Does anyone else feel guilty for making stupid jokes that feel innocent but later you worry paints your significant other in a bad light?! I'm obsessing right now and feel absolute guilt after making what at first felt absolutely harmless

I sometimes come back to this particular feeling and thought. So when I first met my partner I wasn’t immediately attracted to him. I don’t think I thought he was ugly by any means. I met him at work along with another new go worker and I thought the other co worker was cuter than my current partner. That alone fills me with guilt but what’s even WORSE was that I told a friend “Oh man I wish that guy was in our group instead of the other.” Something like that. I feel so much freaking guilt over that comment. I adore my partner and this always fills me with shame. I think my partner is the most beautiful man in the world and I kick myself that that was my first thought or worlds about him. I don’t know what to do. I want to confess but how do you even say that to your partner? I just feel so guilty and awful inside….

Ive been having terrible irrational thoughts that Ive cheated and don’t remember. Like the guilt made me repress the memory and im actually an awful person and someone’s gonna expose me. I know it’s not true and I love my boyfriend more than anything but i feel so guilty for something ive never done. its been making my life so difficult and i dont know how to explain it without sounding like im covering something up :( Its making me think that I need to break up and i don’t want too, but the guilt and anxiety is eating away at me. I feel like I need to get better before I continue on or i’m going to permanently ruin everything with my mental illness

17f I don't know if it's very ocd related cause I actually did something wrong but I have another serious year long real event ocd which caused me moral ocd and now I feel extremely guilty because of that thing I'm going to talk about because now I feel like me being a better person after my big event was just a lie if i did this So basically me and my friend were at our other friends birthday and she came with her boyfriend. I saw him like once before and at first I didnt find him attractive at all. But the second time we met before the party (me, my friend and her boyfriend shared an uber to get there) I kinda noticed that he is kinda cute but yk I didn't do anything about it since he is my friends boyfriend. Then I got drunk at the party and when I'm drunk I become way way more talkative and affectionate, so I became more attracted to him. I mean I didn't like full on flirt with him, but later I realized I was purposefully making jokes I knew he would laugh at and enjoyed every piece of attention I got from him, like I would say stuff that I knew would catch his attention without openly trying to innitiate a conversation with him, cause it would be too suspicious or obvious. Now I don't really remember was I actually fully aware that I'm borderline flirting with my friends boyfriend, I mean I wasn't blackout drunk, but I was drunk and it was 2 months ago. I remember when I got sober and started recalling the other night I felt guilty and promised myself that when we meet again I won't repeat it. So here comes another party we are both invited too. It was my friends (his girlfriends) birthday, and it was a bit far away from our town, so we had to take a bus and then also an uber. Since I can't pay with my card my friend was supposed to call and uber for me and I would just pay her back in cash. But she was very busy with preparing stuff for the party so she asked her boyfriend to call me an uber and then text me the details. So I was extremely neutral and short with my answers to him like the bare minimum cause I remembered how I promised myself that I won't initiate anything weird. Then he met me where the uber stopped to show me the way to the house they rented for the party and still while sober I was very neutral with him. Like polite but not overly friendly yk And then everyone got drunk. Especially me, I usually drink a lot at parties and this time wasn't an exception. And again. I wasnt openly flirting with him. And this time I actually didnt innitiate interactions with him a lot at first. But then I got really drunk and me and my friend were joking around how I actually made out with her before her boyfriend did when we played the bottle a year ago. And we were like "it would be funny to tell him". So basically he came in the room and my drunk ass says something like "hey bro fun fact I actually made out with your gf before you got a chanse to do so" trying to tease him. The dude looked shocked and I thought it was funny. But then he kinda pulled me to the side and asked wtf did I mean by that. I didn't really get why is he so confused and said "I mean yeah we did but like it wasn't serious we just played bottle and there was also a bunch of other girls she kissed it was just a game yk" but after I said this he got upset. So he went to talk with his girlfriend and I realized I maybe shouldn't have said that so I texted her asking if everything is okay and apologized for making that joke and messing things up. She responded that everything it's fine and I didn't really mess everything up it was just a misunderstanding. So after we continued drinking they came back and he ended up sitting next to me on the couch and I still felt bad and a bit akward so I apologized for that joke and he said that it's all good he just got it very wrong, he thought I meant that we made out today like at this party instead of a year ago. So drunk me just formulated this very poorly and he who was also drunk understood it in a very wrong way so its fine now when he knows the context So basically apart from this dumb joke drama I also feel guilty for I wasn't really trying to interact with him a lot but I wasn't stopping it if he did? Again he was just being drunk and freidnly and I know he's loyal to his gf and wouldn't hit on me so even if I'm attracted to him and enjoy his attention I'm not stealing anyone's bf? Like that was my drunk logic But I feel so bad now. Especially because of this joke. I didn't make it for sole purpose of grabbing his attention, I genuinely thought it's funny. But still the attention thing was a part of the motive. And then during the apology, even though I was sincerely apologizing cause I genuinely felt bad, I was still kinda enjoying him talking to me??? So yeah not good not only I was kinda crushing on a friends bf I also made him upset because I wanted to talk to him and tease him by making that dumbass joke