- Date posted
- 3y ago
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y ago
meeee! i’ve watched lesbian porn in the past and it frightens me!!!! i’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years and it scares me. i wanted to marry him and do everything with him. i still do. however, my brain will not let me just be. it’s so scary at times. sometimes i know i’m not, as i’ve never wanted to be in a relationship with a girl. but other times it feels so true and real and that i’m in denial rn. i’m with you!
- Date posted
- 3y ago
RIGHT! So glad you commented. Thank you for sharing. Hopefully we can both find some peace eventually. It can be so debilitating! You’re not alone
- Date posted
- 3y ago
For what it’s worth I’ve heard it’s pretty common for straight women to watch lesbian porn..? Which I don’t get to be honest lol
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I believe it is, as well. A lot of straight women who are in loving relationships with men only enjoy that particular type
- Date posted
- 3y ago
You are not alone in this! The core of my obsession is also trying to “find myself” because the intrusive thoughts and feelings make me feel like I’ve lost my sense of self. It’s so destabilizing and scary.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
That you! 💕
- Date posted
- 3y ago
This is exactly meee! Around 3-4 years ago, I was in the same situation. Finding out about SOOCD was an enormous relief temporarily. Although I don't have a boyfriend, it brings me a lot of pain to think that I could be bi/lesbian. I have a lot of fantasies about finding a good man and building a good future together. Then I wonder if I'm really straight or in denial. Nowadays ocd doesn't overwhelm me very frequently, but 3 years ago I was barely getting by. Sometimes it feels very real. And it doesn't happen that when I'm watching lesbian porn, I get sexual thoughts. You're certainly not alone.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 17w ago
im having a unusually hard flare up for two months. ive never had it this bad before (ive had this on and off for many years - thank god not constantly.) lately, i keep having these images in my head and scenarios in my head of me "coming out" in the future and ending my relationship with my amazing fiance who i love dearly. he knows everything but i still feel like i am constantly lying to him, my family, and friends. i need to know that this is something the SO-OCD can do to you? the weird thing is, is that i have never been attracted to woman. i do admire their beauty and wish to LOOK like them or have a specific feature they have, but i dont have any urges to like be with them yet i am dealing with this really bad flare up. My brain keeps telling me that since i have never tried it, i would never know, and i am just getting really distressed from it. i just want to be happy again and it seems impossible. I am convinced i am only person that is using SO-OCD as an excuse. Any guidance or advice, or anything really, will help. i just feel alone and scared and sad all the time.
- Date posted
- 13w ago
Im a 21 year old female in a straight relationship with the best guy a girl could ever ask for. About 2 months ago, I went to get coffee with a friend and as I dropped her off, I got a “weird” vibe from her and the look she gave me which lead to the thought of “should I kiss her”….Ive never had a thought like that before and I never have ever wanted to kiss another girl. I have also never had a desire to be with another girl (sexually or romantically). Now though, I have had one other experience of being with a different friend going to get lunch and it felt weird. Ever since then I have been on google non stop with hundreds of different searches, questioning if im lying to myself of my boyfriend, wondering about my past relationships even though Ive only dated boys, been attracted to boys, crushed on boys, etc… boy crazy! Reading on other forums has been a big thing too or doing quizzes. I believe its SO-OCD but im so scared that what if its not. I am in therapy and actually had two weeks of not even thinking about it or googling it until yesterday. I dont know what to do.
- Date posted
- 5w ago
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
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