Bella???
- Date posted
- 6y
m.a.d.m.a.d.
- Date posted
- 6y
I definitely do, like a hyper-awareness of myself. How would you describe yours?
Bella???Bella???
- Date posted
- 6y
yeah kinda like that, it’s like intrusive low self esteem lol,, kinda like how i’m not seeing myself the way i want to and i’m annoying and not me but am if that makes any sort of sense ?
m.a.d.m.a.d.
- Date posted
- 6y
omg yes yes yes. I notice one bad thing about myself and my OCD latches onto that (like my weight or my laugh or my smile). And then it connects to my other themes (TOCD, HOCD). I also get intrusive images of girls that are ‘prettier’ than me and the thought that everyone sees me as gross.
Bella???Bella???
- Date posted
- 6y
yes omg!! with tocd it attacks that and says i’m insecure because i feel like a guy or because i’m trans :///
m.a.d.m.a.d.
- Date posted
- 6y
Me too! It’s like my OCD is trying to convince me that all of my problems are because I haven’t accepted that I’m trans, or gay (which is so unrealistic and stupid but feels so believable).
m.a.d.m.a.d.
- Date posted
- 6y
yep, my thoughts centre more on HOCD and feeling unattractive and masculine, but I know what you mean about images.. it’s like my brain latches on to anything that isn’t feminine and labels it as masculine (or that I’m a boy). But I know what you mean!! I get the thought that I’m not feminine enough to be a girl or desirable to a guy, so it must mean I want to be a boy and date girls (which the constant images of prettier girls just adds to).
m.a.d.m.a.d.
- Date posted
- 6y
Whenever you see/read about/watch a tv show with a couple, does your brain want you to analyze whether you feel more like the girl or the guy? Mine tries to convince me that I imagine things from the guys point of view so I must want to be a guy.
AuntieIzzyAuntieIzzy
- Date posted
- 6y
I do
Bella???Bella???
- Date posted
- 6y
100%! it tells me i’ll be happier if i just accept it, ughh. i know it isn’t true but my mind always says, when i feel uncomfortable or insecure, it’s because i’m suppressing being trans or that i don’t like being a girl. honestly it’s insufferable. i was actually pretty confident in myself before and liked myself but now i feel super annoying and just not good in general. do you get those annoying flashes or images of you as a trans person or as a gay person? makes me so unhappy and nervous
Bella???Bella???
- Date posted
- 6y
also i get annoying things like i can only relate to guys or i’m not good enough to be a girl??? like?? what?? lol
AuntieIzzyAuntieIzzy
- Date posted
- 6y
I do too
Bella???Bella???
- Date posted
- 6y
100%!! it’s like, i find certain types of guys really attentive but my mind is like, you want to BE like that and DO those things rather than finding them attractive. and totally!! i’m relieved that you can relate omg
Bella???Bella???
- Date posted
- 6y
attractive*
m.a.d.m.a.d.
- Date posted
- 6y
Mine does the exact same thing!! And it’s like my brain has created this masculine (or lesbian?) image of myself which makes it feel 1000x more real. It just always feels like the OCD wants ‘more’ and is never content until it literally makes me believe it.
Bella???Bella???
- Date posted
- 6y
exactly! it’s so frustrating
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- Date posted
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anyone else?
maybe a therapist can respond or anyone who relates and experiences this also?? im trying to make sense . ever since ocd started, specifically harm ocd and pocd, sexual themes ocd in general, my brain makes everything sexual or gross. or just makes inappropriate connections with quite literally anything. or any person I see I wonder if they are a p, or if they are “like me”, because im fully convinced at times that im some weird or bad person, and then when i see actual criminals etc i cant help but compare myself to them it’s so weird?????? or sometimes I feel like i cant judge a p because im no different than them?? idk its so weird. rn writing this ik im not a p like what im just struggling with really bad ocd and trauma I hope :( It’s just my brain distorts everything and then it makes me feel worse, like “ur an actual p or pervert because see??? ur brain is sexualizing everything?” hopefully this makes sense
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