OCD / Guilt / Porn and Confession Not sure if this really falls under the umbrella of OCD or not. I have a bad habit of confessing things to my wife when I feel as if I’ve done something wrong. I used to confess to her if I thought I’d looked at another woman or if I had inadvertently flirted with someone else. In hindsight, in many of those cases, I don’t think I had done anything wrong, but at the time it seemed like I did. Or, I would confess if I had sexual thoughts about another woman. Stuff like that. I’m often obsessed with the feeling like I’ve been unfaithful. I love my wife. Would never cheat. She has been urging me to stop confessing and mostly I’ve been doing better, but I recently did something I feel quite guilty about. While out of town, I slipped up and watched porn a few times while we were apart. I feel particularly bad because the last time this happened was during a time when my wife was mourning the loss of our family pet, which she had had for many years. We weren’t in the same city when I slipped up and looked at the stuff, but I feel as if I stabbed her in the back during an emotionally rough time for her, even though I feel that I was otherwise completely emotionally supportive of her and was checking in on her constantly and giving her my support. I know I screwed up. I don’t generally watch porn anymore. I used to (a lot) but stopped when we started dating like 3 years ago. In that time, I’ve looked at it maybe three times. When I last confessed this, she said that she doesn’t care if I watch it and that I should stop confessing. I hear her and I believe her. I’ve also made up my mind to stop watching porn because it makes me feel bad. Maybe it’s fine for some people but it makes me feel bad. Part of me says that I should just move on, not confess that I slipped up a couple of times recently and just move on, but another part me says to confess it. That I’ve done something really wrong, especially when she was herself going through a rough time. Any advice would be much appreciated. OCD has clouded my judgement about when to confess.

OCD and porn I am a happily married man with OCD. I have a strong confession compulsion and lots of sexuality-related OCD obsessions and fears. My wife and I have a good sex life but I still indulge in watching porn maybe once or occasionally twice a week. I told my wife about this and her reaction was that she did not care. She outright said, “I don’t have a problem with porn.” Still, I am always confessing to her when I watch it. Needless to say, this is annoying to her. Recently, I told her that I would stop watching it because it made me feel bad. Again she told me that she didn’t care. Well, I slipped up and watched again since I said this. Now, I feel this intense urge to confess again. She doesn’t care but I broke my word. I’m constantly confessing things to her and driving her up the wall sometimes. Can anyone relate to this? Should I confess for breaking my own word even though she said she doesn’t care if I watch? My guilt over this is super strong.

I have a really awful event. One that required a lot of non-OCD related confessions to my gf. It happened 4 years ago. I don’t really consider any of my thoughts around this event to be OCD related, because it was actually THAT BAD, and I actually should feel the things I’m feeling. The problem that keeps coming up is my urge to confess more details. The thing I did wasn’t one event, but a series of awful events. My girlfriend doesn’t want to know anymore details. She says no matter how bad it is, she doesn’t want to know anymore. I keep getting memories of details that I’m worried would end our relationship if she knew. I’ve confessed so many awful details and she hasn’t left me yet, but there are so many genuinely terrible things that I thought, felt, intended, and acted on. With the thought that revealing a detail could end my relationship, how am I not supposed to confess? I feel like I am tricking her and she doesn’t understand the full extent of my depravity. When she looks at me with love I feel sick and unworthy. She doesn’t want me to confess anymore, my therapist doesn’t want me to confess anymore, and these memories are just sitting in my head, eating away at my soul. I feel so alone. I feel like most of you can probably guess the nature of what I did and might not appreciate me posting about it here. I’m sorry, I just need someone to talk to…

I have another question about moral OCD. For me it affects my partner. I once wrote to a streamer with whom I was regularly in the live streams, a relatively well-known one. It was so moderately “fan” writing. I intentionally “sneaked” myself in so I could become his moderator on his live streams, which was the reason I interacted with him in the first place. There were small talks about life, the live streams (as I said, just so he might use me as his moderator because I'm a fan he knows better and can rely on) and nothing more. Now I feel like I cheated on my boyfriend all the time. Since it concerns my relationship, I'm not sure whether I should confess this or not. I always think to myself that I haven't done anything bad per se and that's how I neutralize it. I'm currently unsure whether this is really a compulsion. Can someone help me with that? :) I feel so much guilt i can‘t do this.. is this OCD?