Anonymous
- Date posted
- 3y
Giving upGiving up
- Date posted
- 3y
I feel like people with HOCD and actually were gay are worrying about coming out in a hostile environment, they aren’t stressing about actually being attracted to men/women.
InABubbleInABubble
- Date posted
- 3y
Absolutely. That makes sense
WhatabtmeWhatabtme
- Date posted
- 3y
Trying to find certainty about this is the same as trying to find certainty about your sexuality. Your ocd will make you think the answer matters or will be helpful, but it won't. You won't get certainty and obsessing over the nature of ocd will perpetuate your soocd just as much as obsessing over your sexuality. Trust me, it's a vicious cycle.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 3y
So does that mean someone can have HOcD and realise they are Gay? As my therapist said people with hocd or PoCD are not gay or pedophiles??? So are you saying someone can have PoCD and realise they are a pedophile. This is where I am getting confused.
Giving upGiving up
- Date posted
- 3y
No, you have ocd about actually being gay and sleeping with dudes. They might have ocd about coming out because they are worried their family or people they know wont accept them. The thing causing the ocd is different. I don’t think most people with HOCD realize they are gay because it’s just ocd.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 3y
So does HOCd mean I am not Gay and POCD mean I am not a pedophile. But your saying you don’t think most people with Hocd realise they are Gay so you’re saying it in a manner that it can happen. So can someone with PoCD realise they are a pedophile? But then sometimes I think I am just scared to come out
K K
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes it’s possible they can come to a realization that it’s not OCD but this is rare.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 3y
So I could realise what I am feeling is true as I get no disgust from the thoughts so then wouldn’t that mean they have been misdiagnosed and were an actual pedophile then
K K
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
No. There’s a possibility that everyone with OCD can act on their thoughts but the thoughts and feelings are just thoughts and feelings. These emotions or thoughts have no insight or truth to them. Unless you have a plan or deep desire to engage in pedophilia you aren’t a pedophile. A pedophile becomes a pedophile when they act on their thoughts and inappropriately abuse or molest kids. What Michael Greenberg is saying is just because you have homosexual obsessions it doesn’t mean anything about your sexuality.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 3y
Could you explain in more depth what you mean about the Michael Greenberg comment as this has left me in so much distress. So does HOCD mean I am not Gay as that what therapists have told me and my family? All the books, audios I read say the same. Why does it not have anything to do with sexuality???
K K
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Michael Greenberg is excellent young clinical psychologist but he sometimes says things without thinking about implications. Greenberg is basically saying you’re obsessions do not define you. Other therapists told me things that in hindsight were completely wrong and invalid about my obsessions and it wasn’t til I saw an OCD specialist that they confirmed that these obsessions were not me but a manifestion of OCD. Are you seeing an OCD specialist? Because regular therapists misdiagnose OCD regularly because they’re not trained in it.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 3y
When you say completely wrong and invalid what do you mean? What did the say to you. I have been diagnosed with OCD by over 8 professionals who said I am not Gay and it’s OCD? So are you saying the obsessions mean these are not true then? No therapist has ever said to me people with HoCd realise they are Gay. What did therapists say to you??
K K
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
99 percent of people HOCD/SO-OCD aren’t gay. Same things happens with gay people who have heterosexual obsessions and think they are in denial about being gay and are really straight. If eight professionals say you have OCD then you shouldn’t have any reason to not believe them. This is the only time I’ll give you reassurance. Obsessions do not equal desire. It looks like Dr. Greenberg’s article triggered you and sent you spiraling. It’s a very very very rare occurrence where it’s not OCD and the person was actually gay but it likely happens with one person if ever to a therapist.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 3y
So if I have been diagnosed with ocd does that mean I am not?
K K
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Have you been taught and practiced ERP? Have you gone over your core fear and values with your therapist?
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 3y
Then I start thinking could I be Gay and just have ocd about been straight as I feel no attraction towards women at all.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 3y
I don’t know what my core fear is? And no I haven’t done ERP but I get all these graphic gay sex images and feel I like them
K K
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
What type of treatment are you receiving for your OCD?
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 3y
Nothing at the moment. So does this mean I am not Gay as I want to get to the end of this and realise I am not and over 8 therapists said this will happen?
K K
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
You need to find an OCD Therapist/Specialist that practices ERP. I can’t give you reassurance. It’s not about whether you are or you aren’t gay. It’s about finding happiness despite these obsessions.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 3y
But you said HOCD means this is not true? And so have over 8 therapists? So are you saying it could be true then? Is this the same for POCD it’s not about whether I am pedophile or not but if I am why was I diagnosed with OCd
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 3y
You’re really confusing me as you said HOCd means this is not true???
K K
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 3y
I am so confused what do you mean it’s not about whether I am gay or aren’t gay? Isn’t that same as POCD finding out if we are or aren’t? How can therapist say it’s ocd and then someone realise they are pedophile????
K K
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
It doesn’t matter if the thoughts are about pedophilia, homosexuality, harm, contamination, suicidal, relationships, the content is junk it’s the way you react to these thoughts. If the eight professional therapists say you have OCD then YOU HAVE OCD. Otherwise they would diagnosed you with Pedophilia.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 3y
@Fjrath So this is what I am saying does this mean I am not Gay or a pedophile then if diagnosed with OCD
K K
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous Yeah, you probably aren’t gay or a pedophile. Is it possible, yes, is it probable, no. Please go seek an OCD specialist who practices ERP so they can help you better.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 3y
@Fjrath Why is it possible mate
K K
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous Because we live in uncertainty. As my therapist explained and reminded me it’s possible that I can act on my thoughts, anything is possible but does it mean I want to do it? No. It’s possible that I’ll go take a shower with milk and peanut butter but is it likely? No. It’s possible I can go out and get hit by a car. It’s possible a tree can fall on me when I’m coming back home from work. It’s possible I can choke on my food and die on 2-16-2022. Anything is possible but is it probably? No. We live in a world or uncertainty but OCD makes us realize what others don’t.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 3y
@Fjrath I just want to realise I am not Gay and my therapist said I will realise this isn’t true. Why do I get no dislike from the thoughts and feel I am liking the gay porn
K K
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous If your therapist means you can’t come to the conclusion you’re not gay then they are right with OCD it’s not our job to figure it out, we will never satisfy the OCD because it’ll always doubt. I think you should maybe seek another opinion with someone who’s experienced in OCD and practices ERP.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 3y
@Fjrath Why would I need a second opinion when all the ocd therapists have said it’s OCD and I am not Gay. So are 8 therapists wrong and this could be true? As I am going on what they are saying and even my family says it’s ocd and I am not They have said this isn’t true and I am not Gay? Every therapist has said this OCd and people with hocd aren’t Gay.
K K
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous Because if they aren’t doing ERP with you then they aren’t helping you. Nothing works for OCD except ERP.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous They also said I would come to conclusion I am not Gay at the end of it.
K K
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous Yes that’s true but that happens when you fully recover.
K K
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@Fjrath Or along the way when you make the breakthrough of how your OCD works and it’s patterns.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 3y
@Fjrath So why didn’t you say that to me in the beginning mate that I would realise I am not
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 3y
But this article says it’s not denial or confusion but then you say it’s not about whether you are gay or not? But it isn’t ultimately isn’t it? So wouldn’t you suggest to people to go experiment? Because if they liked it how can it be OCd
K K
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Don’t pay attention Dr. Greenberg he says controversial things without explaining them.
Related posts
Ellie.
- Date posted
- 25w
I’m begging ANYONE help I can’t take it anymore!!
I feel awful that I keep coming on here whenever I’m down bad but oh my gosh OCD is the most painful shit that I have EVER experienced in my life and I have a physical chronic illness…. I hate to say it but I hate living right now it’s too painful… im crying as I type to the point where my stomach is hurting, I have pretty severe ocd I do have generalized anxiety and idk if that is connected with ocd but because of that I have most of the subtypes REAL EVENT OCD,POCD,ZOCD,ROCD,SOCD HARM OCD, you name it and I got it!!! a lot of also why I have have those theme is trauma growing up and involving those things^ as of right now i’m 25 and a women with the most loving boyfriend in the entire world before my ocd hit me I NEVER questioned my love and care and attraction with the love of my life I always knew I was going to marry and be with this person the rest of my life! Now with ocd it confuses me soooo much and now I think I’m gay and didn’t realize or indenial and listen I get it “don’t look for reassurance!” “It’s not the thing ocd is attacking that is the problem ocd is the actual problem!” Here’s the thing with that if I’m in a relationship and I’m gay that would mean I would have to leave that said relationship and to say that “oh yeah that stuff happens and you’ll move on” is absolutely devastating to me this is THE LOVE OF MY LIFE and your telling me that iv been lying to myself this whole time or that I didn’t realize?!?!? And that sexuality can change (even though some say it can’t google says otherwise and some people have said it can’t idek anymore) and all this other BULLSHIT I can’t take it WHY?!?! why does this have to happen why can’t I just be with my love the rest of my life?!? and yes before anyone says anything I have been attracted to girls more so when I was younger watching lesbian porn liking the body’s and fantazing them sexually it stopped when I got older but I still don’t get disgusted with women who are pretty it just makes me uncomfortable because I’m with the love of my life and before I remember talking to my partner and discussing certain childhood things I experienced and we discussed that we both could be a little bi and for certain I’m (demi sexual so I don’t even really care about looks) and I truly didn’t care!! NOW I do care even with being bi because again I don’t like thinking about anyone else but my partner but I do also know my parents are homophobic and I do think about if I am gay they wouldn’t be okay with that and I also dont want to deal with that so now I sound like in indenial right?!???? I didn’t even care about labels before my ocd it just didn’t matter but now it’s effected my sex life and it’s hard for me to enjoy sex with being so confused I’m so confused I googled everything can you still have sexual fantasies with same gender but still be straight? Can you fantasize about same gender or imagine marrying them all of it !!! And non of that disgusts me it just makes me uncomfortable AGIAN only bc I just love the partner I’m with right now!!! I’m so fucking confused do I have to leave my partner and accept that I’m gay is that going to happen in the future if I get better with ocd and find out it’s been true all along?!???
geodrimilis
- Date posted
- 15w
I need this to end.
I’ve completely lost myself. I can’t focus on my studies, I can’t go to the gym. Dang it I can’t even be around my male friends normally anymore. I got no idea why or how this happened but the only thing I know for sure is that I never questioned my sexuality neither doubted it. I never cared in general. I just liked girls. I keep testing and keep testing and keep testing my arousal but no matter how many times I see but I don’t feel the same way for guys that I do with girls my mind will always try to make me believe that I am gay. It’s like it’s forcing me into an identity I never asked for. But at the end of the day like my psychologist told me. Sexuality doesn’t change. So since I never felt anything for guys in my life it’s ocd. I’ve been up and down for 5 months now and while the last week I was feeling way better. Monday now and I’m back to zero. I just want to go back when everything was normal. I can’t keep living with this.
vaiiolyn
- Date posted
- 14w
Lesbian with Sexual Orientation OCD
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
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