I fail to see why sex should be allowed at all if its responsible for so much pain and suffering in the world throughout history.

Every single time me and my boyfriend do anything sexual, I feel really really guilty about it after. We’ve never had sex before but have done other things and I don’t feel guilty about it in the moment, but afterwards I feel guilty. I don’t necessarily regret doing it but I just feel horrible as a human. He does not push himself on me in anyway and I know it’s all a me thing. He is very cautious in making sure I’m comfortable and feel okay, but I don’t start feeling guilty until afterwards. I feel like this always relates back to my faith, which has recently fallen off. I feel like I can’t talk to anyone about this because I always get told the benefits of waiting for marriage. And honestly I do understand that, but I don’t know that I want to wait. I feel like people keep shoving “waiting for marriage” down my throat and it draws me so much further from Christianity and makes things so much harder to feel close to God again. I just feel so lonely in feeling these things and scared I’m going to hell if I keep doing stuff with my boyfriend, but I genuinely don’t know what I believe in anymore and it’s draining me that my values are changing. I know it’s probably healthy and natural for values to change as you grow up, but I feel like there’s a stereotype of Christianity I have to adhere to and it makes me so anxious and scared I’m going to hell if I don’t get everything perfect. My relationship with Christ isn’t something that I involve others in because of how personal it is to me. But I just feel shamed upon by every other Christian and it makes me scared for myself and sad for the way society is making it such a black and white view of this religion.

THIS IS A RELIGIOUS TOPIC! If you're not religious but you still value sex after marriage then you can comment too. I'm not in a relationship right now, but this topic is bothering me. I want to wait until marriage, but I think i would be really weak in the relationship, cause even now I struggle with lust and sexual desire. Which is normal but I know if its hard right now, It will be harder with another person. I had different believes before, I didnt believe in getting married quickly, but someone changed my mind. I heard that wainting can worsen the relationship and even the Bible says that its better to marry than to burn with lust,.I think this might be interpreted differently. So I started believing in this until I heard stories of young people getting married and then fail and get divorced, or just struggling in the marriage, and ofcourse there are good exemples too, but Im still hesitating on this. I also heard someone express their opinion and said that you shouldnt get married before 3 years in a relationship, cause you even have good friends but after 3 years the friendship just goes away or something goes wrong. And this just made me questioning more. Ofcourse who doesnt value sex after marriage, it will be easy for them, but its hard for me. But I will be honest, I don't want to get married just because i cant control my sexual desire... This sounds really bad, getting married cause I want to have sex... I see alot of people telling me that they waited years and still waited until marriage, but im afraid I wont be able. But still I dont want to get married cause of that. 6 months and a year is too little time to know the other person. And I know others tell me no, you can get to know the other person even in 3 months, but maybe in 1 year everything is just beatiful and you dont know how yall are behaving when things are bad and there are challenges. I dont think you should know that when you are in marriage already... I wrote this cause i still have this duality in me, cause I dont know what would I do with the sexual desire, I need people who i can talk too, so If someone can share their story if they waited for years and how they did it, I would appreciate it.

Why is it that when I see, for example, a completely benign situation, with people who are not adapted to such things (pocd, zocd, socd) I see mimicry, movement, I see something sexual and I feel something😔