For the first time, in a very long time I feel really motivated to do something with my life. I want to start going to the gym, do slimming world, I want to look into doing meditation, go food shopping tomorrow, try different little things to enhance my mood and distract my OCD. But I’m worried that it’s late at night and I’m feeling this now and by the morning my usual lazy, feel sorry for myself, unmotivated self will be back and I won’t get any of it done. I’m also worried that I haven’t taken my tablets properly for the last week and a bit as I changed the place that I usually keep them and I keep forgetting about them and I only have two left and I keep forgetting to order new ones. I don’t usually feel as though my tablets do much for me but this morning I felt intense sadness over the smallest of things and was going straight to suicidal thoughts and now I’m on top of the world, motivated for change. I’ve not noticed it before as I’ve never been on tablets long enough to feel a change before so I don’t know whether it means they work because I haven’t felt these intense high and lows in a while, my moods been pretty stable, almost numb like. Like I don’t really feel anything, nothing fazes me much, only my moments of anxiety when I’m in the obsession-ritual cycle. Or that I’m aware I haven’t taken them properly and I’m creating this feeling or I’m feeling these intense feelings because of situations that have caused them. Anyone else able to relate or shed some light on this?

Hey all! I just joined this app and wanted to ask for your thoughts and encouragement on something I’ve been experiencing lately. (*long post ahead*) I’ve had an OCD diagnosis for about 2 years now, along with generalized anxiety, depersonalization symptoms, and depression diagnoses since my teens (I’m 24). Been lucky to have great family and healthcare that have helped me get out of some very dark places. I’m currently on a very high dose of Prozac, a smaller dose of Wellbutrin, and have been in therapy pretty consistently since my late teens. Life is pretty good....I’m in grad school and am doing well socially and academically. I am moving out to another part of the country to do an internship for 10 weeks, starting this Friday. But with all of this great and wonderful stuff in life, I have definitely noticed my OCD getting worse, despite my meds and self care. I’ve been having more obsessive fears and doing the rituals and compulsions to soothe those fears. It’s taking up much more of my mental space than it had for the past 2 years or so. I think part of it is the big change of moving to a new place temporarily, finishing my first year of grad school, and going from being insanely busy to having a month of downtime that is just now wrapping up. I’m getting scared that things are going to get really bad again — so far I’ve been managing with mindfulness and acceptance, and reading up on tactics for managing intrusive thoughts and accompanying compulsions. But I am so afraid that things will get to be into the dark and horrible place they were in 2 years ago. My OCD has been really mild the past few years, since I started the meds, and to feel it flare up again is really REALLY distressing. It makes me scared that the meds aren’t working, or that all the thoughts and fears are real. I know this isn’t the truth, logically, but my OCD and anxiety are running with it. I’m just wondering if anyone else has experienced this (change-related flare ups and the fears accompanied by them) and has tools to manage relapse or flare ups. Thanks in advance :) :)

Hey, I haven’t been on here in a longgg time and this isn’t necessarily OCD related but I want to tell someone how I’m feeling in the hopes that maybe someone else sort of relates and then maybe we can talk? I don’t know, I’m just a little scared at the moment and could do with some comfort I guess. Ok so the best way to describe how I’m feeling is empty. I’m not sure that I actually feel emotions much anymore. I’m not happy or sad and it’s scaring me, but obviously at the same time it isn’t because the only proper emotions I’m experiencing right now are hopelessness and emptiness. I just want to be able to feel again and I really don’t want this to be a big problem. Does anyone know if it’s even possible for me to get my emotions back? Can I back to normal, although I’m not too sure how normal feels anymore, or how feeling feels anymore. Also, I’m not even sure if that is what’s going on with me. I can barely feel things but at the same time my brains like nah it’s probably nothing, you’ve just not got any reason to feel anything right now. I feel exhausted and without motivation everyday. Thank you to anyone who’s read this, I hope nobody relates but please tell me if you do. I just want to talk.

I got prescribed Zoloft by an online app. I took one and my anxiety went away for the day, but so did my OCD thoughts. I couldn’t overthink while conversing with my family or overanalyze a movie I was watching (and relate it obsessively and emotionally back to myself) which felt so relaxing, but it dulled my emotions to the point I felt detached from the people I loved. When the first dose wore off, my OCD thoughts flooded back in, trying to cause panic and I recognized them since they were gone. Now I don’t know what to do. I don’t like dulling my emotions with the medication, but I hate the OCD thoughts. I’m also scared of never having in-depth thoughts if I continue to take them. Does anyone have an opinion on using anti-anxiety meds for OCD?