- Date posted
- 7y
- Date posted
- 7y
Yes very... bc all i want is the complete opposite. I literally just try accepting the thoughts. But even if I accept them they are still always there.
- Date posted
- 7y
Yes! In fact, yesterday I watched a movie with Lily James in it and I have always thought she was beautiful and I have aspired to be her, etc..but I had this thought that said “I would marry Lily James” and it felt so real. But then I let the thought come and even exposed myself by telling a few trusted friends “I only want to be with a man but I would marry Lily James” and then we joked about it all for a while. I’m trying so hard to not let every thought and feeling mean anything but gosh it’s so hard.
- Date posted
- 7y
Yes! I think the reality is that we have to try to accept that it’s okay to think the same sex is beautiful and to be willing to say things like “You know what, I actually would marry Lily James” but that means nothing because I only want to be with a man. In fact, the whole movie, I was looking at the main guy in the movie and dreaming about marrying him. These intrusive thoughts and feelings are so annoying but I’m holding out hope that this won’t control my life or each of your lives forever
- Date posted
- 7y
@Jen22 my brain always does this! As a kid I had a laptop and would look up pics of my fav celebrities when I was bored and I just found them pretty, but damn my brain is taking it as evidence and saying I was attracted to them.
- Date posted
- 7y
Yes, happened to me yesterday & i freaked out. I wish I knew how to fix it.
- Date posted
- 7y
This is the longest these thoughts have sit with me... in the past it was easier to brush em off. Idk why this is so hard.
- Date posted
- 7y
Honestly @Jen22 there are times when I find this stuff so hard and still so surprising with the amount of ways it tries to convince me!
- Date posted
- 7y
Passed two days my brain has been saying “your gay, just admit it”. “Just say it” like in these little voices! I have NEVER had a crush on a girl. EVER. I don’t get why I cant shut that voice off. Literally wish I had a switch!
- Date posted
- 7y
Hey @Sunshine1 I’m not sure what religion you follow (I’m a Christian) but I completely understand that pain and 100 percent relate to what you mean. If you ever want to talk privately through social media or text, let me know!
- Date posted
- 7y
In fact, if any of you want that, let me know! I would love to chat!
- Date posted
- 7y
Thanks @jen22 that means alot! ??
- Date posted
- 7y
Thank you @Jen22!
- Date posted
- 7y
yes all the time. it’s been happening to me all week and idk how to fix it. some days i can just ignore the thoughts and other days i have to give into the compulsions or i feel like i’m going crazy
- Date posted
- 7y
That happens to me all the time . All the time I worry “is this just gay realization?” And then my ocd goes crazy
- Date posted
- 7y
@Sunshine1 it’s so annoying isn’t it?
- Date posted
- 7y
Me too, accepting the thoughts only works so far but the thoughts are always there
- Date posted
- 7y
Yes my brain is always looking for proof & “disproof” if that makes sense!
- Date posted
- 7y
Life is crazy- i have always said God will never give you anything you cant handle- however why is God giving me this.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 12w
I really need help understanding what I’m going through. For a long time now, I’ve been struggling with thoughts and feelings about women that confuse and scare me. Sometimes I feel this strange emotional or mental ‘pull’ toward certain women — it’s not exactly sexual, and not clearly romantic either, but it feels like something, and it triggers deep anxiety. When I see a beautiful woman or a WLW (woman-loving-woman) couple, I feel something that I can’t explain — sometimes I think it’s just admiration or aesthetic appreciation, but OCD keeps telling me: “You felt something, so you must be gay,” or “You’re hiding something.” I get stuck in endless loops, trying to analyze these moments and label them. Even when I feel physical or emotional reactions, they don’t feel natural or aligned with who I am. They feel like a reaction to the idea of women, not real attraction. I try to be honest with myself — I even told a friend I might be bisexual at some point, just to test if that felt more comfortable. But it didn’t. It made things worse, and I felt like I lost touch with who I am. I don’t want to lie to myself or live in denial, but I’m exhausted. It feels like I’m being mentally forced to feel something that isn’t mine. I’m 14, and I understand that things might still be developing, but I can’t help feeling like I’ve always been drawn to men, and never naturally wanted women that way. Still, I keep doubting everything. Is this real attraction or OCD feeding false feelings and thoughts? Can OCD create emotional or mental sensations that feel like desire? I’m so scared that I’ll lose myself, or find out something I never wanted. I just want peace and to feel like myself again.
- Date posted
- 8w
Hello, so I’ve been struggling really badly with so-ocd where I am worried that I’m not actually straight when that’s what I’ve always thought and wanted to be. I’ve been with my boyfriend for about 2.5 years now, he’s my first boyfriend and I really love him so much and want to spend the rest of my life with him. I remember one time, before I had struggles with so-ocd, I had a thought along the lines of ‘what if I’m missing out on other men by staying with him’ and it didn’t really cause any anxiety but I felt quite guilty for thinking that. But I moved on. However, right now I’m in the depths of so-ocd it started back in March I believe, and today I had a thought along the lines of ‘what if I never get the opportunity to try being with a woman because I’m in a relationship with a man’ and that has really set me off today. I’ve had a meltdown over it, my chest feels heavy and it felt so real like I actually wanted it and I had a feeling of wanting to be gay even though that’s not what I want in life. Why is this happening to me and I feel so horrible for thinking this like it felt like it was me and not the ocd and that I’m just lying to myself and my boyfriend. I’ve tried scrolling on here to see if anyone has had a similar thought or experience and I am aware that this is reassurance seeking but I just need someone to tell me that I’m okay
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5w
I was wondering if this also happened to anyone. I grew up very open-minded and allowed myself to question my sexuality when I was younger. I explored feelings for both genders and attraction to them from afar, because I didn't have any friends or experiences to guide me through them. When I started dating, I was open to both but slowly and surely naturally phased out women. It always felt performative, like pretending to be upset they didn't respond, choosing who to be attracted to, and while present with them, wanting to back away or feeling a level of discomfort. When my SO-OCD started, these experiences made it very difficult to navigate the anxieties and intrusive thoughts. My thoughts often circled back to the idea that if I wasn't attracted to women, I wouldn't have tried to in the first place. This type of thought is like a Catch-22. On one hand, I am surveying my past actions or memories for any signs of true attraction or trying to pick at moments where I could prove that I was actually uncomfortable. On the other hand, the thought of being uncomfortable with a moment is tainted in my brain because of the idea that I could just be in denial. Any emotion I've ever had gets scrutinized in hindsight, making it feel like any way in which I feel is wrong. SO-OCD has been particularly difficult because of the fact that I've never been pejorative towards being queer or the LGBTQ+ community. It goes against my own values whether or not I am actually queer or actually straight. I remember growing up in an environment (whether school, family, or friends) that was always lined with prejudice towards any type of outsider - OCD makes me feel ashamed for my own want to understand any group or background different from my own. Essentially, I wanted to know if that's also something that plagues others with SO-OCD. For me, no matter what side of the fence I fall on my OCD rewrites it as bad: Either I'm in denial and lying to everyone even though they already secretly know, or I'm a homophobe. Sometimes they even mix. It doesn't make any sense.
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