Need Help With Bad OCD Spiral Around Guilt

When I was in HS around 10 years ago I didn't have a good understanding around consent and had really inappropriate behaviour towards female classmates. My actions weren't super violent but they were also far from appropriate To this day at times guilt still eats me up even though I know much better now and would never do that. The OCD Obsesses over it to the point it makes me think if people knew I did this when I was a teenaged kid they wouldn't be friends with me today if they knew I touched people etc. When I didn't have a good understanding of boundaries. How can I manage this with my OCD? It won't stop

Username: Sweetysalty Sweetysalty

Date posted: 2y ago

Everyone feel guilt weather u do the right thing or wrong. I was also in this condition where it was not possible for me to forgive my self I ask for punishment. U will start hating people when u grow up later and then u will say I did the right thing because now a days people are too bad the thing u did was nothing compare to what other did. There is always some reason behind misunderstanding u have gone through a lot I know don't punish your self try to forgive your past. If you don't forgive yourself then other won't forgive you always try to forgive yourself your class fellow did more terrible things in life then u did but u don't know about them but u r in fear of this just try to forgive yourself and best of luck

Username: kiki♡kiki♡

Date posted: 2y ago

I've struggled with similar issues with having bad boundaries and around consent when I was younger. It's something that people are always learning (I think), and it's a really good sign that you feel this guilt. It means that you want to be a different person and not repeat these actions. I know it's really hard, but you can forgive yourself. I have struggled immensely with self forgiveness, but now I am at a place where I look at each new day and situation as a way to learn and be better. Everybody makes mistakes and does things they are not proud of, but the best thing you can do is try not to get stuck in negative feelings about yourself, and believe in a better you today. <3

Username: TillyyyxTillyyyx

Date posted: 2y ago

As young people unfortunately we don’t always get given a childhood that is what we truly need. We may learn toxic behaviours from our own parents , we may not feel loved or heard enough, and we may not be educated well enough in what is an acceptable way to behave! You were so young and none the wiser , the important part is what you chose to do about it. As adults we have to parent ourselves, give ourselves the parenting we didn’t receive as children and learn to discipline ourselves. You should be proud of yourself for working on yourself and choosing not to go down that path . It’s almost even more respectful that you learnt to stop a toxic habit yourself , be proud of your growth.

Username: TillyyyxTillyyyx

Date posted: 2y ago

@Tillyyyx There is a reason people don’t go to jail under a certain age, there brain is simply not developed enough and it’s a duty as society to help people who didn’t get the healthiest and most loving start to their life

Username: SparklingCabageSparklingCabage

Date posted: 2y ago

The thing bugging me the most is meeting new friends and thinking oh they'd hate me if they knew I did that etc. In my head I know the vast majority of people would recognize that while it was wrong it also wasn't heinously violent and I've changed from that yet my brain won't stop

Username: Violet2411

Date posted: 5y ago

Does anyone else suffer from ‘Real life events’ OCD? I constantly worry about things I did as a teenager (from ages 15-19) I wasn’t a very nice person and think I was quite a toxic girlfriend in my first relationship. I’m always terrified that people are going to find out and that I’m going to lose my job or something awful. I also think that a lot of people would be so shocked if they knew some of the things that I’d done, and that they would think so much less of me. I feel a constant need to confess or apologise, and wish more than anything that I could erase that whole chapter of my life. Previously in counselling, we looked at ‘black and white thinking’, and I managed to rationalise that everyone makes mistakes and nothing I did was that bad, but I have this horrible feeling that one day this will all catch up with me. Is this just genuine guilt and remorse or is this a symptom of OCD? Thanks in advance.

"Pure" OCD

Username: letsgo

Date posted: 5y ago

TW!! POCD Please help. I’ve been doing decent lately but just need support on something that has kept me stuck. I can’t tell if this is a real memory or not, but I’m pretty sure it is. Maybe distorted. But feels so real. And I’m terrified. Last year before my huge OCD spike. So before I even knew I had OCD. I remember being around kids at work, and this girl in a skirt was on a climber on the playground and I remember looking up and you could see her underwear. I remember staring for a minute, and it was kind of like a car accident, I couldn’t look away. I remember finally coming to my senses and saying I wonder what people would think if they knew I was doing this. After that, I completely forgot about it until my spike in October and I’ve been living in a prison of regret and guilt ever since. I sometimes see that child at work still and I get a rush of anxiety and guilt. I just don’t know how to move pass this, for this reason it gives my OCD proof that I am what I fear so much. Is it possible that I was experiencing intrusive thoughts then and just didn’t care enough or realize it. I’m so broken from this. I hate what I’m going through. I hate myself if this memory is real.

POCD

Username: Rhonda1997

Date posted: 4y ago

I am 20. Around a month ago, I suddenly remembered something very bad I did when I was ten. At the time (when I was ten), I didn’t think twice about it, but ever since I remembered it, I can’t stop thinking and obsessing over it as I do not understand how I could have ever done something so bad. It really bothers me, and now I am contemplating wether or not I am a bad person. I have read many articles about this, scanned them, looked for people who have done similar things. According to them, I have past event ocd. I can understand that, but I consider what I did too bad for it to be that. Here’s what I remember of it: When I was 10, my sister was 7, and around that age we would often just walk around naked, wrestle, and etc just like kids. This is probably why I didn’t think twice about what I did. At that time, I would hump various things, not knowing what it meant. I can faintly recollect humping my sister. I do not understand why I did it, but it bothers me a lot and makes me wonder if I am a bad person. I realise it’s horrible, but I didn’t know what I was doing at the time.

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Need Help With Bad OCD Spiral Around Guilt

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