- Date posted
- 2y ago
Just want people to respond
I don’t honestly care if it’s people telling me to shut up, or stop posting, or anything… I just want someone to talk to me…
I don’t honestly care if it’s people telling me to shut up, or stop posting, or anything… I just want someone to talk to me…
Comment deleted by user
The only way of treating myself is to be uncertain about whether or not I’ll do something to a child in the future? Being uncertain about being a potential pedo? About how my worst fears could be true? This isn’t something that I can just say “maybe, maybe not”… this is about me having to live with the uncertainty that I may or may not be the worst type of monster in this entire planet…
@745 I suggest to you to inform yourself how OCD works, if you had down that, like you said you did by saying you followed my suggestions (which is not a must, of course, but you just said you did), you'd know that already... Again, you can post your thoughts and seek for reassurance, but you have neither the right to demand a response, nor getting reassurance.
@Zoë_84 I’ve been trying to do erp and the maybe, maybe nots… I’m trying to do what I can… but when it makes it feel so real then it becomes an absolute panic and brings me down to despair so much so… I’m not trying to demand any responses from anybody… I’m not trying to be combative in my responses and just explain my situations in a calm way…
@745 Just my two cents... Your OCD sounds severe, if I was you, I'd talk to an ERP for OCD specialist...
@Zoë_84 Don’t have the money for therapy or insurance… I don’t have any books… I’ve emailed so many specialists and organizations… all I have is this community… at this point this is the real me… I put up fake smiles and stuff every day because of this… I have had thoughts of dying for nearly 720 days now… this isn’t living… I’m not living… I’m in the only place where people understand… where people I presume care… I hate myself so much… I hate this so much… I hate everything so much… the only thing I have to myself is pain and suffering every day because of this… all I really have right now is this community… my family doesn’t understand it… my friends don’t understand it… I have nothing… but this community… this place is where I can actually talk about my struggles and issues… talking to people makes me feel like I’m not alone… I can’t take this anymore…
@745 I get most of my information online, from serious websites, like nocd, manhattan cbt, not tiktok, or reddit...
@Zoë_84 Those information is for free
@Zoë_84 I don’t use TikTok or Reddit… this site is the only place where I try to understand if what I have is OCD and feel like I belong somewhere… because I don’t have anyone else…
I see your posts and I hear you, the way you describe your thoughts is what everyone with ocd is going through (just different themes). What I can read between the lines is that you have a hard time accepting the thoughts which you have to do if you want them to stop bothering you
I just had an intrusive thought of a real event (I have real event OCD) and it’s like all of a sudden the anxious feeling is gone… it’s making me feel like I’m not anxious and I don’t like it
What’s worse is that the intrusive thoughts are suddenly gone as well… like the intrusive thoughts and the anxious feelings are gone and replaced with a “chilly” feeling… I don’t like it at all… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way
745, I also make posts no one is commenting on. We are all sufferers here and we don't have the right to expect others to reply. More over, I made suggestion to you, but you stopped reply to those, you only shared more thoughts you had and as far as I understand seek for reassurance and reassurance is not what you are supposted to ask for and it's also not what we are suppose to give one another.
I’ve been trying to do what people have been suggesting to me… but it’s not working… it’s feeling worse and worse and now its making me feel like I’m cold without the intrusive thoughts…
Comment deleted by user
I want to try you know? But being uncertain and leaving things up to chance is sooo difficult… I’ve been suffering this for two years now… I also have POCD, and real event OCD. When I’m reading peoples stories on real event OCD it starts making me feel anxious and I get intrusive thoughts of “oh you did something very bad”… and it makes me feel like I’m accepting it when I dont want to be… when it makes it feel so real and the intrusive thoughts tell you that you did something really bad, it makes me feel like I’m suffering so so so much… plus when I try to reassure myself and say I didn’t do what my intrusive thoughts are tellling me, it gives me more intrusive thoughts of being in denial… like just now that I’m getting intrusive thoughts of the incident and it’s making me feel like I’m slowly not getting anxious about it which scares me 😭😭😭
@745 Hey! I read your comments and I'm so sorry you feel that way. And I totally get that it isn't just an uncertainty for you but it decides for you if you are a monster or not. But that is the thing ; living with the horrible anxiety and uncertainty is what is gonna clear up your brain in the long run! The longer you sit with those feelings, the less they'll occur. Because with overthinking all this, you are providing reaction to those thoughts that deserve no reaction bc they are ocd, you are engaging with the idea of a person that you are not! Always remember. A bad person will never feel bad about their actions. Ocd tells you that you are the exact opposite of what you value the most! Please get some information on how ocd works and that you are feeding it with rumination (overthinking) and that ERP is a solution for the long run!! It's proven! Ocd is like a Bully, and the less reaction you provide, the less interested it will get in bullying you. I know that you can do all of that, we as community are here for you and all hope for you to find some information, YouTube provides all sorts of free and informative and also step by step content! You got this!!
To the other comments I totally get where you are coming from but I think we all know how hard it is to break the cycle and someone that doesn't know where and how to start is of course overwhelmed and searching for reassurance as it works like a drug.. Without enough knowledge about ocd, reassurance feels like the answer and it's the only thing that we could cling onto before getting the needed help ❤️
Posting for reassurance and not getting comments due to that is so hard. OCD is so hard..
PLEASE do not argue over political stances in this post that is not what this is for at all. For context I consider myself someone with mixed views (politically homeless) and I am connected with people of all stripes and beliefs and stances. After the inauguration in the USA this weekend there has been an overwhelming response from the populace especially online. I feel like I’m completely surrounded by people (on every “side”) who are making very intense and unyielding statements about other people’s morals and values and “good-“ or “bad-ness” based on their beliefs, opinions, responses or non responses to all the different things going on politically. I feel like it’s driving me insane. My head has been spinning constantly and I can’t stop crying. I feel like I’m drowning and cornered and under a police interrogation light. I’m so terrified of saying or doing or thinking or not thinking the “wrong” thing, I’m feeling my heart being torn in so many directions and I’m struggling to stop ruminating and spiraling over feeling like I don’t belong anywhere and no matter what I’m always going to be evil to someone. This is not me taking a side or revealing what I think, or trying to make an implied judgment or comment on ANY political figure, policy, etc….My point is: the issue I’m having is with the way people are talking about these issues and about other people in the midst of these issues, so black and white, so moralistic, and my OCD is having a field day. Just looking for camaraderie and to know I’m not alone in this. I please ask again do not bring up specific political issues or take stances in the comments. Thank you.
I’m struggling so bad. I actually started getting better but now my thoughts are back. I feel like I can’t do anything, watch a movie “oh you’re turned on by that”, go out shopping “oh you’re trying to look pretty for her”. Like what???? My brain just won’t stop!!!!!! It’s making me so depressed, I just feel like I’m about to lose it. I’m happily married, and absolutely in love with my husband. But my brain keeps saying “you’re gay! You’re bi” whatever. I’m so tired guys, I feel so alone, and this has been going on for months…
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond