- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I have a question, is there anything specific that has happened in your relationship that has made you feel like this? Or is it just something you have felt because of ocd ?
- Date posted
- 3y
I know he occasionally watches porn which I resent but I knew that for years before. I started feeling like this more since my mother married an abusive man whom she is now seperated from and lives with us. Maybe I’m just taking her situation and applying it to mine. All that I know is that I feel like running away from my husband even though he is a good man. It just feels like my heart is over him and I feel horrible about it. I pray that I feel differently towards him but it just feels the thoughts are getting worse, so maybe it’s sign I should leave him. I’m not sure if this is all ocd or not. I also have suicidal ocd where I constantly feel like harming myself but I had that since I was 7 yrs old on and off in severity and I’m 42 now. The thoughts against my husband are making my suicidal ocd worse. My mind just feels like a prison and I just want out.
- Date posted
- 3y
Wow I actually feel the exact same as you, different situations but I have resentment over the relationship feeling one sided and I know he is an amazing person, and I love him so much my heart feels over him too and I have these thoughts and this story in my head like it’s over and I need to move on and it feels right but I don’t want to I just want these ugly feelings out of me. For example idk if it’s ocd too, because I feel so much tension in my body and I feel horrible with him because of those feelings and it makes me want to leave so bad. Looks like we feel the same. I want out too but I get what you mean 100%. It feels nice to have someone finally understand I feel like no one does and I’m stuck in this terrible feeling. Of wanting to leave but not wanting to just want to leave this awful feeling
- Date posted
- 3y
Also, my mom still lives with my dad who is abusive and emotionally abusive to me too and the arguments were bad and my boyfriend has acted similar in arguments even tho it’s not the same at all, it still feels traumatic the arguments with my boyfriend so it’s tough because I relate it so much and it feels the same even tho they are two different people and it gives me doubts.
- Date posted
- 3y
I hear u. Is what we are feeling just ocd? I really hope so
- Date posted
- 3y
I used to fight with my husband more before I obsessed about him but now we don’t fight anymore but I heard before that some fights are healthy in a relationship. He loves me so much too and I feel so guilty I don’t feel that way to him.
- Date posted
- 3y
Are u working with an ocd specialist?
- Date posted
- 3y
An ocd specialist once told me you can’t think about love bc once u think about it u are not able to feel it
- Date posted
- 3y
I hope it’s ocd, but if it is I feel sooo bad. But it doesn’t feel like ocd so it could be many things and ocd but I am heartbroken over the past and how things were and so I just feel like I need to leave to be happy and fully heal but I don’t want to end things forever but then idk. I just need these icky feelings gone, I do realize that I’ve had a similar thing with ocd before tho because I will feel like I like one of his friends and I will actually feel like I do but I don’t want to and I don’t think I do and I always think “no you do like him your in denial” except this is just a way bigger situation.
- Date posted
- 3y
Also over 3 years ago my husband said he is not sure if there is a god or not and we are orthodox Jewish and that is totally against our religion so it made me feel worse against him as well. He doesn’t keep some of the things in our practice that we are obligated to do very well.
- Date posted
- 3y
Oh I see I see, I can see how there would be resentment there. That’s the hard part when there is actual resentment but the other stuff not sure if it’s ocd or if some of it is.
- Date posted
- 3y
My best advice is to treat this like OCD and see/continue to see a therapist doing ERP. Don't make any major decisions until you can see things clearly without the tint of anxiety. You don't want to make a decision like that when you don't have all the facts and when you haven't been experiencing the relationship properly for so long due to these thoughts. (Appreciate that was probably triggering, it triggered me too!) ROCD is hard. Just when you think it can't get harder it does.
- Date posted
- 3y
I don’t even have anxiety when I think about it anymore. Just feel depressed that I’m always thinking about it and feel like this.
- Date posted
- 3y
Could well be the fabled backdoor spike!
