- Date posted
- 3y ago
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Hey! I have very similar obsessions where if I say the wrong thing or even feel like I make a slight mistake, I feel the compulsive need to tell somebody to relieve the guilt and anxiety. I completely understand the feeling. Okay, so I don’t know if you have ever heard of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, otherwise known as “DBT” but there is a concept/skill that is worth a try. I apologize for explaining if you already know it, but incase you don’t, here it goes: You have two parts of your mind. Rational mind, and emotional mind. Your goal is to have wise mind, which is a solid mix between rationality and emotions. So, if you think about your rational mind, what really happened? Check the facts. No emotion, just pure facts. And emotional mind, how did this make you feel, and why do you think you are ruminating? In order to reach wise mind, you have to understand these two and put them together to formulate a better thought process. So, if I’m correct, maybe assessing the situation and realizing that, “I feel as though I made a mistake, but I did not act on anything destructive. I will work through these feelings and understand that ruminating will not change the situation. I did not do anything bad, therefore I can try my best to move on.” I hope that helps. I’m here for you!
- Date posted
- 3y ago
thank you and yes I’m very familiar since I believe I’m borderline as well as ocd. thank you this is really good advice, it just sucks because I can’t stop ruminating about it and feeling like such a terrible person. I will try this though, already started to think rationally since you’ve stated this, I just don’t want it to turn into almost like a compulsion
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I too have borderline. I didn’t mean to trigger any compulsions, so I apologize if that did, but hopefully with time this can dissipate…
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@blueberrysunshine your chillin man you didn’t trigger any lol. just sucks sitting w the feeling and I hope so too
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I definitely understand the desire to think rationally about or argue with your OCD thoughts. There's just one problem. Your OCD isn't rational. Arguing or trying to disprove the thought only makes it stronger. You just need to train yourself to sit in the uncertainty and anxiety. Its not easy, but it can be done.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Lms526 in this situation I don’t know what the uncertainty I’d be sitting with is though. that’s the only problem for me right now trying to locate it. from what I’ve stated what would you think it is
- Date posted
- 3y ago
So in your case, you would need to just sit with the guilt and anxiety. The key is to just it wash over you without obsessing about it. Thats basically what ERP is. I also strongly suggest getting a therapist who understands OCD and specializes in ERP. My therapist through NOCD is great. www.treatmyocd.com
Related posts
- Date posted
- 17w ago
I’m having the need to confess that I was unfaithful to my girlfriend (even though I was not) because I drank too much Saturday night and don’t remember every single second from my evening. My OCD immediately goes to that I cheated on my girlfriend and I need to confess my sins. I know it’s only OCD, but the thoughts are extremely strong. Any suggestions? Thank you, community.
- Date posted
- 12w ago
I’ve been struggling with something that’s been really overwhelming, and I’m hoping to get some perspective from others here. I feel a lot of guilt about it, and I’m not sure if I’m alone in this experience. Lately, I’ve found myself daydreaming about romantic situations or getting caught up in ‘what if’ scenarios—where I wonder if I could develop feelings for someone else, or if someone develops feelings for me. The thing is, I’m in a relationship that I love, and I don’t want to act on these thoughts at all. What makes it even harder is that these thoughts often hyperfixate on one specific friend, and sometimes they feel entertaining or give me a dopamine rush. But then, of course, I feel even more guilty because it makes me feel like I’m betraying my boyfriend. These thoughts usually happen when I’m upset and looking for comfort, but then they morph into romantic scenarios, which makes me feel so disloyal. I’m constantly going back and forth between feeling curious or entertained by the thoughts and then feeling horrible for even allowing them to happen in the first place. I keep confessing these thoughts to my boyfriend, and he tries to be understanding. He’s just never been the type to daydream, so he doesn’t know if this is something other people experience or if it’s just me. I feel like such an awful girlfriend. Has anyone else dealt with something like this?
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- Date posted
- 8w ago
Hello all, I’ve dealt with various OCD themes and compulsions for pretty much as long as I can remember. In some periods of my life the thoughts and compulsions have been particularly severe, but I’ve also had years where I’m able to keep it under control. This has made me worry I don’t actually have OCD, especially because I haven’t been doing consistent therapy and my therapists have gone back and forth on whether I have OCD. In the past few years, I’ve struggled immensely with false memory ocd, and right now I’m going through probably the most severe episode of my life. I love my boyfriend with all my heart. A few times that I’ve gone out drinking I’ve had the thought before “what if I lost control and cheated tonight” and it’s bothered me severely. Two times before, it’s gotten to the point of convincing myself that because I talked to a man that meant I had cheated on my boyfriend and just couldn’t remember. It has never turned out to be true. About a month ago, I went out with friends and had too much to drink. I was really ashamed of myself the next morning, particularly because I always try to drink cautiously now that I know it can trigger my anxiety. I am ashamed to admit I do not remember the very end of the night getting in my uber and going home. I woke up anxious and extremely worried and immediately started off by worrying if I could have tried to kiss my friend and not remembered. I called him and was immediately reassured nothing had happened, I simply drank too much and went home at the end of the night. I started feeling better, but then remembered a moment I had been in the bathroom. I remembered chatting with people in line about how long the line was, and then being in the bathroom on my phone. I then felt like I remembered people knocking and saying to myself “that wasn’t that long” and leaving. There is nothing concrete that I remember that in any way indicates I cheated, and in fact I have texts with my boyfriend from the whole night telling him I loved him. My friend told me that the only time I was ever apart from him was about 5 minutes and that when he came back I was in the same exact spot he left me in. However, when I remembered being in the bathroom, I thought to myself “what if you cheated on him in the bathroom”/ “oh my god did you cheat on him in the bathroom” and then a series of images of me performing sexual acts popped into my head. I’ve poured over my memory and truly do not remember meeting anyone, talking to anyone, or even finding anyone attractive that night, but the fact that I was drinking makes me worried I’m just forgetting and these images could be real. I’ve been constantly ruminating on these fears for the past month, to the point that the only relief I feel is when I’m able to fall asleep. I’m a law student and it’s becoming extremely difficult to keep up with my classes. I’ve been google searching, asked chat gpt for advice, confessed my fears to my boyfriend, asked for reassurance from pretty much everyone in my life, and even emailed the bar asking for security footage (which I know all sounds insane). I’m a naturally guilty person and feel bad about small things, so I really don’t think I would be capable of cheating and then nonchalantly texting my boyfriend, but these images feel so real that it’s terrifying. I’ve also seen a lot about how I would “just know” and that begins to scare me because then I think “you do just know, you did it” even though I really don’t think I did. I know these posts are not supposed to be for reassurance seeking, I’m just so exhausted and feeling really depressed. I’m wondering if anyone has experienced something similar and has any advice. I’m also wondering if images can feel more real the more you ruminate on them or if it’s a sign of memory. Thank you so much for listening.
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