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Username: Lms526

Date posted: 3y ago

I just need to vent. So I have recently have been thinking about going back to school to get a Master's in Counseling with the end goal of becoming an OCD therapist. Becoming a therapist is something I've been thinking about for a few years now. The past few days the intrusive thoughts have been super intense. Things like "You are too old to think about going back to school. You missed your chance? Why would you even think of becoming a therapist when you are so screwed up yourself? How do you intend to pay your rent, keep food on the table, work full time, and go to school? You aren't smart enough to get a Master's and you will just end up flunking out. You know your parents won't support you in this. I had a rough night last night because I ruminated about this for about 4 hours last night. There's a part of me that wants want to try, but there's a part of me that thinks "Why bother?" I haven't made a decision one way or the other. I have really good benefits at my current job including 401k. But my current job is not something I am passionate about and is not a good fit for my personality. But its a big decision.

Username: God is in ControlGod is in Co...

Date posted: 3y ago

It sounds to me like you are very passionate about going back to school to get your Master's. Don't let your negative thoughts ruin this for you. And definitely don't let thoughts of what your parents may or may not say to you get to you, especially without talking with them first. It is a big decision. I'm sure you are not too old to go back to school. Nobody's too old. I will say a prayer for you to make the right decision. Remember you have to be happy with your own decision.

Username: Lms526Lms526

Date posted: 3y ago

I know exactly what my parents would say "You tried going back to school before and it didn't work out." But back then, I was living with them. But I have been living on my own since 2017. So I feel like they should not have as much of a say. I also don't have any other debt and don't like the idea of getting more student loans. But I'm 45, so I'm sure I could get grants. If I could get school 100% paid for that would be awesome. But there are a lot of things to consider. I appreciate the prayers.

Username: SashaSasha

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y ago

I’m actually in your similar boat. I’m a little younger, but still a decade older than the median of grad students. I’m pivoting away from work that I thought was my dream work to study and become an ocd therapist as well. I worried about the loans- but then it’s loan. It’s owed to the government, not to the school. You have as much time as you need to pay it back. And the investment in yourself is much more valuable than the money… I also thought about, how can I help others when sometimes I feel like I can’t help myself. And you know what? In my acceptance paper I wrote about being a wounded healer. The perspective of someone who has been in the trenches and really understands the fight. We need more of that in our mental health system. We need people who get it on a deeper and visceral level. Not just intellectual and conceptual…. And I thought about my age. But then I realized life isn’t about a timeline. It’s about getting up and moving and being present with your task. And connecting and having a relationship with what you are doing and those around you. So I went for it, and I got accepted. And I’m starting in April. And I’m taking the risk. Will it work out? I don’t know, but I’m excited for the adventure and the momentum of having a path that my soul is asking for . I wish you the same

Username: Lms526Lms526

Date posted: 3y ago

Wow! That is fantastic. Thank you for sharing. Based on the things I have seen you share on this forum, I think you will be awesome. That is one of the reasons why I want to become a therapist. OCD is something that you simply can't truly understand unless you have experienced it. I also have personal experience with depression and social anxiety. I am familiar with the concept of a wounded healer and its something that really resonates with me. Thanks again!

Username: SashaSasha

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y ago

@Lms526 Thank you! That means a lot. And I’m rooting for you! You will be amazing and it will be part of your own healing as well. Part of OCDs strength is our self absorption. But when you heal others you no longer are thinking about yourself. This path will help you uncover that. And I’m sure it will for me too.

Username: GoneHikingGoneHiking

Date posted: 3y ago

I met a woman in my history class who had retired from her old job and come back to college - you're never too old for learning. It sounds like you really want to become a counselor, and that is a good dream to have - if you're not passionate about your current job, then there's nothing wrong with changing careers. I would simply advise caution. Put some serious thought into how you're going to make your dream happen and what it's going to take so you have a plan of action. Whatever you decide, I wish you luck and success. <3

Username: Lms526Lms526

Date posted: 3y ago

Yeah, there is a lot I need to think about an consider. I'm not going to rush into anything, but I'm more worried about allowing fear and anxiety paralyze me.

