Hi guys Been having a hard time lately with my religious ocd today. I went to church yesterday (personally I didn’t feel like going) but I went for my mom. And I’ve been angry at god and Jesus. There have been a lot of changes lately that have been stressing me out. I have a disability that I need nursing to watch me all the time. I will talk about that another time. It’s lent and they were just talking about how you have to go to confession or you will go straight to hell when you die. It struck my religious ocd like crazy. Personally I believe that if you feel badly and talk to god about it. You don’t have to go to confession. Cause your confessing to god. I’m 25 now and I graduated collage at the age of 23. Which was the most exciting thing ever. But when I was in freshman or beginning of sophomore year I was having a hard time with the transiting of college even though I commute. The reading was a lot for me and even in high school I hated reading and it took me longer to get threw the homework. We had an essay that we had to get done with reading it was nuts. And I couldn’t get it done. My mom also had to go to the emergency room because of her high blood pressure and they thought she was having a heart attack. it was nuts at the time. So I made a horrible choice and cheated on the essay because I couldn’t find the damn chapter in the book for the last question and it was due at 12:00am and I was cutting close to the time. I was caught but the professor gave me a second chance and I got a B+ on the essay. I feel horrible and guilty still for doing it. And graduation was hard for me cause I felt I didn’t deserve it at all. My mom doesn’t know about this at all since she was really sick at the time and I didn’t want to stress her out any more then she was. I pray to god and Jesus to forgive me. I tell myself Jesus gave me a second chance and I showed him that I will do the right thing. But I still feel guilty and I replay it in my head all the time. Do you guys think I’m going to go to hell for cheating. Or do you think Jesus forgives me. I’ve been worrying about it all night. Thank you for your help.

Does anyone feel like god didn't forgive them even after confessing? Doing alot of sins and confessed but still have this fear of thoughts telling you you had so bad Thoughts about him and that you don't deserve to be forgiven? Or it's too late? And anything religious triggers you?

I put a trigger warning because I will be discussing themes of end of times. I feel like I'm not following God's will. God knows ultimately that things were going to speed up end of times wise. A few months ago, I had a random thought to call someone I had affected with past sin and apologize to him although I did not know he was there, my sin affected him. I know he deserves an apology, but I chalked it up to ocd and treated it as such for months fast forward to now I feel like I'm completely against God. Horrifying. It's a complex situation I caused and therefore though I know he deserves an apology I'm really scared as I created a mess of things. I've been praying that God help certain things come to fruition so I could be exposed and help minister to others if that's what He's calling me to do but no answer. Instead horrible images and thoughts and feelings of doom. I see signs to apologize everywhere. I'm at my wits end. Because I tend to get ahead of myself I asked two family members and they said don't and then I see things that say Though people in your life mean well, don't go based on what they say only what God says. I tell God to do His will and I'll follow, do you think He'll listen. I even told Him I straight up don't want to do it, not because He doesn't deserve one, but because last time I apologized to someone else I didn't do it right and it was messy. I feel so evil, like a wolf in sheep's clothing. I also remember looking up morbid things for what???? Only to be disturbed pray about it and leave by why search it up again? I also fantasized alot about guys I've been single forever, late 20s now, I'm trying to go to church and my crush is there and I try to stop thinking about him because I know it's delusional but the thoughts don't leave. I'm so tired I want to stop but stop what? Living? I want to stick to God as close as possible. I'm going crazy.

so my dad is Jewish and my mom is Christian. I used to go to Hebrew school when I was younger, but recently I started going to church and becoming a Christian and turning to Jesus and when I recently got diagnosed with OCD a couple months ago I had really really bad religious OCD. I had very disrespectful thoughts about Jesusand God, but mainly Jesus. and I had very disturbing thoughts about Jesus that made me avoid a lot of things, but I know that’s making the OCD worse. I’m doing erp currently my religious OCD has honestly gone away. I’ve dealt with it. I am managing it but ever since I’ve had religious OCD and had disturbing and disrespectful thoughts about God in Jesus mainly Jesus, I’ve felt a awkward distance between me, God and Jesus and it just feels like I’m going to hell and they don’t love me anymore and I haven’t felt the same presence from God ever since I’ve had religious OCD and I’ve had some situations that I felt like I blasphemy the Holy Spirit and I committed blasphemy and I just feel like God really doesn’t love me anymore and I’m done for i’ve kind of been numb to it so it’s not really bothering me, but I want a better relationship with God and Jesus it just feels like they don’t love me anymore. Has anyone else gone through this? and I’ve had situations where I felt like I was very disrespectful and mocked God and Jesus, but mainly Jesus. And i freaked out for days didn’t feel like myself repented multiple times pretty sure this is just religious OCD but seriously I have not felt the same with my relationship with God and Jesus. OCD has really really affected my life and it sucks. I’m going through Harm OCD right now. So religious OCD has kinda gone away but I just want a better relationship with God and Jesus sorry this text is so long. Has anyone else gone through this?