- Date posted
- 2y
Denial
I watch a video about the deference between NOCD and denial and i was thinking what if I’m denying and I’m gay but idk if that’s the intrusive thoughts pls someone should explain
I watch a video about the deference between NOCD and denial and i was thinking what if I’m denying and I’m gay but idk if that’s the intrusive thoughts pls someone should explain
Same. I've been boy crazy my entire life and I was worried about something else and then all of a sudden, I was wondering if I was gay or if I was bi and I talked to my mother about it and she said to notice the pattern: it is attacking everything you've been so sure about all of your life.
Denial is deep down knowing you are gay and refusing to acknowledge it. If you are asking what if, then it seems like you're confused. OCD does that to you, it makes you doubt something that seemed so sure before.
1. Your not alone 2. The fact that you’re worried about it is the OCD telling you to be worried about it. Gay people aren’t afraid of being gay, they are afraid of being honest about it.
I've heard a lot of videos of people who have gone through this say that you need to accept the thoughts and how they make you feel and not judge them. And there is no way that these thought will "make you turn gay" if you are worried about that, because being gay is something you're born with. Being straight is something your born with.
@Meg Johnson So ur telling me your born gay and your born straight
@Meg Johnson That’s a big relief to hear
Honestly, at first I used a lot of reassurance and I thought "who cares if I am?" Even thought I did because I know thats not who I am. I think ultimately I'm just gonna have to accept the thoughts but not judge them. They say that ocd does have a good quality because it can allow you to imagine these things in your mind but not act on them, because you know thats not what you want to do. I also watched some shows to distract myself until it seemed like a smaller problem. I worked on myself and what was important to me. I read some books. But, I realized that I would never be able to concentrate fully on these things if there was always this nagging problem in the back of my head. So I guess you have to confront the problem and know that it can't turn you into someone that you're not.
@Meg Johnson Thank you very much
I know that sounds ridiculous, and it's probably not the answer you want. It wasn't the answer I wanted either, but everybody says that's how you get rid of it. The more you confront it, the less you let it bother you, the more the thoughts will disappear. For me the worst part of the sudden loss of attracted to boys. But I remind myself that ocd is not rational or logical. It plays with your mind.
BTW, I dont know everything about the recovery steps, but I would think in recovery you would be able to feel attraction (just a tiny bit at first) to the sex you prefer. Just not a lot because we need to overcome it completely. Like I said, I don't know about recovery much, but I might look into it.
It's okay. I get it, it's a terrible thing to go through. I wish I could go back to the way I was, but I will be that way again, I just gotta work through this.
If you are thinking "what if" then you are not in denial.
I’ve been straight all my life and i started getting intrusive thoughts and they started. They didn’t start of as “what if” it was “I’m i” and i was panicking and the thought didn’t go away
The only times I was even remotely attracted to 2 girls was when when they reminded me of guys. But really I just admired their personality.
But I wasn't judging myself when that happened, so I didn't worry about it back then.
Well not really. Just that usually as you grow older you unknowingly develop your sexual orientation based on what you like. You don't think about it, you just do it because it's part of who you are. OCD doesn't change who you are, it just makes you believe it can.
@Meg Johnson It rlly sucks
But it makes things seem so real
But it just came randomly
Starting of this summer
And they just started coming on and on and made it seem real
I know. It was like that for me, I was worried about something else and about to give in and all of a sudden it just floated through my mind and I thought "thats ridiculousness" but my anxiety latched onto it, like it wants to hurt me. And it does seem so real, doesn't it? But I just try to remember all of the things I felt with boys before and that was actually real because I was happy there and accepted it. It felt natural, because that was me. Everybody says you have to be okay with uncertainty, but to me, it is certain. I've always been straight and just because I'm feeling these things and my mind is saying that I'm not doesn't mean my mind is right.
Please sorry to disturb you. Can you give me any advice to stop them Bcs the “maybe and maybe not”method makes me feel like I’m accepting to be gay and i don’t want to.
