- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I’ve done a lot of horrible things too. It’s really difficult, and when I say horrible, I mean down right shameful. I’m ashamed of the person I used to be. I believe people can change, but you’re right, it never feels like it applies to me. I don’t know what you’ve done in the past, but the fact you have remorse shows you have a conscience. You’re not alone, we’re only human, I saw your bio and says you’re 19, I am too. Just try to remember we were children and teens who didn’t habe good impulse control, that’s what my therapist told me. I don’t ever try to excuse what I’ve done because I know what I did was wrong, but I simply just want to know if it’s possible to move forward after all of it. So you’re not alone, have you been going to therapy? I found confessing to those closest to me helped, but confessing to everyone isn’t great though, but yeah, I hope you keep going, not one human is perfect, and we all do bad things, you’ll get through this though! Sending love💜
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you so much 💛 is 19 years old.. still young or at this point I'm old enough to know better? I feel i still make mistakes linked to my past. Its frustrating. Thank you though again. Your words really helped 😄
- Date posted
- 3y
Honey, you're definitely not alone in this cause I'm going through the exact same thing as you. We are human beings and we are meant to make mistakes! Please be kind and gentle to yourself. 💜
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you so much! Please also remember that for yourself as I know sometimes it's easy to forgive and understand others but hard to do the same for yourself. You deserve to forgive yourself no matter what you did or feel you still do . Thank you for being so kind💛
- Date posted
- 3y
@🌸 You're welcome, dear. You're literally so kind Omg thank you so much, dear. I'll remember that and you too, remember that okay? ❤️❤️❤️ And yessss you're right it's easy to forgive and understand others but myself. But we have to realize that we're only human beings and we're not perfect. Same to you, you deserve yo forgive yourself no matter what you did or feel you still do. ❤️❤️ Thank YOU for being so kind💙
- Date posted
- 3y
Let me know if you wanna talk. I'm always here. 💜
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you!! Same for you 💕
- Date posted
- 3y
I just wanna say I relate to this post so much and I’m also the same age! I’m in therapy for my issues and it’s hard to disclose the real event stuff to my therapist but erp helps so much even if it’s an actual bad thing. People make mistakes both small and large, you don’t deserve to obsess about it 24/7 and feel debilitating guilt and anxiety over it. Mine seems like the worst irredeemable thing ever and sometimes & I feel like it could legit mean something about me but that’s just ocd talking. after treatment I’ve had moments of clarity & realizations that it means nothing about or that it’s not as bad as ocd makes it out to be . Show yourself more kindness, ocd loves attaching to stuff like this to use as “proof” if your anything like me it’s probably the main thing fueling your obsession. I would definitely seek out an ocd specialist if you haven’t already, this subtype can be really debilitating. Hope this helps
- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you so much! I'm sorry to hear you also go through something similar to what I do. Back in 2020 my ocd really developed. It wasn't cause of something I did years ago but because of things I was doing then, even developing ocd ..i was still doing them. Maybe even things I regret this year too. But I take everyday as a learning experience and I try and grow from it. I will try and seek professional help because I feel I really need it at this point. I feel the exact way you described. The guilt, shame and anxiety really overwhelm me and make me feel I don't deserve another chance at life...I also always fear it means something about me..I do try and ignore all those feelings.. though sometimes it gets hard. It really is the main thing fueling my obsession. I will take your advice! Thank you again 💕
- Date posted
- 3y
You can change if you want to. A lot of people don’t. But you have the agency and personal responsibility to change, yes.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
I genuinely feel like the worlds most horrible person deeply for my past actions in childhood and general mistakes I’ve made. I feel like I shouldn’t be here or there’s no hope for me despite doing right ( trying to do right ) I’ve wanted to open up to my mom about things from my past but when I was talking to her about a situation that happened just to share, she was like “Thank God you’ve never done anything like that” But really my past mistakes are worst. It’s like I feel like I should disappear. I don’t know how to deal with the guilt and I feel horrible. I’ve made good and bad decisions but despite this being a long time ago ( which doesn’t erase my stupid actions ) I still keep bringing back into the present and I’m filled with guilt I genuinely think it would be better if I wasn’t here. I wake up think about my past things and I’m filled with guilt and shame that maybe I am a bad person and voices don’t stop, they keep telling me a lot of things that I start to believe. It makes me upset that I did something like that in my past and I try to be understanding but I can imagine the reactions of people and being condemned so much. I literally do this to myself every single day and it’s exhausting I don’t know how you guys can treat me with so much compassion and understanding. It really doesn’t feel real or like I deserve it. Like even on nocd, it makes me feel worst because I come across comments that say “as long as it’s not —-“ or something and I compare it to my past and I feel like a horrible unacceptable person.
