I don't know how I'm supposed to just live with the uncertainty that I will or won't do something awful. It feels impossible to me right now! 😭

I hit the SOS, and I’m just scared. If I sit with the uncertainty, then I could honestly sit here all day crying. I just can’t accept I’m not a bad person and ruined my relationship, no matter how much grace I give myself. What makes me feel better is knowing that I’m not a bad person, and trying to rationalize my mistakes - understanding everyone makes them. But then it feels like i can’t validate my good feelings because it’s “bad” and I should just accept I COULD be a bad person. It honestly sends me into a full panic. Please help!!!!!!

I’ve tried living in the uncertainty today & kept myself busy but I can’t shake this feeling that I’m about to lose control & act on my thoughts. I keep feeling like I need to check in to see how I feel & keep my self safe & when I’m near my trigger it feels like I’m being pulled into doing it & feels like I want to but I’m not using compulsions. My thoughts feel like my own & feeling like I’ll be like this forever. Can someone relate or give advice 😩

Just trying to accept the uncertainty and move on.... I don't want to be bad.... I want to be a good person.... But I feel like a bad person sometimes I get horribly disgusting thoughts when I'm angry and think the most horrendous things