- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I have a question, is there anything specific that has happened in your relationship that has made you feel like this? Or is it just something you have felt because of ocd ?
- Date posted
- 3y
I know he occasionally watches porn which I resent but I knew that for years before. I started feeling like this more since my mother married an abusive man whom she is now seperated from and lives with us. Maybe I’m just taking her situation and applying it to mine. All that I know is that I feel like running away from my husband even though he is a good man. It just feels like my heart is over him and I feel horrible about it. I pray that I feel differently towards him but it just feels the thoughts are getting worse, so maybe it’s sign I should leave him. I’m not sure if this is all ocd or not. I also have suicidal ocd where I constantly feel like harming myself but I had that since I was 7 yrs old on and off in severity and I’m 42 now. The thoughts against my husband are making my suicidal ocd worse. My mind just feels like a prison and I just want out.
- Date posted
- 3y
Wow I actually feel the exact same as you, different situations but I have resentment over the relationship feeling one sided and I know he is an amazing person, and I love him so much my heart feels over him too and I have these thoughts and this story in my head like it’s over and I need to move on and it feels right but I don’t want to I just want these ugly feelings out of me. For example idk if it’s ocd too, because I feel so much tension in my body and I feel horrible with him because of those feelings and it makes me want to leave so bad. Looks like we feel the same. I want out too but I get what you mean 100%. It feels nice to have someone finally understand I feel like no one does and I’m stuck in this terrible feeling. Of wanting to leave but not wanting to just want to leave this awful feeling
- Date posted
- 3y
Also, my mom still lives with my dad who is abusive and emotionally abusive to me too and the arguments were bad and my boyfriend has acted similar in arguments even tho it’s not the same at all, it still feels traumatic the arguments with my boyfriend so it’s tough because I relate it so much and it feels the same even tho they are two different people and it gives me doubts.
- Date posted
- 3y
I hear u. Is what we are feeling just ocd? I really hope so
- Date posted
- 3y
I used to fight with my husband more before I obsessed about him but now we don’t fight anymore but I heard before that some fights are healthy in a relationship. He loves me so much too and I feel so guilty I don’t feel that way to him.
- Date posted
- 3y
Are u working with an ocd specialist?
- Date posted
- 3y
An ocd specialist once told me you can’t think about love bc once u think about it u are not able to feel it
- Date posted
- 3y
I hope it’s ocd, but if it is I feel sooo bad. But it doesn’t feel like ocd so it could be many things and ocd but I am heartbroken over the past and how things were and so I just feel like I need to leave to be happy and fully heal but I don’t want to end things forever but then idk. I just need these icky feelings gone, I do realize that I’ve had a similar thing with ocd before tho because I will feel like I like one of his friends and I will actually feel like I do but I don’t want to and I don’t think I do and I always think “no you do like him your in denial” except this is just a way bigger situation.
- Date posted
- 3y
Also over 3 years ago my husband said he is not sure if there is a god or not and we are orthodox Jewish and that is totally against our religion so it made me feel worse against him as well. He doesn’t keep some of the things in our practice that we are obligated to do very well.
- Date posted
- 3y
Oh I see I see, I can see how there would be resentment there. That’s the hard part when there is actual resentment but the other stuff not sure if it’s ocd or if some of it is.
- Date posted
- 3y
My best advice is to treat this like OCD and see/continue to see a therapist doing ERP. Don't make any major decisions until you can see things clearly without the tint of anxiety. You don't want to make a decision like that when you don't have all the facts and when you haven't been experiencing the relationship properly for so long due to these thoughts. (Appreciate that was probably triggering, it triggered me too!) ROCD is hard. Just when you think it can't get harder it does.
- Date posted
- 3y
I don’t even have anxiety when I think about it anymore. Just feel depressed that I’m always thinking about it and feel like this.
- Date posted
- 3y
Could well be the fabled backdoor spike!
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
I am having a hard time being able to tell if this is OCD or if this is just marriage conflict. I don't want to give you any reassurance as this may be a compulsion. First question - are you seeking out therapy for OCD? Have you been diagnosed? Second question - do you have a therapist on the outside of your OCD treatment? Sometimes, we do still need therapy outside of our OCD because we still face life struggles every day. I would suggest that if this is a form of relationship OCD - maybe look into some compulsion themes. See if you feel like that might be why you're feeling this way. Otherwise, I would suggest analyzing your marital issues on the outside with a therapist or couple's therapy. I hope this gives some help!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
I don’t understand why I don’t feel happy, why my mind keeps making me think so negatively about him. Nothing makes me feel joy anymore. I keep thinking that he’s stupid, that I don’t like him, and when he speaks kindly to me, I feel nothing. The worst part is that I feel completely numb, like I have no emotions at all. And that makes me think that maybe I really don’t like him, that I will eventually reach a point where I realize my worst fear is true. I keep fighting with him because of my attitude. I treat him badly, and I know it’s because of my thoughts. I can’t see the good in anything. Today, he told me that I would be better off without him because I always seem so sad. He moved to my city for university just to be with me, and instead of making his life better, I feel like I’m making it worse. The thoughts don’t stop, even when I’m with him. I see people posting about how they feel calm when they’re with their partners, but I don’t. I can’t look at him without having intrusive thoughts, and I can’t even kiss him. Today, he told me that he doesn’t feel loved by me anymore, that I treat him poorly. I am constantly afraid because I feel nothing when he says things to me, because I don’t feel like I care. When I look at pictures of us from when I was in a better place, I feel like I was a completely different person. I start thinking that I’ve “matured” and that’s why I don’t feel anything anymore—like maybe I only liked him because I was young and naïve. Everything he does and says irritates me, but he loves me. What if I’m only with him because I don’t want to hurt him? What if I’m just used to him? I feel scared all the time. I don’t understand what’s happening. He keeps trying to apply logic, but it doesn’t work on me. So many times, he has tried to make me feel better, to tell me that I still care about him and that I don’t need to feel love all the time. But my heart breaks when I see how attached he is to me while I feel like I don’t feel the same way. I feel like I’m hurting him, and I don’t know how to get out of this dark place . He keeps trying to apply logic, but it doesn’t work on me. So many times, he has tried to make me feel better, to tell me that I still care about him and that I don’t need to feel love all the time. But my heart breaks when I see how attached he is to me while I feel like I don’t feel the same way. I feel like I’m hurting him, and I don’t know how to get out of this dark place
- Date posted
- 18w
I feel like I want to break up with my partner and go off and experience things like falling in love and butterflies and magic again. My partner is my home and my family and my rock and we’re compatible but sometimes it feels like I have these unfulfilled needs. And then ocd comes in and SCREAMS about these things and pulls me away from my partner. We’ve been together ten years. It says leave leave leave leave leave. And I feel like deep down I don’t want to stay. But I know love is a choice. How can I choose to stay when my body is screaming rub. I know I have ocd, and this is what ocd feels like, and I also have a lot of trauma regards to attachment. Am I being a coward??? Will this ever end?
- Date posted
- 17w
For the past like 4 months, my ROCD has been getting worse and worse. I’ve been on lexapro for about 1.5 months now and it’s basically gotten rid of my anxiety and intrusive thoughts. But now I’m stuck with the constant feeling of not loving my bf. At this point I can’t even recognize him as someone I love. Like I will stare at him and try to feel something or recognize him but I feel nothing. It feels like I don’t love him anymore, but I don’t want to give up. I don’t know what to do at this point. I don’t know if it’s still the ocd and the medication is making it worse or if I’m truly just falling out of love with him. While not being on the verge of a panic attack and ruminating 24/7 is great, i feel like I’ve lost my identity and my emotions.
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