Im super scared that i wont recover it's killing me rn

Devin (they/...

Date posted: 3y

I get that. Yesterday all I could think about was how I am going to have OCD my whole life and constantly have to dealing with these thoughts. I was told to not look so far into it. Stay more in the present. I know it isn't easy by any means. Have you addressed this in therapy? I wish I had better advice, but that's all I have.

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

Ugh, that’s exactly what I’m going through now and it sucks

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

I know it’s not easy and I haven’t started therapy but use your s.o.s and breathe I’m scared of not recovering as well but we must

Nica

Date posted: 3y

Actively working on recovering is a better step than obsessing over possibly not recovering abs getting upset over it.

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

You will recover

Jeffrey

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

I am sorry that you are having a difficult time. I believe that most people in EPR and working on recovery have fears that they will not recover - and the OCD is trying to convince you that you will not recover. When you are in that anxiety, lean into the intrusive thought, perhaps say, maybe I will, maybe I won't but I am going to keep trying because I do not know what the future holds, but I do know that listening to the OCD is not my choice. We never know for sure, and it is leaning into the uncertainty that we need to do as hard as it is. You can do this! You are stronger than you think! I hope this helps you.

Evelyn4416

Date posted: 3y

Another OCD doubt/fear! All it does is lie to us. It would be beneficial to learn to sit with that discomfort of “maybe I won’t recover, maybe I will” and not fall into any compulsions.

Joyeberry

Date posted: 3y

Totally understandable! Seriously, it seems like everyone with OCD has this fear at some point. Which makes sense: OCD tries it's best to undermine any ground you think you've gained. So when you finally find something that helps, OCD will remind you that *you* are unique and what works for other people won't work for you, that *your OCD* is different (maybe it's not OCD at all!) so treatment is pointless. OCD thrives on our desire to be sure. So in ERP we starve it of certainty by letting those thoughts/feelings exist without fighting. That is the exact same tactic to use here with this fear of never recovering. It is a terrifying thought, I know, but you *can't* know what your recovery will look like. You don't have a crystal ball. All you can do is follow the path that's in front of you. You're here because you found some resonance with NOCD and thought it might help. So try it! I can't tell you what your life will look like in 5 years, but I can tell you that what you're experiencing is normal (at least it is around here! lol) and that you are not alone, not by a long shot. Check out the support groups and the YouTube Live videos. You will see just how "not-alone" you are. <3

💗Snoopy🌌

Date posted: 24w

Scared I acted on my thoughts while out of it

I woke up disassociating really bad ,I was super tired and if you read my prev post I've been having problems w depersonalization after a bad thc trip the other night. Im so so so scared I just said a slur or whispered it to myself because I cant properly remember things rn. I remember getting the thought and im scared i whispered it to myself and I cant tell if it happened or not bc waking up things feel rly blurry . It feels really real. I would never want to say such a word and im scared i did bc I was so out of it. I dont remember if i just had the thought or acted on it

Chessmixxd

Date posted: 23w

Cause For Concern

I'm going to try and be coherent because I know that sometimes during these moments I tend to babble in fear. I have a mole on the left side of my chest that I've had since I was a kid. Been there for as long as I remember. And I never paid attention to it; it was just a part of my body. I even felt a little sad considering that I might not have it anymore whenever I get top surgery. Yesterday I went down a rabbit hole and landed on Melanoma. Which, of course, prompted me to look at my mole again. And again. And again. It's large, bigger than my other moles. Always has been, at least to my knowledge. I always thought it was cute whenever it crossed my mind. Now...now I'm just scared... I'm not asking for reassurance. None of us on here are medical experts (unless youre an actual doctor) (also insert OCD joke here). I sent a picture to my doctor, and she said that if it hasnt changed size that's a good sign. But she also suggested a follow-up with a dermatologist. And that's what scares me the most. All of this started yesterday, but I sent the message to my doctor this morning. And ever since then...I havent been okay. I can barely eat, and every time I try to I can barely swallow. I've isolated myself in the guest bedroom of my parents house. I cant move. I cant think straight. And...let's just say my thoughts havent been good. Like I said, I'm not asking for reassurance or medical advice. I just...I need help to not feel like I'm dying. I didnt mention that yesterday, in the midst of going down the rabbit hole, I realized how badly I didnt want to be afraid, and yet I also felt like I needed to be afraid. And I realized that that's what ERP is (at least for me in case it's different for everyone). I really did naivietely think that it was just going to be about avoiding compulsions. I didnt realize that accepting uncertainty would feel like a death sentence. And now this has happened. I just...I'm scared. And I dont want to be. I dont want to live in this reality where I'm sick and dying. I dont want to have to tell my family. I dont want to live in that world, but it feels like I'm already in it. My body is just preparing me for it. I dont know. I dont know why I'm even making this post. No one can help me, can they?

itsmehi17

Date posted: 17w

Death/cancer

Been off this app for 2 years. Now I’m back with a terrible theme of getting cancer and dying. I can’t sleep, can barely eat, and think about it constantly. I’ve posted on Reddit to alleviate stress, but nothing works. I will die regardless and no one can assure me I won’t get cancer. I just want to stop worrying and feeling so scared all the time. I’m a med student and I want to drop out because I don’t think I can handle seeing people sick and not assuming it’ll happen to me

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Im super scared that i wont recover it's killing me rn

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