When you had the thoughts did you lose attraction to the other gender?
Alright thank you
I did have immediate loss of attraction to the opposite sex. That was one sign that I was going through ocd, because if I were truly gay, I would think i'd know that from childhood because that's when crushes start. And I would think if I was bisexual, I wouldn't just be attracted to girls and not guys.
@Meg Johnson Alright thank you for the help
No problem :)
@Meg Johnson Sorry to disturb you once again it’s just that I’m really scared Bcs i feel like i will turn gay
@Meg Johnson But thank you for the help
Any update on how this went? I am feeling similarly
I’m really struggling with something related to me ocd, and I would appreciate kind and supportive advice. If you can’t relate or don’t think anything you have to say would be helpful, I kindly ask pls refrain from commenting this is a really sensitive topic for me. Recently, I’ve noticed a pattern that feels something extremely new and distressing. The first time it happened I remember telling myself before self pleasuring that I am in control no matter what thought comes into my mind because I wanted to prove to myself that these thoughts are just from OCD and I know who I am and an intrusive that came out of no where, and i suddenly felt an intense fear that I was acting on it. In the moment I genuinely felt like I did. And afterword, I panicked and started questioning myself. This SAME FEELING has happened three times in a row each time, the intrusive thought was unwanted and random, and completely against my morals most recently it involved pocd and it feels even worse because it generally felt like I acted on it the thought in the moment while I was self pleasuring the panic doesn’t hit until afterwards when I stop :/ I start thinking that maybe I generally made a mistake and I’m now just realizing that it’s wrong because it generally feels like that :( but when I actually think about it again goes against my morals and values doesn’t make sense it feels incredibly real, and I can’t seem to shake this feeling off that I may have acted on it I’m terrified because I never wanted these thoughts in the first place. And I definitely didn’t choose them. If I had known, I would’ve had these intrusive thoughts I wouldn’t have self pleasured in the first place but it’s extremely hard to convince myself that this may be OCD because I feel like I have no other reason to believe that I didn’t act on it :/
Sometimes I think " do I like kids?" "Would i get aroused if I saw content with kids?""What if I'm a pedo and cant accept it?" "What if I'm ok with these thoughts?" "What if I'm not distressed enough " "What if I enjoy these thoughts?" , i avoid kids as much as i can, i cant look at them bc I'm scared I'm gonna have some groin like response. I keep testing if I'd get turned on or if I'd have some groinal response to sexual scenarios with kids. Sometimes I think that if I took my life this would be over and i wouldn't have to think about this and i wish i doubted something else instead of things like this. I had similar situations just with different topics such as if i loved or found sexually appealing a guy while in a relationship and i kept asking myself those questions for months and i avoided going to school for weeks and when I went I'd cry and have anxiety attacks. I had it with past actions i obessed over and felt the need to exploit every detail and be honest because otherwise i was being a fraud. I had it for sexual things that happened when i was a child. Im not diagnosed with ocd but should i tell this to my local counselor? Can someone help? Give me advice or tell me anything?
I’m 25 and never ever thought this before my soocd relapse. I have a bf of 5 years. Never been a high libido kinda girl. Don’t get me wrong I do get turned on by my bf but not like every day you know? - That had always been in the back of my head, is this normal and ok? But my ocd has latched onto the most scariest what if EVER. My brain is now saying How do you know you won’t prefer to sleep and kiss girls if you haven’t tried it: and it’s that unknown that is scaring the shit out of me. I DONT AND NEVER HAVE wanted to sleep / kiss a girl. But now my intrusive thoughts is all I think about!!! I don’t want I don’t want I don’t want??? So why does my brain think BUT WHAT IF??? I know ocd thrives off uncertainty which is why I think this is happening? But I don’t wanna find out or work it out because all I want is to be with my bf and marry him!! Is this just the epitome of OCD?
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