Username: SashaSasha

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y ago

@Lms526 The best step personally for me, was to go at my own pace, but go. Look up the info, take the introductions if offered, talk to people who went to the schools and got their degree. But just do things. Life isn’t as scary as ocd makes us think. And that little bit of confidence boost can help us see that

Username: Lms526Lms526

Date posted: 3y ago

@Sasha Its okay if you don't want to say, but what school were you accepted to? There are just SO many options. Its kind of overwhelming. Gah!

Username: SashaSasha

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y ago

@Lms526 Antioch, in Los Angeles. I picked it because it doesn’t require GRE or psych requisite courses. It’s also median age is 39, and it’s fitted for people who have full time jobs. And it’s also more centered on you as the person and less rigid.

Username: Lms526Lms526

Date posted: 3y ago

@Sasha Thank you!

Username: SashaSasha

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y ago

@Lms526 No problem! I know Pepperdine does this as well

Username: Anonymous64020

Date posted: 2y ago

Returning to study

Been having a tough few weeks... I left university in 2020 after an OCD breakdown. Since then I've received a ton of therapy and decided to give uni another try. Only problem is, the last few days I can't catch a break from the constant bombardment of intrusive thoughts. Its leaving me worried that I'll end up having another breakdown. I get over one thought, then my brain is just scanning scanning for the next thing to ruminate over. Everytime I get over one obsession, it seems to find something worse or more disturbing. I don't want all my energy starting uni to be spent battling my mind. Any advice is appreciated.👍

Username: Nerdwithocd

Date posted: 1y ago

Work related ruminations

Hey everyone! I’m new to this app, but not new when it comes to OCD treatments. A few years ago I had to leave school/ my job in order to work on my mental health which was hard but needed. Mentally things have more or less gotten better OCD wise but I still really struggle with protectionism. I started a new job within the past 6 months that is challenging, but I enjoy enough to hopefully stay at for a few years. As of the past two weeks I have been really struggling with ruminating over my performance at work. I have been trying really hard to learn all the moving parts of the job, but because of lack of mentoring and constant little hiccups I have been stressing. Currently I have been overwhelmed/ overthinking so much that I have been messing up my work and it seems like my coworkers are pretty annoyed by constantly having to correct me. It’s honestly my worst fear as a perfectionist to feel like a burden. My intrusive thoughts as of late is that they are going to think I don’t care or try hard enough, that they talk bad about me to each other, and that they are going to fire me. Has anyone else experienced this type of OCD perfectionism that affects there performance within school or work and if so is there anything that you did in order to help recenter yourself in the moment to stop your brain from running in circles?

Username: G.M

Date posted: 46w ago

I need to rant

Hi, so I’ve been dealing with OCD for the past four years intrusive thoughts and all. At first it started with being scared of panic attacks then the thoughts went to being scared I’d harm myself and now they’re associated around harming other people especially my family which is very very scary. It feels like I’m deeply rooted a bad person. I can’t even tell anyone my thoughts. It also makes me confused on if I want these thoughts. I’m not even sure if I have any compulsions bc I try to just ignore the thoughts and distract myself. Lately I’ve noticed my anxiety getting a lot worse Notjhing seems to calm it down anymore and I just want to stay alone in my bed and make it all go away. I’m scared I’m scared of myself and I’m scared these thoughts could happen one day and I’m scared I want them. Sometimes my thoughts can make me feel like that… does anyone have any good resources im doing ERP but it’s so expensive. I haven’t tried medication but I want to I’m just scared it will make me worse or make me gain weight. But I’m at the point where I’m desperate and something needs to change bc I can’t live like this. I feel like I’m fighting my thoughts all day. And one second I feel confident I’m ok and the next my whole body gets hot and I feel like it’s all possible and I want these thoughts. Someone please give me advice?

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