- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
You aren’t alone ! I’m a googler too so I spend so many hours a day just googling my thoughts and obsessions which interferes with my daily life because I can’t focus on school & work
- Date posted
- 3y
It is so hard to stop googling!!! I just feel an anxiety at not acting on it.
- Date posted
- 3y
I Google ROCD articles all the time for reassurance on what thoughts it can give, so you're not alone on that!!!
- Date posted
- 3y
I have relationship OCD as well. It was going okay with therapy and ERP. Then I got strep throat. Every time I get strep my symptoms increase dramatically. My family and I believe it is due to a condition called PANDAS. Anyways, I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over a year and now it has become so hard to be around him because of my guilt I feel around my intrusive thoughts towards him. I just want to go back to how it used to be when I was happy with him. It has gotten to the point where idk what is OCD and what isn’t.
- Date posted
- 3y
I noticed my thoughts/feelings became more difficult when I was sick too. I think pain, lacking sleep, and hunger can aggravate my ocd.
- Date posted
- 3y
I feel that so much on a very personal level!!!! It's so hard to be around my bf sometimes because if all the guilt I feel and the panic that I'm gonna say one thing to ruin our relationship....
- Date posted
- 3y
My best friend of almost five years and I started dating about five months ago. I love him so much, but my mind keeps questioning whether I love him "the right way." We have romantic moments and intimate moments, but when those aren't going on I find myself questioning if I have those feelings all over again. My brain focuses on whether I find his looks and personality attractive. It hurts so much. I just want to be able to fix my brain. 😔 he deserves wonderful things.
- Date posted
- 3y
Mine deserves wonderful things too you are not alone in that mindset!!! My bf is everything perfect and amazing and I can't believe he even exists. We've been through so many hard things together and every single time we've made it through and became stronger. Then ocd comes into my head like a big sumo wrestler and crushes my brain and makes me think he is unattractive, cringe, and I just wanna hurt myself sometimes because of those thoughts.... He actually flat out texted me and told me to tell me what's been going on in my head and what things I've been sugar coating to him. When I told him everything, he literally just loved me more and didn't break up with me or anything and it made me feel bad cause my big attraction to him I had before got crushed and he says he is so in love with me all the time. My ocd makes me feel guilty saying that to him even though it's true 😭
- Date posted
- 3y
@Animaniash I know you are experiencing anxiety right now, but I want to compliment you on your relationship. Your communication and devotion to each other is beautiful. You two can get through this and be all the stronger.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Animaniash My ocd crushed my attraction to him and it's making me look at all the flaws he has 😞
- Date posted
- 3y
@Animaniash When we feel fear or sadness, it is difficult to feel attraction. That doesn't necessarily mean it is gone for good. It does mean that it is muffled right now.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
For the past 3 months ish I’ve been struggling on and off with this anxiety and fixation over my relationship. To wondering if i still have feelings for an old friend, wondering if i actually love him, wondering if the thoughts are all real and im just trying to cover it up with ocd. It sucks, when im talking to my boyfriend i feel fine. The words i love you and talks about the future come naturally. I can’t imagine myself with anyone but him. But this constant rumination on my relationship is KILLING me and I’m scared it’s going to ruin what i have. It makes me numb and disconnected which therefore makes me believe the thoughts even more. They just feel so real sometimes and it’s so scary like why can i not just enjoy it. We’ve been together for a while so i know there’s periods of like feelings ebb and flowing but this is so much more. It’s just constantly sitting on my chest with anxiety. My compulsions are coming on this app, looking at photos of us and confessing it to him. He’s very understanding and helpful. I love him so much. I just need help / I’m also just starting new meds as well ..
