so when i was younger i was sexually abused by my neighbor and his dad. i’ve always been afraid of dating after because i’m just scared all guys are liek that. do you guys think this could possibly be a cause of the HOCD?

this is going to be very very TMI. but i feel like i need to let it out bc it is one of the biggest triggers of my Homosexual OCD. i’ve liked boys my whole life , even though i was very shy with it i always did. whether it be on tv, movies, my older brother’s friends, my guy friends, guys in school, etc. u get the point. always loved guys always will even though OCD likes to tell me otherwise. however, when i was little say age 7, one of my older friends by a year she was 8, introduced me to porn. yeah i know i was really really young. i had a clue on what “sex” was (not really but i knew it was something adults did and had something to do with kissing). so when she showed me we would masturbate to it together and that was that. i would do this every so often alone on my computer from age 7. insanely young to even know about that i know. and then when me and her would practice kissing together. and we would dry hump each other. but the thing is we would take turns pretending to be “the boy”. like i would “be the boy” so she could practice and then she would “be the boy” so then i could. i know it’s normal for young girls even guys to engage in same sex experimentation because of curiousity. but i feel like my HOCD always picks at this telling me i’m gay. she and i are still such close friends and i never thought about our younger years until i got HOCD. i don’t have any attraction towards her and never did when i was younger. i always would pretend she was a boy. sometimes she’d even ask me and i would just get so uncomfortable kissing her it was all weird to me and not right. at a young age i knew that. i still have never been sexually attracted to a woman or had a desire to be with one . idk why i’m writing this. to let it out i guess. if u made it this far thanks

hey guys so i was wondering if it’s normal to not want to do anything sexual. i struggle with HOCD and it just makes me nervous/scared to do stuff with guys because i’m afraid that i won’t like it but i’ve done stuff before and have liked it. i just wanna know if that’s normal to just not feel much sexual desire to do things

I’m in my late 20s and when I was 6 years old I remember being in bed with a buddy and I pretended to hump him pretending it was a girl. 20 years later that moment causes me a lot of distress with HOCD. Even tho the thoughts never bothered me in past and I been attracted to girls and been in intimate relations with women why does that one moment bother me so much. The exposure therapy works for looking at pics of men but I can’t seem to fathom that one. What is y’all a advice?