- Date posted
- 19w
I would really appreciate it so much if someone took the time to read this and help me. I don’t know what to do anymore. I haven’t posted here in awhile. I had my OCD managed pretty decently for a year or so on medication, but I had to stop taking it, and after around 3-4 months, the OCD has become unbearable again. It used to be much more surrounding existential themes, eating, and others, not really real event/false memory stuff. But now it’s gotten really out of hand and I don’t know how to do it anymore. It’s surrounding a time of my life a long time ago. It was a dark time. I wasn’t myself and I was going through a lot of things, and I did a lot of things I regret. I self-destructed, embarrassed myself, and wasn’t good to the people around me. I was able to get my mind off of it for a long time, even though I would still think about it a good amount. I was able to be in the present, at least moreso than now. But now that I’m off medication, the guilt has become my obsession again. I can’t move on. I can’t do anything without thinking about all of these memories. I’m obsessed. I’ve started hating myself again, so much so that it’s hard to do anything anymore or believe I deserve anything good. The people around me tell me it wasn’t even that bad, but to me it was. To me, I failed myself, lost myself, and failed everyone around me. I can’t stop thinking about every person I said something wrong to or every time I screwed up. I’ve now started to convince myself I did terrible things I can’t remember, and that my mind just can’t deal with it. And that’s why I feel so guilty. There’s nothing to really support this though. But I’m starting to really convince myself that’s true. I’m trying not to listen to it, because I’ve convinced myself I have hit people with my car before and haven’t remembered when I absolutely didn’t and I know I never have. I drive back over and over to check there’s no one, even though I never heard any bang or felt myself anything. I can convince myself of some crazy false memories. So I know that I shouldn’t listen. But it’s hard not to when I have this guilt gnawing at me constantly. I come to conclusions that this guilt must be because I did something terrible that I don’t remember, even though I already think the things I remember were bad enough. But I would know by now right? If I did something bad I don’t remember? I don’t feel like this all the time. But it’s a lot of the time. But maybe that should be reassuring, that I only start obsessing like this when I think to. The past haunts me though. And I can never be in the present. I’ve started to resort to some unhealthy behaviors to distract myself or help me work towards something. I am starting to hate myself so much and feel like there’s no way I’ll ever be able to get out of this loop. I feel like I just can’t do this anymore. Maybe I need to go back on medication. But I don’t know. I don’t really want to. But will I ever fix this without it? Why do I feel SO guilty, all of the time? I do all these things for people because I feel indebted to them, because I feel undeserving of everything. I feel awful about myself. I don’t know what to do. Does anyone else deal with this?
- Date posted
- 12w
I feel like I wasted my life.I am almost 20 years old I feel like I did some mistakes that are too horrible to be forgiven.I didnt help a kid who needed help..Who was in danger ..Who was hurt.This made me think I am dangerous and can't be trusted.I started to have these terrible terrible thoughts(pocd) and I feel like I changes since then.Like I am not a ,,pure" person.That I can't be like I was before.I hope it was a compulsion..I used to also stare at kids years ago.I know is so disgusting and I will never act like that again.I feel like I did something too terrible.I am scared this is all proof I am a p..I don't wanna be that.I will never do something but I am so disgusted by my thoughts.I know I shoulf not seek reassurance and all but I don't know if anyone will want to be near me if they knew.I feel like an impostor.And I am scared to tell a therapist..what if they told me that I really am?! Ped******a is one of the things that disgust me the most ..(I think for everyone is like that).I feel like I am too terrible to do something in life.After all of this idk if I deserve anything.Maybe there was a chance if I didn't start to have these thoughts..but now..I want to became a psychologist, to travel the world.I feel like I wasted my life .And I feel like I have too many things to do and have a lot of places to go.Some people are sick and can't do the things I CAN do.And I feel guilty because of that.And I am also scared I will get sick( as I write this, I am scared I will manifest it).I am going to a therapist but idk if I have the courage to tell abt my pocd
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond