- Date posted
- 3y ago
- Date posted
- 3y ago
So I had the same exact theme as you, it got triggered by me seeing a comphet tiktok that I could relate to, and broke down at the possibility that I could be a lesbian. I started looking in the past for proof that I was or wasn’t a lesbian. Naturally, only the thoughts that could be proof that I WAS a lesbian were so much more profound in my mind than the proof that I was not a lesbian. When I had this theme, ocd liked to trick me into thinking I wasn’t attracted to men, and wouldn’t let me feel attraction towards men. (even though Ive had plenty of times of attraction to men before that theme popped up, but those thoughts didn’t cross my mind because you’re too stuck on the idea that you’re a lesbian). So, when you say you’ve had crushes on guys, that’s final. I had the same thoughts, looking back at my old crushes wondering if I was just looking for male validation or something. But no, a crush is a crush. Let me just tell you, I truly believed that I was a lesbian at some points. However, my theme moved on to something else and now I look back and am know that’s not true but I was just too stuck on the idea of it being true because I could relate to a lot of lesbians on things.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Ugh this helps from a relation stand point because there are times where it is less of “I just want to get over these” and more like “well you are a lesbian you’re just never gonna accept it for some odd reason so this is your life now”. It’s this issue of HOW realistic our thoughts and feelings can be and I also stuck to this theme cause my other themes are self harm and harming others so I think in my brain I thought “well at least no one gets hurt so let’s stick with this theme”
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Yes exactly, I also have pocd which is god awful and part of me didn’t mind if I was a lesbian because at least I wouldn’t switch to something that’s my worst nightmare. But seriously ocd really wants you to believe what you’re worrying about and will pull out all the stops to the point where it feels real.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@_anonymous_075 Yep! I have a new nephew and I felt POCD starting to gain traction and honestly was like “no you’re gay!!! Let’s focus on the gay ones!! Much less scary” which I probably need to stop doing if I ever want to get over the SOOCD but I’m so scared of the other themes
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I found if I started sarcastically agreeing with the thoughts, even out loud when I’m alone, the intensity went away. I’d even laugh at them sometimes when I’d hear how out of character they sound for me, felt awful at first, but eventually the OCD is like a bully - if you start agreeing with it, and you’re not giving it the reaction it wants, it gets bored and goes away.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Yes I try my best to do these but then they’re like “so you agree?” And I get anxious and I’m like NO SORRY I DONT AGREE. Which is what I have to get past
Related posts
- Date posted
- 13w ago
I feel awful that I keep coming on here whenever I’m down bad but oh my gosh OCD is the most painful shit that I have EVER experienced in my life and I have a physical chronic illness…. I hate to say it but I hate living right now it’s too painful… im crying as I type to the point where my stomach is hurting, I have pretty severe ocd I do have generalized anxiety and idk if that is connected with ocd but because of that I have most of the subtypes REAL EVENT OCD,POCD,ZOCD,ROCD,SOCD HARM OCD, you name it and I got it!!! a lot of also why I have have those theme is trauma growing up and involving those things^ as of right now i’m 25 and a women with the most loving boyfriend in the entire world before my ocd hit me I NEVER questioned my love and care and attraction with the love of my life I always knew I was going to marry and be with this person the rest of my life! Now with ocd it confuses me soooo much and now I think I’m gay and didn’t realize or indenial and listen I get it “don’t look for reassurance!” “It’s not the thing ocd is attacking that is the problem ocd is the actual problem!” Here’s the thing with that if I’m in a relationship and I’m gay that would mean I would have to leave that said relationship and to say that “oh yeah that stuff happens and you’ll move on” is absolutely devastating to me this is THE LOVE OF MY LIFE and your telling me that iv been lying to myself this whole time or that I didn’t realize?!?!? And that sexuality can change (even though some say it can’t google says otherwise and some people have said it can’t idek anymore) and all this other BULLSHIT I can’t take it WHY?!?! why does this have to happen why can’t I just be with my love the rest of my life?!? and yes before anyone says anything I have been attracted to girls more so when I was younger watching lesbian porn liking the body’s and fantazing them sexually it stopped when I got older but I still don’t get disgusted with women who are pretty it just makes me uncomfortable because I’m with the love of my life and before I remember talking to my partner and discussing certain childhood things I experienced and we discussed that we both could be a little bi and for certain I’m (demi sexual so I don’t even really care about looks) and I truly didn’t care!! NOW I do care even with being bi because again I don’t like thinking about anyone else but my partner but I do also know my parents are homophobic and I do think about if I am gay they wouldn’t be okay with that and I also dont want to deal with that so now I sound like in indenial right?!???? I didn’t even care about labels before my ocd it just didn’t matter but now it’s effected my sex life and it’s hard for me to enjoy sex with being so confused I’m so confused I googled everything can you still have sexual fantasies with same gender but still be straight? Can you fantasize about same gender or imagine marrying them all of it !!! And non of that disgusts me it just makes me uncomfortable AGIAN only bc I just love the partner I’m with right now!!! I’m so fucking confused do I have to leave my partner and accept that I’m gay is that going to happen in the future if I get better with ocd and find out it’s been true all along?!???
- Date posted
- 10w ago
Im a 21 year old female in a straight relationship with the best guy a girl could ever ask for. About 2 months ago, I went to get coffee with a friend and as I dropped her off, I got a “weird” vibe from her and the look she gave me which lead to the thought of “should I kiss her”….Ive never had a thought like that before and I never have ever wanted to kiss another girl. I have also never had a desire to be with another girl (sexually or romantically). Now though, I have had one other experience of being with a different friend going to get lunch and it felt weird. Ever since then I have been on google non stop with hundreds of different searches, questioning if im lying to myself of my boyfriend, wondering about my past relationships even though Ive only dated boys, been attracted to boys, crushed on boys, etc… boy crazy! Reading on other forums has been a big thing too or doing quizzes. I believe its SO-OCD but im so scared that what if its not. I am in therapy and actually had two weeks of not even thinking about it or googling it until yesterday. I dont know what to do.
- Date posted
- 6w ago
I don’t want to look for reassurance but I seriously need help. I got diagnosed with OCD in January of 2024. My first theme was religious OCD. I feared that I would commit the unforgivable sin of blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. Maybe about five months later I walked in to my dad’s room where he was watching a movie, and two girls did some stuff if you know what I mean. Later that day I started to panic that I was that way. At the beginning of my hocd I did many compulsions and a lot of rumination. I had bad anxiety and knew that I did not want a relationship with a woman. I had always known myself to be straight. I’ve liked men since preschool. From having a crushes and celebrity crushes and only wanting and fantasizing about men. But fast forward to now with my hocd, I have no anxiety and I’m feel like I’m in denial. Which I know is common but I believe I truly want and like this. Even though before I would have had a panic attack and said ew. When I think about dating a girl I feel as though it’s normal and I have no anxiety about not having anxiety. I’m a very big Christian and I don’t really want to be this way. I mean if I am I’ll deal with it I guess but I’ve never felt this way before. I used to always watch movies and be like I hope I find a man like that but now i do that with both genders I feel like. I felt numb but now it feels normal and that I truly want and enjoy it and that I’m okay with it. Am I in denial or is it hocd still? Can anyone relate? It just feels so real like it’s not hocd anymore and I feel like I don’t care and I just want to know yk. UGH I don’t know how to explain it.
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