Bella???
- Date posted
- 6y
m.a.d.m.a.d.
- Date posted
- 6y
I definitely do, like a hyper-awareness of myself. How would you describe yours?
Bella???Bella???
- Date posted
- 6y
yeah kinda like that, it’s like intrusive low self esteem lol,, kinda like how i’m not seeing myself the way i want to and i’m annoying and not me but am if that makes any sort of sense ?
m.a.d.m.a.d.
- Date posted
- 6y
omg yes yes yes. I notice one bad thing about myself and my OCD latches onto that (like my weight or my laugh or my smile). And then it connects to my other themes (TOCD, HOCD). I also get intrusive images of girls that are ‘prettier’ than me and the thought that everyone sees me as gross.
Bella???Bella???
- Date posted
- 6y
yes omg!! with tocd it attacks that and says i’m insecure because i feel like a guy or because i’m trans :///
m.a.d.m.a.d.
- Date posted
- 6y
Me too! It’s like my OCD is trying to convince me that all of my problems are because I haven’t accepted that I’m trans, or gay (which is so unrealistic and stupid but feels so believable).
m.a.d.m.a.d.
- Date posted
- 6y
yep, my thoughts centre more on HOCD and feeling unattractive and masculine, but I know what you mean about images.. it’s like my brain latches on to anything that isn’t feminine and labels it as masculine (or that I’m a boy). But I know what you mean!! I get the thought that I’m not feminine enough to be a girl or desirable to a guy, so it must mean I want to be a boy and date girls (which the constant images of prettier girls just adds to).
m.a.d.m.a.d.
- Date posted
- 6y
Whenever you see/read about/watch a tv show with a couple, does your brain want you to analyze whether you feel more like the girl or the guy? Mine tries to convince me that I imagine things from the guys point of view so I must want to be a guy.
AuntieIzzyAuntieIzzy
- Date posted
- 6y
I do
Bella???Bella???
- Date posted
- 6y
100%! it tells me i’ll be happier if i just accept it, ughh. i know it isn’t true but my mind always says, when i feel uncomfortable or insecure, it’s because i’m suppressing being trans or that i don’t like being a girl. honestly it’s insufferable. i was actually pretty confident in myself before and liked myself but now i feel super annoying and just not good in general. do you get those annoying flashes or images of you as a trans person or as a gay person? makes me so unhappy and nervous
Bella???Bella???
- Date posted
- 6y
also i get annoying things like i can only relate to guys or i’m not good enough to be a girl??? like?? what?? lol
AuntieIzzyAuntieIzzy
- Date posted
- 6y
I do too
Bella???Bella???
- Date posted
- 6y
100%!! it’s like, i find certain types of guys really attentive but my mind is like, you want to BE like that and DO those things rather than finding them attractive. and totally!! i’m relieved that you can relate omg
Bella???Bella???
- Date posted
- 6y
attractive*
m.a.d.m.a.d.
- Date posted
- 6y
Mine does the exact same thing!! And it’s like my brain has created this masculine (or lesbian?) image of myself which makes it feel 1000x more real. It just always feels like the OCD wants ‘more’ and is never content until it literally makes me believe it.
Bella???Bella???
- Date posted
- 6y
exactly! it’s so frustrating
Related posts
Gmoki
- Date posted
- 21w
Self image, Trust issues and ocd
I apologize I post here a lot lol. I have a few questions/I want to vent about this. My therapist and I have identified one of the triggers I’ve been trying to work on, which is my fear of never being good enough; for myself, my family, my friends, for my romantic relationships, and just in general. Honestly, I hate myself so much. Not for any reason in particular, but I overanalyze everything I do and let it consume me. I know this is normal for most people, and everyone goes through bouts of self depreciation and lack of self love. I’m trying to give my love to myself that I’ve always given to other people and it’s so difficult. It’s really funny, I need male validation even though I feel like I can never trust a man ever again. I was broken up with at the beginning of April, and so you can imagine how my self worth really has been feeling. I’m aware my self worth isn’t based on other people’s perception of me, but I just want to be loved consistently through my ocd and adhd. It feels like it’s too much for people, while I simultaneously feel like I’m making this a massive deal. I don’t want to get into another relationship ever again, I just think I’m too weird for most men or they’ll take advantage of me for something again. I think if a man is nice to me, it means there’s an ulterior motive or a catch. There’s genuinely no way someone even cares as much about me as I do them, it’s always one sided. I love my friends, I’m taking about relationships wise. Not to mention, I hate the way I look and act. When I think I’m somewhat decent looking, there’s always a post to pop up with this stunningly beautiful girl. I can never catch up with modern beauty standards. I hate this so so so much. I hate feeling this way, how do I make this all stop?
anonymous494
- Date posted
- 20w
having a hard time with my appearance and decision
i don’t feel like i’m allowed to make decisions because what if i’m doing a compulsion. am i genuinely uncomfortable or just looking to do compulsions yk?
Anonymous
- Date posted
- 18w
Anyone else struggle with “maybe, maybe not”?
I know the solution is to always say “yeah that could be true, but I am choosing to live my life anyway.” However, I feel like my biggest issue is my brain always assuming that it is immediately true when I do that. Like if I say “maybe I’m attracted to teenagers, it’s possible,” then my brain INSTANTLY starts rationalizing that thought and defending it and being like “oh okay so you think this now and it makes sense because xyz, and now that’s who you are and your real desire is now and always will be teenagers.” I feel really alone in this area of feeling like my brain “accepting the thoughts” means my brain immediately accepts them as true. I obviously don’t want to think they’re true but I feel so stuck now.
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