- Date posted
- 3y
question?!
for couples who have been together for a good amount of time is it normal to not always feel “ in love” all the time ? that it comes and goes ?
for couples who have been together for a good amount of time is it normal to not always feel “ in love” all the time ? that it comes and goes ?
A relationship isn’t wholly about love all day every day. It’s about commitment and working on your relationship.
I also challenge you to rewire the way you view what “in love” means! Is your idea of “in love” what movies/books/tv shows/those around you/etc told you it is? I say this because that’s how I viewed love for a long time. It got me stressed all the time thinking “why don’t I feel that burning passion ALL the time?” Well that’s because long term, committed relationships aren’t always like that! They require work and commitment and are not one size fits all. I know I am “in love” with my partner when we hold hands in the grocery store, or when I make him lunch and bring it to him at work, or when I just feel like giving him a hug after a long day. It doesn’t always need to be this big romanticized thing :) I hope this helped, again I want to emphasize this is my experience with relationship anxiety & doesn’t reflect every relationship, everyone is different :)
i think that love is a choice and a commitment! it’s about choosing to trust that the love is still there even when you’re mad at your partner or you’re just having a chill night in, not talking much! in any relationship, regardless of the nature, there are going to be “dull” moments. but as @ocdhater said, the movies and media have taught us that it isn’t okay or they aren’t the one if there ever is those dull points. when really, sometimes we just run out of things to say or we get mad at them, just as we would with a friend or sibling or relative. you’re doing way better than you think ❤️❤️❤️
are you meaning you think you don’t love them ?
no. i know that i love them but at this moment im not feeling “ in love “ if that makes sense
@faith🤍<3 him *
For me, something I’ve learned is that relationships are very fluid. There are high points and there are low points. It’s the same with emotions. There are moments of high emotion and moments of low emotion. This could be for a whole bunch of different, personal reasons, like stress, hormonal changes, depression, anxiety, life is busy, you name it. That doesn’t mean love isn’t still there! I recommend the Anxious Love Coach podcast! She discusses these things in it :)
You're seeking reassurance. Its not going to help you in the long-term believe me
I struggle with rocd, and a big intrusive thought that I have is that I’m no longer in love with my partner. I am going through a depression right now, and I am struggling to feel any kind of passion towards anything at the moment. I am withdrawing from the people I love because I just feel like I want to be alone. When I’m with people I just feel exhausted by it. I guess my question is, has anyone ever felt like this from depression? Does it take feelings of love and attraction away? I can’t tell if this is my ocd or depression or a combination of both. But it’s starting to impact my relationship which makes me panic because losing it is my worst fear.
When my boyfriend and I are apart, it honestly feels like I've lost all feelings for him. I start questioning everything, wondering if I even love him at all. Then, when we're finally together again, the memory of those earlier doubts creeps in and completely ruins the moment. I get so caught up in overthinking and analyzing my feelings that I can't even enjoy being with him. It's like I'm constantly second-guessing myself. The worst part is, sometimes later, when we're still together, I do feel the love. But then the anxiety kicks in again! I start worrying that I'm just faking it because I had those doubts earlier in the day. It's this endless cycle of questioning, doubting, and overthinking, and it's exhausting. I'm really struggling to stay present when we're together, and it feels like this constant cycle is preventing me from truly connecting with him. We have been together for three years and we love together, and I just started feeling this way about a month ago; it’s been almost every day since. One day, I randomly thought about breaking up with him. Our relationship is healthy, especially compared to my previous toxic one, where I was anxiously attached for two and a half years. My boyfriend is very supportive of me. I have talked to him about my doubts and everything I’m experiencing, and he continues to support, care for, and help me through it all. I am very grateful for that. One aspect of my current relationship that I would like to improve is our communication, but we are both willing to work on it together. I often find that my overthinking leads me to question whether I really want to try to fix things or if I’d rather just continue as we are. This creates a constant push and pull in our relationship. Has anyone else experienced something similar? Any advice on how to break this cycle and just be present in the moment? I'd love to hear from anyone who's been through something like this.
Is it normal feeling no connection towards your boyfriend if you think you're dealing with ROCD. I was talking with my therapist last Wednesday and she asked me if I can picture a future with them for the longest time I did but now I feel like my head is trying to tell me no is that common?
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