I hate this allergy to life. The way a thought gets in and your mind just overreacts exponentially. You go from zero to terror in a manner of seconds. And the harder you try to stop the thought the louder and stronger it gets, till it feels like it’s yours and not the meaningless brain noise that it actually is. But it just noise, it doesn’t belong to you, it’s not some deep revelation. Just noise.

I feel you. Especially that zero to terror in seconds, bull's eye. The thing is the more you try not to think on something the more you actually feed it. I'm using the approach of being sarcastic with the thoughts. Saying things like: "Yeah right" or "Sure. That's what's it is" and scoffing. The anxiety doesn't disappear immediately but makes the next wave shorter and less scary. I heard some other people using basically the same approach with good results. Fear it's a bully and the only thing to do it's face it and saying to it: "no more!". "You will not tell me what to do or not". And then do the opposite. See OCD makes us think we will do terrible things or worse it tells us we are horrible, bad, crazy or any number of adjectives that are a 100% lies. You see that's the voice of shame. It's not our voice. Now it's not about suppressing the voice or running away from it but more about not giving importance to it by arguing or doing compulsions. Again: "yeah right though". It's a process not a I got it all figured it out. The more we practice the better we get. That's actually ERP. Face the fear with boldness by moving on and by not giving into compulsions but by giving up on trying to fix or control our thoughts. Today I say: "I give up. I will not fix anything because I don't need fixing for thoughts on things that I actually care.". That's the thing. The fact we get stressed is proof we aren't in agreement with those thoughts. We just need them to let them pass by the same way we would let someone we don't care about pass by. Doesn't matter how much they scream. Hope this helps.