Why do I lose feelings for guys when they like me back? I cant stop obsessing over this and I really want to let it go. I’ll have a strong crush on them, imagine a potential future, and then if I get an indication they feel the same way it’s like I get cold feet. Feelings of overwhelm, physical anxiety, doubt. This used to be massive fuel for my HOCD and now it feels like evidence for my current obsession that I could be aromantic or asexual. According to social media it’s quite a common thing but surely there’s some explanation for it? It’s so irritating and doesn’t make sense to me and causes me so much distress. It’s such a conflict in that I want to move closer to someone but also my body would be telling me to run for the hills. Anytime I find an explanation for it online I serially doubt it and feel so anxious, like I’ll never figure it out. Please help anyone!

I really need help understanding what I’m going through. For a long time now, I’ve been struggling with thoughts and feelings about women that confuse and scare me. Sometimes I feel this strange emotional or mental ‘pull’ toward certain women — it’s not exactly sexual, and not clearly romantic either, but it feels like something, and it triggers deep anxiety. When I see a beautiful woman or a WLW (woman-loving-woman) couple, I feel something that I can’t explain — sometimes I think it’s just admiration or aesthetic appreciation, but OCD keeps telling me: “You felt something, so you must be gay,” or “You’re hiding something.” I get stuck in endless loops, trying to analyze these moments and label them. Even when I feel physical or emotional reactions, they don’t feel natural or aligned with who I am. They feel like a reaction to the idea of women, not real attraction. I try to be honest with myself — I even told a friend I might be bisexual at some point, just to test if that felt more comfortable. But it didn’t. It made things worse, and I felt like I lost touch with who I am. I don’t want to lie to myself or live in denial, but I’m exhausted. It feels like I’m being mentally forced to feel something that isn’t mine. I’m 14, and I understand that things might still be developing, but I can’t help feeling like I’ve always been drawn to men, and never naturally wanted women that way. Still, I keep doubting everything. Is this real attraction or OCD feeding false feelings and thoughts? Can OCD create emotional or mental sensations that feel like desire? I’m so scared that I’ll lose myself, or find out something I never wanted. I just want peace and to feel like myself again.

seriously someone pls give me advice 😭 I think last week I posted about how I have a crush on my friend and how my brain was making me question everything (mostly my sexuality). Well now I know he has a crush on me too and I’m already worrying about not liking him anymore, even though I was thinking about him all day before he confessed to me. I went to look at pictures to make sure I still think he’s attractive and I didn’t feel the same. Now I’m worrying about if I’ll no longer feel attracted to him when we hangout in person. Why can’t I at least have a simple crush? Why must I question everything??? WHY CANT MY BRAIN JUST FUNCTION NORMALLY THIS IS DRIVING ME INSANE!!?? If you have any tips on how to deal with this please let me know 😭.

I’ve recently started dating a guy. It’s been a little over a week and I’m already questioning my feelings for him. Our first date went pretty well, but since then I’ve been obsessing over the fact that my feelings for him aren’t strong enough and that they’re sometimes flat. This is very distressing because I dated someone last year for 3 months whom I never really developed much feelings for, and it was very traumatic for me because I felt like I was leading him on (which to be fair, I never told him my feelings were up and down until 3 months in). The amount of guilt I hold over that is tremendous. But fast forward a year later, and I’m dating this new guy who I seem to like and want to continue getting to know, yet here are those same doubts and loss of feelings. It’s so discouraging. The only difference this time is the thoughts aren’t as distressing, and I also never left the first date questioning my feelings for him. Looking back at my relationship from a year ago, I feel like I never really formed a connection, both emotionally and physically. It was very slow paced and I really wasn’t that interested in him. With the new guy, I have interest and I do like him, but these doubts and dull feelings make me not want to see him—they create so much anxiety and dread. He will text me good morning and I don’t get excited but instead bad anxiety (which to me seems abnormal especially when first dating/starting a relationship, but I could be wrong). And so I’ve been led to believe that these doubts and feelings MUST mean I’m not interested in him, and any further interactions are purely me forcing myself to like him. My question here is—and I must admit this is me trying to seek reassurance—there must be a difference between GENUINELY not being interested in someone and then OCD TRICKING you into thinking you aren’t into someone. Where and how is that distinction made? I’m seeing him later this evening for a date and have been feeling nervous. There’s excitement underneath, but it’s very hard to feel with all this anxiety. I’ll be giving him a letter I wrote explaining how OCD impacts me in relationships. He already knows I have the disorder, but doesn’t realize its extent. I know I’m ritualizing by giving him this letter, but I personally feel I owe it to him out of pure respect. And especially after that last relationship where I told the guy 3 months in that my feelings fluctuated.