Okay I could use a little bit of help Little less than a week ago I got really drunk with a couple of friends, and went to a college party. I had intentions of getting with this girl but never ended up doing it or saying anything to them that would be considered cheating. I also have a girlfriend I love very much and if I wasn’t almost black out drunk I would never in a million years have intended on doing such a thing. Even though I didn’t end up actually doing anything I can’t stop obsessively thinking about it and feeling overwhelming guilt and anxiety. I made a promise to myself I would never even put myself in a position to even think such a thing again as long as I’m with her. I really don’t know what to do, I don’t feel it’s really necessary to tell her because I didn’t actually do anything and it would just be selfish of me to do that. Since I’d be hurting her more to take the burden off of me, and on top of that I really care about her and it would destroy me to lose her. How can I stop having this terrible terrible feeling? This anxiety and I think it’s guilt is too dreadful. Someone help

Hey! I have very similar obsessions where if I say the wrong thing or even feel like I make a slight mistake, I feel the compulsive need to tell somebody to relieve the guilt and anxiety. I completely understand the feeling. Okay, so I don’t know if you have ever heard of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, otherwise known as “DBT” but there is a concept/skill that is worth a try. I apologize for explaining if you already know it, but incase you don’t, here it goes: You have two parts of your mind. Rational mind, and emotional mind. Your goal is to have wise mind, which is a solid mix between rationality and emotions. So, if you think about your rational mind, what really happened? Check the facts. No emotion, just pure facts. And emotional mind, how did this make you feel, and why do you think you are ruminating? In order to reach wise mind, you have to understand these two and put them together to formulate a better thought process. So, if I’m correct, maybe assessing the situation and realizing that, “I feel as though I made a mistake, but I did not act on anything destructive. I will work through these feelings and understand that ruminating will not change the situation. I did not do anything bad, therefore I can try my best to move on.” I hope that helps. I’m here for you!

thank you and yes I’m very familiar since I believe I’m borderline as well as ocd. thank you this is really good advice, it just sucks because I can’t stop ruminating about it and feeling like such a terrible person. I will try this though, already started to think rationally since you’ve stated this, I just don’t want it to turn into almost like a compulsion

I too have borderline. I didn’t mean to trigger any compulsions, so I apologize if that did, but hopefully with time this can dissipate…

@blueberrysunshine your chillin man you didn’t trigger any lol. just sucks sitting w the feeling and I hope so too

I definitely understand the desire to think rationally about or argue with your OCD thoughts. There's just one problem. Your OCD isn't rational. Arguing or trying to disprove the thought only makes it stronger. You just need to train yourself to sit in the uncertainty and anxiety. Its not easy, but it can be done.

@Lms526 in this situation I don’t know what the uncertainty I’d be sitting with is though. that’s the only problem for me right now trying to locate it. from what I’ve stated what would you think it is