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 21w
Looking back, my introverted nature and struggles to find belonging in high school may have set the stage for how OCD would later impact my relationships. I had my first relationship in high school, but OCD wasn’t a major factor then. It wasn’t until my longest relationship—six years from age 18 to 24—that OCD really took hold. The relationship itself wasn’t the issue; it was what happened after. When it ended, I became obsessed with confessing past mistakes, convinced I had to be completely transparent. Even when my partner was willing to work past them, I couldn’t let go of the intrusive thoughts, and that obsession landed me in the hospital. From there, my struggle with ROCD (Relationship OCD) fully emerged. For years, every time I tried to move forward in dating, doubts consumed me. I would start seeing someone and feel fine, but then the questions would creep in: Do I really like her? Do I find her attractive? Is she getting on my nerves? What if I’m with the wrong person? I’d break things off, thinking I was following my true feelings. But then I’d question: Was that really how I felt, or was it just OCD? I tried again and again, each time hoping I could “withstand it this time,” only to fall back into the same cycle. The back and forth hurt both me and the person I was with. By the time I realized it was ROCD, the damage had been done, and I still hadn’t built the tools to manage it. Now, at 28, I know I need to approach dating differently. I recently talked to someone from a dating app, and my OCD still showed up—questioning my every move, making me doubt my own decisions. I haven’t yet done ERP specifically for ROCD, but I know that’s my next step. Just like I’ve learned tools for managing my other OCD subtypes, I need a set of strategies for when intrusive doubts hit in relationships. My goal this year is to stop letting uncertainty control me—to learn how to sit with doubt instead of trying to “figure it out.” I want to break the cycle and be able to build something healthy without my OCD sabotaging it. I know I’m not alone in this, and I know healing is possible. I’m hopeful that working with a therapist will help me develop exposures and thought loops to practice. I don’t expect to eliminate doubt entirely—after all, doubt is a part of every relationship—but I want to reach a place where it doesn’t paralyze me. Where I can move forward without constantly questioning whether I should. And where I can be in a relationship without feeling like OCD is pulling the strings. I would appreciate hearing about your experiences with ROCD. Please share your thoughts or any questions in the comments below. I’d love to connect and offer my perspective. Thanks!
- Date posted
- 21w
Hi, I'm 17,about to be 18. I've been struggling with these thoughts for the past 8 months. I was wondering if someone experienced ever the same because I feel im "different". BACKGROUND: (I'm not diagnosed with Ocd but seeing a local counselor) About 9 months ago I cheated on my boyfriend with this guy S (who blackmailed, manipulated and molested me). Since then when I realized that what i did was very WRONG and so I started ruminating picking apart every single interaction and telling my boyfriend, i tried to remember every single detail because otherwise I felt like i was being a fraud and hiding things to save myself, i had many crisis about it because I had also what i think was false memory ocd. My boyfriend forgave me idk how tbh I still wonder. CURRENT STRUGGLE: Months ago I was sure I didn't wanna S in any way and i was sure even when everything happened. For the past 2 months tho I've been having thoughts like " Do I love S?" "I love S" "S is hot" "Would S find me hot?" "What if I want S?" " What if I don't love my boyfriend enough?" "What if I secretly want S?" "What if I see my boyfriend as a friend only?Do I?" And I tried testing my reaction to intimate scenarios with S, I'm scared I like it i dont really wanna love S or have any secret attraction, I wish I didn't have any of this and I want to be sure of my feelings for my boyfriend because I know I wanna be with him and I see a future with him like he brings me comfort. But a part of me keeps trying to convince me otherwise. Sometimes I think I'd rather die than have these thoughts. Im so scared of not being able to control my feelings, im scared I can't resist S and its giving me anxiety and making me cry. Sometimes when i think of those sexual scenarios with S or I get those thoughts my mind tells me to smile because i like it because I find it funny. It makes me doubt myself all over again. Like I'm always like I need to test if I'd feel aroused to intimate scenarios with S, lately im trying to fight this urge to test and test but my mind is like "just do it this once so you can be sure. I can never watch anything romantic or sexual or whatever because my mind would be like "you and S" or sometimes I'm just enjoying time with my bf and im like " yes we can just have a sneaky cheating thing thats ok" and it makes me want to figure it out to find an answer a solution because idk it just does like I need to find the meaning of it if it means the truth and all. Im worried im just an awful person and these thoughts just ruin my quality of life . Today i had a crisis where i ended up doinf swlf harm, I'm so scared of finding someone that's not my boyfriend desirable or sexual appealing or whatever it is, I also have bodily reactions when I try to imagine and test my reaction to scenarios. Now i keep groing everytime and I dont know why but i have this sensation and I dont want to havebit especially when its something S related. Does someone experience the same thoughts? Am I alone in this? Is this ROCD? What should i do?
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