Bella???
- Date posted
- 6y
m.a.d.m.a.d.
- Date posted
- 6y
I definitely do, like a hyper-awareness of myself. How would you describe yours?
Bella???Bella???
- Date posted
- 6y
yeah kinda like that, it’s like intrusive low self esteem lol,, kinda like how i’m not seeing myself the way i want to and i’m annoying and not me but am if that makes any sort of sense ?
m.a.d.m.a.d.
- Date posted
- 6y
omg yes yes yes. I notice one bad thing about myself and my OCD latches onto that (like my weight or my laugh or my smile). And then it connects to my other themes (TOCD, HOCD). I also get intrusive images of girls that are ‘prettier’ than me and the thought that everyone sees me as gross.
Bella???Bella???
- Date posted
- 6y
yes omg!! with tocd it attacks that and says i’m insecure because i feel like a guy or because i’m trans :///
m.a.d.m.a.d.
- Date posted
- 6y
Me too! It’s like my OCD is trying to convince me that all of my problems are because I haven’t accepted that I’m trans, or gay (which is so unrealistic and stupid but feels so believable).
m.a.d.m.a.d.
- Date posted
- 6y
yep, my thoughts centre more on HOCD and feeling unattractive and masculine, but I know what you mean about images.. it’s like my brain latches on to anything that isn’t feminine and labels it as masculine (or that I’m a boy). But I know what you mean!! I get the thought that I’m not feminine enough to be a girl or desirable to a guy, so it must mean I want to be a boy and date girls (which the constant images of prettier girls just adds to).
m.a.d.m.a.d.
- Date posted
- 6y
Whenever you see/read about/watch a tv show with a couple, does your brain want you to analyze whether you feel more like the girl or the guy? Mine tries to convince me that I imagine things from the guys point of view so I must want to be a guy.
AuntieIzzyAuntieIzzy
- Date posted
- 6y
I do
Bella???Bella???
- Date posted
- 6y
100%! it tells me i’ll be happier if i just accept it, ughh. i know it isn’t true but my mind always says, when i feel uncomfortable or insecure, it’s because i’m suppressing being trans or that i don’t like being a girl. honestly it’s insufferable. i was actually pretty confident in myself before and liked myself but now i feel super annoying and just not good in general. do you get those annoying flashes or images of you as a trans person or as a gay person? makes me so unhappy and nervous
Bella???Bella???
- Date posted
- 6y
also i get annoying things like i can only relate to guys or i’m not good enough to be a girl??? like?? what?? lol
AuntieIzzyAuntieIzzy
- Date posted
- 6y
I do too
Bella???Bella???
- Date posted
- 6y
100%!! it’s like, i find certain types of guys really attentive but my mind is like, you want to BE like that and DO those things rather than finding them attractive. and totally!! i’m relieved that you can relate omg
Bella???Bella???
- Date posted
- 6y
attractive*
m.a.d.m.a.d.
- Date posted
- 6y
Mine does the exact same thing!! And it’s like my brain has created this masculine (or lesbian?) image of myself which makes it feel 1000x more real. It just always feels like the OCD wants ‘more’ and is never content until it literally makes me believe it.
Bella???Bella???
- Date posted
- 6y
exactly! it’s so frustrating
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Hi all, I’m really grateful for all the support I’ve gotten from people in the last few days. My mental health is at an all time low and I really appreciate the relief people have brought. I had a question about whether an intrusive image of a potentially imagined event can feel just as real as a real memory. I’m doing my best to stop ruminating over an image I have in my head, and have gone so far as requested security footage of myself and have been told both through that and by my friends that nothing bad happened, but the image in my head feels just as real as other memories. I was also drinking the night in question, which makes it harder for me to dismiss the image and makes me feel like I shouldn’t. I was just wondering if imagined images can feel just as real? I’m trying to use tools to ignore the image, and have therapy scheduled for tomorrow, but I feel like I can’t responsibly dismiss the image even with the evidence I’ve gathered if there’s something about a real memory that looks different in the brain and that if so, that suggests my memory is real and I should confess it. I’m really working on stopping reassurance seeking as well, especially now that even after being told that nothing bad happened when the establishment I was at reviewed security footage, my brain is telling me “they’re probably just lying and never reviewed it.” I know I need to just stop ruminating, reassurance seeking, and mentally checking the memory, but I just don’t know if I can/should in case the image is what I should trust more, if that makes sense.
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- Date posted
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