New here. Looking to hear from people with SOOCD. Im a woman with a cis male partner. For several months, I’ve been convinced I’m either bisexual or lesbian. It all started after seeing tiktoks of other women questioning their sexuality, talking about how they watch wlw porn, and so on. I also only watch lesbian porn. I’ve learned a lot about comp het and thought maybe this is why i’ve never dated another woman and i’m actually attracted to women instead of men. Ever since then, i’ve felt extremely disconnected from my partner and even almost broke up with him. I find myself constantly googling searching to find my true sexual orientation. I constantly try to imagine if I could be with another woman. I’ve imagined coming out as bi or lesbian. Just recently, I learned of SOOCD. Suddenly everything is making sense. I felt relieved when I started learning about it. Though, I’m still worried I could just be bi or a lesbian in denial. Everyday I am consumed by these thoughts. I’m exhausted, confused, and depressed. All I want is to find myself again. And find answers. I love my partner, and I just want to feel happy again. If you’ve experienced anything similar, please share. I’d love to hear from you. I’m not looking for advice or answers from you, I just want to hear from others in the community.

meeee! i’ve watched lesbian porn in the past and it frightens me!!!! i’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years and it scares me. i wanted to marry him and do everything with him. i still do. however, my brain will not let me just be. it’s so scary at times. sometimes i know i’m not, as i’ve never wanted to be in a relationship with a girl. but other times it feels so true and real and that i’m in denial rn. i’m with you!

For what it’s worth I’ve heard it’s pretty common for straight women to watch lesbian porn..? Which I don’t get to be honest lol

You are not alone in this! The core of my obsession is also trying to “find myself” because the intrusive thoughts and feelings make me feel like I’ve lost my sense of self. It’s so destabilizing and scary.

This is exactly meee! Around 3-4 years ago, I was in the same situation. Finding out about SOOCD was an enormous relief temporarily. Although I don't have a boyfriend, it brings me a lot of pain to think that I could be bi/lesbian. I have a lot of fantasies about finding a good man and building a good future together. Then I wonder if I'm really straight or in denial. Nowadays ocd doesn't overwhelm me very frequently, but 3 years ago I was barely getting by. Sometimes it feels very real. And it doesn't happen that when I'm watching lesbian porn, I get sexual thoughts. You're certainly not alone.