I feel you, I literally skipped a whole semester bc of my ocd and the consequences of having it without a proper treatment, I self harmed alot i did drug abuse and tried to kill myself, ocd can literally turn your life to pure hell and suffer without hope
I recently discovered that all the bad things that happened in my life, the bad grade the difficulty of do anything even the simplist tasks, lack of concentration and more all bc of my ocd, I'm not lazy I'm not a bad person I'm not stupid I'm just tired, I'm so tired, when I realised that a week ago I started searching more about ocd what the cause what can make it worsen treatment lifestyle etc etc, the main treatment is erp unfortunately I can't go to therapist so I'm doing it in my own and I started today, It's so hard but I believe that what makes it so much painful rn will be so much easier later, we just need to have faith in ourselves bc no one will
Secondly, lifestyle is so important in ocd, I started intermittent fasting about 5 days ago, I fast from 8 pm to 12 pm ( 16 hours), It's not recommended in ocd patients but I just want to make it more lifestyle for me, but for you you don't need to fast at all just reduce your unhealthy food sugary food fried food etc etc, and try to eat whole grains beans fish more vegetables and fruits and drink 2 litres of water everyday, and take vitamins it's so important in fighting ocd, I take well woman vitamins and magnesium glycinate everyday after meal, and also your healthy lifestyle will increase the growth of your good bacteria inside your gut, also you can take probiotic sciences have found a STRONG connection between mental health and gut health, so please try to buy one I recommend the probiotic from now company bc it has the strains of bacteria we need to fight ocd, exercise also has a great effect on your brain, practical mindfulness it will help a lot not only with thoughts also in your whole tasks that need you to concentrate
Please don't give up on yourself, you've been through so much and I can understand that Istg, you just need to go through the right path to get out of the ugliness of ocd, and you will! My advice is to concentrate on your therapy from ocd like I mentioned above, believe me you will find studying so much easier and acceptable when you manage sever symptoms and anxiety, don't think of anything rn other than your therapy, take just 5 days and educate yourself more change your lifestyle practice erp and mindfulness, and then little by little your brain will change
Best wishes you got this, I believe in you and you will definitely gonna go through this 🙏🏻❤️