- Date posted
- 3y
question?!
for couples who have been together for a good amount of time is it normal to not always feel “ in love” all the time ? that it comes and goes ?
for couples who have been together for a good amount of time is it normal to not always feel “ in love” all the time ? that it comes and goes ?
A relationship isn’t wholly about love all day every day. It’s about commitment and working on your relationship.
I also challenge you to rewire the way you view what “in love” means! Is your idea of “in love” what movies/books/tv shows/those around you/etc told you it is? I say this because that’s how I viewed love for a long time. It got me stressed all the time thinking “why don’t I feel that burning passion ALL the time?” Well that’s because long term, committed relationships aren’t always like that! They require work and commitment and are not one size fits all. I know I am “in love” with my partner when we hold hands in the grocery store, or when I make him lunch and bring it to him at work, or when I just feel like giving him a hug after a long day. It doesn’t always need to be this big romanticized thing :) I hope this helped, again I want to emphasize this is my experience with relationship anxiety & doesn’t reflect every relationship, everyone is different :)
i think that love is a choice and a commitment! it’s about choosing to trust that the love is still there even when you’re mad at your partner or you’re just having a chill night in, not talking much! in any relationship, regardless of the nature, there are going to be “dull” moments. but as @ocdhater said, the movies and media have taught us that it isn’t okay or they aren’t the one if there ever is those dull points. when really, sometimes we just run out of things to say or we get mad at them, just as we would with a friend or sibling or relative. you’re doing way better than you think ❤️❤️❤️
are you meaning you think you don’t love them ?
no. i know that i love them but at this moment im not feeling “ in love “ if that makes sense
@faith🤍<3 him *
For me, something I’ve learned is that relationships are very fluid. There are high points and there are low points. It’s the same with emotions. There are moments of high emotion and moments of low emotion. This could be for a whole bunch of different, personal reasons, like stress, hormonal changes, depression, anxiety, life is busy, you name it. That doesn’t mean love isn’t still there! I recommend the Anxious Love Coach podcast! She discusses these things in it :)
You're seeking reassurance. Its not going to help you in the long-term believe me
Hey everyone, I wanted to come on here today to just share this post because I’ve been struggling with this recently. I just wanna know if this is a common thing in relationship OCD. So last Friday me and my boyfriend had a conversation that was important, and my emotions were high and I got a little emotional about something he said and we had a long talk about it, the conversation went great and afterwards everything was okay. On Saturday I was so excited to see him after work and I was overflowing with feelings of happiness and excitement. Sunday was great and we stayed on FaceTime just enjoying the day together after he went home that morning, and then came Monday. I remember getting a thought like this, “What if I’m losing feelings for him and I’m just leading him on?” And even this thought, “I don’t really feel anything towards him right now, does that mean I fell out of love with him?” And then the anxiety came, I could literally feel myself breaking out in cold sweats and I could feel the pain in my chest after these thoughts crossed my mind. But what bothers me so much about this is on Saturday and Sunday I felt so content and happy with him and I was so happy and I didn’t have any anxiety whatsoever, and then Monday came, and I had those thoughts and I feel almost numb and I can’t feel anything else except the feelings of worry and fear and my anxiety has been at a all-time high and I keep feeling this pain of guilt and hurt in my chest and I just wanted to know if anyone else has experienced the same. Because personally one thing I hate is that one day I can be so happy and energetic and then the next day I can feel numb and feel absolutely nothing towards my boyfriend. I’m not sure if this can correlate with my menstrual cycle as well, but I’ve heard that that can also make your relationship OCD worse and cause you to feel differently about your partner. Just wanting to see if anyone has dealt with the same!
Lately, I’ve been feeling like something has changed in me — like I have changed, and like my feelings for my boyfriend have faded or shifted. It’s one of the worst sensations I’ve ever felt. I keep thinking things like “I don’t love him like before” or “I’ve changed too much to feel anything now.” Sometimes when he calls me or makes a joke, I get irritated for no reason. I feel like I’m being mean, cold, disconnected — and then guilt crashes down on me. I remember how I used to feel: warm, close, expressive. And now… I just don’t feel the same. That makes me think: “Maybe I’ve fallen out of love.” But I’m also constantly anxious. I overthink every moment. I can’t relax into anything without analyzing if what I feel is “right.” It makes me wonder — maybe I haven’t actually changed. Maybe I’m just overwhelmed and tired from months of these thoughts and fears. I don’t know how to feel right now. I just want to believe that this disconnection isn’t proof that love is gone, but a sign that I’m scared and burnt out.
I’ve been having a good time with my partner laughing, and enjoying time together. But in the back of my mind I wonder why I don’t feel love for him. Like how do I get it back
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