- Username
- Bella???
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I definitely do, like a hyper-awareness of myself. How would you describe yours?
yeah kinda like that, it’s like intrusive low self esteem lol,, kinda like how i’m not seeing myself the way i want to and i’m annoying and not me but am if that makes any sort of sense ?
omg yes yes yes. I notice one bad thing about myself and my OCD latches onto that (like my weight or my laugh or my smile). And then it connects to my other themes (TOCD, HOCD). I also get intrusive images of girls that are ‘prettier’ than me and the thought that everyone sees me as gross.
yes omg!! with tocd it attacks that and says i’m insecure because i feel like a guy or because i’m trans :///
Me too! It’s like my OCD is trying to convince me that all of my problems are because I haven’t accepted that I’m trans, or gay (which is so unrealistic and stupid but feels so believable).
yep, my thoughts centre more on HOCD and feeling unattractive and masculine, but I know what you mean about images.. it’s like my brain latches on to anything that isn’t feminine and labels it as masculine (or that I’m a boy). But I know what you mean!! I get the thought that I’m not feminine enough to be a girl or desirable to a guy, so it must mean I want to be a boy and date girls (which the constant images of prettier girls just adds to).
Whenever you see/read about/watch a tv show with a couple, does your brain want you to analyze whether you feel more like the girl or the guy? Mine tries to convince me that I imagine things from the guys point of view so I must want to be a guy.
Oh my god. I do that! My brain is like “who do you relate to the most in this relationship” or like which point of view I “relate” to the most. Or whether I feel more like the guy or girl. Except that instead of it being trans ocd it’s hocd, so it’s like I want to be in guy’s position of the relationship when I don’t and it’s so confusing
I do
100%! it tells me i’ll be happier if i just accept it, ughh. i know it isn’t true but my mind always says, when i feel uncomfortable or insecure, it’s because i’m suppressing being trans or that i don’t like being a girl. honestly it’s insufferable. i was actually pretty confident in myself before and liked myself but now i feel super annoying and just not good in general. do you get those annoying flashes or images of you as a trans person or as a gay person? makes me so unhappy and nervous
also i get annoying things like i can only relate to guys or i’m not good enough to be a girl??? like?? what?? lol
I do too
100%!! it’s like, i find certain types of guys really attentive but my mind is like, you want to BE like that and DO those things rather than finding them attractive. and totally!! i’m relieved that you can relate omg
attractive*
Mine does the exact same thing!! And it’s like my brain has created this masculine (or lesbian?) image of myself which makes it feel 1000x more real. It just always feels like the OCD wants ‘more’ and is never content until it literally makes me believe it.
exactly! it’s so frustrating
Maybe I didn't always have pure o but I think my perception of myself has been off for a long time. Feeling weird or different or flawed most of my life. Being made fun of and told I was weird growing up didn't help. Anyone else?
hey guys, anyone with eating disorders or body dysmorphia? ive had certain habits for a long, long time but ive started seeing them through a different light now. i usually try and starve myself to stay unbloated and skinny looking, and usually after a while i get so hungry that i binge eat. after the binge is over, i either drink excessive amounts of coffee (to work like laxatives) or i starve for days on end to “make up” for it. in all honesty, i would just throw up if it wasnt for a surreal fear of vomiting (only way emetophobia has been good for me ever) about half of the time i feel good about my looks, weight, body, face and all that, but the rest of the time i feel like i look disgusting, and thats where the starving comes in, and excessive grooming habits to cover my flaws. all of this was way worse a couple of years ago, and then it got way better, but along with all of this ocd this has gotten worse again. i feel like the way the “eating disorder” habits and the “body dysmorphia” plays out kind of look like an ocd cycle (sorry for self diagnosing, i dont know if i actually have these) another thing that i know for sure is very unhealthy is the amount of shame and embarrassment i have towards my body. i feel i “have” to do so many things to cover up, prevent or get ready for certain events or plans. overall, any time i need to be proper or any bodypart of mine has a role in something, i get so stressed to the point of panic attacks. i nearly had a burnout when i was seeing this guy for two months (my first time dating someone) from just sheer stress. before meeting up with him i would panic for hours, and still would while being with him. i barely got to enjoy the good times.
Would body dysmorphia be, for example, seeing a picture of yourself and not believing it’s you? like you know it’s you but it’s just hard to truly believe it’s you?
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