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
I am having a hard time being able to tell if this is OCD or if this is just marriage conflict. I don't want to give you any reassurance as this may be a compulsion. First question - are you seeking out therapy for OCD? Have you been diagnosed? Second question - do you have a therapist on the outside of your OCD treatment? Sometimes, we do still need therapy outside of our OCD because we still face life struggles every day. I would suggest that if this is a form of relationship OCD - maybe look into some compulsion themes. See if you feel like that might be why you're feeling this way. Otherwise, I would suggest analyzing your marital issues on the outside with a therapist or couple's therapy. I hope this gives some help!
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 25w
I realized I’ve depended a lot on my boyfriend for comfort through my ocd, and I’m starting to feel like even before my ocd I was paying more attention to the relationship itself more than him, or the attachment: even though I remember distinct feelings of me wanting to be with him forever, and feeling so happy and complete with him, time didn’t exist, I felt like my most authentic self. So now I’m trying to create a healthy attachment and see him as his own person, which was helping at first, but now it feels as if I’m seeing that I don’t actually love him for him, the thought of moving forward in life without him breaks my heart and I don’t want to but my mind keeps telling me that I want it because of the attachment. He’s the exact type of person and partner I would want but it feels like whatever I feel is not enough.. But I DO experience moments of affection and care and admiration for him but they don’t last long..before I started making this shift in perspective even with the ocd I was still so sure and confident in moving forward with him, I felt so much like I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life. But now that I’ve made this shift it feels like I’m seeing him from a whole different place. Like all those good and happy feelings I had for him are gone now and I don’t have any confidence in what I want anymore. Before I did feel confident that I wanted to be with him but now it feels like there’s this wall between him and me :( I want to be with him I know I do, because even now I still feel the desire to keep going, but I can’t see the future anymore or the confidence to keep going. I was never much of a future thinker, even in my personal life but this feels like added proof I feel like I’m alone in this like no one else has this situation and the chances for me to realize after I recover that I don’t actually love him are so much higher 💔
- Date posted
- 18w
It hurts so much to write that. Lately, every time I talk to my boyfriend — whether it’s through text or in person — I feel this deep irritation, like everything he says or does annoys me. Sometimes, it even feels like disgust, and it’s terrifying. I don’t feel love. I don’t feel excitement. I don’t even feel sadness about not feeling anything… just numb. I look at him and I don’t feel like I used to. I don’t know what happened to me. I used to be so sure I loved him, and now I feel like a completely different person — cold, distant, empty. My brain keeps telling me: “You don’t love him anymore. You never did. You’re only staying out of habit.” My mom told me that if I don’t like him anymore, then I’m hurting both him and myself by staying in this. And hearing that broke me. Because that’s exactly what I fear — that I’m faking everything, and I just don’t want to admit the truth. I feel so lost. And I don’t know how to separate my thoughts from reality anymore. All I know is that I want to feel something again — anything. Because right now, all I feel is guilt, fear, and confusion. i used to know these thoughts are just thoughts and that if i didn’t have them i would be so happy but now, i cant think aboyr that bc the thoughts feel too real.
- Date posted
- 13w
I know everyone has negatives but it’s like they’re the only thing I see with him. Even when I was anxious and felt like this I was still able to enjoy the good moments and feel love. There was so much about him that I would love like we are literally the same person and that is so rare to find. Now over time it’s gotten worse and worse. Like the more I see the bad the more I convince myself. Partly cause when I was with him those times I was analyzing everything that was bad. And my brain kept saying you can’t end up with someone like this. And it’s become so real. Now I feel nothing and it’s so scary like nothing at all. I feel like it’s my mind trying to protect me because I keep thinking that if I leave I can have relief and also not worry anymore but I don’t think that’s what I really want. It’s just hard because the negatives are definitely something that scare me like being irritable and hard to talk things out so I think somehow something is blocking me from letting me feel cause I’m afraid to stay? This sucks I don’t want to feel like this about him has anyone gone through this???? If I’m so anxious to feel will I ever let myself feel again???
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