- Date posted
- 3y ago
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I try to remember that just because we're not having a good time right now, that that doesn't mean he won't make me feel good tomorrow or the next day!
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Remember that ROCD can create a self fulfilling prophecy. What this means is that, the more you seek reassurance, accuse your partner for cheating, use them for your own happiness, the more they will feel this and be put off and thus, distance themselves. When the ROCD compulsions become extreme and a person acts on these all the time, it can become exhausting for the other partner and the other partner may choose to leave due to the fact they are sick of it and can’t deal with it anymore. I’ve seen this happen in many cases. In your situation, we don’t know why he is distant. He could be going through stress, he could be busy with an event or work. It could be anything. When we have low self esteem/anxious attachment or ROCD. We will take any subtle change in behaviour from our partner as an indication of abandonment. We take it personally. We think the reason for their distance is because of us. THIS IS NOT THE CASE. Unless you are constantly accusing them or seeking reassurance, then I highly doubt their distance is because of you. This is why it is so important to build up our self worth, believe that we are worthy of our partners love and to reassure ourselves instead of seeking it outside of ourselves. You are doing such a great job so far from refraining from acting on compulsions as I saw in your previous posts. Trust me when I say this, I GET IT, I KNOW just how agonizing it it to see your partner distancing himself. You have to face this feeling it brings and sit with it, do not react, I repeat, do not react. Sit with it. YOU CAN COPE. nothing is ever uncomfortable enough for you to cope with. It is simply a feeling that can be managed by you if you let it pass by.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Well done!!! I’m sooo so sooo proud of you for not asking for reassurance! This is extremely difficult to do but you did it! Auguri!!
- Date posted
- 3y ago
What has happened here is this. Situation: your partner seems to be more distant than usual Thoughts: oh no, he is going to leave me Are these thoughts fact or opinion/perspective? What other perspectives are there? *he could be busy with work *he might be feeling ill *maybe there is a family conflict *maybe his friend is going through something and he is helping him *maybe he too is going through some mental health issues Etc etc
- Date posted
- 3y ago
No my rocd was right; today he said that he don't see anymore a future with me
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I'm so sorry this happened
- Date posted
- 3y ago
but he also said that he want to keep date and everything but without being my boyfriend
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Leave there's no point in someone using you for all your benefits but not willing to give the commitment to you
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I'm confused as fuck now
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Leave. You deserve someone certain about you
- Date posted
- 3y ago
It’s not confusing. He’s telling you straight up he wants to see other women
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w ago
Having a really bad day with my ocd. Just had a massive meltdown. I’ve had 3 sessions with an ocd therapist and I feel worse. This is very confusing to me. I’ve read online that it’s normal to feel worse at the start of therapy, but i don’t know. I’m asking for a lot of reassurance from people, way more than I have ever done. My doubts and thoughts seem to be getting worse. My mum said if the relationship is making you so unhappy why are you doing it? This was sooo triggering for me but maybe she’s right? She said if I didn’t have the relationship in my life, I wouldn’t be having meltdowns or have an ocd spike, so she thinks I should consider whether to be in the relationship or not! Omg it’s so awful to hear those words. But maybe she is kind of right? If somethings making you anxious or unhappy, you stop don’t you? So why haven’t I broken up with him? That would be the logical step. Im so worried to make myself even more ill so im very scared to carry on with the relationship, because right now, my mind is telling me its the cause of my unhappiness and i would be better without it. But is that my ocd speaking? How do I know?! My life without him would be so bleak, or is it my life without the idea of someone in it? I have so many questions, it’s overwhelming. What if I’m not listening to my gut? Maybe I’m not. That makes me feel sick if I’m ignoring myself again. This is torture. What can I do to stop all these doubts and feel better about things!!! I would love some advice 🙏🏻🙏🏻 (this is my ocd talking, but comments that agree with my ocd are very triggering like ‘yes if you feel like that that is a major red flag’. Just comments that maybe give some hope, thank you 🙏🏻)
- Date posted
- 21w ago
I’ve been struggling with relationship OCD and differentiating between what is an intrusive thought and what is a real doubt. I was really happy with my partner then I got one aggressive thought that I didn’t love him and this spiralled into noticing all his flaws. I struggle being around him because I feel a huge sense of guilt that these thoughts even come into my head and I cannot figure out if this is my brain lying to me or this is how I feel. It’s really impacting a relationship that is so important to me.
- Date posted
- 13w ago
I’ve just recently found out that Relationship OCD is a thing. I feel like I relate but it also feels like relationship trauma. I’m in a fairly new relationship and I keep telling myself that things are going great, we are good, he cares for me, but does he? There’s this unbelievable amount of self doubt that sits in me because of what my ex did to me many months ago. I kept getting told that I do too much, i smother, need constant reassurance, then got told that I don’t care enough, the things I do aren’t enough and that I’m not enough. I feel like I am waiting for the day that I get broken up with because of these “problems” just so I can be proven right at the fact that I should be considered unlovable. I go through this every month around my period because I get so emotional and nervous that I stress over the idea that he doesn’t like me. How does someone continue a relationship with Relationship OCD? How do I explain it?
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