- Date posted
- 3y ago
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I try to remember that just because we're not having a good time right now, that that doesn't mean he won't make me feel good tomorrow or the next day!
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Remember that ROCD can create a self fulfilling prophecy. What this means is that, the more you seek reassurance, accuse your partner for cheating, use them for your own happiness, the more they will feel this and be put off and thus, distance themselves. When the ROCD compulsions become extreme and a person acts on these all the time, it can become exhausting for the other partner and the other partner may choose to leave due to the fact they are sick of it and can’t deal with it anymore. I’ve seen this happen in many cases. In your situation, we don’t know why he is distant. He could be going through stress, he could be busy with an event or work. It could be anything. When we have low self esteem/anxious attachment or ROCD. We will take any subtle change in behaviour from our partner as an indication of abandonment. We take it personally. We think the reason for their distance is because of us. THIS IS NOT THE CASE. Unless you are constantly accusing them or seeking reassurance, then I highly doubt their distance is because of you. This is why it is so important to build up our self worth, believe that we are worthy of our partners love and to reassure ourselves instead of seeking it outside of ourselves. You are doing such a great job so far from refraining from acting on compulsions as I saw in your previous posts. Trust me when I say this, I GET IT, I KNOW just how agonizing it it to see your partner distancing himself. You have to face this feeling it brings and sit with it, do not react, I repeat, do not react. Sit with it. YOU CAN COPE. nothing is ever uncomfortable enough for you to cope with. It is simply a feeling that can be managed by you if you let it pass by.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Well done!!! I’m sooo so sooo proud of you for not asking for reassurance! This is extremely difficult to do but you did it! Auguri!!
- Date posted
- 3y ago
What has happened here is this. Situation: your partner seems to be more distant than usual Thoughts: oh no, he is going to leave me Are these thoughts fact or opinion/perspective? What other perspectives are there? *he could be busy with work *he might be feeling ill *maybe there is a family conflict *maybe his friend is going through something and he is helping him *maybe he too is going through some mental health issues Etc etc
- Date posted
- 3y ago
No my rocd was right; today he said that he don't see anymore a future with me
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I'm so sorry this happened
- Date posted
- 3y ago
but he also said that he want to keep date and everything but without being my boyfriend
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Leave there's no point in someone using you for all your benefits but not willing to give the commitment to you
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I'm confused as fuck now
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Leave. You deserve someone certain about you
- Date posted
- 3y ago
It’s not confusing. He’s telling you straight up he wants to see other women
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w ago
I’ve just recently found out that Relationship OCD is a thing. I feel like I relate but it also feels like relationship trauma. I’m in a fairly new relationship and I keep telling myself that things are going great, we are good, he cares for me, but does he? There’s this unbelievable amount of self doubt that sits in me because of what my ex did to me many months ago. I kept getting told that I do too much, i smother, need constant reassurance, then got told that I don’t care enough, the things I do aren’t enough and that I’m not enough. I feel like I am waiting for the day that I get broken up with because of these “problems” just so I can be proven right at the fact that I should be considered unlovable. I go through this every month around my period because I get so emotional and nervous that I stress over the idea that he doesn’t like me. How does someone continue a relationship with Relationship OCD? How do I explain it?
- Date posted
- 14w ago
These past few days I was fine. Minimal intrusive thoughts ,no anxiety etc(to add I'm on medication so maybe it's starting to work although it barely is 2 weeks) and today I got a sudden wave of anxiety and it started latching on some thoughts like" what if I'm in denial and I wanna break up with my bf? And what if erp doesn't work for me because I actually wanna break up with my bf?" But they didn't really stay long usually those thoughts would make me spiral for days or so, now they lasted for some hours. And now I'm trying to trigger myself into being anxious again because if I don't it means I don't have ocd and if I don't have ocd it means I don't love my bf and if I don't love my bf it means I have to break up. Idk if it makes sense but the lack of anxiety makes me wonder if I actually have ocd or not.
- Date posted
- 12w ago
When my boyfriend and I are apart, it honestly feels like I've lost all feelings for him. I start questioning everything, wondering if I even love him at all. Then, when we're finally together again, the memory of those earlier doubts creeps in and completely ruins the moment. I get so caught up in overthinking and analyzing my feelings that I can't even enjoy being with him. It's like I'm constantly second-guessing myself. The worst part is, sometimes later, when we're still together, I do feel the love. But then the anxiety kicks in again! I start worrying that I'm just faking it because I had those doubts earlier in the day. It's this endless cycle of questioning, doubting, and overthinking, and it's exhausting. I'm really struggling to stay present when we're together, and it feels like this constant cycle is preventing me from truly connecting with him. We have been together for three years and we love together, and I just started feeling this way about a month ago; it’s been almost every day since. One day, I randomly thought about breaking up with him. Our relationship is healthy, especially compared to my previous toxic one, where I was anxiously attached for two and a half years. My boyfriend is very supportive of me. I have talked to him about my doubts and everything I’m experiencing, and he continues to support, care for, and help me through it all. I am very grateful for that. One aspect of my current relationship that I would like to improve is our communication, but we are both willing to work on it together. I often find that my overthinking leads me to question whether I really want to try to fix things or if I’d rather just continue as we are. This creates a constant push and pull in our relationship. Has anyone else experienced something similar? Any advice on how to break this cycle and just be present in the moment? I'd love to hear from anyone who's been through something like this.
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