How do you explain your daily torment to your spouse in a way they'll understand? I have pure o and huge avoidance behaviors. My husband thinks I'm lazy or I feel too much or I overcomplicate everything. He tells me I'm negative and I always think the worst and I'm exhausting. :( I wish more than anything he understood that I procrastinate making dinner bc I picture poisoning my whole family and it scares me so much that I just order take out again. Or I ask him to clean my daughters ear piercings bc I pick at my own skin and if I touch her ears she'll get a horrible infection and get septic and die bc I touched her newly pierced ears (even with the alcohol stuff). Or I lay around playing games on my phone because I need distractions to numb out so I don't think about hurting anyone or cheating on him. How do you say that to the father of your kids without him trying to take them away from you? He doesn't even believe in mental illness. He sees it as weakness. :( Any help would be awesome bc I don't know what to do.

Lms526

Date posted: 3y

I can so relate to all of this! I have pure o and major avoidance compulsions as well. I have had thoughts of making people sick. Its hard when someone you love doesn't understand or support you. But you are not alone. Do you have a therapist that understands OCD and specializes in ERP? It has made a huge difference for me. ERP is hard and terrifying, but it does work. Even if your husband doesn't support you or understand. All of us here do! We are here for you.

Estrid

Date posted: 3y

So sorry to hear. Are you in therapy? Seek help. Can you show him some website with info about OCD? "When a family member has OCD" is a great book. But if he dont want to understand at all😢 its hard, but you are still responsible for how you handle your suffering, you can learn, and you can practice exposures, I hope you'll find a therapist, and maybe you can find support in a friend or another relative.

North21Star

Date posted: 3y

I do have a therapist but idk if she's licensed in ocd stuff. We've talked about it but I've also gone through some big personal traumas in the past year and we talk mostly about that. She tends to focus more on the anxiety. But we've done some erp therapy but it seemed to make my ocd all I'd think about. Like it was running my whole life in a different way. So I avoid. I don't go to therapy much anymore. I stopped erp. And it got better for awhile thinking I could control my own life but it's come back stronger and more frequently than ever. I never even told my therapist about the poisoning thoughts bc I didn't want her to have child services take my children away. (Can they do that?) So it's mostly my fault therapy wasn't working bc I wasn't completely honest with her about how bad it is. My husband is a good man. He really is one of the good ones. He just doesn't experience any mental illness so if I even bring up mine he thinks I'm just making excuses. It's tough. I just want there to be a way I can make him understand so he can be in it with me and for me instead of feeling like we're against each other with it.

Estrid

Date posted: 3y

Ok...I think its important to be honest with the therapist. Can you seek put to find a therapist with OCD competence? You have to make decisions about how to manage life with this condition. OCD doesnt get over by itself. If your husband is a good one, thats great! Show him some good website with info. Buy Jon Hershfileds book for relatives. Go to therapy again. The worst thing we can do is to let time pass and just think about what to do...There is hope for you! Take care.

Lms526

Date posted: 3y

ERP is definitely not fun or easy, but it does work. They cannot take your children away because of a thought. There is a big difference between having an intrusive thought and intention. Everyone has intrusive thoughts. The problem is not the thought. The real problem is the weight and meaning we give the thought. One of my major themes were harm and suicide OCD. I was terrified to tell my therapist about some of my intrusive thoughts. I thought for sure I was going to end up in jail or involuntarily committed to a psych ward. Her expression didn't even change. I guarantee you a therapist that understands OCD has heard it all before. They won't be shocked by anything you tell them. Recovery is possible. But it takes time and a lot of hard work. If you aren't willing to do the work, then nothing will change. OCD is a chronic condition. It won't just go away on its own. Believe me, I know. I lived with OCD for over 30 years because I didn't know I had it. OCD wasn't even on my radar until last month. You can never get back the time OCD has taken from you. But you can make a decision to not allow it to take any more time from you. ERP is the best treatment for OCD.

UnknownPersonel

Date posted: 21w

Dad with pocd

Please read this. I’ve had ocd pretty much a lot of my life but never knew what it was until my senior year of highschool. I’m 21 with 2 kids and i believe i’ve had pocd a little bit before my daughter was born (which was 8 months ago). It made me start looking at all kids differently and i hate it. But it really started triggering me about 3 months ago. I’ve been thinking if i’d intentionally touched or harmed my kids the wrong way, or any kids for that matter. This started giving me false memories (or at least hope they are). I’ve been having panic attacks, yelling at myself, punching walls, praying, and even thoughts of ending my own life. I grew up in a severe toxic household throughout my childhood and teenage life. I’ve never wished that on my kids since i became a dad. I wanna give them the life i never got. I look back my photos of my children and i feel like i’m a complete fraud of a dad. I cannot look at my kids or be around them a lot of times. I can’t hold my daughter right. I can’t change their diaper when they need it. Even my son came and was hugging on me the other night while i was watching tv and i acted like a stranger to him. I can very little do this stuff sometimes because it’s either i get relief or i push my thoughts as far back as i can. I get scared if i did something to not just my kids, but any other kids in the past. I have such a a great life and such a beautiful family. It was hard and stressful at first being young with a family but i couldn’t be more thankful at all for them. I’m just so lost and stressed right now that i just don’t know what to do anymore

PastSelf25

Date posted: 18w

OCD

I feel like the worst kind of person and I am ruining my husband. I don’t know how I’m going to be able to change.

PBubblegum

Date posted: 12w

My partner has severe OCD

Hello i got this app hoping to maybe find some support for my partner i thought about reddit but reddit has become a hateful place and i figured this is a safe place. i love my partner more than anything and he’s been struggling with OCD his whole life he has a hard time talking about it with anyone because it’s too painful he’s stated that it’s gotten worse as he’s gotten older His biggest issue right now is overwhelming thoughts of his actions having tragic outcomes and being unable to stop these obsessive thoughts (such as needing to check out door handle 5 times to make sure it’s locked but still panicking that it’s unlocked) he’s not open to one on one therapy or meds although he loves learning and watching informative videos i fear he’s afraid to confront his OCD or just afraid nothing will help i really wanna help him live a stress free and happy life he deserves it would anyone possibly have any ways to naturally help with OCD or recommend any great individuals that could share techniques on managing OCD or helping your partner with OCD? i would very much appreciate it!

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