Can someone please respond to this.. Has anyone ever acted on a thought? I have and I believe it to be a horrible sin, as it is mentioned as one. How do I forgive myself? It is a really weird thing because when it happened I was in such a dark place. I honest to God should have been locked up. I had been self harming and attempted suicide around this time too. I had expressed to my mother how mentally unwell I was and she didn’t take it seriously at all. I don’t want to blame her but I know for a fact if I was taken seriously it wouldn’t have happened. My mind was screaming at me to do things all day long in a way I can’t even explain. My ocd is still with me every day but 9-10 years ago when this was happening it was BAD. I Didn’t have thoughts of my own. Only ocd. Id take sleeping pills to keep myself asleep and id have dreams of doing bad things. So I convinced myself I needed to see if I enjoyed it so I did it to see. Turns out nope. Didn’t like it it was just ocd. And that sin has cost me my mental sanity and love for myself. If anyone has gone through this how did you forgive yourself? Do you think god will forgive you? I know I’m not supposed to ask these things but despite what it says I actually get peace from reassurance. And I know I’m not the only one.

Hi. I am going through something really hard right now, and I could use some insight, especially from others who deal with OCD and morality-based spirals. There was a time during a really emotional conversation with my boyfriend when he said something incredibly painful. He said something like he only felt lust for me but did not feel love anymore. I was completely crushed. It felt like everything I believed about our relationship was ripped out from under me. In that moment, I told him that what he said felt like rape. I want to be really clear. I knew even then that it was not a good or accurate comparison. It was not assault. I was trying to express how emotionally violated and broken I felt, and that word came out. I even labeled it directly, not just compared it, and that is what has been haunting me. I feel like I kept going along with it, not because I wanted to lie or manipulate, but because I felt like if I backed down from it, he would not understand the depth of how hurt I was. He didn’t seem to understand any other way. Later, when we tried to be intimate again, I told him not to touch me. And even though a part of me did want closeness, I still felt like I had to react that way, like I had to follow through with what I had said earlier. I wanted so bad for him to understand the impact of his words. That part is killing me. It makes me feel like I was not being authentic, that I was performing a reaction instead of living it. I feel like I acted like a survivor when I was not one, and I hate myself for that. Now, OCD is eating me alive over it. It keeps telling me I am a liar, a manipulator, and someone who cannot be trusted. And it feels so real. But I also know I was hurting. I was not trying to deceive anyone. I was just overwhelmed, desperate to be understood, and probably influenced by years of invalidation from my family over almost everything. I have talked to my boyfriend about it and apologized. He told me he understands and forgives me. But I cannot forgive myself, and I do not know if what I did is forgivable. Has anyone ever been in a similar place? I feel so so awful this was 3 years ago. Now I feel like I can’t trust any of my emotions. I’m analyzing every reaction, past and present, trying to decide if it was “real enough” or if I was somehow dishonest. It feels like OCD has completely hijacked my sense of self. Please help :(

Hi everyone, This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to write. I’ve struggled with POCD for a while — intrusive thoughts that go against everything I believe in. I’ve never acted on them before. I’ve always been terrified of them and done everything to avoid them. But something happened the other night that I can’t stop replaying, and it’s tearing me apart. I was in that in-between state — not fully asleep, not fully awake. I was dreaming that something was “okay,” and in that moment, I moved my child’s hand toward me in a way I now feel completely ashamed of. I wasn’t aware of fully choosing it, but I remember it. I remember that it felt like I was following the dream, like my brain said it was okay. And the part I can’t stop obsessing over — that’s destroying me — is that in the dream, my child said, “no.” That moment makes me feel like the worst human being on the planet. I don’t know if he said it out loud or if it was part of the dream. But it felt real, and now I feel broken. I love my child more than anything. The fact that this happened — even in a foggy, dreamlike state — makes me feel like I crossed an unforgivable line. I’m not here to excuse it. I’m not here to get reassurance that it didn’t happen. I’m just trying to find someone — anyone — who has experienced something like this. Acting or moving in a way during sleep or semi-consciousness that your waking self would never do. I don’t know how to live with this guilt. I feel sick, ashamed, and like I’ve ruined everything. Please be kind. I’ve never felt more alone in my life, and I don’t know how to move forward from this.