How do people get out of bed early in the morning and do the shit they need to do and go out every day? When I don’t have morning classes I usually stay in bed until 1 and I’m still not in a state to do anything. I just don’t understand how I can see people on Snapchat at a party 10 hours ago then I wake up and they’re at a tailgate, like I can’t even bring myself to go to a single party (both because of anxiety and because I don’t enjoy it, I don’t drink), how does anyone even have the energy to do that? I get exhausted by going about everyday life mainly stuck in my dorm for most of the day. It’s so hard to find people to relate to and connect with when basically the only thing people do on campus is drink and go to clubs and parties, or someone doesn’t then usually they are someone who quite frankly I don’t want to associate myself with because they are just to weird for me (no offense to them, just not for me). Like yea I’m not normal but I’m somewhere in between, in a place where it feels like there really aren’t many others like me who enjoy the same things I do. Although recently I’ve been so caught up in my own head that it’s getting hard to even tell what are the things I enjoy.

i’ve been dealing with SOCD for 5 years and truly believe it has altered my life completely😀. i haven’t been properly diagnosed but the child therapist I had when i was in hs kind of hinted to me i had something more than just plain anxiety. i’ve also dealt with intrusive thoughts all throughout my childhood and as my family life got worse my anxiety got worse annnd i started getting more and more thoughts that wouldn’t leave me. I remember spending months not swallowing right and practically starving myself bc i kept thinking i was going to choke. i also rmbr spending months worrying ab death and dying EVERYDAY. it woke up with horrible anxiety and it was all i could think about. i can still rmbr sitting in my grandpas chair and just staring off and thinking “im going to die one day” “idk what’s going to happen” “is god real” “i don’t want to die” “what if there is no heaven” and so on. when the socd thoughts started i was 15. i searched around online for help and found reddit and i was like “omg yes finally people who understand and are going through EXACTLY what im going through.” finding that community and this app has helped me so much. anyway i had such a horrible time during my teenage years bc of all the intrusive thoughts about my sexuality, my relationship (glad that’s over), and some other things here and there. i was so so depressed and i felt no one around me understood how fucking awful i felt. i woke up everyday anxious, depressed, numb, and exhausted. when i started college i told my old therapist that even tho im extremely afraid of death i just didnt like living. i would cry in my car before class and just sob ab how awful i felt. although my mental health has gotten SO much better as time went on and the thoughts haven’t been as frequent im definitely not doing well. i am literally stuck. i’m still in college but i don’t know what to do with myself. those years of anxiety and depression have left me STUCK. im so much happier? and i can manage the thoughts way better but i don’t want to do anything. i only talk to 2 friends (literally lost so many great friendships), i RARELY drive bc im afraid ill die in a car crash (only to school and back), i don’t go out, i don’t ask for help at school, i avoid conversations, i avoid ppl in general, i don’t put in that much effort into school, i don’t have hobbies, i don’t want to do anything, i literally have the worst social anxiety now, im afraid of everything. i feel like the only reason im “ok” now is bc i’ve avoided literally everything. i’ve basically spent three years of my life doing nothing. i’m not happy with where i am in my life but im so scared to do anything. i miss who i was before all of this. i’ve been dealing with anxiety all my life and ik my childhood and early teen years made me like this. i didn’t know how to deal with the things i went through/saw as a little kid and i guess everything exploded in my teen years. but i want to be better i want to start LIVING. i’m definitely happier than before but im not living. what frustrates me is i refuse to do anything about it. i know a big reason why i don’t experience as many intrusive thoughts is bc i avoid everything 😭. ik what i have to do to get better and turn my life around BUT I WONT DO ANYTHING. idk how to explain this but its not laziness i feel like my body is exhausted. i think im just so traumatized from feeling so fucking horrible for so many years i just shut down ykwim?? i don’t have any libido, i don’t find ppl attractive, i can’t get myself to do the things im interested in (so many books r piled on my floor), i rot all day, i push off my responsibilities till the last minute, i can’t even get myself to go on a small walk. i don’t know where i was going w this but if someone who’s going through the same thing sees this ur not alone. i just needed to get this out. hopefully one day things will get better.

Does anyone feel like they are stuck in place? I haven’t done anything besides lay in bed on my phone (if I’m not at work) for almost a year now. I have the desire to go out and be a part of the world, but I feel like my body is glued to my bed. I can’t motivate myself to get out of pajamas to go anywhere, and the entire time I’m out (even just at the store) I just want to be home in bed. I mainly just DoorDash food now, when I can convince myself to eat. I’m tired.

I’m new to this and trying to understand why I often feel stressed and overwhelmed by leaving the house to run an errand or see a friend. My boyfriend is an extrovert and I feel overwhelmed when I think of spending time with him because I know he wants to be out and about keeping busy. We live in NYC and lately the city is just too much for me - the noise, crowds, smells. I bailed on him today in a way I’m not proud of. He deserves to have a girlfriend that can and wants to keep up with him. I want to be that person, I want to WANT to do things. It’s so hard to know what is depression, what is personal preference, what is OCD, what is circumstantial, etc. I want to show up for my loved ones, I want to keep commitments, I want to get my errands done.