People can change right?? I did terrible things..even last year. Probably even this year. Which would make me my fears. But I regret them so much,I generally just want to move on and be a better person, but I feel I don't deserve to..this isn't ocd making a little bad thing bad, these things were terrible. And I know it,, everybody would know it. I just want to love myself for who I am today, not my past. I chang everyday but I generally feel so much guilt and disgust. The ocd with intrusive thoughts that I wanna do it all again. Makes me feel I still am my fears...I hate it so much. This wasn't 1 mistake or 2..or even 3. It was so so so many disgusting, horrible,shameful mistakes. I did for years and years. And I mean 11+ years.

I’ve done a lot of horrible things too. It’s really difficult, and when I say horrible, I mean down right shameful. I’m ashamed of the person I used to be. I believe people can change, but you’re right, it never feels like it applies to me. I don’t know what you’ve done in the past, but the fact you have remorse shows you have a conscience. You’re not alone, we’re only human, I saw your bio and says you’re 19, I am too. Just try to remember we were children and teens who didn’t habe good impulse control, that’s what my therapist told me. I don’t ever try to excuse what I’ve done because I know what I did was wrong, but I simply just want to know if it’s possible to move forward after all of it. So you’re not alone, have you been going to therapy? I found confessing to those closest to me helped, but confessing to everyone isn’t great though, but yeah, I hope you keep going, not one human is perfect, and we all do bad things, you’ll get through this though! Sending love💜

Honey, you're definitely not alone in this cause I'm going through the exact same thing as you. We are human beings and we are meant to make mistakes! Please be kind and gentle to yourself. 💜

Let me know if you wanna talk. I'm always here. 💜

I just wanna say I relate to this post so much and I’m also the same age! I’m in therapy for my issues and it’s hard to disclose the real event stuff to my therapist but erp helps so much even if it’s an actual bad thing. People make mistakes both small and large, you don’t deserve to obsess about it 24/7 and feel debilitating guilt and anxiety over it. Mine seems like the worst irredeemable thing ever and sometimes & I feel like it could legit mean something about me but that’s just ocd talking. after treatment I’ve had moments of clarity & realizations that it means nothing about or that it’s not as bad as ocd makes it out to be . Show yourself more kindness, ocd loves attaching to stuff like this to use as “proof” if your anything like me it’s probably the main thing fueling your obsession. I would definitely seek out an ocd specialist if you haven’t already, this subtype can be really debilitating. Hope this helps

You can change if you want to. A lot of people don’t. But you have the agency and personal responsibility to change, yes.