my body i know it sounds crazy but it just makes me feel so shitty and anxious and i hate it
- Date posted
- 6y
I have a fear of men because of the abuse. I still love my boyfriend. This fear doesn't mean you are gay don't worry! It means you need help about feeling more comfortable around males. When you say "I know it sounds crazy" you admitted yourself that you know it isn't real, you know it is crazy that those two things aren't linked. It is a fear, it's not us. Our abuse doesn't make us, it gives us mental problems but we can get through it. Don't believe the OCD it is a bully!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 15w
As I’ve posted before, my friends has developed TOUGH hocd and has hit rock bottom :// She told me to ask y’all here if any of you have had a similar experience NOT reassurance (she doesn’t have NOCD). “Hi NOCD community. When I was like 5 I had this distant female cousin whom I played with and grew up. She had super short hair like a boy, but we low key had same interests in toys/tv series etc. and then at THAT age I got a very weird though which said: do you like her? And I remember getting a lot of anxiety and my stomach hurting cause why tf would I have that kind of thought about my female cousin? I remember ruminating about it the whole day, and the next day that thought disappeared and I never had that thought again. We grew up and obviously she’s my family like my sister. But now that I have HOCD, I keep thinking about that memory and I have so much anxiety about it and cry often about it. While growing up I’ve only had crushes on tons of boys at school etc. has anyone had a similar experience?” Thanks for reading if u did! We need support 😭🙏🏻
- Date posted
- 14w
i'm positive i was attracted to women before this got a thought when i was high thought really really deeply into and changed my life now im 24/7 scared im gay ive always been attracted to girls but early in my sexual life where im at ive always got with girls and seemed a little disapointed after would love help and to hear past experiences
- Date posted
- 13w
I’ve been struggling with HOCD for years, and it started with an intrusive thought about being gay when I was younger. It came up at age 12 and ever since, I’ve been trapped in a cycle of doubt and anxiety. I obsess over whether or not I’m secretly gay, even though I don’t feel that way at all. What makes it worse is the fear that I might have internalized homophobia, and that’s why I’m having these obsessive thoughts. I worry that my anxiety is a sign that I’m repressing something or rejecting part of myself. It feels like my mind keeps repeating the same question—am I gay?—and no matter how much reassurance I get, the fear doesn’t go away. I used to pray for my family members, fearing that if I didn’t, something bad would happen to them, and now it feels like I have to control these thoughts, or something will go wrong. For a while, it was quieter, but a week ago, the thoughts spiraled up again, and now the anxiety feels overwhelming again. It’s exhausting, and I don’t know how to break free from this constant loop of doubt. Has anyone dealt with the fear of internalized homophobia alongside HOCD? How do you manage the anxiety that comes with it?
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