I kind of touched on this before but can someone share their experience with the ‘backdoor spike’? When people say you have to tell the thought ‘maybe that’s true, maybe not, we will never know for sure’ it just stresses me out because I DO know for sure that it’s not true!! And saying ‘maybe, maybe not’ makes me feel worse because the fact that it’s even a possibility is disgusting in itself

Well the reason you do the maybe, maybe not is to show your brain you aren't going to go down the rabbit hole trying to prove you aren't one. Because your brain is seeing danger there isn't and if you just tell your brain there isn't danger it's going to find ways to show you there is. So what you have to do when your brain alerts you of danger is to basically belittle that danger signal which you do by being indifferent. Because just accepting a thought you don't enjoy goes against the danger signal your brain is trying to send. It just doesn't compute for it, so overtime it tells your brain that it isn't real because you aren't reacting to it with extreme emotion.