How can I forgive myself for past mistakes I can't change?

I’ve changed so much and I feel so stupid for not knowing then what I know now. I should of known. But it’s years later and there’s nothing I can do to change it. Is ocd blowing it out of proportion? Maybe. But I just can’t let go of how dumb I was when I should of been more smart about it

@Just Breathe ❤️ I hear you, and I'm just throwing ideas out here but maybe the way to react to this OCD thought isn't to obsess over trying to forgive yourself at all. It might be to prevent the mistake of letting a few details of your distant past limit your present wellbeing and future potential. Then your future self can look back knowing you did your best. I wish you well!

@Marcus47289 Thank you

I’m not ok with the mistakes I made at all. I wish it never happened and knowing what I know now and having better knowledge and adult mindset I have so much remorse and regret. I want to believe you but my mind won’t let me unfortunately but your advice and the encouragement is very helpful. Thank you 🙏🏻

Thank you. I want to believe that for myself but I just can’t forgive myself. It’s so hard to. I should of known then what I know now and I hope that’s not an excuse because I’m a very bluntly honest person. I have a huge heart and I know I’m a good person but I’m scared to death if my past stupid mistakes define me because by no means was I trying to be a bad person and I definitely don’t want to be know. It’s frustrating. I could listen to someone say “Let it go. Stop worrying about it. Stop punishing yourself. The past is in the past” but the ocd just feeds onto that. It makes it worse and fights back with, “well what if I’m this kind of person now. What if I’m “bad”. What if the mistakes I’ve made were too wrong to forgive.” And I go down with dark and deep rabbit hole of depression and self hatred that I can’t get out of. I appreciate your kind words and for helping me. I appreciate that a lot. I hope maybe one day I will be able to get through this once and for all

@Just Breathe ❤️ I’m sorry this is bothering you so much right now. How long has this been bothering you? My brain latches on to things I’ve done in the past and I can’t stop thinking about it which makes it feel so terrible. It’s the OCD that makes everything feel like it’s the end of the world. God I hate it. I usually get tortured by this thought or belief that I did something wrong or made a wrong choice for weeks. But eventually I get exhausted of it and with life events the thought eventually fizzles away... but then eventually a new worry about something I did comes up and bothers me again ugh I hate it. Idk if this is similar to what u r experiencing

@Noelle! It’s been bothering me for a couple years now. Some days are better than others. It’s bothers me most when I get super triggered or when I’m on my period unfortunately (sorry tmi) but it’s just how it is. I hate it so much. It’s absolute torture. I’ve dealt with false memory but unfortunately this is real event for me. I could deal with intrusive thoughts for days knowing it’s not real. Unfortunately past mistakes are real and they hit deeper than a false memory. I completely understand and you are not alone. OCD likes to attack what we fear most. It also likes to attack what we love most. It’s awful. I can go theme to theme for weeks but it’s the 2 main themes I deal with on the daily and it’s exhausting at this point. I’m so tired

@Just Breathe ❤️ I heard a phrase once that OCD makes a victim feel like they are a villain. Your right it does attack what we care about most which is why it causes so much distress that you do not deserve. Im exhausted since the same thought has been bothering me since late June, I feel like an awful person. It’s so hard to get rid of, today I lost a few hours ruminating over it and idk what tommorow will bring. But I do notice focusing on the present keeps my mind off these thoughts and they do get less severe, and also excepting the fact I can’t figure out an answer for everything. Have you ever spoken to a therapist? They can be helpful

@Noelle! And by therapist I mean an OCD specialist whose certified in real exposure thearpy

@Noelle! Yes I have a therapist and my first therapist I had knew about it too. They both told me to move on and forgive myself but I don’t know if I can. Ruminating is something I deal with alot and it’s not easy. But I’m trying to do erp for it. It just feels like real event is different. Like I’m the exception and nothing can help me. That I’m different. It’s terrifying. You are not alone though. It’s nice to know that even in the midst of being in a ocd mindset where it feels like no one could ever understand the pain you feel. I do. I know it all too well and my heart goes to anyone feeling this way too

I’m so sorry you are going through this too. You are not alone. I hope you feel better soon 🙏🏻